Hellbent

I dreamt I was a wanted man on the streets of Brooklyn or something, and so my friend Niko quickly gave me his dark gray, super nice shirt to put over mine and then I also noticed I had like a super fancy ring on my finger and understated but possibly high tech watch on. We went to a bar and tried to act normal, but I freaked out at one point when a man looked at me and I thought he was an undercover agent trying to get me. I then resumed "acting normal" as if I hadn't just acted super suspiciously and no one apprehended me. The make over really seemed to be working. 

Later in my dream I was driving Niko's BM1 X1 and I guess it was a mix of rain and sleet out or something but I thought the roads were just wet. I went around the turn by Smiley's pond a little bit fast, but I was thinking, "it's a BMW, it can handle it no problem" and right after that thought finished the wheels slipped and the car went straight off the road and clipped a sappling before the wheel's found grip again and I was able to careen back onto the road without doing any damage to the car.

Zugzug. 

I just woke up from a dream where I was back at school but I was a lousy student. There was one class I was taking but I didn't even really know what it was on. I guess I wasn't really paying attention and I was sort of fumbling my way through it. There were short papers we had to write or take home quizzes we had to fill out or something. There was one homework assignment where we had to answer questions about Doom and I had just gotten my homework back and I was looking at the grades and I got a B on it. And I was thinking to myself... "how the hell do I get a B on an assignment about Doom???" This is a really sad state of affairs. I probably shouldn't be in school. I looked at one of the answers to one of the questions (there was only like 4 questions on the quiz or something) and one of the questions was something like "on which skill levels are there soul spheres" and I had answered on the back of the quiz in large all caps with great confidence ALL OF THEM but that wasn't correct, because some levels apparently had added soul spheres on easier skill levels and I was thinking to myself if the question had been anything else other than skill levels I would have known the answer but since I only play on -skill 4 how I was to know that?

It's actually not that infrequent that I dream that I am back at school. Sometimes it's a recurring dream (takes place in the same building/class rooms) but often the dreams are different enough in setting/content that I wouldn't quite consider them recurring dreams (just similar dreams). I'm usually quite lost in them, struggling with the assignments, not understanding the course work/how to write the papers etc.

The strangest thing just happened in my Angband game. And I mean strange. So strange, I'm not sure I'll even be able to explain it clearly.

So I'm playing my game, I'm on DL85 I think, and CL50, I'm mulling over gear setup, and finally make my decision on what I'm dropping from my pack. I tab-switch to file folder and delete another video I recorded (my external drive stopped working). Let me be clear, I did not close Angband. I tab-switch back to the game and the most strangest thing has transpired. The game now shows me on DL72, CL46, in a situation I remember very clearly because I had been recording this earlier and there was a very odd glitch in the recording at this precise point in the past (which you can find on my YT channel). The glitch came about because I accidentally swapped between Angband and another app while recording, and the recording app kept recording the audio of the game but failed to display Angband properly (the video portion of the recording was stuck on the exact same scene as my game has mysteriously just reverted to now). But that's not the strangeness I am here to report on. The strangeness is... why am I suddenly playing Angband from the past?? Stranger yet, all my sub-windows (the ones that tell me what just happened, monsters and treasure near by) are still the DL85/CL50 windows that just happened even though the main window is clearly showing game state from DL72, CL46! I am completely boggled, flummoxed. :eek:

To ensure that Angband wasn't just displaying some false image of a past game, I do stuff in this past Angband and it all seems real, I kill the beetle again, everything appears normal in this past version of Angband, my inventory is past inventory (when I press 'I', even though the objects-near-by-sub-window show 'true present' DL50 objects!) Stranger yet, the sub-window that shows my inventory shows my present inventory, not the past inventory, so 'I' inventory is showing objects I possessed in this past state, and the window'd inventory is showing what I am holding in the true present!

Seriously, folks, stranger things have not happened.... 

Now I don't know what to do. I'm afraid if I close Angband it will save the game in this past state and I'll lose all my recent progress. If I force quit Angband I'll have to replay the level I just played again (as I am not sure I saved during the level). I suppose the latter is my best option, but I really don't want to replay the level as there were nasty sky dragons I killed and an annihilation dragon and two undead pits including black reavers and none of them did any significant harm to me. I'm sure I will not be so lucky replaying the level. /sigh

To recap: so not only is it strange that the game is suddenly in a past (passed?) state, but it's at precisely the same point in my game's history when it glitched making a screen recording. 

How did the game ninja-load a previous state? Where would such a previous state be saved? Doesn't Angband continuously overwrite past game states each time it autosaves at the start of a level or when I save the game manually?

If anyone feels like positing some theories on this extremely strange situation, (and advice on how I might be able to get back to the true present in my game) I would be very appreciative of any help. Thanks!

EDIT: Coinciding with this I just noticed that Google Chrome reloaded a bunch of tabs it had mysteriously disappeared earlier (Chrome does this from time to time after I've closed my laptop and open it later). So I had only 3 tabs open before going to bed, but now I'm just noticing that all those old tabs that mysteriously had all disappeared are all back now. I notice the old tabs not because visually I see all the tabs, I noticed they were old tabs because I'm reading Harry Potter in one of the tabs and was scratching my head just now as to why the page I was just reading from three chapters ago (I had already read this part). 

So, yeah, not only has the main window of my game reverted to the past, but my browsing tabs have as well. I wonder if these two passed (past?) versions of computational reality are at the same point in the past? Anyway, this seems more like a glitch in my computer (or in The Matrix) rather than in Angband. 

Dear Matrix,
I would like my present back, thanks!

Just woke from one of the strangest dreams I've ever had. It wasn't quite as jumbled a mess like most abstract/weird dreams. It was just really creepy.

I'm not even sure where to start. We were on some kind of field trip? I was back at college or something? It felt like college + summer camp. But something very strange was going on. Very strange. There was intermingled with the main dream almost what you might call a side dream or a reality split where I was actually working, had two of my clients (people with disabilities) with me and only realized sort of after everything went down when I was trying to tell my siblings about what happened that I realized I shouldn't have had them doing the stuff I was doing in the dream.

The chronology of events is hazy. In the side dream there was a camp fire but it was indoors in a large... something of a utility closet or something, and that fire got a bit out of control in someway, because I was giving my clients a bit too much free reign, I was letting one of them tend the fire and put stuff on it? (Details on that are fuzzy).

There was also some kind of tech room at the university that we went into, with some AI machines (advanced computers that weren't quite robots but had sophisticated AI) or something... that went a bit awry. Here there was perhaps overlap of the side dream to the main dream since this room of mysterious tech gone bad felt directly related to the main plot of the main dream. Somehow related to this tech room were actual robots zooming around that were creepy as fuck, in the sort of way a really well done horror movie is creepy.

The robots were these aerodynamic silver things flitting around the college/camp/campus thing we were at. They looked a little bit like giant silverfish, but minus any legs or appendages and they were much larger, about 4 to 6 inches in length (and perhaps even bigger than that). But what they were nobody knew, and they were creating some really weird shit to happen.

I can't really remember the weird stuff that was happening. I do clearly remember that most everyone there at the college/camp/festival thing were completely ignoring what was going on, and I guess just thought we were crazy; either they didn't realize what was going on or they were in denial... I'm not sure.

I remember at some point in an attempt to escape the silver slitherers my friends and I went into the woods and were trying to figure out what to do next. The AI of the silver slitherers was causing weird shit to happen. I just can't remember the details of it; so weird and creepy, though.

I do remember towards the end of the dream that one of our party (not related to my work) wasn't afraid of the silver slitherers, or at least he was very brave and decided something had to be done, and was trying to figure out what they were, where they came from and why they were terrorizing the camp/school. At one point he was trying to isolate one in a camp style bathroom and was trying to 'pin' it down in a matter of speaking; trying to figure out just what it was and what it was up to.

I couldn't bear to watch so I and the rest of us went outside. There was a terrible omen of something horrible happening: somehow we seemed to all have a similar vision or experience of an eyeball being torn out or something.

Then some staff type person of the camp/school went into the bathroom to see what all the fuss was (she was a woman, but that didn't seem to matter for her to go into the mens room). But I don't remember her acting freaked out when she saw our friend in the bathroom with the silver slitherer. I think he may have actually been okay/managed to handle the situation in there.

I do remember trying to have a conversation with someone about all the weird shit the silver slitherers were causing to happen, and how I was just getting really weird looks like I was crazy and people would just get really annoyed/tweaked out with me like I was the plague; not even acknowledging the silver slitherers existed: no one else seemed to be seeing/experiencing what my friends and I were which was basically that the silver slitherers needed to be stopped or the world and reality were going to be forever altered and fubar'd. In fact, a major recurring theme throughout the dream was this tension between everyone else and my friends and I that something seriously f'd up was going down and everyone else being in denial about it in a very standoffish/cold/harsh way towards us.

I remember how visceral and real it felt the weird shit the silver slitherers were causing to happen, and how creepy it was that other people just thought we were crazy and were completely oblivious to what was going on with the silver slitherers. 

I also remember one of my friends wanted to get back to his parents house but wanted to procrastinate the arrival time as late as possible and since I was driving him I became adamant that he could get back at any time and that we just needed to leave now. I remember feeling that there would be a sense of relief if we could just drive away from the camp and leave the silver slitherers behind, but that midst all the bedlam and chaos it was hard to gather everyone together and have a consensus about what to do next.

But then in another scene I'm flirting with a girl; or more like she was flirting with me while I'm trying to figure out if our friend in the bathroom had his eye ripped out or whether he was actually in fact more or less fine. I looked down for a moment and saw the girl I was with had an extra left leg. I told myself that must just be a momentary glitch in realty and for sure that could not be right and by the time we got back to the car she had two legs as normal. At the car was another girl I had been developing something with earlier and I got the sense she wanted me to sit next to her but I kinda wanted to sit next to the new girl I had just met and the sun was hitting me in the eyes and washing out my view when I decided to sorta squat between the two seats (the back seats were separated by a small space and were more like boat seats than car seats) while trying to decide where I was going to sit. I think the car belonged to the first girl's mother; that she was a chaperone or something. 

I really wish I could remember what the hell the silver slitherers were doing that was so problematic other than potentially murdering my friend in some horrible way in the camp-style bathroom. I guess it was more of this sense of a threat that so acutely pervaded reality; of impending doom that the silver slitherers were going to bring down upon everything. The atmosphere of everything being so freakishly fucked and beyond comprehension or control was almost feverishly thick; paranoia was constantly ramping up to near hysteria.  

It's been awhile since I've posted an infamous driving post. Don't worry, this one does not involve any sleeping.

So, as I get older, I get more boring (as most people do). For instance, I pretty much always drive the speed limit now. Well, turns out my housemate's Mini Cooper (from The Italian Job fame) was deemed totaled after he hit a dear. So it's just been sitting in the driveway, waiting to be taken away, never to be seen again. Last night his dad mentions to me that the car is still insured; why don't I take it for a spin before it's towed away tomorrow (this morning). So my housemate, who isn't really into crazy or fast driving or anything like that agrees to come along with me. 

At first I'm kinda taking it easy; it's been awhile since I've driven fast or pushed a car near its limits. I live at the base of a mountain with windy, bumpy roads. The car still has snow tires on and as I slowly ramp up the driving excitement, I find the car just doesn't seem to be at all bothered as we whip around tight corners. Some of the switch backs and hairpins are super gnarly, too. But no matter how fast I whipped it around the super tight corners, faster than what seemed physically possible, it'd hold the bumpy, sandy pavement like it was a roller coaster on rails. My friend even commented as much: "It was like being in a rollercoaster, except without the guarantee you're not going to go flying off the road any minute". 

Just as much fun was had on the dirt roads. The ruts weren't that bad, and we were bombing along a fairly straight section of dirt road up to 70mph at times (110kph), at least the couple times it even occurred to either of us to check: mostly I was lazer focused on the road since we were doing this at dusk, and my mate was mostly holding on for dear life.

The car doesn't have an analog temp gauge, and part of the goal of our joy ride was to, well, beat on the car pretty good. I had to strike the right balance of not going too crazy and crashing, which would be expensive as I've used up all my AAA tows, and not too soft, either, where we come back without any evidence that we were driving it like we stole it (or like it was about to be junked). 

Fortunately the mud got worse and I was really having to work the engine hard to keep the speed up as we squirrelled along. We got to the end of the road, but it was a dead end with a barrier (closed during the winter) so we came to a stop. Smoke was seeping out of the sides of the hood so we took a short break before turning around. At some point an orange temp light finally came on, but only momentarily. So I hit it hard again, and went back up the super steep switchback at full tilt and the car just zipped around the tight turns like it was nothing. Got the temp light to come on again, and then it turned red. Alright, now we're getting somewhere.

After that I had one more idea where we could go. I pulled into a small parking lot where, during the summer, you can drive up a gnarly dirt path to a pond, but given it was only the first day of April, the path was closed. So I hit the E-brake and did a quick turn around in the empty dirt parking lot and hit the gas.

A little description is in order before I describe what happened next. As you turn into this small dirt parking lot, it's a slight up hill and a rolling bump in the drive. I figured, shit, how often do I get a chance to get airborne? The first pass I was a bit tempered; the car got light over the bump, but we didn't really catch air. I swing around for another go. As I'm gunning it out of the parking lot I kinda gauge my speed, but I'm a little worried I'm gonna wuss out too much and we won't catch air again, so I hit the gas again and we launch. Pretty much gauged it perfectly as we got a decent amount of air time. The landing wasn't all that bad either. Not as bad as the pot hole we hit a little bit later. The car did get squirrely on the landing, though, as the left tires landed in a little leftover snow, but I was able to straighten it out quite easily and regain control. But, more importantly, no significant damage was done to keep us from continuing our joy ride. I decided to do it one more time, but not as fast, and as we land we noticed a house right across from the entrance to the parking lot with its light on. Where'd that house come from? Oh shit... I think we've attracted some attention... so we hauled out of there post haste. 

On the ride back the temp gauge would periodically come on again, and we discovered that the heat was no longer working. As I pulled up to the driveway the oil light came on. Not a moment too soon. As I stopped to back into the driveway the engine started idling very rough as if it was about to stall. My mate was like "Quick! park the car before it dies!" So I quickly threw it in reverse and parked it before it died on the road. I guess I gauged the beatdown on the car just right. :) Any more and we might not have had the luxury of returning home. Any less and I might have felt I didn't take full advantage of the situation.

Man the mini is fun! it was surprising how difficult (and a bit scary) it was trying to find the car's limit. I mean, all the car needed to be a full on rally car was upgraded shocks (and even so, it handled the bumps and jump remarkably well). 

http://greymattersjournal.com/killer-whales-are-non-human-persons/

I like your avatar :)

Where do you grind Ettins? Just curious...

I just woke from a very strange/chaotic/crazy dream. It was as if I was dreaming in twelve dimensions. I'm posting it here because my cover photo just happens to match it perfectly. Trying to explain the dream will be.. interesting.

I was being hunted, and other people I was trying to protect were being hunted, too, and the world of art was in danger. Reality itself was some kind of multidimensional art exhibit, the very existence of which was being threatened by bizarre dimensional rifts--reality was being spliced and melded--morphing--constantly transfigured. People were dying everywhere, as we were in the midst of a world war (I)? People were dying horrifying deaths in the trenches, their souls meeting tortured ends. One woman died in a central room in an auspicious building with high art all around (some building in Wash. D.C.?), and her eyes were turned up slightly toward the small murals above an entryway to the room as she died; and some nobles saw this as very auspicious for her soul, and there was a look of peace about her face, and even possibly bliss, right before life left her body. (Who was she?) But for those dying out in the noisy, chaotic horror of the trenches... they saw no such peace or bliss before their ends.

Reality was morphing and changing so rapidly that I soon saw we were no longer in the normal world. It became very difficult (impossible, really) to know what was going on, in the most fundamental terms (where am I? why was reality changing so rapidly? what is our mission again (are we at war)? why is reality changing so rapidly? What is causing the simultaneous, multidimensional overlapping? What is pursuing us?

There would be these long, black shafts with white highlights that would split reality, with many other morphing realities pealing off of the shafts, sprung into existence out of the white highlights, ever morphing, and then leaving, and then returning, but ever changing, ever coming and going into reality. But the evil pursuing us was everywhere, and we were battling it on all fronts, from all angles, and through all dimensions. And the realities of the new dimensions were so new and foreign to me, and everything was happening simultaneously, and changing so rapidly, that I lost all orientation to reality, but somehow in the chaos we were, inexplicably, able to fight on, to keep our wits, and to keep at bay that formless, dimensionally shifting force that was trying to destroy us and the world. 

At times we'd be crouched in a hallway, shooting at a formless foe that would seem to disappear as quickly as it would appear. Then we'd be running up a wide, turning staircase made of white stone, pursuing the ever-elusive enemy.

But as the multidimensional realities came crashing together simultaneously, and as things were ever speeding up, we found ourselves no longer in physical space, but constantly transmuting through the different shifting realities that were themselves transmuting; and our hands were no longer manipulating instruments of war; but instead we waged battle with our minds, which seemed to be opened up to receive the ever quickening realities and, somehow, in this way we were able to combat the swift and formless enemy. 

We found ourselves flung haplessly along the black shafts of twisting reality, swiftly swept through them and into new realities; and all around, and in all directions I could see the different dimensional planes shifting and transmuting, and it seemed as though we could dodge the enemy by quickly transferring from one dimension plane to another, and in this same way could quickly counterattack; and at times we'd be delivered up, and splintered light would, for a moment, split the gloom, and for the briefest of moments there'd be calm and clarity, and I'd feel as though somehow we had won a small victory against the void, and then we'd be plunged back into darkness and chaos, swirling desperately about, fighting as though blind, and on all fronts. But again, moving ever more quickly between the dimensions, we continued to fight the formless foe; no time to question what is, no time to try to make sense of reality (realities), no time to try to understand how to fight, or flee, no time, even, for fear or hope, except ever so fleetingly. The only option before us was to trust our ever-quickening instincts, or be blasted into oblivion; and in our perceiving of each new reality, the faster things were happening, the more we had to let go and receive the new realities in order to be able to fight within them; and always I felt as though I was teetering on the edge of annihilation within the increasing chaos.

In this way the battle raged on, ever quickening, ever more chaotic; not so much ebbing and flowing, but ever changing, ever changing, never the chance to gain our bearings, never the chance to adapt to a new reality, each one like a curve ball being flung towards us in rapid succession, ever fighting and dodging an enemy that was everywhere, yet nowhere to be seen, and as things quickened, the realities were morphing and changing so rapidly that everything became a swirling blur, and all actions now reactions, given totally to the changing realities, to instinct, to trust in the universe: to the realization that trust in the universe to guide us through the chaos is the only way to see such chaos through to its eventual end.

And then, as though when the eyewall of a hurricane moves overhead, reality became a single thing again, and there was only one reality once again, and how simple, calm and peaceful the normal world was as compared to the utter chaos we had suddenly found ourselves delivered from. And I perceived that the war was over, for the enemy was no longer in our midst, and calm was all around. In the chaotic whirlwind of the battle, we had outlasted the enemy; it had consumed itself up in its ever-quickening chaos, unable to sustain its dimensional rifting.

And even as I write this account, time passes very quickly.

Your avatar is not creepy at all....

I can't use the R word since I work with special needs people, so I am just going to say "re-re". I am re-re: I can never understand how to do the most basic things when I learn new software. So I figure; alright, I'll watch a Youtube tutorial on how to use Open Broadcaster Software. After my patience ran out for the video and watching it for like 10 minutes I still don't know how to do the most *basic* thing that the software does: which is to ... (ba-da-bish!) ...wait for it... !! record my screen! (and play it back). I click record screen and then I click stop recording. Nowhere in the software is there "save" or "export" or anything. But I eventually discovered OBS had recorded some files to my HD. So I played the files using VLC and they played back black (nothing recorded but blackness).

I am running MAC OS X Yosemite.

Also, I should tell you my purposes: I want to record myself playing Angband. Now the thing is, Angband doesn't display on my computer the way I want it to. This means I have to use Mac's zoom-screen feature: I hold down the ctrl key and use the trackpad to zoom in on the screen until Angand's little main window fills my whole screen. How will OBS handle this? Will it ignore the zoom and record my entire desktop? Or will it only record the zoomed in Angband window?

Can I crop OBS's recording area?

Thanks so much for helping a software challenged special needs person. :-/

Hi, I am putting together a playlist for work. The goal is to add as many songs as possible (I'd like to get to 300 soon). I work with special needs people and I guess I am looking for feel good/pretty songs, folksy songs or songs that aren't too poppy, edgy or loud. For example some songs I've added so far are:

Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
Perfect Day by Lou Reed
We Shall Overcome, Little Boxes,If I had a hammer, Turn, Turn, Turn & Where have all the Flowers gone? by Pete Seeger
Old Dan Tucker by Bruce Springsteen (on Seeger Sessions album)
Secret Garden & Streets of Philadelphia by Bruce Springsteen
This Land is your Land cover by Bruce Springsteen
Hero by Family of the Year
Fast Car and other favorites by Tracy Chapman
Hey Jack Kerouac and I hope I don't fall in love with you by 10,000 Maniacs
Thick as Thieves and other favorites by Natalie Merchant (mostly Ophelia album)
Cecilia, Bridge over Troubled Water, Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel
Change of Time by Josh Ritter
Dreams by the Cranberries
The Space Between by Dave Matthews Band
Wish List by Pearl Jam
Send me on my way by Rusted Root
Run by Snow Patrol
Morning has Broken and other favorites by Cat Stephens
To Ramona by Bob Dylan
Fix You & The Scientist by Coldplay
Fighter Girl by Mason Jennings
Slow and Steady by Of Monsters and Men
One of these things first and Pink Moon by Nick Drake
Tis a gift to be simple by Penny Rodriguez
I found a way by First Aid Kit
Bad Moon Rising by Clearance Clearwater Revival (any other good songs by them?)
Hallelujah cover by Tori Kelly

New songs and oldies are welcome as the age range at my work is 18 to 74. I guess I prefer discovering new music to older music, but you can see some of the older artists I have a soft spot for and the sort of sound I like and theme I'm going for. I guess I'm also trying to avoid megahits such as Piano Man and American Pie (though they have the kind of sound I like).

I realize this is ...erm.. pretty much the wrong forum to be asking for musical advice of this ilk, but I know not everyone on here listens to doom-esque music, and for some reason I feel most comfortable posting here of any place (prolly something to do with the subject of the site and the fact that I've been posting here since 2000).

BTW, (unrelated to my list) I haven't really listened to Leonard Cohen's final (timely?) album, but I am listening to it right now. The arc of his voice over his career combined with the quality of his songwriting; how he is not considered one of the greatest artists of the era? I don't disagree with Bob Dylan getting the Nobel Prize for Literature, but surely Leonard Cohen is in the same company as Dylan? Never understood why L. Cohen isn't more popular or celebrated. This album is more haunting than Johnny Cash's "Hurt". I think it is safe to say it is the most haunting album I've heard.

It's as if all the wisdom of the world was contained in his voice and slowly revealed over the course of his life. Unlike other great artists, his final album was a perfect capstone to the profoundest legacy; as if he knew it was going to be his last album.

You better do something if you don't want the next video to ********! You better do something quick! Hurry, time is running out! Oh fuck it, closes Chrome and goes to bed.

How is this supposed to make for a good user experience? Am I such a fat blob that I will just sit here and watch whatever Youtube throws at me? Are we so fucking lazy as a society we can't hit play?

Is there anyway I can turn this bullshit off?

I was let go today. I work where I live, so... I need a place to crash for awhile. Can I stay at your place, please?

Post here to vent or complain. I'll start:

Grrrr!!! Get it together iOS! Your spiffy new feature where you make it easier than ever to send photos with a comment does NOT make my life easier. It makes it more difficulty and really annoying. Why? Because this is how I send photos:

I write something and then I post the photo. "Hi, my cook is wanting to know the English name of this fish. It's long and narrow: then I go into photo library to select the photo to drop into the text message. And would you believe it? It won't let me! The only option is to send photo or send photo and add comment! Hey dumb iOS, I've already written my comment, hmm? *&#^ing moron.

Oy vey. So I have been living a very easy going life the last few months cooking meals three nights a week for myself and a woman with mild intellectual disabilities and helping her get to work on time (we'll call her Dee). In exchange, I get reduced rent ($125 shy of free), a weak WiFi signal and the woman I'm sharing the meals with does most of the clean up after meals (to the best of her abilities). In addition to this, been mostly enjoying a very part time respite job that is very straightforward and good pay (only 7 hours a week) in the beautiful rocky neck district of Gloucester.

A lot of time and energy has been going into ensuring Dee is getting the best possible supports to help her be as independent as possible; with the main issue focusing around her getting ready in the morning without needing more than, say, one prompt. The key person in developing strategies and skills (tools) in facilitating Dee in being self-reliant in the morning routine has been a woman who has been something of a mentor to me the last couple years. It has been going well and we just had a two hour meeting to discuss the relevant issues surrounding chores, divvying up meal costs, setting up meal plans and ensuring that progress is being made in following new routines put in place to ensure Dee is succeeding in being ready in a timely manner in the mornings she needs to let the dog out to go for a walk (which is every morning) and more importantly to be ready to go to work when The Ride comes to pick her up at varying times in the morning.

At the last meeting Dee's mother made a comment "I sure hope you both are going to be sticking around for awhile" (referring to the other live-in Companion to Dee who has no experience supporting someone with any kind of intellectual disability). This made me uncomfortable as I had rescheduled an interview I had erroneously made for a job at the same time as the meeting. The interview was for a full time live in position at a high school dorm 40 minutes away. It would mean I'd have to abruptly quit my lead role as companion to Dee and move out as the Dorm job would be starting in less than three weeks time.

Three days later I had the interview and it went surprisingly well and I was offered the job on the spot: $35K salary, benefits, 401K, all meals, rent, utilities and high speed WiFi included free. This is an intensive 9 month job running errands for 18 wealthy boarding students and keeping them inline. Most weekends are "on call" with rotating weekends (with two other "dorm parents") totally off.

The reason the interview went so well is that my friend who is highly regarded in the sales department of the company referred me as a good candidate for the dorm position and gave me a glowing review. So all of a sudden I'm being offered a pretty sweet compensation package; far exceeding anything I've ever been offered or eligible for. I was a bit on the fence, tho, as I wasn't sure I was up for dealing with a bunch of bratty, entitled foreign high school students. But more than that, I was torn about letting down Dee, her mother and my mentor.

My friends reassured me they would understand; that these sorts of decisions are business; people change jobs and careers all the time. That's life.

I told my dad thinking he'd be supportive of me getting a real job, but he cautioned me about the whole thing; told me to be sure I was going in with my eyes open. We had a couple decent-length discussions about the pros and cons of the job. When I texted him I had accepted the position he did not reply. Several hours later I texted again "Hello?" and he replied "okay good going", so I replied, irritated: "Thanks!"

I told my brother thinking he'd be very pleased as he's always been on my case about not having a real job; concerned about my future etc. etc. I tell him about the job and he asks me when am I going to get a job that involves my English degree; like being a teacher.

I told a couple of my close friends and one was supportive, but not overly so, as though he could also see some possible pitfalls to the position, but overall he gave it a thumbs up. His wife, whom I like and respect was more enthusiastic about me getting a real job. When she heard I got the job and that summers were off she was very happy and said we need to celebrate! After two days of mulling it over, I finally confirmed with the lady who interviewed me, once I heard that summers were off, that I would take the position.

Now to the present: Dee's mother had a couple weeks ago invited me and Dee over for a pre-xmas-eve after dinner atmosphere get together. "Mulled wine, roasted chestnuts". Mmmmm... a perfect opportunity to tell her the terrible news. :(

The first thing she asked me about was the job interview I had to reschedule on the day of our recent 2 hour meeting. So I tried not to hem and haw too much and cut right to the dirt of the matter. She was not happy, though she remained cordial. She asked how thorough of a search I had done for a job that would coincide with my current housing arrangement setup (she knew I hadn't been very active in looking for a job). She intimated that it felt like a breach of contract, though she acknowledged there was no actual contract. It wasn't clear if Dee fully understood that I had made the decision rather than just something I was considering. I had tried to explain to my friend Jim who made this new job opportunity possible: Dee's mother is going to be more upset about me leaving after less than 3 months than she would be if I had left after a year. A year at least would have given Dee a year of stability. This is tearing up a sapling just as its roots begin to take hold in new soil.

So I felt horrible sitting there trying not to dumb down where my decision level was for this job I had been offered. By the end of our nibbling on roasted chestnuts and some kind of nut jamboliya, I had told Dee's mother that I had made my decision, even though inwardly I was having nagging doubts. Am I terrible person? Is this unethical of me to lead everyone on that I am happy with this setup with long term goals to enrich Dee's life? I never really explicitly said that, but I haven't been holding back at the meetings etc and everything has been going really well at the house between Dee and me. She enjoys the meals I make; she laughs at my cooking foibles and we have fun impersonating what her adorable dog must be saying in her head when she looks at us with those too-cute expressions of hopeful expectation, one paw lifted in the air, a half-snaggle-toothed grin forming on her little mouth. Should I take the job or remain a simple, humble hobbit with ne'er a care in the world nor much edifying or challenging about my day to day routine? (I do love Hearthstone, tho!) or should I take on a new challenge that might open up some new opportunities for me, might provide new avenues of growth? Does the risk of not liking the job and uprooting something that was doing good for Dee outweigh the potential good the job might bring to me?

Ugh, I guess I need to email my mentor now that the cat's out of the bag. She just left for the UK a few days ago for a few months, but she will be staying in touch with Dee's mom regarding how things are going at the house. Don't think it's very good for me to leave her to learn about it through Dee's mom rather than me. :(

When I told Jim how badly Dee's mother's reception to the news went he replied: "Yikes." and then "Are you giving me your first paycheck or you want to do it 50% of your first two paychecks?"

November 5 is Guy Fawkes day, (A British day of infamy) and is also the day when, in Britain, I was born. As is tradition on here forums, I am hereby boldly making a request for a birthday map.

Some guidelines for da map if you feel so inclined:

• I love old school Doom 1 Dungeon style maps. The more stereotypical dungeon the better. GSTONE1 and FLAT10 are a great combo to my simplistic aesthetic tastes. And Ashwall is really nice, too.
  
  
• While atmosphere and gloom are important; fun, creative, novel, unique, untried, unconventional monster placements and traps are encouraged.
  
  
• I loath monster teleport abuse. (but if it's done cleverly then it can be very moody and effective).
  
  
• If you are inclined to have the exit door be key locked, please, instead, make one more final room before the exit door as I have an odd aversion to exit doors that are key locked.
  
  
• Exploration is the name of the game. Try to avoid a layout that is linear and where all areas in the map must be discovered in order to complete the map.
  

I guess I'll start a thread for discussion all things adventure, instead of cluttering up the boards with multiple similar threads.

I'm reading captain Joshua Slocum's Sailing alone around the world and I'm trying to locate his given location in the book on Apple or Google maps, or any digital map. I'm trying to locate Latitude 5° N., Longitude 26° 30' W. But I am having a difficult time. I suppose it would make it easier if I understood what each of these numbers and letters represented. I assume the N and W stand for north and west respectively. But I can't help but read the 30' as 30 feet, which doesn't make any sense to me. What does the 30' mean? Why isn't there another number after 5° the way that 30' comes after 26°?

Any help is much appreciated, thanks!

If you want a pumpkin themed avatar, feel free to do an image search and I'll make any image you want into an avatar.

Some image ideas:
https://www.google.com/search?site=&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1461&bih=830&q=carved+pumpkin&oq=carved+pumpkin&gs_l=img.3...25.1372.0.1583.10.7.0.0.0.0.0.0..0.0....0...1ac.1.64.img..10.0.0._-SYDqOvQgc

I am looking for some good podcasts. Radiolab has a few, but I'm more interested in like sailing adventures and natural science and the Universe, black holes and things like that. There was an interesting one on the Galapagos and conservation and what is actually best practice. If you know any good ones, please share!

Short film my sister directed:

http://www.orphanistheneworange.com

I don't watch Orange is the New Black, but the film is funny.

I have the privilege of living with two of the coolest cats on Earth. One of them recently was diagnosed with diabetes and seems physically frail (you can feel the bones of his spine too well). So my roommate is like... overly freakoutish about silly things. He won't let the other cat who is only a year and very playful play with Simi, the diabetic one, because he plays rough, and he's worried he will break a bone of Simi. I try to explain to him cats are not like people in this regard and that Nigel (the youthful, exuberant playful one) is not going to break simi, even if he plays too rough and Simi sometimes can't handle it. What are your thoughts? Simi is about 9 years old.

Hi all, I lost my passport (again!) because, likely, I hid it from myself trying to put it in a safe place.

Where do you keep your passport when you are home and not traveling? Thanks for sharing.

My Macbook Pro, which Ive posted about in the past (having malware on it) is still inexplicably running hot all the time. I left my macbook pro open with no programs open except task monitor and Safari with two tabs: Gmail and a paused Mumford and Sons video. I return to my house 10 hours later (whoahhh, how did 10 hours go by?) and I come into my room and I hear my computer fanning away. I check task monitor and "safari networking" process is using 100% of the processor.

Can someone help me understand what my computer is doing to be running so hot while it's just sitting in my room for 10 hours (literally 10 hours) not being used? Are there bots/malware inside of my safari doing processes (a lot of processes to keep it running so hot to have the fan going)? If there are, what in God's name are they doing?

I really really really would like some insight on this issue because not only is it really baffling to me, but it's obviously hugely inefficient and leaves very few resources for my computer to do actual useful stuff.

tl;dr safari runs my processor at 100% all the time for no reason, why?

EDIT: If I force quit the "safari networking" process the fan stops spinning. As soon as I click on a link or do anything online in Safari the process reloads and immediately goes to 100%, spooling up the fans again, even if I just click on the link that takes you to the different doomworld forums without actually browsing any forums.