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About Ledillman

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  1. This tends to happen sometimes.
    When i'm dreaming about my father I tend to wake up with tears, mainly because the end of those dreams are always just sad as hell for me.

    My dad died some time ago from cancer (If i recall correctly), it was very shocking for me, I remember very ell stading at his side in the hospital while he passed away and I could not believe it. Most of that sadness that I felt was because I was remembering the time I didn't spend with him, and the way he looked weeks and probably months before his death (very skinny and with some bad humour) and because he liked to be alone... or so I thought.

    2 nights before I dreamed about my father, he was in his bedroom with some cards (he really loved poker!) and when I saw him i was like about to cry when he called me and asked me if I wanted to play with him. I said yes.
    We played and talked a lot, it was very emotional, because we talked about when I was a little kid and we played and talked (we rarely talked the past 2 years before he died, but I started talking to him more months before), I don't know why, but instead of common lights we were using some candles. At the end of the dream the candles were about to fade when he asked for a hug, and then we hug each other. I recall waking up and remembering everything and started to cry a lot.
    So i'm not sure what it does mean... it seems that I really wanted to apologize and said hoy much I loved him, but I can do it only in my dreams.

    I don't recall having a funny or good dream about my dad, they're always sad.

    In other news, I think it's time to start mapping again to distract myself.

    1. AndrewB


      I understand quite well how dreams can mess you up for days afterwards. And it becomes a self-reinforcing chain reaction.

    2. 40oz


      last week I had a dream where this kid Jake from elementary school and I went to a concert or something, loud music, lots of people, lots of fun. Then we went to a bar afterwards, drank a little, had some deep conversations, then went back to his place and played video games for some hours. We had a damn good night, until I woke up. It was quite the man-date.

      I obviously didn't realize this in the dream, but shortly after I woke up I had recalled that Jake died in a car accident several years ago, shortly after graduating high school. I've known him for many years but we were never much more than mere acquaintances. Besides having a few small-talk convos on the school bus or being in a few classrooms together, I never really spent any time with him outside of school. I didn't really feel any sadness or remorse or anything when I woke up. I was just kinda bewildered by the idea that were besties in my dream. I'm not really friends with any of his friends, and I don't even remember hearing his name brought up at all for the last five years or so. He was definitely a cool and easy-going guy, so I suppose his friendship was a missed opportunity.

      I'm sure its much more moving when it involves someone you love, but yeah, dreams about people who've passed are crazy.