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MajorRawne

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Status Updates posted by MajorRawne

  1. Considering swallowing my pride and working on a few PSX-style maps in the hope that I'll produce something good!

    1. Alter

      Alter

      Never enough of PSX-style maps my friend. Never enough.

  2. How are you gentlemen!

    My ex and I split up by mutual agreement without bad feelings. Unfortunately, over the weeks, I came to realise all the things about her that I really missed. She's called me a few times just to talk (not about getting back). But she's got together with someone else.

    She tried to hide it from me. She says it was a respectful period after we split but I reckon it must have been pretty soon afterwards. He is her male best friend and she never talked about him with any affection - I once got mad with her over it, as he did a lot for her and she barely noticed - and she described him as "a weird trainspotter".

    Why would she hide it from me, and (possibly) pretend it happened later than it did? Why does she keep calling me just to talk about random things? Is she on the rebound, or am I being taken for a mug? Or is this what women do, and she's genuinely treating me as a friend?

    1. Show previous comments  15 more
    2. fraggle

      fraggle

      printz said:

      I hate this. Why should I cut all ties to someone, just because I was in a relationship with her? I'm not enemies with her.

      Depends on the person and depends on the relationship. In MajorRawne's case it sounds pretty clear that continued contact with her is preventing him from moving on.

    3. TwinBeast

      TwinBeast

      Just be aloof and find someone (younger hotter woman) to redecorate your home, and invite your ex for a chat when you're with that other woman. And have lots of jelly and keep your video camera ready.

    4. Cupboard

      Cupboard

      I spoke of a bender. But what of a vision quest?

  3. Hi all, I am starting medication for ADHD this week, most likely Strattera. I have struggled all my life with severe anxiety, racing speech, racing thoughts, inability to focus or concentrate, outbursts of energy with accompanying weird/immature behaviour, etc etc.

    Well now it's been given a label, and I'm glad of that, because it has helped me to make sense of a lot of things. Labels can be extremely helpful at times.

    In the past I've been variously diagnosed with depression, dysthymia, general anxiety disorder, attachment disorder and so on. But none of it seemed realistic: I had no reason to be any of these things, and when I started treatment for them, they tended to clear up straight away (except for anxiety, which has been severe and lifelong).

    My executive functioning (how my brain works) is impaired to a level normally seen in people with brain damage.

    I've been told that ADHD medication will clear up much of my anxiety, make me feel comfortable in my own skin and massively improve my concentration, confidence, productivity and ability to hold down relationships. It could reduce my cognitive impairment by such a degree that I will no longer even be classed as impaired (quite an improvement from "brain damaged"). I've also been told the improvements usually start from day one.

    Unfortunately, I am dreading the potential side effects. In fairness, people who abuse it, which I won't, tend to get the really bad ones. My therapist is convinced I won't have any, or they won't be severe. I guess this is anxiety's last throw of the dice, hoping to scare me off before I take a medication that will destroy its hold on me.

    So on Thursday morning I will take my Strattera, and it will either help me to realise my dreams, or it won't.

    Wish me luck.

    1. Show previous comments  15 more
    2. SYS

      SYS

      Yeah wasn't suggesting it as such. Strattera puts emphasis on reuptaking the Norepinephrine.

      Speaking of 5-HTP, that one is great with L-theanine and melatonin. Webber Naturals has these wicked super sleep tabs that combine all three. 5-HTP is also popular amongst the raver/EDM crowd to treat post-ecstasy serotonin burnout. It will uninhibit serotonin but it won't regenerate the damaged neurons.

    3. Cupboard

      Cupboard

      Yeah you're right about 5-htp on all counts. You can use it as a supplement to recover your mood and body's circadian rhythm after a night of MDMA or whatever research chemicals they peddle as "ecstasy"/"molly" nowadays. You can also take 5-htp a day or two in advance of a serotonergic "trip" like LSD or DXM, perhaps 2-3 doses per day increases the amount of neurotransmitters relevant to producing hallucination.

      Of course caution needs to be taken. It's gone wrong once you begin overheating, heart beating fast, you might sweat. Also nausea possible. St. John's Wort is another that causes nausea when you overdose it. I would say the wort is 3/4 the strength or equally comparable to the effect of an antidepressant medication.

    4. MajorRawne

      MajorRawne

      Evening gents, once again I started a thread then bloody forgot it.

      I was wrongly diagnosed with depression in the past and suffered severely with side effects from citalopram and sertraline, both SSRI medications. I will be avoiding that class of medication forever.

      EDIT: I think St John's Wort is similar in effect to an SSRI and you certainly must never combine SJW with any medication which works on serotonin.

      I'm now on day 11 of strattera. Week 1 was at 10mg, week 2 is 18mg. I can definitely tell you that the strattera is starting to show benefits.

      The improvements were minor on 10mg, but there were so many little things that the medication tinkered with. The medication has treated my brain and body like a series of interconnected systems, so there is far less of a "disconnect" between them now (I also attribute this to the lack of negative effects).

      I would compare it to giving my brain a thorough stage 1 tune, as opposed to simply sticking a stage 3 turbo in there. Anyone who's played Forza or worked on a car in real life will know that a raft of minor enhancements can work better in the long run than a single large improvement, and it certainly brings greater efficiency and stability. Anyone who's played Gran Turismo will know how shitty a car can behave if you simply increase it to max power without upgrading anything else.

      18mg is having a more noticeable impact, levelling my moods out and leaping to muzzle those intrusive thoughts. Getting to my age (35) with aspergers and ADHD, without receiving any kind of help or diagnosis, means that I've got a lot of entrenched thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. Strattera is the first indication that I can overcome these completely. It will just take time and hard work.

  4. How are you, gentlemen!

    I am having some relationship issues, so naturally, instead of talking them through with my girlfriend, I'm going on the Doomworld forum!

    I've been seeing a girl for about six weeks. I really like her. She's got a kind heart, she's extremely loving and she is much more into me than anyone I've ever been out with. But it's getting a bit much. As an aspie, I am not really used to having close romantic relationships and I need a bit of space to process everything that happens when we are together. (This is not the same as the "I need space" excuse people use to end a relationship.)

    In a good way, she has turned my life into a bit of a carnival, life is never dull when she's around, she is funny and quirky, it's just that she lives quite a long way from me, life can be a bit TOO exciting when she gets involved, she wants to see me a lot and she calls me several times a day. Sometimes I can't get things done because we're on the phone - she rang as I was taking my trousers down for a dump today. Our conversations can be LONG, eg 90 minutes or more, and I'm often doing something when she calls. I nearly shat myself today.

    She has inspired me to get writing again and stick at it; she is going to brush up on Doom mapping to help me get my Panophobia maps done; in short, she is everything I've ever dreamed of in a woman, I just don't always feel I can hack the pace.

    So is it me being selfish or a ponce? Or should I find a way to tell her I need some processing time? But how can I tell her this without upsetting her or making her think I want to split up?

    EDIT: Sorry, I meant to post this in Blogs to start with.

    1. Show previous comments  28 more
    2. Springy

      Springy

      the_miano said:

      Sounds like you have an overly attached girlfriend....

      Shit T-Dawg that's a right hard on puncher.

      Also, seconding what Ralphis has said or else you'll find out the hard way and it becomes so problematic that you don't get time to yourself.

    3. StevieWolfe

      StevieWolfe

      AndrewB said:

      Aspergers is not a real thing. It's a lack of social skills; nothing more. They might as well assess you as being skinny and unable to bench press 85 pounds and label that a condition as well.

      But what really blows my mind is that some people voluntarily diagnose themselves with this fake disease and wear the aspie label with pride. I guess there's nothing like believing you have a condition to absolve you of responsibility of actually improving yourself.


      I've remained on the fence about this for a long time mainly because I know many people with Asperger's apparently and I really can't see what the fuck is supposed to be "wrong" with them. I've never been diagnosed with it but I did once ask a friend whom I know was diagnosed an Aspie what the symptoms were and I remember thinking to myself about how I've been going through the same shit for years as they described it to me. Didn't have a lot of friends, was a shut in for years, therefore I developed a huge lack of social skills for the longest time. I literally no reason to have a lot sociability. In my opinion its something environmentally caused for me and others...not something inherent in genetics.

      It's not this majorly life destroying thing that some people make it out to be, and I'm really not even sure how it got put into the Autism spectrum of disorders either. Social situations make you clam up and closeness with people weirds you out and makes you anxious sometimes to the point to where you need to leave the situation for a moment. You know for years I thought this was (and in all seriousness IS) quite normal. I can see how for some it can disrupt their lives, but I don't feel that it was right to label social awkwardness its own outright mental illness. I feel that's just laziness on the part of psychological community really because the real issue may lie in a completely different anxiety related disorder.

      Just my opinion though. Don't shoot me over it.

    4. Pavera

      Pavera

      You gotta be able to say "hey babe (honey, sweety, whatever cute pet name you've assigned her), I'm in the middle of something right now, can I call back after?". Heck, tell her you're pooping. Women love that sort of intimacy. It even helps if you describe the texture and magnitude of the poop. Assign cute pet names to your poops, and tell her to "wish you luck" before you get off the phone. This is how relationships work.

  5. Greetings! Just wondered if anyone else finds the latest range of Nokia phones strokes their emotional wangulum.

    There are a ton of features missing in WP8 compared to Android. I hate people who complain about those who request a notification bar. Why should people spend ages trying to track down what just happened on their phone when we're living in the age of convenience? Notification menus should be mandatory for every OS.

    It's nice to actually own a solid, heavy phone, rather than the lighter-than-air stuff everyone else is shovelling onto the market. There's something reassuring about my 820. Also you get to change the case whenever you want, which adds a surprising amount of mileage.

    Being able to change the gorgeous Live Tiles to suit your mood is a nice touch. I just keep looking at my yellow 820 with its yellow tiles and thinking that I've never actually been in love with a phone before. Even my One X was missing something compared to this.

    With Windows 8 getting a couple of updates in the next 6 months, and Android offering such a range of features, it's almost impossible to see why people still buy Apple. I sell phones for a living and I cannot think of a single reason why you should get an iPhone 5 in a world of Lumia 1020s, Galaxy Note 2s and HTC Ones.

  6. Is there any way to access this? I feel like I'm missing out on something... even though, from what I recall, I'm not.

    1. Show previous comments  43 more
    2. Processingcontrol

      Processingcontrol

      inb4 countless posts like the one above. ;)

    3. Olympus

      Olympus

      Ive also wondered what goes on in there.... So if any mod is in the mood I'd like to be able to see it too!

    4. Bloodshedder
  7. I want to vent about the latest iPhone. I'll try to do this in a politically correct way to avoid offending those of you who use iPhones. Actually, feth it, I'm going to speak my mind, you're grown up enough to know I don't mean any of this personally.

    I work for a mobile phone network in the UK. I am upgrade and retention trained so basically I can upgrade you (if you're due), and I can also try to stop you leaving and then upgrade you (if you're due). I have also worked in customer service. Basically I know a bit about everything.

    It can hardly fail to escape one's attention that the world holds its breath for the latest iPhone. When that breath is released, people who work with mobile phones (except, perhaps, Apple staff) and people who review mobile phones let it out in a sigh of disappointment.

    Customers, herd animals that they are, are generally iPhone for life and think that the latest iPhone is a total beast of a phone and must be obtained at the expense of anyone who gets in their way!

    They think this, of course, because they have never dared to try another phone. They have iPods (not sure why when they've also got an iPhone), iPads (which they need as their iPhone screens are too small to be much use for anything) and tons of apps and accessories, all of which they paid premium money for.

    Because mobile phone reviewers cannot crow about a dual core processor and Apple keeps most of the specs to itself (so people don't find out the iPhone "only" has an overclocked 1Ghz or 1.2Ghz dual core processor when upcoming rival phones are clocking at or almost 2Ghz with quad cores), the review sites instead talk about the "experience" of using the phone as if no other handset in the world has the indefinable allure of an iPhone.

    While this may or may not be true, at the end of the day the latest iPhone is tall but not wide so you still need your iPad. The ones being released in the UK and parts of Europe are still 3G-only so you will need to buy new 4G ones next year, which will conveniently allow Apple to say it's sold, say, 30 million i5s instead of 15-20 million. People are more than retarded enough to do this.

    When we upgrade a customer to a Samsung or Sony, they are generally over the moon with excitement about the price, the deal and the freebies such phones sometimes come with. When we have an iPhone customer there are ALWAYS issues: the price of the phone is too high, the tariff is not good enough, the warranty is shit, the insurance and excess are too much, our rivals are cheaper and they're such LOYAL customers who've been with us for years but would obviously sell their grandparents for £1 off per month.

    Not to mention almost EVERY customer who calls with a phone that's having signal problems, or reliability problems, or battery problems, is an iPhone user... especially the iPhone 4, or a 3GS that was upgraded to OS5 (my advice: DON'T!!).

    I really hate Crapple iPhones, iPads and whatever other same-old-crap they're selling. I hate the secrecy of Apple which puts its sellers in such hot water with customers. I hate iPhone zombies who cause so many complaints. Still, they keep us in business I suppose, I just needed to give Crapple the middle finger. Congratulations if you read all of that.

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Mr. T

      Mr. T

      I have an iPhone4 and it's nice. I'm going out of contract in November, so will probably upgrade to the new iPhone then. iOS6 is quite nice but the new (non-Google) maps app is kinda fucked up, to be kind – although Google are releasing a maps app soon(???).

      IDK why you are bitching that the iPhone's screen size is too small. What do you use it for?! lol

    3. Maes

      Maes

      Mr. T said:

      but the new (non-Google) maps app is kinda fucked up, to be kind – although Google are releasing a maps app soon(???)


      Even if they do, it won't be (officially) supported or endorsed by Apple: Apple's policy is to avoid using competing proprietary technologies on their products, like Flash and, generally, anything using VMs and scripted languages. Apps have been rejected from the Apple Store just for those reasons.

      The "official" solution is that you wait until Native apps made as Pure Binary Apps using only the Holy Cocoa framework are available. This is also part of the reason why iOS apps tend to have good performance vs their competitors (it blows Dalvik and .NET away) but they take longer to develop.

      Remember Youtube? It was not available until they devised their own non-Flash based player, and the rest of Flash apps are and will always be a no-no.

    4. DooMAD

      DooMAD

      I haven't liked an i-anything since the Macintosh Classic, heh. Mostly over-priced and overrated. I will, however, say that their "magic mouse" is a nice concept, even though it has a stupid name.

  8. Greetings! Now HERE I have a gem that is bound to have AT LEAST one troll posting a sarcastic "Great story" or its popular variant, "Hey, great story."

    I would like to share with you the experience of my date last night so that, no matter what wretched travesty of a love life some of you may have (no offence), you will forever be contented with the safe and warm glow that comes from knowing "At least it's better than Major Rawne's!"

    Just so you understand the slang: "Pissed" is Brit slang for drunk. (Oh yes, there was alcohol involved.) We do not use it to describe anger unless the word "pissed" is followed by "off".

    I was at fault to start with because I was 45 minutes late. I agreed to meet her at a pub in Leeds. For non-UK residents, that's a city in the County of Yorkshire in the North of England – a city that is now basically a foreign colony, but that's another story. I was stupid enough to drive to Leeds without realising you cannot get a parking space unless it's miles away from where you need to be. My fault – so that's one-nil to me already.

    Unfortunately my date had used that time to consume an entire bottle of wine. When I (reluctantly, in view of how much she'd just necked on her own) offered her a drink, she wanted another wine – "I think they only sell it in bottles," she said. Well this is Leeds, not the tourist area of the Algarve, so the bottle of wine was only three times more expensive than my cola. That's either cheap wine or pricey cola.

    Anyway, I had also failed to take into account that it was a Friday night in Leeds city centre, so we had to have our conversation with shitty modern pop-noise blaring in our ears. They don't make music any more, they just make noise with a woman singing and an out-of-place male rapper joining in halfway through (for some reason).

    My date became quite excited, yelling at the top of her voice as she told me about how many fist-fights she's had (this month). Then she told me how the love of her life had broken her heart several months ago. She told me she's had a fight with her neighbour, which her neighbour really did start, and the neighbour went to the local school, told the headmaster, then the headmaster got them both in a room and told them to stop fighting! (They're both 29)

    Unfortunately by now she had finished her second bottle and was becoming amorous. She called me Mr Grey after a character in some porno. That's the second time I've been compared to him by a girl this week – I must come across as a cultured and intelligent millionnaire who loves to make women into his gimps – not really sure how a person actually delivers that impression, but that's the female mind for you. She wanted me to take her home and spend the night, never mind the fact that I had to get up for work at the crack of birdshit. In fact, her elegant solution to this problem was to "fuck work off."

    I can quite honestly tell you I have NEVER been pleased about having to go to work early in the morning until yesterday. I spun an elaborate and brilliant tale of how I'm on my last chance there and if I lose my job I've lost everything, but she was so pissed by this point I could have told her I was a weather girl called Summer Sunshine and she'd have totally ignored it.

    We went outside because I was trying to get her back to the train station so I could run back to my car, go home, get in bed and pull the covers fearfully over my head. Unfortunately I am possessed of great conscience and she could barely walk, so I volunteered to drive her home. This was in many ways a mistake because she thought Christmas had come early for her.

    I told her I don't do that stuff on a first date, so she got it into her head that I was such a gentleman she must bone me immediately, right here in the street. She started trying to give me love bites and stick her tongue down my throat. I tried to half-guide, half-carry her along crowded streets where she relentlessly made an arse of herself in front of the population of Leeds. She kept shouting that she hoped I didn't have masking tape and a rope in my car – weirdly enough I actually did have masking tape but that was to tape my lights up when I went to the track. I strongly considered putting some across her big mouth.

    And then her fucking teeth fell out!

    Yes, her entire top row of teeth was a falsehood. She put them back in quickly but the damage was done: she'd drooled all over her chin – AND SHE TRIED TO KISS ME LIKE THAT.

    Just because I had finally got her in the car didn't mean the night was over! No, there were still 40 painful and terrible minutes to go. All the way home she kept saying how much I must hate her and think she's a bad mother, which incidentally she'd been saying over and over again for the last hour. I spend some of my spare time helping people who suffer from depression and other issues and I realise a chronic lack of self-esteem when I see it, but you CANNOT do anything about this when they're drunk.

    I finally got her home, stupidly agreed to go in with her, then she shoved me on the settee, sat on me and tried to snog me, by which point I'd had quite enough and buggered off so fast I had to actually stop myself from running.

    EDIT: When I got home my brother was watching a strange but very likeable American painter called Bob Ross. It's not been a good night when the best part of your date was getting home in time to see the last five minutes of Bob Ross painting a mountain with a log cabin right in the middle of the scene for some reason.

    So that was my Friday night. Please join Plenty of Fish and you might have many more experiences like mine!

    1. Show previous comments  11 more
    2. Eris

      Eris

      MajorRawne said:

      It's like turning up to watch Muse and getting Matt Bellamy's little brother on lead vocals, or his grandma coming out to play the banjo and singing world war 2 songs...


      If you'd want anyone else as Muse's lead vocals it would be Chris. Although I do believe I heard somewhere there is AT LEAST one song on the next album where this is the case.

    3. Super Jamie

      Super Jamie

      A mate of mine has met most of his girlfriends via dating websites.

      Invariably, they turn out to be absolutely insane.

      Internet - not for girls.

    4. Bucket
  9. Hi, perhaps not the place to post this stuff but I've got an interview with the Games Workshop tomorrow as trainee store manager. Feel free to wish me luck or curse me for a fool etc. I am rather nervous and may need incontinence underpants.

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. Technician

      Technician

      MajorRawne said:

      'including finding out if it's possible to write a novel set in the Doom universe.'

      I don't know, you have some big shoes to fi-- OK I can't keep a straight face.

    3. MajorRawne

      MajorRawne

      I promise not to call my characters Flynn or Arlene. MW is not better than Doom, nobody will be playing it 20 years after its release. in fact I don't even know what the original CoD: MW was.

    4. DuckReconMajor

      DuckReconMajor

      I'm not saying it's better than Doom. Just that most people around here have a biased hatred toward it, even though it's one of the most Doom/Quakelike modern AAA shooters out today.

  10. When I get a racing game I always tend to go for normal, average front-wheel drive saloons (sedans) and do them up. I usually hate using RWD sports cars except for the Honda NSX.

    In GT2 my main cars are a Honda Prelude, Peugeot 406 and Nissan Primera estate (station wagon), all modified into their racing versions.

    In fact I recently spent 800 points downloading new motor packs for Forza 3 mainly to get the Peugeot RCZ (which I later realised was available as a free download) and the Vauxhall Insignia VXR.

    I believe other people would be more interested in the Ferraris and Aston Martins that are also available in these packs.

    Does anyone else prefer the less powerful, ordinary cars to all the "dream" cars in their racing game?

    Or am I setting my sights in the gutter, when they should be in the bright constellations of Maserati and Lotus?

    1. Show previous comments  21 more
    2. 40oz

      40oz

      Kirby said:

      TAXI DRIVER 2 FTFW


      What the fuck is taxi driver? Do you mean Crazy Taxi? Oh god i really hope you do.

    3. stewboy

      stewboy

      I play and recommend TrackMania United.

    4. wildweasel

      wildweasel

      I'm actually a Forza 3 man myself, mainly for the paint kit, but when GT5 gets cheaper I might get that solely on principle that it has the Top Gear test track.

      I enjoy making stylish-looking cars. My car of choice at the moment is my '61 Jaguar E-type which I've painted to look like Austin Powers' Shaguar.

      That's to say nothing of the fact that I absolutely suck at driving (I insist on turning off just about all of the driving assists except for half of the racing line, so it'll only tell me when I should be braking).

  11. Listen to this! I've been having a crap time lately cos of some so-called friends, right, so I was happy when things seemed to be turning around this afternoon.

    I got a Facebook friend request from a gorgeous girl who said we used to know each other 13 years ago, and she's been trying to get back in touch ever since. She said she used to find me attractive and never thought she had a chance with me. (Considering we live about 100 miles apart, she might be right.)

    So we were chatting and she was properly gushing about how excited she was to be back in touch with me etc. You can imagine what a boost this is, after all women don't usually bother to do stuff like this, especially the pretty ones. It's normally down to the bloke to do the donkey work. (That's equal rights for you!)

    So I was looking through her photos and I was "You're really pretty", and she said I looked "Sweet" in my pics. I made a joke: "Uh-oh, sweet, that's girl speak for unattractive!"

    It turns out I was right. Her reply was "I don't think you're ugly." And then she told me she thought I was gay.

    I hit the "Remove from friends" button so hard my laptop imploded and formed a miniature black hole.

    So that's how my self esteem was stepped on this weekend. Tune in next week, when I become an emo kid and write some dark poetry!

    1. Show previous comments  73 more
    2. geo

      geo

      May 31st is National Delete Facebook Day.

    3. Craigs

      Craigs

      Hellbent said:

      dude, what is your problem?


      faggots like you obviously and all the other faggots on this forum.

    4. MajorRawne

      MajorRawne

      It is getting a bit toilet-oriented. The initial problem in the thread has been sorted out.

      Oh and as for the real-life friends I mentioned that I was having trouble with, one of them is ok now and we are back to almost normal. The other one was a total wanker and his girlfriend is quite literally his bitch. I'll explain further tomorrow when I can be bothered.

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