Linguica

The other day we got spammed by what we think was a bot so I added a dumb CAPTCHA for jerks to the registration page. Log out and look at it if you like.

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there once was a game about buggies
that was loved by a bunch of dumb druggies
they spent their life savings
to fulfill their cravings
for a game with a palette like used huggies

there once was a ken kutaragi
whose business sense was somewhat foggy
he thought consumers would beg
to pay an arm and a leg
to watch the ballad of ricky bobby

the ps3's new iteration
of character manipulation
lets you wave it around
which is much more profound
an advancement than played-out "vibration"

the ps3's much-vaunted cell
is causing developers hell
says sony, "we don't care,
they'll just use middleware"
does the name "saturn" ring a bell?

though sony remains yet defiant
and their legions of fanboys compliant
i wish they'd take pains
to kindly explains
why the thing must be so fucking giant

who cares if the loading screen drags
and character switches cause lags
the ps3's blu-ray
will carry the day
'cuz hard drive caching is for fags

there once was a game-playing Brit
who practically chomped at the bit
for the day ps3s
would be shipped overseas
wait 'til he finds out it's such shit

killzone 2 was shown at e3
and filled all the masses with glee
said phil harrison, "now I'm
swearing this is real-time
and not a pre-render, no sirree"

the launch of the ps3 must
be considered no less than a bust
when every best buy
has a table stacked high
with "new" boxes gathering dust

i'm hardly in microsoft's lap
but the ps3's lineup is crap
when a simplistic, lame
converted flash game
is ever called a "killer app"

about lair, all the tongues started waggin'
when youtube clips showed massive laggin'
in a game filled with fights
against humanoid sprites
and an ugly semen-covered dragon

the ps3's control ports were zero
which meant there'd be no guitar hero
for jimmy to play,
and so since that day,
he has felt like a big stupid queero

$17,000 for medical expenses and $25,000 for pain and suffering, you?

I have been meaning to start a general gaming news type blog but I need a decent site design before I can really get started. I'm going to be using Wordpress but I am a color blind retard that can't design a website to save his life so I am curious if there's anyone who might be willing to lend a hand.

http://imdb.com/title/tt0441048/

http://www.doomworld.com/linguica/voicemail.mp3 (right click save as)

YOOU'RE BREAAAAAAAKING MY HEAAAAAAARRRRRTTT

Friday night: I go out to a bar, hang out, have some fun. At about 1:30 a girl comes over and sits down next to me, we talk a little, next thing I know she is hanging off me and we leave together. We make out a bit on the way to my car, I drive her back to her place, make out some more, we exchange numbers and she says she'll give me a call on Saturday or I should call her.

Saturday afternoon: I give her a call and leave a message on her voicemail saying, hey, I had a great time last night, let's do it again. She text messages me a while later basically saying "ummm I was really drunk and I don't know if I remember you." We text back and forth a bit and she says we should hang out and she'll call me Sunday.

Sunday morning: She texts me asking for my email address, so I text it back to her. Pretty soon she sends me an email explaining that she was really drunk and I seemed like a nice enough guy but she felt weird calling or going out with a guy she remembers next to nothing about. I email her back saying yeah that is kind of weird and talk a bit about myself and about what she had told me on Friday. I give her my AIM name in the process

Sunday afternoon: She AIMs me and we chat for a little while. We agree to go out for a drink or something on Wednesday.

Sunday night: At about 9:30 pm she texts me again, asking if I want to go out for a drink right then. I say sure, why not, and I go over to her place, pick her up, and we go to a nearby bar for a few drinks. After about an hour we are making out again, she says she shouldn't stay up too late since she has to get up early and we go back to her place and make out some more. She says she wants me to stay the night but isn't sure because if I do there's basically no chance of her getting up early because she's going to be jumping my bones. I don't want to be screwing up her life so I take a rain check and finally leave around midnight. After all we can get busy on Wednesday.

Monday morning: I text her saying "hey thanks for last night". Pretty soon I get an email from her saying she had fun too, but she doesn't feel any chemistry between us, so have a nice life. Uh, OK?

KNOWN MISTAKES:
* Going out on Sunday night, it made me appear like I was ready to drop everything for her and she didn't have to compete for my attention.
* Acting too nice, I gave her a lot of compliments (mostly during making out) that again probably made me look weak and needy. If we're furiously making out she doesn't need much more validation that I think she's hot.
* Not pushing her to fool around on Sunday night, even if things were doomed anyway I should have done everything I could to get laid.

And I am still posting on Doomworld. WTF is wrong with me.

178

This is bull!!!!!
Every one going to counter Strike!!!
I Played it!!!
I sucked so bad!!!
I Have more fun vomiting one my self than playing counter strike!!!!
We must do something!!!!
My freind said that thiers no won online playing doom!!!!!
i you argree e-mail me

http://doomworld.com/andrewb/arioch.txt

No, I haven't been banned. I'm just sick to my stomach by how Arioch and other #doom ops have treated their visitors over the past few months. Arioch banning people for little or no reason. Afterglow banning people for no reason and Arioch letting it stand. Mantra people banning for no reason and Arioch letting it stand. This incident where Napalm was banned for no reason was just the last straw. I'm not going to push away the truth anymore. #doom has got to be the worst-run IRC channel I've ever seen.

I find myself chatting more and more in #zdoom, which I feel is an awesome channel. It now averages probably 80% the number of users as #doom, and 300% the amount of chatter. The only thing it lacks is "Cacodemon," a bot to record channel stats, but I've got bored of that anyway. It's owned by Kurt Kesler, who's just an awesome guy and a great personality, a wonderful member of the Doom community. It's frequented by (in my opinion) the coolest members of the community. Quasar who is wonderful, Serious SoM_ who I love, Fredrik who's a friendly guy, Tarin who doesn't talk much but is also cool, BigD who's a great guy and a great member of the community. Chrozoron who's a nice guy. There are of course many others who I haven't mentioned. It's just a wonderful place. It's such a warm, welcoming environment. And there are no "conversational terrorists" or lamers. Just awesome, friendly people.

Then I look back at #doom. It's a sad place. Big thunderclouds hanging over. Bitterness and distain everywhere. Everyone is in the dumps. By far the biggest cancer in #doom is ARIOCH. No words are passionate enough to describe what I think of him. He's rude. He treats perfecly decent people like scum. He ignores people. If someone ever asks for help he always, without fail, tells them they're stupid idiots and that they should RTFM. And he only gives a shred of respect of decency to people who are equally as abbhorent in their behavior. He hosts sites and files for many community members on his personal server, but I can guarantee that he does it purely for the feeling of control and power over others.

I have a few more bones to pick. AFTERGLOW, you are almost equally as sad a person. You kick me for having a peaceful conversation when it has nothing to do with you. You kick me when I've been idling for hours. You say things about me which are simply not true and I think it's pathetic. I'm maybe the only regular in #doom who never made a joke about your mom, ever. I don't know what happened to you, but I don't care to find out. You are a cancer.

AURIKAN, you left a couple of months ago, and believe me, I couldn't be happier to see you go. You were a terrible cancer, and a horrible person. I thought maybe you had come back to #doom with a nick and personality change. If so, it was certainly an improvement. I really don't know what's wrong with you, man. I'm just glad you never came back.

MANTRA, I don't know what your @#$)#*@)( problem is with me. You've been kicking me around and name-calling me for no reason ever since day one. For absolutely no reason whatsoever. Maybe you're compensating for something. I don't really care what the reason is. All I know is you're a troll, and that Arioch is accomplice to a troll for allowing your ridiculous behavior.


I guess that's all. Banning your core membership is a surefire way to kill an IRC channel. I (and maybe others) will have the last laugh when #zdoom is full of great laughs and friendly people and great times, and #doom is nothing but a few prick ops who drove everyone else away, and a couple of non-ops who don't care.

I have now left #doom for greener fields. /me hugs everyone in #zdoom.


P.S.: Arioch will most display his cowardice and guilt by post hecking this thread and banning me from the forums, but you can see a copy of this message at http://doomworld.com/andrewb/abandoning#doom.txt

http://www.doomworld.com/linguica/retarded%20civic%20commercial.mp3

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benford%27s_law