Single Status Update
How are you, gentlemen!
I am having some relationship issues, so naturally, instead of talking them through with my girlfriend, I'm going on the Doomworld forum!
I've been seeing a girl for about six weeks. I really like her. She's got a kind heart, she's extremely loving and she is much more into me than anyone I've ever been out with. But it's getting a bit much. As an aspie, I am not really used to having close romantic relationships and I need a bit of space to process everything that happens when we are together. (This is not the same as the "I need space" excuse people use to end a relationship.)
In a good way, she has turned my life into a bit of a carnival, life is never dull when she's around, she is funny and quirky, it's just that she lives quite a long way from me, life can be a bit TOO exciting when she gets involved, she wants to see me a lot and she calls me several times a day. Sometimes I can't get things done because we're on the phone - she rang as I was taking my trousers down for a dump today. Our conversations can be LONG, eg 90 minutes or more, and I'm often doing something when she calls. I nearly shat myself today.
She has inspired me to get writing again and stick at it; she is going to brush up on Doom mapping to help me get my Panophobia maps done; in short, she is everything I've ever dreamed of in a woman, I just don't always feel I can hack the pace.
So is it me being selfish or a ponce? Or should I find a way to tell her I need some processing time? But how can I tell her this without upsetting her or making her think I want to split up?
EDIT: Sorry, I meant to post this in Blogs to start with.
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Aspergers is not a real thing. It's a lack of social skills; nothing more. They might as well assess you as being skinny and unable to bench press 85 pounds and label that a condition as well.
But what really blows my mind is that some people voluntarily diagnose themselves with this fake disease and wear the aspie label with pride. I guess there's nothing like believing you have a condition to absolve you of responsibility of actually improving yourself.
I've remained on the fence about this for a long time mainly because I know many people with Asperger's apparently and I really can't see what the fuck is supposed to be "wrong" with them. I've never been diagnosed with it but I did once ask a friend whom I know was diagnosed an Aspie what the symptoms were and I remember thinking to myself about how I've been going through the same shit for years as they described it to me. Didn't have a lot of friends, was a shut in for years, therefore I developed a huge lack of social skills for the longest time. I literally no reason to have a lot sociability. In my opinion its something environmentally caused for me and others...not something inherent in genetics.
It's not this majorly life destroying thing that some people make it out to be, and I'm really not even sure how it got put into the Autism spectrum of disorders either. Social situations make you clam up and closeness with people weirds you out and makes you anxious sometimes to the point to where you need to leave the situation for a moment. You know for years I thought this was (and in all seriousness IS) quite normal. I can see how for some it can disrupt their lives, but I don't feel that it was right to label social awkwardness its own outright mental illness. I feel that's just laziness on the part of psychological community really because the real issue may lie in a completely different anxiety related disorder.
Just my opinion though. Don't shoot me over it.
You gotta be able to say "hey babe (honey, sweety, whatever cute pet name you've assigned her), I'm in the middle of something right now, can I call back after?". Heck, tell her you're pooping. Women love that sort of intimacy. It even helps if you describe the texture and magnitude of the poop. Assign cute pet names to your poops, and tell her to "wish you luck" before you get off the phone. This is how relationships work.