Single Status Update
Who would have thought an gargantuan retarded would cause the "unofficial" blogs forum to be one of the most used forums on Doomworld? What started as a forum where people give personal updates is now turning in to a spammers paradise almost equal in scale to Post Hell, except minus teh funney (well, apart from the gargantuan retarded thread and darknation's always-funny comics).
So just to bore the fuck out of you forum trolls, I've decided to give an overview of the happenings concerning myself outside of the internet.
Work's starting to get a bit full on, except I'm wasting my time making sure the game works properly instead of actually doing something productive. I always try to code as if I was coding a data-customisable system, and as a result I've made alot of the things I work on data driven. This has a two-faced benefit in the form of a reduced workload. More data driven equals less code, which gives me not as much actual coding to do. It makes things easier for coding, but what do I do with my time? I spend alot of my time making sure the data has been entered correctly of course. A level builder comes up with a problem, so I have to work through it, and most of the time its because the data has been set up wrong. Sometimes they discover a minor bug in the code, which is easy enough to fix. Actual hardcore coding is few and far between.
Enter the 48 hour coding competition. Work hasn't been challenging me, so I decided to see if I could actually get a game working from scratch in 48 hours. The last time I tried to speed program was about 5 years ago. Back then, it took me 6 days to get a Pac-Man clone working in QBASIC, and even then I used a pre-existing code base in the form of my Diamond Dash Special Edition code (the original edition used ASCII symbols as graphics and was my high school coding project for the programming course I did). I started at the stroke of midnight on the Friday night, and decided to call it quits at 10pm on the Sunday night. You Doomworlders can't tell me you didn't download the entry, as the page statistics on Geocities tell me that the most popular downloaders came from Doomworld :P Compared to the other entries, it has a very real chance of obtaining first place. Voting hasn't commenced yet. If I had my way, one of the other entries would get first place (Ignorador, a bird management simulation, quite addictive). I entered the competition thinking that I was doing it to see if I could. In retrospect, I'm wondering whether I did it to show what I am capable of if given freedom and a time limit. Either way, I couldn't care less if there is a prize.
There is also another reason why I chose to enter the 48 hour programming competition that I found out about 28 hours before hand. Devoting my mind to something like that would leave little room for other thought. Thoughts involving my ex in particular. If you think about it, the situation with my ex is somewhat pathetic - she was my first and only girlfriend, it only lasted 10 days, and I've never been able to truly get over her. I can push her out of my head long enough to take notice of someone else, which will then comsume my thoughts, but that always ends on a down note. In retrospect, I know when I've gotten over someone because I start thinking of my ex again. I always manage to push aside those thoughts using the usual reasons - "nothing's ever going to happen again" and such. When I went to Sydney over the new year break though, I managed to find proof against those thoughts. Much kissing happened on new years day and the day after. We're not back together though. She's currently not sure she wants to be in a relationship of any kind, but she did promise to think about my wanting a serious relationship.
In my experience, that's just a way for a girl to say "I don't have the heart to tell you no right now," but I trust her so I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt. I'm currently going crazy trying to work out what she'll say about it. The price I pay for loving someone though is that I don't get to be with them, so I'm pretty sure the answer will be no. Going from that, I'm working out the possible reasons for the no answer. There's the reasons she could give concerning herself - she's disillusioned with relationships; she doesn't trust herself in a relationship - and then there's reasons involving me. She's always said she likes me just the way I am, but just the way I am is now just the way I was. I have changed over the past two and a half years since I moved state. She has noticed that. I have no idea whether she likes or dislikes the changes, and whether that would have an outcome on the whole situation.
I'll be going down to Sydney again in a couple of weeks time for my brother's 21st, and of course I'll be seeing her while I'm down there. Hopefully I should be able to get the answer while I'm down there. I won't have enough energy left for the whole relationship thing after this if it ends out as it always does, so it's just a matter of waiting. One of my changes over the past six months is that I've been gradually separating my emotional and non-emotional mindsets as a way of clearing my mind of all that stuff. This situation will either see the process complete itself or reverse itself. I'm not sure which one will be the better alternative.
There you have it. Blogged to the maxxx!!!