Single Status Update
26 now and feeling more burned out each birthday
dont know how much longer i can stand being alone
oh well, happy birthday to me i guess
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Happy birthday, man.
Persistence is the key. Just find a girl and create situations that you can "run into her". You can silently orbit or be proactive about it but eventually you can make yourself known.
Everyone's mileage will vary, but from my own experience, this approach is kind of crappy and powerless. I invested years of time and emotion focusing on women like this with only meager returns to show for it. Despite what rom-com writers seem to think, real-life attraction doesn't magically grow from nothing when two people bump into each other over time. Their attraction has to be significant to start with, before you can increase it like that. So, a person who'll go out with you after 'seeing you around' for a while is likely already interested in you, and you might as well be bold and ask for a phone number right away.
Most women can decide whether or not they'd be willing to date you within minutes of meeting. If 5-30 minutes of casual conversation isn't enough to boost her interest and make her comfortable enough to give you a phone number, you probably never had a shot with her to begin with. If you put more than half an hour of time and thought into a girl before going for her number, you're wasting unnecessary time for sharply diminishing returns. The longer you hover around her without demonstrating that you have the backbone to ask her out, the more likely she is to start thinking of you as "just a friend," too.
If you're seriously lonely enough to do something about it, here's a much better approach: make casual dating a hobby, and aim to excel at it. Date as many people as possible, have lots of fun with whomever mutual attraction is strongest, and keep dating / eliminating prospects until you find someone who both wants and warrants a long-term place in your life. The only really hard part of this is at the beginning, getting past your own hangups and personal shit, and building yourself up to be "the most dateable version of you".
Build up your tolerance for rejection, your sense of humor, and your ability to read body language. If you can make a girl laugh, gauge how much she likes you, and not care (or take it personally) if she turns you down for whatever reason, then you have pretty much all you need to be really good at dating.
I honestly felt like a bit of a charlatan inside when I first started proactively dating, like I was just waiting for someone to call me out for my perceived failings. I'd latch onto any aspects of myself that seemed lacking and expect to be summarily rejected for them. It took me a month or two of awkward rejections and 'meh' dates before I actually felt like I had a clue what I was doing. Next thing I knew, I was dating three to five girls concurrently, laughing off rejection without a care, with my romantic stress level becoming nonexistent.
Hovering around and hoping some girl you fantasize about will take a fancy to you effectively relinquishes any control you have over your own romantic / sexual life, and puts your satisfaction at her whim. Going after people you're attracted to (hoping they'll like you back) won't give you as much freedom and fulfillment as selecting from amongst those who already want what's in your pants. Dating multiple women and letting them chase you is better in both the long and short term than getting hyper-focused on chasing or 'running into' anyone specific.
The best part of being in your mid-20s as far as dating goes: most of your prospects will be out of their flaky emotionally immature teenage-to-mid-twenties phase. It's way less stressful to date 25-30 year olds than to date 18-21 year olds.
Okay, dating textwall/rant/soapbox over. =p
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