Hellbent

Drunk blog #329 (this one's good).

Drunken night in lower east side. I was hanging out with some gay guys and their female friends. These were the same people I met a couple weekends ago in a Karaoke bar (not sure if I mentioned them in my last blog post). One of the gay guys isn't quite out of the closet, and kept buying me drinks. I was pretty wasted. The bouncer was very nice, giving me directions on what subway and stops Jimmy, my buddy visiting from Boston who was in New York to see the Cotto/Forman fight, should take from Yankee Stadium. Towards the end of the evening (morning?) I repeatedly failed to successfully pull open the door to step outside the club. Nevertheless, the bouncer remained on friendly terms with me and told me I could go back into the bar if I acted normal (this is after 3am). Everyone was relatively nice throughout the evening, so I guess my guard was down.

The guys went home, I declined their offer to go back to their place (you'll remember, I'm straight). James and I went to the subway to go back to Brooklyn Heights where we were crashing at my friend's place. We go down to the platform but we don't recognize any of the stops. I'm too drunk to be bothered to go back to the street and figure out the right subway station, so we wander around the platform trying to figure it out. Eventually we decide to take the subway. On the train I don't recognize any of the stops, except Borough Hall, so we get off at Borough Hall / Jay Street. No idea where Jay street is. On the subway platform after exiting we wander around trying to figure out where we are. I start to talk to some black teenagers, just cause I'm drunk and felt like chatting. One girl apparently had stolen some chips from a vendor. I guess she tried to make it look like I stole them. These kids were from a different class bracket and were trying to get me in trouble. I wasn't really paying attention to this fact. I was in a nice mood and figured there's no harm in making conversation. One of the girls asks me for a dollar. I responded as if she was out of bounds: "what, are you a bum? I'm not giving you a dollar." At that, she and her friends started mildly taunting me, throwing pencils and things at me. I found this amusing. Jimmy didn't and kept telling me to stop talking to them, but I wasn't paying attention to him. They asked him for his water, he responded he had the herps, and they proceeded to call him a faggot.

At this point I was still oblivious to the direction things were going. I found it harmlessly amusing. Idiot teenagers, beginning and end of story. I started throwing pencils and things back at them. I was then talking to another group of black kids. I thought they were on my side about the situation, but Jimmy says they were antagonizing me. They wanted me to call them a nappy headed nigger. I didn't realize they were goading me for an excuse to kick my ass. I said "hey, that's what that radio host Imis or whatever said right?" We moved on and then suddenly wham, I get clobbered in the back of the head by a plate of fast food. The white sailor hat I left the other bar with (was someone else's hat) was stained with ketchup, as was my shirt. At this point I was just like "what the fuck" and decided there was no reason I should put up with this shit. It was the first group of kids (mainly two teenage girls) that had thrown the food at me. They started slinking down to the other end of the station like a pack of hyenas. I started running after them. They started running. I then sprinted and was gaining on them at a comically quick rate. I made as if I was gonna kick their asses but only threw an empty plastic sprite bottle at them.

At this point another group of black kids appear. I kept cursing the kids who threw the food at me, 'what the fuck is your problem', etc. and then someone from this new group of kids tells me he did it. I thought he was trying to protect the girls or something and I just respond to him like he is being an idiot for no reason: 'no you didn't, you weren't even here'. If you haven't noticed by this point, the subway platform was full of black kids--no white or other racial ethnicities were represented. All told there were about 14 kids. The latest group of kids were prolly in their early 20s. James felt the need at this point to diffuse a potentially nasty situation. Even I sensed things were getting a little dicey. He says 'hey, sorry, my friend is really drunk right now, he's being an idiot'. At that point we left up the stairs out of the subway. The original girl threw a hairbrush up at me as a last parting shot.

Overall the evening was a bust. When I had finally started chatting with a chick I found attractive in the bar we had been at all night, who is studying at Columbia, she left with her friends.