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DesertEagle

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About DesertEagle

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  1. DesertEagle

    John Romero makes first new Doom map in 21 years

    "What the hell is hurting me...? Wait, THIS little sector?" Yep, it's old-school. <3 EDIT: Annnd just beat it. That was grand. Not a whole lot of gaming communities getting this kind of support 20+ years after the fact. Today was a good day.
  2. DesertEagle

    Romero makes a new map for Doom

    Just saw this on Romero's Facebook, came here to get/give hype. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
  3. I've been here for over 10 years, posting or lurking, under one (banned) name or another. This is what gets DOOM back into the mainstream. I don't know how to feel about that, besides retrospectively unsurprised. With that said, this is funny, creative shit. Good job. EDIT: Though I am curious, what prompted the last online-user blowup?
  4. DesertEagle

    Halloween thread

    Little boy comes up to our door. He doesn't say "Twick or Tweat." Instead... Boy: Candy, please. Older sister: You don't say that! Boy: But I like candy... *cue the studio audience "Awwwwwwwww!"*
  5. DesertEagle

    Odd question for you???

    We had a tabby cat named Ralph. Appropriately named, he threw up on the furniture a lot. I remember when he drank out of the toilet, and how fascinating I thought that was - I'd thought only dogs did that. I wouldn't say that I was "fascinated" when he drank out of a toilet that hadn't been flushed. I also remember when he thought the indentation in my beanbag chair would be just great to piss in. The chair was subsequently thrown out. Beyond that, he was a pretty lazy bastard, save for the occasional bird slaughter. Which was great. His kidneys screwed up somehow, and he had to be put down. R.I.P.
  6. DesertEagle

    the most useless doom weapon

    If we are arguing x weapons' usefulness in relation to Doom's generally intended gameplay, I would not justify the fists' usefulness with the existence of Tyson play. Tyson gameplay is subjective, in that the player actively chooses to limit their arsenal, ignoring other, more useful weaponry. Tyson play goes by self-imposed rules that elevate the fists' otherwise lacking function in the game. In other words, the fists are always lacking usefulness unless a player decides to go Tyson, which gives them usefulness. Unless you get a berserker pack, then you can really rock some shit. As for my opinion on the initial question... Taking into consideration the fists' berserker capability... it's relative, really. In tight spaces with lots of light enemies (zombies to pinkies), I'd want something to plow through the enemies really fast - chainsaw. When the ranged enemies have plenty of breathing room (or are simply on ledges), I'd like to even the playing field a bit and give 'em a hot, lead kiss from 100 feet - pistol. But considering that (for me, anyway) a berserker pack won't be readily available most of the time, then the fists are definitely the worst thing to be stuck with. I'm tired, and I wanted to exercise my cognition in the cheapest, most easily accessible way possible. Leemee alone. EDIT: Didn't notice I was bumping an 11-day old thread. Fuck.
  7. DesertEagle

    Most Memorable Doom Experience

    Crying like a little bitch the first time I encountered the two Caco's at the beginning of Inferno. I was a little twerp and they scared me. Thing was, it was merely their appearance I found frightening; the computer I was playing on only had PC speaker noises and no music. So whenever I play Doom with PC speaker sound, it's pure nostalgia. You should try it sometime! In that regard, hearing E1M1's music for the first time was sweet.
  8. DesertEagle

    Screwed up police action

    But of course - heavily armed and camo'd grunts tear-gassing and kicking the crap out of some unarmed boys and girls, all of whom had been searched upon entry for drugs/weapons at a 100% legit gathering, is totally justifiable. Bullshit.
  9. DesertEagle

    whats your first memory?

    I have the image of being in a stroller in a greenhouse, but that's about it.
  10. "I watch bad movies in my own home because I'm insane. I've been driven mad by them, and like heroin, I keep wanting more, even though it's collapsing my heart." -Mike Nelson

    I don't know why I keep buying and watching cheesy action flicks, I just do.
    I probably just get a kick out of Commies popping out of nowhere to attack Dolph Lundgren, or a midget attack squad putting the hurt on Sho Kosugi.

    Let's take a gander at my bad movie collection:
    9 Deaths of the Ninja - Stars Sho Kosugi, taking on a half-retarded terrorist leader and the ugliest midget attack squad you'll ever see.

    Army of One (aka, Joshua Tree) - I could just say that this stars Dolph Lundgren and be done with it. But I could also mention that this stars George Segal (the boss from Just Shoot Me) as the bad guy, and has a cameo from legendary B-movie stuntman, Al Leong. My favorite part is when Dolph gets twelve shots out of a revolver without reloading.

    Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever - Plot-out-the-window action flick. There's entertainingly bad, then there's just bad bad, even by my standards. Banderas looks hung-over throughout the duration of the film. It gets points for not going so low as to have Lucy Liu strip to her skivvies to raise interest.

    Invasion U.S.A. - Commies are attacking the United States and only Chuck Norris can stop them. One-liners + explosions + Commies + Chuck Norris = gold.
    "I'll give ya so many rights, you'll be begging for a left."

    Red Scorpion - My personal favorite Dolph Lundgren movie. He plays a Spetsnatz agent, and stuff gets shot up, blown up, and beat up for some reason or another. There might've been a plot in there, I'll have to check. Commies spawn out of nowhere. M. Emmett Walsh swears enough to make a tourettes-stricken sailor blush.
    Soviet officer: "Are you out of your mind?"
    Dolph: "No... just out of bullets."

    Revenge of the Ninja - Another movie starring ninja master Sho Kosugi. Poor guy, his whole family get annihilated by a ninja gang in the first three minutes. Best part is when a kid (his son, I guess) takes a ninja star right between the eyes. Ha!

    Shaft's Big Score - Shaft bangs every chick and her mother. Once in a while, someone gets shadow-boxed to a pulp or shot to carry interest throughout the sluggish plot.

    I never find myself laughing at comedies, but gratuitous and pointless violence gets me every time. Go figure.

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. Lüt

      Lüt

      I've watched the Matrix Reloaded 8 times and enjoyed it the last 6.

      For you however, I would recommend Nowhere to Hide. If you can get past the first 20 minutes, it becomes a great film to mock with a group of people. For some reason it gets relatively high ratings and reviews from a lot of people, but that just goes to show there's a lot of people who have no standards when it comes to entertainment.

    3. DesertEagle

      DesertEagle

      You'll have to elaborate a bit, L(accented u)t. There's three movie results on imdb.com for Nowhere to Hide.
      There an Asian one from '99, another from '87 and another from 2002.

      Another cheesy action flick I enjoyed was Death Wish 3, with it's awful soundtrack by Jimmy Page.
      When the men, women and children started dancing among the gangbangers they'd just killed, I just laughed at the sheer madness of it.

    4. Danarchy

      Danarchy

      Linguica said:

      I hate bad movies and yet I get paid to watch them

      You get paid to write those articles?

  11. DesertEagle

    Plasma Gun

    Its look was goofy. Then again, it was based off a modified toy the id crew got at a Toys 'R' Us, if memory serves me right. Other than that, I don't have any quarrel with the thing.
  12. DesertEagle

    How old is the universe

    For all I know, it's as old as I can remember and it'll cease to exist when I die.
  13. DesertEagle

    What movie would YOU remake?

    Manos: The Hands of Fate. NOW WITH AWESOEM CGI EFFECTS!!! As for the remake of The Wall, Roger Waters expressed that the one thing that made the movie seem very flawed to him was its lack of humor. So, he's hoping to incorporate that into his upcoming play adaptation of The Wall for Broadway.
  14. DesertEagle

    Popup advertising just keeps getting better

    "Body Type: Curvy" Technically, everybody's curvy. What would really help is telling me where it's generally concave/convex, y'know?
  15. DesertEagle

    Heaven in DOOM

    On Heaven in DOOM: There'd be 255 lighting everywhere, cloud textured floors and a pleasant blue skybox. I imagine there'd be an edge to it somewhere, with a 15,000 (more or less) sector depth drop back to earth. On Christians and DOOM: I imagine some evangelical Christian mothers might have a problem with their children being corrupted by MUS metal. That's a bit of a stretch, I s'pose. But perhaps, not that much. Then there's the blood 'n' gore. Just the sight of it, pixellated or not, really makes some people uncomfortable. My mother (Southern Baptist - wheee) was quite displeased with me when she saw I had borrowed a copy of DOOM for the 32X from a friend years ago. She read the back of the box before we even pulled out of his driveway, takes me home, gives me a talk on how Satan is trying to corrupt me through stuff like this, and hides it behind a picture. Oh well, had the game on the family's 486DX2-66, anyway, so there.
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