Single Status Update
Well, I TRIED to sleep all day today, but the world wouldn't leave me alone.
When I woke up an hour or so ago, I couldn't get back to sleep. There's some really annoying "ping" sound that is driving me insane. It sounds like water hitting against a pan over and over and over again, but I can't find out where it's coming from. It sounds like it's coming from outside but all the usual sounds outside drown it out unless I'm in my room. So now, I can't get to sleep.
Not that I could even if I wanted to, because my mother just called to say she's coming to spend the day with me. Hooray... For those of you who don't know my mom, she got permission from her officer to come down here because she's on probation from a DWI. Not to mention she's in her late 40s, acts like a 15 year old, smokes, drinks, smokes marijuana, and snorts coke. I moved away from home because of her, and she calls and says she's already on her way, so I can't say "Um, I'm busy this weekend..."
Shortly after my mom calls, my dad calls. How he got my number I don't know. He says he misses me and wants to hang out sometime, maybe next weekend, and to call him. That's great! My dad only hasn't called me in... I guess a year or so. And probably three years before that. He's a drunk-ass alcoholic in his 50s who just had a kid with his new girlfriend. And, on top of that, even though I'm a girl he LOVES to take me fishing. I guess his old girlfriends always loved fishing... and beer guzzling.
It's just one of those days... Share your horrible experiences with the rest of us. At least you can get it off your chest, I suppose.
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Anyway perhaps I'm in the weird minority who actually likes his parents. They've always provided for me, expensive education and endless stuff besides. I'm really very grateful. God knows what I would have turned out like without their influence.
Oh, I'm incredibly grateful for my parents. I know that they've been extremely supportive even though I've been a huge dick at times, and I'm lazy and never do any work for them. Hell, my mom did all of my laundry for me until I got to high school. And yet, there are times where I really think I hate them.
But meh, I'm much much luckier than a lot of people, and I should remember that.
Yeah, I'm blessed with this great conscience that reminds me of that EVERY TIME I start bitching about something trivial.
Hey, I'd love to go shopping for shoes with a girl. Well boots at least.
As for my parents, I'm indifferent toward them. I mean, they let me do whatever I wanted my entire life. I guess this is good, but like I now have no morals or social skills, so I'm starting to suffer for it.
And as for how my life is going, it ain't so good. You see, back in the summer I signed up for school because I figured I needed something to work on to cure my boredom and depression. I thought also that by taking music courses, I could improve my chances of working in the music industry or something. Unfortunately, you cant really take the courses you want in college. This didn't really bother me because at least a few of the courses I'd be taking had to do with the career I want. Still, I have to take math and English classes. And thats where I am today.
My math class is insanely easy to the point where all I have to do is take the tests and I get A's on them. I don't know why I even come to class. But English, that shit is really fuckign with me. I am assigned about 2 or three homework assignemnts a night, which is like 4 hours of homework at least. The papers are the worst part. I mean, I have no problem with just writing on and on about something (as you can see here), but we always have to write about a certain something, often somethign I never put any thought into. I can hardly get out enough material to fill the 2-3 page quota. So half my time is spent either doing homework, or trying to think of something to write. The rest of the time I'm too tired to do anything. I havent been able to work on my stuff for my Recording Techniques class, which is my favorite class of what I'm taking, and I fear I am now failig it. Also, I haven't been able to talk to any of my friends for over a month, so my social health is failing as well. On Friday I just said fuck it and went to the Mall to talk with them, and this weekend I'm in a 'Fuck School' mood. I have a rough draft on a paper due tomorrow, and I don't really know if I want to do it. Which brings me to another point.
You see, I HAVE to finish school and pass because if I dont, then my mom has wasted $800 on me. I don't really want to have to pay that back either, because though I want to get a job as soon as I can, I want to be spending it on getting a start on my life. I don't think school can help me get a career as a musician. The only way I can do that is for me to buy myself a keyboard, synthesizer, and some other stuff so I can start getting some real practise in. You know, I really wish I could get a job NOW because this is the only time of the year jobs are actualy available. The economy around here is horrible, so you have to wait for the holiday rush to get a temporary job if you want one at all. And November is when they hire. But I cant fucking get a job because I need to finish school. Looks like I won't be getting a job for another fucking year. Shit, I'm so fucking stupid for wanting to go to college.