Single Status Update
Hey guys, well my girlfriend who I've been going out with for two years just left me for who she was with before.She didn't give me a reason, and she didn't even break up with me to my face (text message). He beat her, he called her names and constantly swore at her, and blew her off to do drugs(I enjoyed some weed noww and then but never if it meant blowing her off). Now I have to watch her go and willingly be treated like this. The kicker? I'm happy for her. She hadn't seemed very cheerful for a while, and now she's her usual self now. I know I love her because I'm happy for her that she left me because she wasnt happy. I told her "I love you, and I always will. If he EVER does anything to upset you I'm here for you day or night. Even if you stay with him I'll still be here if you need to talk."
Thank you so much for reading my rant, I really needed to get that out. So do you think I'm doing the right thing for her in handling this like this?
(There wil be NO tl;dr because then this whole thing would lose it's meaning and be completely pointless.)
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This is probably too late to be of any real use, but for what it is worth, here is my two cents worth.
First off, i am cautiously glad you two are back together. I am trying to fool myself that I am not a mass of cynicism and indifference, and sometimes I manage it. Like right now. So all the best to you both.
I know it is easy to be like "You fucktard, why did you let her back in after she did this to you? She will just do it again", but it could also be that she realises that she has something good and may just stick with you this time. I have seen that happen before, so it could happen. Whether it happens to you or not remains to be seen, coz she does sound a little unstable. But for what it is worth, good luck.
The thing I really wanted to say is this. The best thing you can do for this relationship is to really get your own shit together. You have to know where you are going. Girls (not being sexist here) love to be led. And the ones that don't are generally only like that coz they have had bad experiences with people who have led them in the past (this is usually parents, or an ex boyfriend.) So now you gotta lead her somewhere. You gotta be able to say "Honey. This is where I am going. This is the life I am going to lead. And if she likes that life that you are headed towards, she will follow you.
And to be honest, the worst thing you can do is to make a girl the point of your existence. If you do that, then this means you are not going anywhere, coz if you get the girl, you will stop. Your journey will be ended. It seems to me like you have done this somewhat, and this is why she got all bored.
In short, you got the girl. Good for you. Now you gotta take her somewhere. If you can do that, there is a good chance she will stay. If you can't, forget it. She will get restless, coz you have stopped going anywhere since you got what you wanted.
Hope this makes some sort of sense. Sorry for the tl;dr thing.
That's very true, and is not sexist. I like my girlfriend because she her own personality and has interests which aren't necessarily mine or related to me. We do things together, and she can happily do her own thing if I'm out or want to play Doom or whatever. And I am the same.
A relationship is two people with compatible lives enjoying them together, not making each other their whole life. That's boring.