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About Fonze

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  1. Mad Fonze: Fury Road


    People are interesting creatures and combined with the stress of driving 2-ton death machines with giant, glass price tags on their bumpers, you never know what behavior you will find on the road any time you go out. This is a short story of how my day began today immediately after leaving the house.


    I left my house on my way to work; plenty of time to get there, but I was speeding a bit out of frustration from an argument I just had. Not like I was going 50 mph in the neighborhood, but I was prolly going 35 in a 25. 2nd gear, so unlikely I went past 35, (the car would have been pushing 5k rpms at that point, which has a certain feel and sound). Still, I was speeding. Before exiting the neighborhood, I came up on a car that was going considerably slower; I slowed a bit to see how fast they were going (and because I'm not actually sure if you can legally pass somebody on a road without lines in a neighborhood, though obviously you can't be speeding up to reckless levels to pass somebody in a neighborhood; I'm just unfamiliar with that particular facet for the very rare situation of somebody driving too slow/slower than the speed limit). After a quick couple seconds (pacing about 10-15 feet back, so not tailgating) I went to pass them. Yeah, I'm an asshole, but not the type of asshole who gets in other people's way. I'm in and gone asap; I don't pass people I don't intend to drive faster than.


    Well, I went to pass this guy (around a bend) and he actually attempted to cut me off, to the point that he wound up in a driveway on the opposite side of the road he started on and I was in the grass, inches from hitting his car and about a foot away from a ditch. Of course I started braking as soon as I saw him fully cut off the road and at the same I knew I was going off-road, which is what saved me. I was honestly in shock at the time that I didn't hit his car. Thinking about it in retrospect, would it be his fault in this situation once it got to the point that I would have hit him in somebody's driveway? I don't know; I'm sure if there were an accident, an officer would issue me a ticket, perhaps reckless driving, but I think it'd be a bit messed up (aka believable) if he walked away without fault or a ticket. Whatever though; idle thoughts on something which didn't happen.


    So there we were stopped in some guy's driveway and yard; the driver got out of the car and started walking towards me. He wasn't saying anything yet, and in my shock over not hitting his car (he looked, heh)  and him getting out like this I didn't say anything either. I looked at him for a moment as he walked up and away from his driver's seat, then I put it in reverse, backed up, and went around him. Get this though, some kid was with him; 18 years old prolly. This kid gets out of the passenger seat and starts walking towards me as I backed up. Just a little threatening when a stranger cuts you off in somebody's yard, then gets out of the car, along with another adult-sized person (yeah they were both bigger than me), and both start walking up on you. Now, neither were big enough for me to assume defeat 1-on-1 (if it came to that), but when I saw the second person I was happily commited to putting it in drive and moving on. As I started to drive forward, the young guy stands in the middle of the available road and holds his hands out, like he's either wanting me to stop or wanting to get some nice hand-prints on my car as I run him down.


    Now, let me stop here to say don't ever, ever, do what this kid did. He was extremely fortunate that I maintained a level head and wasn't experiencing road rage or blinding fear; standing in front of a car who's driver is freaking out over a potential altercation and who was just attempted to be blocked in, or just standing in front of a car who's driver is really pissed off, is the perfect way to get run over. I'm not a saint; I'm an asshole. I maintained a level head because I didn't view it as anything in the first place when I went to pass the guy, because I was freaking out over almost hitting his car when he cut me off, and because I didn't ultimately care enough about the situation to devote time to it, which necessarily meant absolutely not hitting anything. Hell, I didn't even want to devote time to following a slow driver, let alone stand there and argue the morals of driving speeds, passing in neighborhoods, threatening people, and getting hit by cars.


    I managed to get around the kid and I sped right off. I might have lost a bit of time in the process, which kinda sucks, but at least I didn't have to drive behind that guy on approach to the intersection with the main road that people love to balk at, heh. They didn't follow me, or couldn't find me if they tried. Idk; don't matter, they continued with their lives and I continued with mine just the same as if they had just let me pass in the first place. I'll be the first to admit I'm at fault here and that I'm an asshole, but who are they to take it upon themselves to disperse their view of the "law?" Most roads in life are 2-way, and while I should have been patient instead of acting more self-important or whatever people think of speeders, can anyone put their hand over their heart, look another human being in the eye and say that if they were to put themselves in that driver's shoes and I were to have run that kid down for any reason, anger or fear; can anyone say they would feel no responsibility or remorse for their actions? I couldn't, but then again I'm the asshole in this equation, so take my side of the story with a grain of salt ;D

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. GarrettChan


      @DragonflyThis reminds me sometimes people like to walk in a row to block the whole sidewalk... It's kind of the same thing. I guess some of the people are not aware of surrounding, or they just simply don't want to. If anyone in the group of cyclist you mentioned has this awareness, probably they wouldn't be so annoying to everyone else.

    3. GarrettChan


      Mostly I don't get offended by slow drivers, and sometimes I tend to drive at my own pace. For example, I just stay at 65 mph on freeways, but I won't go into the inmost lane. However, I often get extremely offended by high beam behind me, and I always have a tendency to slow down and follow that guy and turn on the high beam... Yeah, sounds like an arsehole, I guess.

    4. Fonze


      Nah, high-beams are definitely a dick move; blinding somebody as they drive is just not a smart thing to do. Prolly not worth following the person, but definitely the part where it's time to either speed up and pray for no cops ahead or slow down and get behind them.