Quast

I tend to think nothing but wierd shit happens to me...I never seem to have normal encounters with people

I get off work about 4:30 and decide to stop at the gas station in town here to fill up my car.

As I'm washing my windows I hear a "hey man!" off behind me. I instinctively ignore it...a second later I was caught completely off gaurd as this black guy carrying a backpack suddenly appears in front of me. I though, "oh christ, hitchhiker". But he seemed too well dressed to be one.

He then started to explain that he worked for "marketing strategies" or some such bullshit, out of minneapolis...and that "they" "do this" to people aged 18 to 24. wtf?

I tried to tell him i was 25 (i'm 22).

"Nah man, you ain't 25"

"Yeah I am"

"Ah, well, it don't matter" wtf?

He then quickly opened the bag and pulled out a couple of boxes of cologne. The entire bag was filled with this shit. They were all the same even.

However, he tries to tell me that the two random ones he picked up were in fact different. wtf?

"Now this shit goes for $150 in stores. This stuff here I like to call 'the panty dropper', It's what I use when I take my girl out...yeah you know what i mean, my man"

He nudges me with his elbow and starts grinning and laughing.

"And this stuff here" as he picks up the other bottle "Is for when I'm with my boys and I don't want them to think I'm fruity"

At this point, I know something is wrong, so I decide to play along.

He then starts spraying one of then bottles and asks me to smell it and whatnot, then he hands me one of the bottles and asks me again to smell it. He must have asked me to smell that shit about 5 times.

And in all honestly, most purfume and cologne smells the same to me...but I say "yeah this one does smell different"

"actually, yes, that one is a little sweeter" wtf?

Now comes the hopeful sale. He tells me that "they" are stranded here and out of gas and wonders if I'd buy a bottle for $22. Not $25 or $20 but $22...wtf? For a supposed $150 value? What a deal! Because, he says, that "they" are on their way to brainerd. wtf? You don't pass through here on your way to brainerd from the cities. You just don't.

Now obviously, at this point I'm begining to think these are stolen. I mean, the boxes the bottles are in are beat the fuck up and simply tossed in a backpack. Why not a bigger box to keep 'em nice?

He tries desperately to get me to buy one, even lowering the price to $15. I had to show him my wallet for him to see I had only one $1 bill.

"Well shit, there's an ATM in the store there...are you sure you don't want to help me out?"

I was like "well, whatever dude, I don't want to buy any, end of story"

"ok then dude, but just don't come runnin to me what the chicks be runnin away from you"

He walks away as I walk into the store. I see him enter the passenger side of this beat up, old, rusty shit-ass extended cab truck and it drives off, takes a left and heads west, opposite of brainerd, toward motley... wtf?

I don't get it...was this shit stolen? was it legit? He was quite well spoken and dressed. Not to mention his speech and mannerisms were definitly that of someone trained in selling shit profesionaly...well, whatever

oh yeah, apparently I'm his "first white brother" too...kick ass