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Joseph Bergmann

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Status Updates posted by Joseph Bergmann

  1. Experiment NO. 67 - Usage of nettle for dopamine release stimulation

    From Wikipedia, "urtica dioica, often called common nettle or stinging nettle (although not all plants of this species sting), is a herbaceous perennial flowering plant, [...] divided into six subspecies, five of which have many hollow stinging hairs called trichomes on the leaves and stems, which act like hypodermic needles, injecting histamine and other chemicals that produce a stinging sensation when contacted by humans and other animals".

    It was during my latest field trip that I discovered this intriguing plant, and found a way to make great therapeutic use of it's defense mechanisms, and thought it would be nice to share the results of my experimentations here as well.

    Having in mind the hypodermic needles of nettle, the question of how it would feel to deliberately sting my genital organs with a specimen innevitably popped up.
    After meticulous disinfection of said specimen, I held the batch in a pair of surgical gloves and softly brushed it against the top of my penis.

    Initially it was hard to tell any difference, but soon enough my head started to swell and it felt surprisingly good. Subsequent rapid stroking of the penis resulted in an extremely firm errection, followed by a monstruous ejaculation, around 5 times more sperm then on a usual run.

    Sometime later, I've attempted the procedure again. The nettles had actually been picked about half an hour by the time the were applied again and, unlike my penis, had gone a little limp. As a result the leaves needed to be flicked quite hard against my glans in order to do the trick so I guess a fresher nettle harvest might have been preferable.

    However, the results were almost equally satisfactory as the last time. After sometime spent arousing myself with manual and oral sex I guided myself into a position from where I could penetrate my hand into a throbbing orgasm, once again.

    During the rest of the day (no more sexual activity), I felt a hint of very agreeable pain in the background, but nothing serious and it was gone by next morning.

    So there you have it, now you know a cool nettle trick that you can share with your friends, or perhaps try by yourself at home.

    Either way, make sure you let me know of your result, and tell me what you think! Cheers!

    1. Show previous comments  18 more
    2. 40oz


      I'm more fascinated with the oral sex than the nettles.

    3. printz


      I'd love to raise a nettle in my apartment. Why do people always only choose the safe plants?

    4. Obsidian


      Why did he have to be banned? I WAS ACTUALLY LEARNING SOMETHING!

  2. Hello everybody, I am Joseph Bergmann (friends call me Joe), I am a 48 year old resident of Moscow, Russia (I'm on a field trip to Romania right now, though). My primary occupation is that of a plant biologist, though I sometimes expand on this with other undertakings as well, such as field trips where I like to experiment with plants of foreign countries (like the one I'm on right now) and various hobbies (I mantain an underground hardcore rock act called Shadows of Crucifix, along with several of my friends, we sell our vinyls in the flea market here and split profits). I like to see myself as an open-minded individual, not afraid to try new things at the cost of inhibition, despite my age.

    Of course, I am huge fan of the ubiquitous Doom series (just like many here, I suspect), which is the primary reason of my coming here. I hope to contribute to these forums as much as I can, and perhaps share some of my thoughts and insights as well if the occasion calls for it.

    I'd like to get to know you people too, so tell me something about yourself too!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. scifista42


      Hello, I'm 20yo student of IT who has moderate knowledge about the Doom engine, scripting, mapping and modding, though I'm by far not very talented at the creative modding.

      I really hope that you're familiar with source ports and custom Doom maps and mods, and if not, that you'll familiarize with them soon. Doom's easy moddability and excessive amount of archived user-made content (some of it really quality) keeps this community alive. New maps and mods are being made and played every day.

      By the way, making "Hello" threads is prohibited on the forums (besides "blogs"), you should better read F.A.Q. first.

    3. Canofbacon


      I make Doom wads that no one likes.

    4. Obsidian


      Hi, I'm a lump of shiny volcanic rock.