Single Status Update
Well, this is just peachy. Who'd of thought that so much would change so quickly? So, Friday night was the QU dance here at Macalester (QU = Queer Union). I originally wasn't planning to go, but I ended up being dragged down there. I did get to wear drag, though, so it was a bit fun, nonetheless. Okay, so QU is this massive orgy of sex and alcohol, centered around the dance itself. Well, I went, the music sucked, I don't drink, and I didn't get any, so it was no fun. So, we leave, and my friends all decide to get drunk, so I clear out, 'cause I hate drunks. Well, I had a revelation that night. My friends do not need me. I'm a tag-along. Sure, they like me, but if I'm not there, they don't miss me. So therefore, I've decided to drop them and move on. This probably sounds a bit extreme, but I feel it has to be done. I'm not putting up with this sham-friendship crap anymore. It's hurtful to my self-esteem, for one thing. I had this same problem in high school, by the way. Ugh, I thought after I had dealt with that, I'd never have that happen again. Oh well.
So, yeah, I'm kind of friendless for the moment, but I do have a couple of people left here that I can still call my friends. This is a rather odd state of affairs. I mean, the group isn't at all aware of this yet, and I doubt they'd understand or care if they did know. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do at this point, but I've got a start at least. God, I'm so melodramatic.
Anyways, I've gotten in contact with one of my old friends from home, and I think at this point she's the only thing keeping me sane. Speaking of which, I desperately want to e-mail another friend from back home, but I cannot seem to be able to write anything. It's like I have absolutely nothing to say. The thing is, last year, I could write her five-page e-mails without even thinking about it. Now I just seem to have a horrible case of writer's block.
One odd thing, for QU I got my nails painted, and they still are, and I actually like it. They're like this shiny bronze-ish gold-ish color, and I just love how shiny they are. Okay, I have got to stop obsessing over my nails.
Finally, as usual, I have the lack of girlfriend issue. Part of the problem is I can't imagine there being some girl out there who would actually want to go out with me. I have plenty of friends who are girls, but no girlfriends. Oh well, it really isn't bothering me as much as usual at the moment. Now I'm gonna go off and contemplate my weird existance.
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My group of friends actually never drink. None of us have. I don't think you need to "live a little" and drink to have friends. We're proof of that. Even when I'm with people who do drink, it doesn't really bother the situation that I don't drink.
As for the drag...There are quite a few girls who seem to like that. I just wish I knew them :(