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Jonathan

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Status Replies posted by Jonathan

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      I'm in London; I got this. I'll turn up and say "I'M FROM THE INTERNET, I'M HERE TO FIX A PIXEL."

    2. (See 12 other replies to this status update)

  1. Thanks to your temporary prohibition of politically charged threads on the site, I learned what the word "moratorium" meant. I had never heard that word used before, so I looked it up. Today at work I had an opportunity to use that word in a conversation and it appeared to make a point I was trying to make sound more convincing to the guy I was engaged in debate with. I assume that because it's a word that isn't considered an "everyday" word to most people, it made me come off as more educated.

    So, tonight I will do a shot for you.

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      Job said:

      That should be remuneration.

      So it should. If I use this information to impress a co-worker, you can expect a "Thank you, Job" thread.

    2. (See 39 other replies to this status update)

  2. Thanks to your temporary prohibition of politically charged threads on the site, I learned what the word "moratorium" meant. I had never heard that word used before, so I looked it up. Today at work I had an opportunity to use that word in a conversation and it appeared to make a point I was trying to make sound more convincing to the guy I was engaged in debate with. I assume that because it's a word that isn't considered an "everyday" word to most people, it made me come off as more educated.

    So, tonight I will do a shot for you.

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      Linguica needs to announce a collectivised moratorium on laborage in furtherance of equitable renumeration, so you can really get ahead at work.

    2. (See 39 other replies to this status update)

  3. There is so much static and conflicting reports in both mainstream media and on the internet, are there sites that openly fact check with resources? How does one educate themselves on social matters and not get led around by the nose?

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      Phml said:

      Fraggle thinks himself righteous and smarter than most others. At the same time, I can guarantee you he does not gloat, even to himself, about that. He believes he is correct, and he desperately, earnestly wants to educate you and make the world a better place. That's his angle.

      I'm an egotistical Frenchman with a hard-on against anglosaxon imperialism, cultural or otherwise, and in my selfishness I see typing long forum replies as a self-improvement tool. It also lets me rant at Internet people who peeve me, rather than at real people I love and don't want to hurt. That's my angle.



      Strange, much of your description of Fraggle appears to fit yourself much better.

      Your whole post, from your patronising tone, your long-windedness, your boasts about the special insight you think you have into people, your passive-aggressive "snake oil salesmen" insults, and your romantic view of yourself as some kind of abrasive anti-hero, betrays a cast-iron belief that you are smarter, better and more righteous than the mere mortals you deem worthy of receiving your wisdom.

      But, as Linguica pointed out, nothing you said remotely backed up this deluded self-image. This wasn't some clever psychoanalytical profile you've intuited from reading Fraggle's posts. It wasn't even really a description of Fraggle at all. It's a narrative you've constructed in your own mind: A stereotype of celibate computer nerds, adopting left-wing politics in lieu of a social life. I'm sure it's something you've stewed on for a while, and were itching to finally deploy.

      Except, of course, you were wrong on the key point. But I'm sure you won't let that deflect you from your brave struggle against anglosaxon imperialism on internet forums. *barf*

    2. (See 23 other replies to this status update)

  4. For years I've been putting off making a readiness kit to keep in the trunk of my car. I have always told myself, "Next paycheck for sure."

    Well, yesterday I finally went ahead and did it. Here is what I have so far:


    In the top:

    •Matches
    •Cotton Swabs
    •Toothpicks


    Inside

    •Steril gauze
    •Medical Tape
    •Antiseptic Ointment
    •Burn Ointment
    •Tweezers
    •Fingernail Clippers
    •Knife
    •Flashlight
    •Batteries for flashlight
    •Lighter
    •Matches
    •Mini screwdriver kit
    •Pens
    •Sharpies
    •Fork
    •Scissors
    •Painkillers
    •Spare phone charger
    •Latex Gloves
    •Notepad
    •Duct Tape
    •1 Quarter


    Items to be added:

    •Mini sewing kit
    •Garbage bags
    •Safety Vest
    •Road Flares
    •Blanket
    •WD40
    •Can and Bottle Opener
    •Zip ties (Thank you MrGlide)
    •Nonperishable food (Thank you MrGlide)
    •Thermometer (Thank you Deadwolves)
    •Universal Charger (Thank you Deadwolves)
    •Compass
    •Candles (Thank you Technician)
    •Life Straw (Thank you yukib1t)
    •Whistle (Thank you TheCupboard)
    •MREs (Thank you The Cupboard)
    •Bug Repellent (Thank you Fraggle)
    •Whatever else I think of (and write in the notepad)


    Being prepared is important because you never know when an emergency will strike. Do you have a readiness kit in your car or home? If so, what do you have inside?

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      1) Healing quartz crystal — Simply waft it over any injury and the crystal will draw out the ill-humors and accelerate the healing process.

      2) Tarot cards — For telling your fortune, and that of others. Definitely a useful skill in a disaster situation.

      3) Astrological chart — Ditto. If clouds of radioactive dust have blotted out the sky, making it impossible to track the position of the constellations, then you can use it as toilet paper.

      4) Divining rods — For finding hidden sources of fresh water.

      5) Crystal ball — For scrying and far-seeing, to help plot a safe course through the wasteland.

      6) Rabbit's foot — You're going to need all the luck you can get to survive. Can be replaced or augmented with a horse shoe or four leaved clover.

    2. (See 13 other replies to this status update)

  5. And I am still posting on Doomworld. WTF is wrong with me.

  6. So here's my problem: I love quantum mechanics, physics, chemistry, biology, astrophysics and cosmology. But in order to understand those subjects intimately, I would have to be able to comprehend the mathematical formulae associated with those fields of study. I am unable to do most high school algebra and in fact I am almost unable to add or subtract numbers larger than single digit without using pen and paper; and with pen and paper, I am nearly unable to do division. I am not willing to drop everything and spend the next 10 years learning various forms of math, just so I can catch up with someone who, because of their natural skill, learned he same amount of information in one year or less.

    My point is that people who are naturally skilled at arithmetic are unable to understand the that it's simply too difficult for unskilled folks to learn, as very few people have the time or devotion to overcome their inability comprehend anything higher than grade school math. Is there anything than can be done about this, or are mathematically challenged folks like myself doomed to never "getting it"?

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      Anyone, regardless of their natural ability, will reach a threshold at which ability alone is not enough to advance their understanding in a subject. At that point, they have to supplement their innate talent with extra effort. It may not be “fair” that some people reach that threshold earlier than others, but rest assured that everyone, eventually, will reach it. And that fact that you have to do so now is perhaps a blessing in disguise. Those who coast for years on their ability often struggle to most when they are finally faced with their intellectual limitations and required to really work for what they want.

      Also, do you really “love” the subjects you mentioned, or do you just like some aspects of them, in a high-level and fannish way? There is a big difference between enjoying a subject as an outside observer, and studying it enough to acquire a detailed understanding. Many of us here enjoy playing computer games, but few of us really “love” them enough to devote our careers to making them, with all the effort and study and uncertainty that entails.

      I would argue that to truly love the sciences you mentioned, enough to gain a proper understanding of them, then you also have to love mathematics. At at advanced level, they are too intertwined to be considered separately. So long as you view math as a necessary evil to be conquered in order to unlock the more fun bits of those subjects, then you will struggle. You need to find a way to gain some pleasure or enjoyment or interest from the math side of them, at least enough to make studying it tolerable.

      Finally, it sounds like a source of your frustration could be that you're trying to run before you can walk, with regards to the formula you are studying. You don't need to be great at mental arithmetic, but you need to have a grasp of basic algebra before going on to anything more advanced. Mathematical knowledge is acquired in layers, and struggling badly with one layer is often a sign that you need to do further work at a more basic level.

    2. (See 19 other replies to this status update)

  7. Yesterday, in my C programming lab, I was solving problems with recursions, the hardest part was that some of them required using variables inside recursive functions for better solutions. I tried to avoid declaring variables inside them as that would harm the memory, so I ended up declaring global variables, which ended in a mess. Here is an example of my functions:

    code:
    Array
    The number "10" in the above code is the size of the array I declared later in the main function. I could use a constant value of 10 in SIZE, but a better way is to put another integer variable in the function to store length value like the comment I wrote, but this will make it change its value to the new length, and it will keep declaring integer type variable.
    code:
    Array
    This messy function is supposed to check if a string is a palindrom string. length's value is the length of the character array "LeooeL", same issue as the first code (putting the length as a variable). z (didn't bother to pick a name for it) should be used to indicate whenever it should stop checking, but I didn't finish the function, so I put a comment for each statement concerning it, as it's the not the issue here. Notice where I declared the variables, not favorable.

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      C30N9, that extra else if clause you inserted isn't necessary. The && logical operator is short-circuiting in C, meaning that if the left side evaluates to false, the right side recursive call will not be executed, and the result will be 0, which will be returned.

    2. (See 6 other replies to this status update)

  8. Worth buying for $300? I really need a pair of decent, comfortable (key word) headphones and I really love Bose®'s noise canceling stuff. Has anyone here bought a pair? What do you think?

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      I think people here are missing the point about noise-cancelling. By all accounts, Bose headphones aren't the best in terms of audio quality, but they *are* the best at active noise-cancelling. Pretty much every headphones round-up, on places like The Wirecutter, recommends Bose as the best option if you want/need noise-cancelling.

      $300 is a lot of money though. I've been considering getting Bose's in-ear QC20s for a while, as they'd mean I could actually listen to music during my commute, but that price goes beyond an expensive impulse purchase into "how the hell can I really justify this?" territory. I guess it comes down to how much money you have to spare. Some people would spend $300 on headphones without thinking twice.

    2. (See 31 other replies to this status update)

  9. Lately I've been reading a lot about the nature of reality. As I understand it, reality comes down to this: All five of your senses: hearing, taste, touch, sight, and smell, are electrical impulses inside your brain. Therefore, how do you know that the reality you perceive with said five senses is really real, that this is the ultimate reality? You can't; it's impossible. All of you Doomworlders could be just a figment of my overheated imagination. But by the same token, I could be a figment of your overheated imagination. What is one to believe?

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      If your imagination, or perhaps some far-future supercomputer, can perfectly simulate intelligence, so that you cannot distinguish between the simulation and reality, are those simulated beings really any less alive and intelligent? Descartes said "I think therefore I am", but what if I only think I'm thinking? Am I still?

      There is nothing intelligent about atoms and energy. Conscious intelligence as we understand is an emergent property of a particular arrangement of them. Every night you go to sleep and the conscious, intelligent "you" disappears for a few hours, even though the matter and energy persists (it seems). Then one day you die, and that conscious intelligence disappears forever.

      But if intelligence is an emergent property, why should one source of its emergence be more privileged over any other? If it emerges from the silicon of a computer processor, the bits of a computer program, or the abstract imaginative processes of a biological super-intelligence, is it any less real than if it emerged from from a physical clump of neurons? What if a super-intelligent being imagines another intelligent being, or even a whole universe full of them? What if those beings in turn imagine others? Do they all exist? Do none of them?

      We begin to see that the nature of intelligent existence is unavoidably independent of base reality. Even if we're a product of your fevered imagination, if your imagination -- or some outside force controlling your perceptions -- is powerful to imbue us with intelligence, then we exist, just as surely as if we were made of physical matter. And since you could be imagined yourself, as a simulation fed to someone else's senses, we see there is no privileged reference frame for intelligent existence. Every intelligence you perceive is as real and unreal as any intelligence can be, and as real and unreal as your own.

    2. (See 10 other replies to this status update)

  10. Is there a word to describe the feeling of being upset that you stopped caring about a loss in your life? Just kinda wondering aloud to myself here. Like, you know, you have a bad breakup, or you find yourself having to move, and for the longest time, it's all you can think about - and then one day, you just don't even care that it's gone, and yet for some reason that in itself bothers you. I don't even know if that makes sense - either the emotion itself or my ability to explain it, but it's just been on my mind. Thought of an old girlfriend and realized I may never see or hear from her again, and then realized I don't care, and then realized that the fact that I don't care just doesn't sit right with me.

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      Well, in popular psychology, there are supposedly five stages of grief, with acceptance being the last. It's a partially discredited theory, as it doesn't match the fact that many people cope with loss without grieving at all, but there's a kernel of truth to it. Things that upset us greatly almost always lose their force to do so over time, as gradually we accept them, and then forget about them. We could call this post-acceptance step, "moving on".

      Feeling guilty about having moved on is, perhaps, a paradoxical type of grief at the loss of grief. The upset we feel about a loss is proof, if only to ourselves, of how much we cared about the thing we lost. It's the last connection we have to this thing that was so important. But when we realise that we've stopped even caring, then we realise we've lost even that connection, which means we've truly lost the original thing forever. We feel guilty that we've "allowed" ourselves to forget, but also sad that we no longer have that connection.

      We could also think of it in more low-level terms, in the brain's tendency to build predictive models of the world, and it's desire to avoid contradictions in those models that manifest as cognitive dissonance. A sudden and painful loss, such as the death of a family member of the end of a relationship, can be very difficult because it rips away a seemingly stable part of our mental model of the world, one on which we depend for emotional support and happiness. The intense discomfort we feel could stem from the sudden dissonance between our mental model of what is stable and important in our lives, and the new reality we are faced with.

      But the brain is adaptable, and will eventually move to resolve a dissonance by gradually adjusting its mental model. And once the new reality is incorporated into our model, we no longer notice it, because it's no longer novel, but expected, and our emotions also return to their base state. This process happens gradually, but at some point we notice the difference between our current relative happiness and how horribly upset we were immediately after the loss. Since the fact of the loss hasn't changed, only our feelings about it, we are faced with another contradiction - finding we are not longer bothered by something we previously felt so strongly about - and this manifests as another dissonance. But, like the first dissonance, we can accept this too, in time.

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  11. We've been waiting a long time, but the moment arrived much sooner than expected. On Easter Sunday at 23.30, our daughter Lilian was born.

    She's 1578 grams and 30 weeks, and will be staying in the care of hospital staff until she's fully matured at 40 weeks. Despite being born prematurely, she's doing fine and her parents can't wait until they can welcome her home!

  12. You may now all call me Dr. Fredrik.

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      I will call you Doc. Effy Jo-hanz.

      Congrats!

    2. (See 22 other replies to this status update)

  13. Ok, playboys of Doomworld, riddle me this one. Put yourselves in the situation:

    You're at a seminar in a foreign city (being the international man of mystery that you are), and this reserved, dorky-ish acting chick is all that appears within reach for the week. You spend every waking hour funneling your attention and spare cash into her greedy maw, sharing dessert with her and even walking along the beach at sunset showing off your superhuman skillz at rock skipping.

    Alas, it is all for naught. Not even getting her drunk has helped you get into her pants, and you begin to wonder if you've been friendzoned like a gay boy friend, or if she simply doesn't have sex. You return to your apartment by train, cry into your penis, and say goodnight. Then, the next morning, out of the blue, she wants to have extended conversations on Facebook! What's more, she adds flirty lines to her sentences for no reason and totally says heyy, ha, and :).

    So I ask you, Doomworld, DOES SHE WANT THE D?

  14. Gentlemen, I am going bald. I am not bald, but I will be bald. My hair is skinny, not fat. My entire family has skinny hair. My family does not ever go grey, we just go bald. Sadly they say you get your hair from your mother's side of the family and my mother's mother was balding at 50.

    There are a few reasons someone can be bald. Genetics of course, but also inflammatory disease (ex: gingivitis and multiple sclerosis) can cause baldness. Basically, baldness is a side effect. Sweat can clog hair follicles and so on.

    So after doing some research, I'm going the vitamin route to fix things. What causes hair growth? What does the body need to make it? What am I not getting enough of? Like if you want to build a red barn out of legos. If you have a lot of red legos, you can make a big barn, but if you only have a few, then your barn won't be big.

    I've spent about $50 on vitamin A, B6, C, E, Iron, Biotine, Zinc and Omega 3 (for the why the hell not factor).

    At this point, it is only a proclamation that I am going to down these vitamins and see what happens in the next 30+ days. While this might not be some miracle cure for hair loss, it will probably result in better overall health. I'll let you all know how it goes, but is there any one among you crazy enough to try this experiment with me?

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      Let's face it, we're almost all going bald; it's just some of us are further along the road than others. I'd echo what everyone else has said: Try and accept it, don't waste your life pursuing gimmick treatments.

      In a couple of decades, there probably will be a real "cure" for male pattern baldness, simply because of how much is spent researching it. Most millionaires and billionaires don't have to worry about HIV or malaria, but they will go bald, and so that's where the money goes. The fact that so much money is still spent researching it should tell you that there's no simple fix like guzzling down a plethora of vitamins.

      So chill out, wait for a real medical fix, and in the meantime concentrate on improving other things. There are so many aspects of your character that really are under your control: Your weight, build, posture, dress sense, demeanour, etc. Your hair is only a single thing.

    2. (See 30 other replies to this status update)

  15. Obligatory tl;dr warning.

    Family drama just seems to be mounting over here as of late, and I'm just wanting desperately to get away from it all.

    Right now, my mum is the only person I can stand. She has seemingly no unlikeable qualities whatsoever and is an absolute saint to all of us. I love her dearly.

    My dad, meanwhile, has recently become a ticking time-bomb of rage. If someone dares to speak while he's on a train of thought (ie. all the time because actually he never seems to stop talking) then he'll either passive-aggressively shut up, and just stew in raging silence for the rest of the day... or take out all his frustration on all of us, to the point where he thinks we all hate him and are bored by his very existence. He has some serious demons that none of us can reasonably deal with, because he lets them develop into hideous cancerous thoughts about the world around him that can't be shifted. This came to be obvious to me some time last year when, after I'd become rather frustrated with his constant negative outlook on things, he stayed up all night typing a 2,500 word "letter" detailing how I was an ungrateful little shit who didn't appreciate any of the hard work he'd ever done for me. I don't have said letter any more, but it was the most upsetting thing in the world to read. His thoughts started out fairly honest and reasonable and I initially agreed with how I may have said some wrong things to him, but those thoughts rapidly degenerated into utter madness. I could tell he'd just thought, "James is a bit of a bastard sometimes", when he'd started, but he'd just allowed increasingly fetid and horrible untruths about me and the argument we'd had to spiral out of control from that one thought, and he condensed all of that vitriol into 2,500 terrible words. I spent the whole day feeling wrecked, staying in my room away from him, and seeing no alternative but to write a rebuttal, which amounted to 4,000 words and I had to show him the following day because I spent so long on it.

    I realize this all sounds incredibly pathetic. And that things could be much worse, like he could threaten me/the rest of us with actual violence, but the fact remains that it's not normal for my dad to be able to harbor such horrible thoughts so easily, and the way he deals with those thoughts is always so incredibly detached from reality. Could he not just, like, get into an actual argument with me? That honestly would've been preferable.

    Meanwhile, my brother seems to be getting increasingly bipolar. Most of the time he's just astoundingly silly and loud, and can be heard at almost any time of the day loudly regurgitating quotes from YouTube videos, or yelling at his TF2 teammates. He also animates with Flash occasionally (which he's still learning), and does voice-overs for other people on a voice-acting board. But even though he has all these things he loves doing, and does them, every week or so we see him drag himself out of bed utterly depressed and then require a lecture on self-improvement from my dad, which won't really reach a conclusion, but will definitely bring up how he's "afraid of success" and all sorts of other stupid bollocks. Neither me or my brother currently go to school or have jobs, so we have all the free time necessary to make whatever we want of ourselves. I'm doing what I love (making music and moving towards finishing our EP) but it's as if he doesn't like doing what he loves, as weird as that sounds. I think he sees it all as work, so he procrastinates chronically. He'll also get upset at the smallest things (like people not putting the biscuit packets back in the cupboard properly - seriously) and make a massive deal out of them. And most alarmingly, today at the dinner table he revealed that he'd been dealing with homicidal thoughts that occurred because people (i.e. us) had the gall to be in his room and he wanted to be alone. But those thoughts were gone now and it was over and not worth worrying about (bizarrely, my dad concurred with this). I'm like, "no, that's actually quite disturbing" - I seriously worry about his mental well-being, sometimes, and this just compounded my concern.

    Both these things collided a couple of nights ago when my brother, outraged at how a pack of biscuits hadn't been put back properly, interrupted my dad. At that point I had a bit of an "oh, fuck" moment, because my dad got this look that I can't really describe. After my brother had made a royal song-and-dance about the biscuits, my mum tried to steer the subject back to my dad had been talking about (something actually important, related to our financial position) but he took this as another interruption in the flow of the conversation, and just exploded. He was swearing and throwing insults and making up stuff about what we thought of him, like how he was incompetent and forgetful (he made this shit up on the spot but he believed it!). He has since apologized for the outburst and tried to make amends, but parts of his tirade still hang in my mind, namely how he was so convinced that we all thought he was worthless and boring and stupid, and how when he gets into these moods he can't be reasoned with.

    [Rough translation of how it went:]
    "You all think I'm boring and worthless."
    "No, we don't."
    "See? And now you think I'm wrong and a liar."
    "No, stop being childish."
    "FUCK OFF AND LET ME SPEAK. [insert uninterrupted 4000-word argument here]"

    At the end of all this we were all (him included) emotionally drained and thoroughly upset, most of all him because he managed to divert the subject by saying (through tears at this point) that he wanted me and my brother to be successful and not have to work in a boring office job, which is his absolute worst nightmare ever. (This relates back to how he was talking about money before my brother brought up the fucking biscuits.) You may remember that I actually wanted to get a boring 9-to-5 job of that sort at some point because I just wanted to motivate myself to do better and also get some independent financial reward... but that still hasn't happened. And now it looks like if it does, my dad will see himself as a failure of a father.

    For some reason my dad's currently talking with his mum on Skype about what happened two nights ago. Which means he's going to dredge up all the emotional turmoil from what happened and get his mum to give her input, which I can't see panning out well because she's likely just going to get him all riled up again. I really hope she doesn't, because for the most part she's really nice, but does have a bit of a habit of unwittingly stirring up a good deal of family drama.

    The truth of the matter is, my dad has been on a bazillion self-improvement seminars, during which he's tried to find happiness through all sorts of neuro-linguistic programming, and even religion. But he's still the same person underneath, just unable to really emote like a normal human being. I think he's beyond therapy of any sort and it'll just be another waste of expenses. I doubt that my brother would fare any better, because they just have those kinds of brains that don't take kindly to change of routine of any sort, and just gradually reform back to their original twisted ways again. I really feel like it's autism... because honestly my brother and I had to have inherited our Asperger's Syndrome-esque tendencies from somewhere. (My brother seems to still be affected by it, but I think I've "grown past" my "borderline-AS" diagnosis now.)

    Honestly, because I want to help, but feel powerless to, it's getting to the point where I just want to be away from this family. Move. Run away. It's looking increasingly like a preferable option. I don't want to have to deal with people who are so detached from reality they see goddamn biscuits as being the worst thing in the world. It's just driving me mad, and compounding the fact that I don't feel like I live like a healthy human being in a healthy family environment.

    I'm sorry for the long post you probably don't care about. I just had to get this bile out somewhere.

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      Your Dad? Sounds like it's a combination of long accumulated psychological stresses, a mid-life crisis, and homesickness. Really though, who can say? We can't know, because we don't have anything to go on beyond your testimony, and you can't know because you lack the objectivity or expertise to make an accurate diagnosis. Frankly, it isn't a question of what is or isn't wrong with your Dad. The issue is how you choose to behave in response, as our own behaviour is the only thing any of us really has true control over.

      Firstly though, I'd question exactly what you want to get out of posting these blogs? Do you really want advice, or simply a place to vent and get some sympathy for how shitty your situation is? If it's latter then fair enough, you're certainly entitled to sympathy, as your situation is shitty, but there's not much point the rest of us hammering away telling you what we think you should do if that's not what you're looking for.

      Presupposing you do genuinely want advice, you seem like an intelligent person, so I don't think there's much we can tell you that you won't have already considered and understood, at least on an intellectual level. Of course, there's a difference between understanding something intellectually and understanding it emotionally, and then another gap to actually acting on that knowledge. You clearly understand intellectually that it would be beneficial for you to remove yourself from the situation you're presently in, but you don't seem ready emotionally to make such a decisive break from your family, and even less ready for the practical realities of doing so.

      Others have already told you in no uncertain terms to move out and yes, if you have the means and mindset to do so, then it would likely be a good course of action. However, perhaps it isn't practical. You only arrived in the country relatively recently, don't have a high level qualification, and may not have the money or support network necessary to move out. That doesn't mean though, that you can't take actions to improve the situation and to gradually engineer the circumstances where you will be able to move out and become independent.

      Your home situation reminds me of several people I've known, less the unhinged father, who stay in the family home rather than moving out and getting their own place or going to university. They enter a state of arrested development, somewhere between childhood and adulthood, where they are ostensibly mature and independent, yet still living in an environment essentially unchanged since their youth, reliant on their parents and treated by them as somewhat less than adults. Some of them even had jobs and cars and the means to become fully independent if they chose, but remained trapped in this state simply because it was easier.

      You mentioned going to university in one of your posts, and it seems like it might offer a good solution to your predicament. It would allow you to move out without necessarily causing a breach with your family, experience greater independence within a structured environment, establish a wider network of friends and acquaintances, help develop your musical ability and give you a qualification that may help you get a job (alongside the portfolio of work you could build up over the course of your studies). The value of the qualifications attained through higher education is probably significantly less valuable that the opportunity it provides all young adults to establish themselves as a person independently from their parents. It is a pain in the arse applying to university, I remember it well enough, but if you choose to make it a priority, and can get yourself excited about the opportunity it offers, then I'm sure you can do it.

      In the short term though, the question is how you choose to deal with the situation with your Dad. Like I said, you can only control your own behaviour. Repressing your anger until it eventually boils over in some apoplectic rant isn't going to help the situation. Find a way to defuse the anger you feel, by writing, hitting inanimate objects, meditating, whatever. Change how you react to your Dad's behaviour, by choosing not to get angry. Choose to see it for what it is, a symptom of illness, and rather ridiculous in its own way. Choose to detach yourself from the situation and observe it as you would a film or TV show.

      One way to deal with the situation when you Dad does start ranting is to physically remove yourself from it. When he starts, or when it looks like he's about to, simply leave the room, leave the house and go for a walk. If he wants to know why, just calmly explain that his behaviour makes you uncomfortable and you're not going to tolerate it. Seriously, just get up and walk away, even if it's the middle of the night. Don't get angry, don't allow yourself to be drawn in emotionally by threats, demands or any other kind of manipulation, just leave. You need establish boundaries, and the easiest way you can do so is with your own behaviour.

      Don't focus on trying to "fix" your Dad's problems somehow, that isn't your responsibility. If the opportunity arises, explain to him, (again, calmly) that you think he is unwell, and should seek counselling. Don't get into an argument, trying to "prove" he needs help with examples of his behaviour, or engaging with his paranoia or delusions, simply state that you don't see things as he does, thank you won't tolerate his behaviour or even discuss it unless he can do so calmly and rationally. Remember at all times, that how you react is a choice, and at any time you can choose to remove yourself from a conversation or a situation.

      Finally, try and find activities that will get you out of the house. Whether it's taking music lessons, playing sports, joining a book club, a knitting circle, a different band, a dungeons and dragons club, online dating, volunteering for a charity, bike-riding, exploring the wilderness, visiting a library, anything that helps to regularly get you out of your home environment.

    2. (See 29 other replies to this status update)

  16. Bare with me guys, this will cover some wild topics. My gf has told me I snore. What? First time I've heard that. Anyway, I pinpointed it. Whenever my left nostril is uh closed by a pillow, I snore.

    Whenever I jog. I really have difficulty breathing through my nose. So today I just decided to uh push on the left part of my nose to completely close the left nostril. Wow I could barely breathe. Then I closed the right nostril with the left one open. I could breathe really well through the left one.

    Then in my boredom, I researched breathing through one nostril. A lot of people do it, not sure if its true or not. I figured well I must breathe through my left nostril, since its the open one. Again, in my boredom I taped my good left nostril shut. Yeah stick with me here. I got really tired. I had trouble breathing and eventually I just fell asleep. Maybe that's a coincidence. Every so often I'd have to breathe through my mouth to compensate.

    Now tonight, I put my finger under my nose and just exhaled. The air only came out the right. So even though its the weaker nostril I'm breathing through the right one? Weird.

    Then I decided to tape closed the bad right one for 15 minutes. I didn't get tired, I didn't have trouble breathing and for the most part it felt like I was still exhaling on both sides and not just the right. Earlier, when I had taped closed the left side, it really didn't feel like I was exhaling out of the left.

    But now I take off the tape and check. I'm now breathing through my left side only. Exhaling via the good left side. That's so weird that just suddenly my nose decides to breathe out the other nostril!

    While I'm typing this, I decided to tape up the good left one again, that I've been breathing out of for the past hour. Just to see what happens. I really want to breathe through my mouth to compensate. After 10 more minutes I feel very tired after being very awake, but maybe that's just uh midnight happening. I find my breathes are deeper, like I need to suck in more O2 to compensate.

    Time to take the tape off. Well this experiment failed. I can't change it back and forth like I thought that I'd be able to. I'm still now mostly breathing out of the left nostril. Well this was interesting.

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      Humans naturally cycle between breathing through each nostril, switching every couple of hours or so as each side becomes partially congested, then cleared.

      Think about it: Why do we have two nostrils? We have two eyes and two ears in order to judge direction and distance, but we can't do either with our noses, so it seems like we should only have one, just like we only have one mouth. The reason we have two is two allow this alternation, which helps prevent either from drying up or becoming infected.

    2. (See 10 other replies to this status update)

  17. Happy birthday you mopey old bastard. Oh wait, me too. I'm 32. Oh god, my feet...

    Feel free in joining together to mock the old one. Me, not Cthulhu.

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      “Age shouldn't affect you. You’re either marvellous or you’re boring, regardless of your age.”

    2. (See 15 other replies to this status update)

  18. I just want to know the specific reason my fanfiction "Ponies Playing Doom" was put into post-hell, when it obviously was an actual (albeit, purposely ridiculous, entirely satirical,) ongoing story.

    Yes, it involves characters from the show MLP: FiM. A number of people seem to think all bronies are annoying and childish. Granted, there are some very annoying and stupid bronies out there.

    But as fellow Doomers, aren't there members of our own community we wish would stop ruining our reputation? I.e, relentless trolls who upload childish Terry-crap, and end up taking time and attention away from potential new mappers, or stupid spammers who post things just to be rude or idiotic?

    I'm not angry that my fanfiction has been Post-Helled, but I am sad. Sad that something I've actually put real work and effort into (yes, believe it or not, I've taken time to create a funny story, and was going to continue it every few days, even going as far as having characters logging onto Doomworld themselves and wondering why there are so many fish.)

    But for whatever reason, it's been sent to Post-Hell. Most likely due to an attempt to get rid of "Pony" related pages.

    Sure, some (okay, a lot of) posts deserve Post-Hell, but certainly my story wasn't one of them, right?

    Don't get me wrong. I'm not angry at this site. I love Doomworld and its community. I love being able to contribute my thoughts and creations to fellow doomers, and share opinions. And NOTHING will ever change that. I am, and always will be, a supporter of this website, its moderators, and the community behind it.

    But here's another fact: a certain number of doomers (including myself) are bronies, too. Nothing will change that.

    Getting rid of any material having even the slightest to do with an outside interest (even when the said post has enough to do about Doom to be posted on Doomworld) is not the answer. This is just my opinion on the matter. Hold your own opinions whichever way you want.

    Despite my ranting, I can't end without a personal thank you to the Doomworld community, and to the people who maintain this site. You guys are awesome! Even as a complete newb with very little experience, I have had such nice response from people all across the board. Whether they be senior-members or green-marines just as myself, people here have been so kind. Thank you, very much. It means a lot more to me than you may think.

    As always, I will continue posting Doom-related stuff and contributing my best work to this site. Thanks again for all of the welcome I've received, and may your Dooming adventures never end,
    Sincerely, Obake

    p.s. seriously, "that's a lot of fish!" (N.C. Reference.)

  19. I dunno, some juicy drama, or anything else interesting to an old veteran like myself.

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      Romero divorced Raluca the Romanian. Now he's married to Brenda Brathwaite.

      Not really DW news but it amuses me.

    2. (See 51 other replies to this status update)

  20. I dunno, some juicy drama, or anything else interesting to an old veteran like myself.

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      Mordeth ep2 got released.

      Oh wait no that didn't happen and never will.

    2. (See 51 other replies to this status update)

  21. I wanted to try writing a story in an American voice, and well, this is what I came up with...

    My name is Jimmy, and I'm Jesus's son. Yeah, that's right, Jesus, everyone's
    favourite Mexican magician, He's my dad. It might sound like a sweet gig, being the
    grandson of God, and sure there are a few perks, like doing miracles and the
    free wine, but mostly it's just a giant pain in my ass. I hear classmates tell
    me their families are a problem and I'm like, dudes, you have no idea.

    I'm studying a NYU, and being the son of the son of God means just about
    everyone knows me, and I get all manner of phonies trying to ingratiate
    themselves with me and skanky chicks throwing themselves in the direction of my
    bed. That last part might sound fun, but trust me it gets old real fast. Worse
    is that all the smart, classy, or interesting chicks won't come near me. They
    think I'm going to be some religious freak, or super self-important or
    something, just 'cause my family's supposedly a big deal. The crazy thing is,
    I'm not even particularly spiritual. If it weren't for my folks, I'd probably be
    an atheist, how nuts is that?

    It isn't just skanks after a prestige lay either, I also get creepy attention
    from the other end of the spectrum: The super religious girls, and guys. They
    all tend to be very mixed up, with all manner of parent issues, conflicted
    sexuality identity, repression and guilt. For some reason, they latch onto me as
    the solution to all their problems. For a while I used to command 'em to go out,
    get wasted and get laid. Figured it might do them some good. But then my Dad
    found out and went apeshit. Nowadays I just tell 'em to go away.

    To be honest, I don't see eye to eye with my Dad. Nowadays I only see Him when I
    go home for the holidays. We usually manage to keep the peace for about two days
    before we end up in some blazing row, usually over who spilt the milk or
    something dumb like that. Then it's a week or more of silence and simmering
    resentment, while Mom does her best to smooth things over, before I head back to
    NYU. I tell you, for a guy supposedly all about forgiveness, he sure stays mad
    at me for a long while.

    I should be more understanding, I guess. I think my Dad's pretty stressed out.
    His whole second coming hasn't really worked out like He expected. Turns out
    bringing the kingdom of Heaven to Earth is harder than you'd guess, and now He's
    got Grandpa on His back. I heard them talking when I was last home. It's weird to
    watch. It kinda seems like regular praying, but then occasionally you'll hear
    God talk back.

    Anyway Dad was complaining about all the problems He's got in the church and the
    trouble converting all the heathens blah blah blah, and I can hear Grandpa just
    muttering and going uh-huh a bit like He does when He's getting pissed. Next
    thing, I hear my Dad say, "Anyway, I'm thinking it might end up taking a third
    coming." Well, the old man just about flipped, or came as close as I've ever
    heard Him. Starts telling my Dad there's no goddamn *way* He's getting another
    coming. That the only way He's getting back into Heaven is by building it on
    Earth first.

    Dad was in a seriously sore mood after that little exchange, as you can imagine,
    and I steered well clear of Him. He spent the whole next day sulking in the
    garage working on his woodwork stuff. I feel sorry for my little sister, Mandy,
    being stuck in that environment, but she seems happy enough. Dad dotes on her
    though, He always has. I think He's always resented me, 'cause I was one of His
    first big fuck-ups and caused all sorts of scandal. I think Grandpa arranged
    some kinda shotgun wedding, where He changed history so Mom and Dad were married
    before I was conceived. I'm fuzzy on the details, 'cause the only time I ever
    hear about it is when Aunt Dorothy gets drunk at family events and starts
    spilling.

    I guess by the time Mandy showed up eight years later, Dad was feeling better
    about the whole situation, or at least He'd resigned himself to it. Anyway, I'm
    pretty sure He loves her more than He loves me. I reckon Mom loves us both about
    the same though. I wonder about her and Dad though. Sometimes I think they're
    both still into each other, and others I think it's all for appearances. I know
    she was one of His groupies, back in the early days. When I was in the attic one
    time I found an old photo from back then. It's weird. Dad was all in hippy
    robes, with long hair and this gay little beard, and He's standing on a little
    rock, teaching to this rapt looking group of stoners. Anyway, front row, there's
    Mom, staring up at Him like He's, well, Jesus.

    It seems like a pretty weird way to start a relationship, almost kinda
    exploitative on His part, you know? I've never had the guts to ask either of
    them about it though. Still, I sure don't see Mom giving Him any rapt looks like
    that anymore, most often she's telling Him to stop watching the Football and
    take out the garbage, or some such. That's where I differ from my Dad. If it was
    me, I'd just miracle the goddamn garbage bag into the trash can from the couch,
    but He actually gets up and does it. Says miracles aren't to be used for trivial
    stuff, or some such shit. I say: That's exactly what they *should* be used for.
    Using them for big stuff is way more likely to 'cause trouble. Like going around
    feeding thousands of people, and putting all the food vendors out of business.
    It's just one more thing we end up arguing about.

    Incidentally, the whole Mom and Dad thing is another reason I steer clear of
    religious chicks. Even when you get the occasional one who's cute and who
    doesn't seem messed up, I can't help but think at the back of my mind, would she
    even be talking to me if I wasn't the son of the son of God? And if we were
    making out or getting it on, would she be thinking about my Dad, or even my
    Grandpa? Ewwww. It's bad enough knowing that Grandpa is always watching me when
    I'm doing stuff like that.

    Oh, and that reminds me of the absolute worst experience of my life. Listen to
    this and tell me if any possible family bullshit you have can ever compare. I'm
    thirteen years old, and I'm turning into a typically horny teenage kid. One day,
    a guy at school puts a porno mag in my schoolbag, as a joke. They all know about
    my Dad and think it's super funny to pull stuff like that. Anyway, I find it
    when I get home, and I'm looking through it, and there's some pretty hot chicks
    in there, up to all kinds of business. So, for the first time, I start to do
    what comes naturally. Next thing, there's this flash of light, and my Grandpa's
    voice booms out, saying "STOP THAT!"

    Seriously, what the fuck, right!? Can you imagine the horror and mortification?
    Even worse, He went and told my Dad, who proceeds to give me a lecture and make
    me promise never to do it again. I promise, and of course a week later I'm back
    doing it again. Another flash, another "STOP THAT!", and another lecture from my
    Dad. This time I last a whole month, but of course eventually I break. This
    time, when my Grandpa yells at me to stop, I yell right back. I tell him to quit
    watching me and keep His perverted omnipresent ass out of my business and out of
    my room. Well, that was the last time He ever bothered me about that, but it
    still freaks me out something awful knowing He's probably watching whenever I
    jerk off or make it with a chick.

    At least at NYU I have a few buddies who pretty much treat me normally. There's
    Chris and Isfaar, who I met 'cause we have the same major (Social and Cultural
    Analysis). Chris is an atheist, so he doesn't care about my family 'cause he
    thinks it's all bullshit. I mean, I've literally performed miracles in front of
    him and he's like, nah bro, don't believe it. And Isfaar's Muslim, so he doesn't
    care too much. He just thinks my Dad is an important prophet, by no big deal
    compared to Mohammed. And squaring the circle there's Hannah, who we met at a
    Vampire Weekend gig. She's short and she's loud and she's Jewish, albeit non-
    practicing. Me and Hannah like to joke that if we ever got together, all our
    parents would have a coronary apiece. Together, the four of us sound like the
    setup to a bad joke, but we're a pretty tight little circle.

    Anyway, they're all chill about my family situation. They'll give me shit about
    my "groupies" when some religious floozy is hanging around me, but they do their
    best to shield me from it as well, 'cause they know how much I hate it. We
    decided to all rent an apartment together for our second year, which might have
    been a disaster, but actually turned out great. We had an awesome party right
    after we moved in. I filled up the whole bathtub with water and turned it into
    beer. Chris got absolutely slaughtered because he drank about a gallon of it,
    insisting it was still just water. The guy's committed to his beliefs, I'll give
    him that. Nowadays we spend the evenings marathoning shows on Netflix, playing
    XBox, and helping construct Hannah's weird installation art pieces.

    I dunno why I decided to write all this. Maybe more for my own sake than for
    anyone else's. I guess I wanted to communicate who I am a little better, both to
    myself and to anyone else who might read it. Being Jesus' son is not something I
    chose, and I often wish I was just part of a regular family, but there's nothing
    I can do about it. Hopefully, what I've written might at least convince people
    that while my family is a big, inescapable part of my life, it doesn't completely
    define me. I want to carve out my own path.

    I guess, what I'm hoping is that, when I die, there'll be something more on the
    headstone than just "Here lies the son of the son of God". Is that too much to
    ask?

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      darknation said:

      Heh, I quite liked this. It's an entertaining concept. As to how... American it is, I'm not quite sure. I think American writing, I think Hunter S. gonzo style writing. Fear and Loathing locked in the toilet with a copy of Hustler. Or Chuck Unpronounceable, choke, fight club etc. Short, ripping sentences. High impact.

      You planning on digging any deeper into this idea? There are a lot of interesting scenarios I can envisage from this conceit. Can't help but remember the assassination of Pope John-Paul, or maybe some religious crazy deciding to martyr Jesus' son as some batshit insurance policy for his own sin.

      I'm no help with the actual sentence structure or any stylistic issues you might be debating internally I'm afraid, mainly because my inner editor is a fucking Nazi from Hell. Still, for what it's worth, I enjoyed it.

      Praise from Caesar! Glad people have enjoyed it. It started out as a piece of free writing, I wrote the first sentence on a whim, then just went with it and tidied it up when I was finished. I hadn't planned to do anything else with it, but given how easily the ideas flowed, I might. I've always liked writing and reading about mythology in a way that grounds it in contrasting, banal reality. The problem is moving it beyond a gimmick, which works well enough in a short piece where you can play fast and loose with the ridiculousness of it, to something longer where I'd have to work out the mechanics of the situation properly, without losing what makes it fun to begin with.

      By an American voice, I didn't really mean a literary voice, just literally trying to capture the nuances of American diction. Sort of like Neil Gaiman's American Gods, where he's clearly worked hard to eliminate any trace of 'Britishness' from his prose. I'd like to try the former as well, but it would require re-immersing myself in the authors you mentioned for a while to get the feel for it.

      Processingcontrol said:
      Awesome story, but if you're going for an American voice you better replace "row" with "fight".

      Cool, thanks. I'm exposed to enough American culture that I can get the broad strokes, but smaller word choices like this are harder to get right.

      exp(x)said:
      I didn't read the whole thing, but it seems heavily influenced by Catcher in the Rye. The use of "phonies" was the first thing that tipped me off.

      Definitely. I was aware when I was writing it that I was channelling Salinger to an extent, and did worry "phonies" might be a little too on the nose. It's pretty hard to write in a "young" voice without recalling The C in the R to some extent, its influence on writers and readers is just so huge.

    2. (See 9 other replies to this status update)

  22. I have no idea whether I've talked about this before or not, but I've been dating a girl whom I met at work nearly 3 years ago.

    We've had some bumpy patches, no different than almost all relationships, but for the most part the relationship is highly functional. There is a fair amount of overlap between our interests. Maybe not so much in terms of life goals. She wants a family, or at least to live with me. I want good times.

    On several occasions she brought up the topic of moving in together (she's been living in her sister's house for 4 years, halfway across the city). I said that would only happen if we signed a legal document first, which she said she would never do. I also said that she would have to pay 1/3 of the expenses, which she wasn't happy about. After a while of explaining my reasoning, she seemed to agree that it was fair. (She currently chips in a couple hundred a month to her sister, that's about it, so it's not surprising that she has a hard time facing reality.)

    I wasn't sure if I was comfortable with the idea of moving in, though. If she turned into some kind of monster, I'm not sure how easy it would be for me to kick her out. So I decided to offer a "small" commitment to see what effect it had on our relationship. I brought up the idea that the 2 of us should take a weekend trip to Toronto, catch 3 baseball games, hit the nightclubs, maybe edgewalk the CN tower, all my treat. She seemed pretty excited about it, but wanted some time to think. After a week, I asked her if she was still up for it. She said yes.

    A few days later, I booked the flights. Then found a decent hotel with a great location and booked that. I let her know that everything was going ahead. Probably a few days later, she asked me "can you cancel the reservation"? Surprised by this, I said not really. The flights can be postponed, but not refunded. "But what if we have an argument?" I basically said there's no point in being negative about it, and you have to be willing to take some chances in life.

    In the past few months, we've had a lot of fun. I've taken her on two snowboarding trips, and most weekends she's here where the two of us play Diablo II and Ticket to Ride.

    But things this weekend were simply too much for me to handle.

    I invited her over Thursday night to play Diablo II. She insisted that I take the bus to her house to come get her that night. This is a recent habit of hers which is somewhat annoying to me. It's not a safety issue or anything. She just feels it's more "fair" if I come get her since I don't have a car. It's a 45 minute bus ride for her, but it's a nearly two-hour bus ride round-trip for me. That's a huge chunk of my evening, and precludes me from doing other things such as cooking/exercise/laundry. She asks me where my grocery bags are. (???!). I said I didn't bring them, why? She said "Oh, I thought you needed groceries tonight." I needed a couple of things, but nothing that couldn't wait til the weekend. "Oh, I thought you were getting groceries, that's why I asked you to come! You didn't need to come get me if you weren't getting groceries!" Sidenote: She definitely did not give any indication that she was willing to come over if I didn't escort her.

    More than a little annoyed at this point. I stew for a while, but by the time we get back to my place, I've pretty much let it go.

    So we play Diablo II for an hour, maybe two. I get to the point where I can barely stay awake, so I lay down for a few minutes. She protests. "Let's beat Andariel, then we can go to bed." I summon the energy and we finish the act.

    Friday, we play off and on. I want to switch up the activities and watch a little TV, but she wants to continue playing Diablo II. She's becoming more and more assertive with her demands. At this point, I'm caving maybe half the time, and doing what I want the other half.

    We spend maybe another hour or 2 that afternoon on Diablo II. I said I'm getting tired of being inside all day, and maybe we should go out. She thinks about it and decides it's a good idea. So we take the bus to The Keg, where we enjoy a meal that we both find excellent - steak, iceberg salad, calamari, and cider. We're both having a great time.

    We get back and play another 2 hours, and I'm once again worn out for the day. I say I'm just not up for it anymore tonight. She protests, and after losing the argument, she curls up on the couch and goes to sleep.

    She stays there the whole night.

    Saturday afternoon, after maybe another hour of playing, I say I'd like a 5 minute nap. Severe whining and complaining ensues. I say "Why can't you just give me 5 minutes?" She responds that we've hardly been playing, this is the whole reason she came here, and I've had plenty of rests already. I'm really getting annoyed at this point, so I ignore her. Literally 5 minutes later, maybe not even that, she says "Let's play!" I still haven't shaken off the drowsiness.

    I decided I've had enough. I said I don't want to play with her if she's going to give me such a hard time about it. She enters insta-pout mode, plugging in her headphones loading up Netflix on her laptop. She spends the next 3 hours watching some TV show.

    Around 5pm, she finishes her season of whatever on Netflix and accounces that she's hungry. Leftovers? No, she wants KFC. Knowing they charge ridiculous delivery fees and give crap value for the money even without delivery, I offer to take the bus to the grocery store a grab some chicken and salad, a 1-hour trip. I get back. We eat.

    Then she says that we haven't been playing enough. This is pretty much when TSHTF. I tell her that she's acting like a princess and I'm tired of her entitled attitude. She says something along the lines of "you don't care about me anyway". I mentally freak out, but manage to keep my composure. I explain all the ways I've shown her how I care for her recently. She says she doesn't like the fact that I'm "keeping count". And that what I've done is nothing special, and that where she comes from, men are expected to take care of women in that fashion.

    At this point I basically start destroying her arguments and pointing out every little bit of hypocrisy in what she's saying. She evades every one of these by changing the subject as much as possible. She mentions how bad I made her feel one time when I said her perfume was too strong and I didn't like it. I explain that it's no different than the time she complained about me wearing a sweaty shirt after coming back from the gym. I said there's a reason why they ask people not to wear strong perfumes in public places. She says the two are completely different, that sweat is offensive and perfume is not.

    I point out all the commitments I've made and things I've done for her recently, including having a personalized jersey made for her to wear on our trip. She say "What, are you saying you want me to buy things for you too? You want me to take you on vacations?" I tell her that's not what I want at all. What I would like is for her to be considerate enough to let me rest when I feel tired. I tell her that I do 20 times for her what she does for me, and she's still unwilling to let me have a few breaks now and then.

    The argument degrades to the point where I feel like I'm talking to a 12 year old, then a 5 year old, and then finally a 3 year old. I reach my limit and finally leave the room. She marches after me and insists that we talk. I say that I don't know what there is to talk about.

    She stands there for a few seconds, and then announces that she's not going on any trip with me. This is a trip where I've basically committed $3000, pretty much all non-refundable. I mentally say fuck it, and go to bed.

    Sunday morning I'm still pissed off to the point of utter silence. The dishes have been piling up for days, and I point this out. It's kind of an unmentioned understanding that she takes care of the dishes when she's eating my food and sleeping in my bed. She says that it hurts for her to stand because she has a stomach pain. I just shake my head. She finally storms off to do the dishes, and halfway through she sits down and starts sobbing. What I see is so beyond pathetic that I have absolutely nothing to say.

    After she's done, at 11am, she asks me if I want to talk. (I need to leave at 11:30 for a practice.) Again, I say I don't know what there is to talk about. She again states assertively that she's done and she's not going on any trip. I leave at 11:30. She leaves probably at 12.

    No contact since.

    I guess I should be thankful that I made a relatively "small" commitment. Now I know how she treats someone when she's given any upper hand whatsoever.

    And likely enough, she will come back apologizing in a few days. She'll probably go on the trip with me, which is a very important event for me by the way. It will be the first time I've ever been at a baseball game, and the seats I got us are quite amazing.

    Still, the very fact that she would threaten to ruin this trip for me is pretty much a deal-breaker. I can't see us going anywhere other than our separate ways once we return, assuming she really is a decent enough person to come along.

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      fraggle said:

      Relationships are built on trust and respect. You don't trust or respect her, so it's time you ended the relationship.

      No, no, no. Relationships are built on Diablo 2 and legal documents, it's the AndrewB way.

      You should make her sign a legal document not to be a major princess. In fact, any time she gets uppity or 'entitled', destroy her arguments like a robot, then whip out a legal document. Pretty soon you'll have legal-documented your way to a perfect relationship.

    2. (See 47 other replies to this status update)

  23. So, I signed up for a dating site for the hell of it (wasn't really taking it seriously), and it matched me up with a profile of a really cute girl. In her description, she posted her username for tumblr, so I Googled it out of curiosity, and found a goldmine of nude pics that she voluntarily uploaded. I was quite surprised, and I don't really know what to think of this. From how she described herself in her description, she seems like a very nice, caring and loyal person, but jesus she seems like a camwhore.

    Should I look past the apparent sluttiness if she's actually a nice person, or should I avoid trying to contact her on the dating site?

    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      I don't think we can accurately judge this situation until you provide us a link to the tumblr page.

    2. (See 25 other replies to this status update)

  24. Are you serious? Is this how you really want to run your site? Why don't you show a little appreciation to the people who provide content to your website and make it popular? I never spammed your site. I never went out of my way to offend people or hurt their feelings. I'm basically donating my time to give advice, as I see it, to others, and you can't even be bothered to send me a message talking about your problem. No polite request, no warning, nothing.

    I've received plenty of "Like"s for my posts and I haven't had a single person complain to me about anything I said. But apparently, none of that matters to the power-hungry control freaks running this site.

    I've posted on many, MANY web forums over the years, but NOTHING compares to the incompetence in how your moderator/administrator, or whoever, demonstrated in handling this situation. Maybe I should be thankful that people like you are administrators of marriage websites instead of police officers or judges.




    1. Jonathan

      Jonathan

      From searching that forum, there seems to be plenty of people throwing the n-word around. Clearly, you should make it your mission to report each and every one of them. The moderators will struggle under the mass of these reports, and the banned users will lead a popular outcry against the repressive policies of their crazy relationship forum.

    2. (See 28 other replies to this status update)

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