Single Status Update
Hey. I don't know if anyone remember the post I posted some years ago or else use this
For the past 2 years I have been emotional out of balance, the breakup made a huge impact on my life. You could say I simply watched the 3½-4 relationship in a few hours by watching it in my inner mind. All the memories that got lost by a few days, I couldn't handle it. Seriously I have no idea what happened, I know many things happened that last half year. I have tried to move on, but I haven't really moved on for real.
This first part leds to why I write this blog post. Yesterday I received a message from her (through her new bf's account) on facebook. She told me she had got engaged, got a son and she was going to enter the school I am at (but hopefully just till august). I just hoped I wouldn't run into her, but I guess the past runs after you. :S
I know I should be happy for her, but still... I feel like I am still just standing here without any purpose in my life. All the emotional crap she has caused me and she is so fast to build up a family. Hell, I am just a single loser living in a small flat, at least I feel myself like a loser. I have tried to figure out who I am and finding a new girlfriend, but it has felt like the hardest problem of all. I have no idea how to find a new one, I guess my emotional problems always scare people off.
I am not good to break out of my routine and try new stuff. Most of my life I have wished to get thin and handsome, but I have never really tried to do that seriously. I am trying to figure out what to do after I am done with my school in august, I am thinking of entering something to help me with my problems.
I need to do something as I am just sitting here alone most of the time, I guess I have always been a loner. I feel sometimes if I should drop computers, any hobby that is nerdy to get a more social life. But of course I enjoy my hobbies and I guess I should be able to have a life with them. I just feel like I get stuck in my own world here...
Thanks for reading, I know it is just a long rant about myself.
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Man, 2 years going through this is not healthy.
You seem to know all the bad steps you took and all the things that you did wrong and continue to do wrong. The next step is changing them.
Everything in relationships is a learning experience, not necessarily in what TO do or look for, but at least what NOT to do and stay away from.
Take the bad things that have happened and grow from that to become a better person.
You gotta work on your own shit before the relationship pieces will fall into place. Once you're doing something you love and have happy with yourself the right person will appear.
I'd love to drill this in to bible-thumpers and other fucktards that think that if you aren't married by 22 or have some ditsy bint on your dick, that you're a failure, or gay, or whatever derogatory shit they can spew. And then they wonder why the Divorce Rate is so high in the Bible Belt. Disgusts me.