Single Status Update
Hi all, I am starting medication for ADHD this week, most likely Strattera. I have struggled all my life with severe anxiety, racing speech, racing thoughts, inability to focus or concentrate, outbursts of energy with accompanying weird/immature behaviour, etc etc.
Well now it's been given a label, and I'm glad of that, because it has helped me to make sense of a lot of things. Labels can be extremely helpful at times.
In the past I've been variously diagnosed with depression, dysthymia, general anxiety disorder, attachment disorder and so on. But none of it seemed realistic: I had no reason to be any of these things, and when I started treatment for them, they tended to clear up straight away (except for anxiety, which has been severe and lifelong).
My executive functioning (how my brain works) is impaired to a level normally seen in people with brain damage.
I've been told that ADHD medication will clear up much of my anxiety, make me feel comfortable in my own skin and massively improve my concentration, confidence, productivity and ability to hold down relationships. It could reduce my cognitive impairment by such a degree that I will no longer even be classed as impaired (quite an improvement from "brain damaged"). I've also been told the improvements usually start from day one.
Unfortunately, I am dreading the potential side effects. In fairness, people who abuse it, which I won't, tend to get the really bad ones. My therapist is convinced I won't have any, or they won't be severe. I guess this is anxiety's last throw of the dice, hoping to scare me off before I take a medication that will destroy its hold on me.
So on Thursday morning I will take my Strattera, and it will either help me to realise my dreams, or it won't.
Wish me luck.
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Morning, gents. I would like to start off by saying, holy feth, strattera works. I'm only on a 10mg dose, but it quickly makes me feel calmer and has a gentle, almost loving feel as it guides my thoughts down a single channel, so that I'm not thinking five things at once or hearing repetitive music.
Its effects are mild so far, with no negative effects, except that I can tell when it wears off as I become a bit more chaotic and anxious.
I have become far more confident, I was able to look my best friend Amy in the eyes for the first time and when I remarked that I never knew she had brown eyes, she came to sit next to me so I could look at them properly. I have been much chattier with strangers and I feel a sense that a nicer side of me has come out of its cage. I'm trying to make sure these are permanent improvements and not just the buzz of starting a new medication. I am a lot more confident around women and have become flirtier, more direct but more intelligent in the way I handle other people.
I can also understand my own thoughts and feelings a lot more and have had some surprises, all beneficial. It is early days yet and I am lacking any sense of laser-focus, and I still have a lot to work through myself or in therapy, but to say this is only day three, I have definitely, definitely benefitted from the medication.
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