Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Hellbent

Members
  • Content count

    5604
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Hellbent

  • Rank
    Forum Bellend

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Single Status Update

See all updates by Hellbent

  1. Nonny: "I'm not gonna bother to die. It's too much trouble! Why do I have to prepare my own funeral!?"

    Wow, so while sometimes I think it's inappropriate or disrespectful for me to document my grandparents with my iPhone, tonight I'm glad I captured what I did, because I actually got some pretty interesting stuff, and upon watching it back gained a little insight. Often, the footage is not too insightful as it's usually nebulous at best, with Fa going on tangents with lots of abstract generalizations and zero specifics, but tonight it was Nonny, out of left field, that offered up some gems.

    After Johnny came back from his 3 mile walk in the 9 degrees with wind and snow, to route 41, Nonny started to go on about a wake. At first I just thought it was more nonsense from the nonsense factory (the overactive pineal gland?), but then it became clear what she was talking about. She urgently implored if there were any clear thinkers that could help her think. So, naturally I volunteered, thinking I had some kind of advantage over her and Fa. She starts going on again about a wake: "What do we do if we've scheduled a wake and you haven't died yet!?" (referring to Fa) so I say "cancel the wake, I guess!" and Fa laughs. Then I ask if Fa's destiny was interrupted by John collecting him off the road, which made Fa a bit uncomfortable, with him finally saying: "How can I say anything but 'no!'". But, if you want to look at it on one level, the guy walks out into the frigid cold with no idea where he is going (nothing about New York, nothing about visiting friends or colleagues or anyone) and makes great distance in a short period of time. Even with accurate GPS monitoring on our iPhones he managed to get as far afield as he did before we found him! Nonny, however, also didn't think Fa's destiny was interrupted. Who, though, is wise enough to know when one's time is truly nigh? Just some musings as they may relate to what came next....

    Nonny: "The wake! It's happening soon!"
    Me: "Whose wake?!"
    Nonny: with an expression like come on, don't play stupid: "both of ours -- a double wake". A look of slight confusion mixed with Oh, is that so! comes over Johnny's face.
    Me: "When are the funerals, Nonny? Because you and Johnny are still alive..."
    Nonny didn't hear the question properly, but by the end of the evening it became clear she was worrying about who was arranging her funeral and wake, and why wasn't the phone ringing off the hook with people inquiring where and when the wake was going to be held, since she, and Johnny, too, were both dead.

    At dinner, Nonny, in great distress, suddenly blurts out "I feel I am dead already!" or something to the effect. John asked to see my phone so I stopped recording and of course missed the key moment. Shortly after, John reassured her she wasn't dead and then she said: "I don't think I'm dead, either." And then a dawning realization seemed to wash over her and she started shaking her head and tapping herself on the head with her hand and laughing in spite of herself and then started to say something, "I've been arrange..." but then trailed off, thinking better of it. Upon watching the video back, I realize now what she was thinking: what a silly fool I've been, trying to arrange my own wake and funeral and I'm not even dead yet! She then asked Johnny if he felt dead and he replied, rather matter of factly, if not deadpan: "No, I don't feel dead."

    It's kind of funny to hypothetically think about someone who knows Nonny well, but unaware of tonight's episodes, unwittingly making a joke about how "Nonny is always worrying about something and whether things are being taken care of, to the point where one day she will probably be worrying about the arrangement of her own funeral and wake!" Don't worry, Nonny, when the time comes, you won't have to worry about arranging your own (or Fa's) wake and funeral. That will be at least one thing in your life, others, (specifically your daughter), will shoulder the full burden of, and everyone will be there.

    About ten minutes after John brought Nonny around to realizing that she is still in fact alive, she lapses into thinking she is dead again.

    Earlier, Fa, soberly reflecting on his 3 mile afternoon walk in the frigid cold, said "Where ever I go it seems I can't help but create some kind of problem." Nonny replies: "You're going to the prom? That's nice."

×