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About cacomonkey

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  1. I feel shame and defeat when I cheat... I feel shame and defeat when I cheat... I feel shame and defeat when I cheat. This is my mantra.
  2. I have a strange control scheme that I've used extensively for FPS games. In my left hand, I like to use a 360 controller to move forward/backward/strafe and a few other buttons, and a mouse in my right hand for aiming/fire/use item/etc. Doom 2016 unfortunately doesn't allow you remap controller buttons so how can I prevent the game from natively detecting my controller so I can remap the 360's buttons with Xpadder?
  3. I know people who spend hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars on microtransactions on online android & iOS of crap anime-inspired junk designed to do nothing but take advantage through psychological skinner-box conditioning of the addicted, the hopeless, the simple minded, and the callow with access to their parents' plastic. Well, okay, I personally don't know any of these unfortunate creatures but I've heard of them and seen their tragic stories on forums and stuff. So I guess paying only $3,500 for a moldy old floppy disk that would probably disintegrate into a puff of mylar dust if you actually inserted into a 3.5 drive isn't that bad in the grand scheme of things. It's bad, but... not that bad, I guess.
  4. cacomonkey

    What was your first Doom experience (and in order)?

    I wanted to mention that when I first saw the buzz in all the computer gaming magazines in 1993 about this new revolutionary game called Doom and saw all the screenshots, I was salivating. "This is the ultimate game!" I decided. But my circumstances at the time had me with only a SNES console as my sole resource for playing any video games. I decided I would buy the SNES port of Doom just as soon as it came out. I came very very close to pulling that trigger but then my nephew gave me his old Tandy 286-computer with color VGA monitor and I discovered shareware Wolfenstein 3D and Catacombs 3D off the BBS boards and lost all interest in the prospect of playing Doom because I knew my device couldn't handle Carmack's new thrilling wonder game engine. Then a year later in 1995 or so I bought my first "powerhouse" IBM-compatible - an AMD 5x86 computer that was the equivalent of a Pentium 75. "Doom, here I come!" I exclaimed. But of course the game couldn't even remotely live up to the mythic expectations I had of it when I finally did play Doom. But to this day I wonder what would have happened if I had first played Doom on that SNES with 10 Frames per second (or whatever it was) and a horrid d-pad controller (for first person shooters, at least). Perhaps I would have lost all interest in Doom and wouldn't be here today. Perhaps.
  5. cacomonkey

    Most recent movie you saw

    Last movie I watched was The Bad Batch (2017). Awful shit directed by a woman about a post-Apocalypse world with cannibals who all look like body builders preying on the weak and delicious on one side, and Keanu Reeves as a free-love, free-drugs cult leader on the other. Central character is an attractive young woman who loses an arm and a leg to the cannibals in the first five minutes of the film and spends the rest of the movie hopping about on her artificial leg and showing off her 10" CGIed-out arm-stump. At one point, she smears herself in her own feces so the cannibal woman tending to her has to clean her up, thusly giving her a chance to whack her with an iron rod so she can escape. Keanu Reeves gives a long monologue about poop at one point. The woman who directed this was clearly insane and you can't help thinking she had sexual fantasies about being man-handled by a big beefy cannibal who looks like Fabio right off the cover of a romance novel where he portrays a cannibal pirate. Strangely enough, it's one of those bad movies that is as fun as it sounds. Women left to their own devices (and a big movie budget) are just so bizarre... sometimes :D
  6. cacomonkey

    PS4 Controller For Doom

    I bought one of the new revisions of the official Sony DualShock 4 controller (be wary of the many, many chinese counterfeits of this controller out there, especially on ebay) for a steal at $30 (USD) and though it's a quality controller, I had issues getting it to work properly with my android device (it hates remapping). It's in my hardware drawer pretty much unused since I prefer my Microsoft camo 360 controller with the transforming D-pad.
  7. Last time I checked yesterday the bidding was at something like $2,555 (USD). It reminded me of those money laundering things you see on auction sites where a single old 286-computer from 1990 would sell to a high "bidder" for $5,000. lol. But I know John is a totally stand-up guy so I insinuate nothing here. Good for him that some madman will pay him thousands and thousands of dollars for an old floppy disk with the glue coming off the label :)
  8. cacomonkey

    Things you prefer in Doom 1/2 over Doom 2016

    I played a few minutes of Doom 2016 yesterday for the first time. The first thing I noticed in the first few seconds was that I thought I was walking so I pressed the modifier key (Shift?) to see how the game is when I run. Um, as it turns out, that was the running speed. So, the big thing of course is the speed of Doom classic verses Doom 2016. I hear you can get powerups that do in fact increase the speed so I hope to discover these in good time. The imps are MUCH nastier in new Doom vs. old, and move with an unnerving speed, like the gremlin in that Twilight Zone movie. The way they crawl up the sides of things is creepy and effective. All in all, I'm finding it to be a bit of a corridor shooter so far (like the early levels of Doom 3) and I'm not pleased with that. I liked the non-linearity of Doom classic where right off the bat you could go off in totally different directions. New Doom feels like you're being herded, like a sheep with a big gun. Hopefully it gets better.
  9. cacomonkey

    What was your first Doom experience (and in order)?

    Doom was disappointing to me first time I played it in 1995. It was dark and gloomy and full of convoluted and confusing mazes and frustrating switch hunts. I had just come off playing Catacomb 3-D and Wolfenstein 3-D and actually found them more fun and straightforward compared to Doom. It wasn't until later that I began to appreciate Doom for the masterpiece it was. I'd smoke a blunt then do some Doom, and say to myself, "You know, this is goooood shit! Cheers to Doom!!! And to this doobie! Life is good."
  10. I had a dream about John Romero last night.  No, it wasn't that kind of dream! Get your mind out of the lovecraftian gutter!

    1. Jayextee



    2. cacomonkey


      ...and perfectly manicured hands with painted fingernails!  Yeah, I have to ask myself, "Why wasn't it that kind of dream?!" :D

    3. Voros



  11. One of my favorite gameplay mods for Doom is Particle Fire Enhancer. I'm not a fan of Brutal Doom or Beautiful Doom because they change too much, and, quite frankly, Brutal Doom makes me queasy, as if I just fell into a pile of freshly mangled human corpses from a great height. Too gory for my blood but PFE gets it exactly right. Can make Vanilla Doom and wads that are vanilla-ish seem like modern versions of these classic games with the great gameplay intact. Unfortunately there are several annoying bugs in Particle Fire Enhancer that I had to mod out using Slade, like torches that sound like you're eating a meatball grinder into a super-sensitive microphone a half inch from your maw, and zombiemen walking around grunting and groaning like they have a portable Orgasmatron in their pants. The author hasn't updated it since its first release in 2011. What are some of your favorite mods or wads you wish were updated?
  12. cacomonkey

    Wads that bring you to your knees

    I think I need to take a little break from playing Doom wads. I've officially burned myself out. I attempted Map10 (Skagway) of UAC Ultra tonight. Er, did I miss something? Did I take a wrong turn? Well, at least I got to test whether the new true color software mode of gzdoom could handle hundreds upon hundreds of the entire bestiary of Doom 1 & 2 all on the screen at the same time with reasonable framerates. It can.
  13. cacomonkey

    Moonblood Megawad

    I've never figured out how to get widescreen huds working using gzdoom and doom engine games, like Doom, Heretic and Hexen.
  14. cacomonkey

    Duke nukem VS Doom

    Redneck Rampage had its share of incredibly vulgar humor, but, c'mon! How can you not smile hearing in a thick hillbilly accent things like, "I'm so hungry I could eat the ass-end of a menstrual skunk!" :D At the end of the day, though, I voted for Doom in the poll. I mean, it's simply the best PC game concept (and the execution of that concept) in the history of gaming!
  15. cacomonkey

    Duke nukem VS Doom

    I love them both but I do have a fondness for the sexist shenanigans and hyperbolic machismo of Duke 3D. I was genuinely shocked (and delighted) by much of the vulgar content of Duke 3D back in the day when it was shareware - the strippers, the pornos playing in the back booths of adult book & video stores, and the raunchy and violent one liners, like "I'm going to rip off your head and shit down your neck!" lol. This was all new to me in a PC game back then and, well, right up my alley :D