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NoPoet

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Everything posted by NoPoet

  1. NoPoet

    Doom2 1.9 wad bugs

    Ironic the number of people who are "fucking sick" of playing the original levels when there are so many "classic" style episodes about these days... I get what Nagelfar is saying. It seems strange that there would be an "official" patch that's full of strange bugs. Monsters stuck in walls is not the most professional way to make a game. I don't know, maybe Microsoft bought id Software. That's the only logical explanation.
  2. NoPoet

    Open Letter to Doom Fans

    But what about the "open letter"? Do you think that's fake too? It confirms virtually every rumour I have heard about the film.
  3. NoPoet

    Open Letter to Doom Fans

    Yes, but a lot of what was said in this "fake" interview was confirmed in the open letter, unless that was also fake...aargh, it makes my head spin. This film is going to be complete bollocks. End of story.
  4. NoPoet

    Open Letter to Doom Fans

    I'm confused. I heard that the Doom film was going to be set on some random planet. Do you mean to say it will actually be on Phobos? I didn't really mind them setting the Doom 3 story on the planet rather than its moons. At the end of the day it was still Doom. I'm not prepared to forgive the film for any deviation because it ISN'T Doom. By the way, I'd just like to point out that I have played most of the Community Chest 2 wad and if I was reviewing it, it would have earned a perfect score...just like the first CChest, which I was in the process of playing through when I gave up Doom for racing cars. :D There, I DO like some wads.
  5. NoPoet

    Open Letter to Doom Fans

    Maybe they chose retarded humans instead of CGI demons because today's CGI is, frankly, crap. It looks just as fake alongside real human beings as those old animatronic (or whatever it's called) skeletons in Jason and the Argonauts, or the Gorn in Star Trek: TOS. I still cannot see how three blokes called Goat, Baron and Pinky are supposed to be scary. I mean, Goat, Baron and Pinky for fuck's sake! They sound like the line-up for a children's television show. I know I used to bitch about E1 style wads (you play eleven of the bloody things back to back then try to smile), but I surprised myself by wishing for an E1 style film! I reckon we should make our own Doom film and release that. It would be laughable crap, but it's better than a load of Resident Evil bollocks with a SWAT team creeping around Uranus.
  6. NoPoet

    Open Letter to Doom Fans

    Pretty decent web comic featuring news of the Doom film here: http://penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2004-12-08&res=l
  7. NoPoet

    Open Letter to Doom Fans

    Perhaps not, but he's meant to be the "scary" one.
  8. NoPoet

    Open Letter to Doom Fans

    I come to check up on the progress of the Doom Community and find the some monkey with a typewriter has decided to take the royal piss out of everyone by remaking Ghosts of Mars and slapping a Doom label on it. What is the world coming to? Do we not have enough spasticated film makers bunging up the "Now Playing" lists with their half-arsed brain farts? Who in the world wants to watch a film about Doom that features none of the elements that actually constitute Doom? Let's review the brave new interpretation of Doom: The main villain, a retard with his arse glued to a chair (now THAT'S the villain to finally overshadow Michael Myers) will be played by none other than semi-talented Englishman and former Gamesmaster, Dexter Fletcher. Americans will know of his formidable talent: he got a bit-part in Band of Brothers. He managed to get about ten minutes' screen time in total. The rest of the cast seems to have been hand-picked from that well known elite acting core, the Sheik's Sons of Ummer Gummer Land. There are the usual token female parts played by two unknown pieces of totty: one will be the sexy, intelligent scientists with a cleavage that is bursting out of her tight top. She'll be attractive and unconventional, clear-headed in a crisis, and she'll be the sex object who survives to the end. The other will be the rough and tumble Vasquez rip-off who could beat any man at a wrestling match. There will be one male character who panics and nearly gets everyone killed; there will be another male character working to a secret agenda. The rugged male lead and the sensual female lead will take some time out from the cripple-bashing to have a quick shag in some shadowy room, their frolics accompanied by piano music. There'll be some blood, some nipple pokies (or peanut smuggling if you prefer), a few "really memorable" one-liners. I can just see Rachel Weiss starring in this piece of crap. If you think about it though there is one redeeming feature. I can't remember what it is. Oh wait, yes I can. The title is pretty ironic in an amusing way, because it sort of sums up the career prospects of all involved in this pointless tragedy.
  9. Hi everyone, Love it or hate it, I want you to have a look at my review site Pray for Death. Yes I know I used to say I hate Doomworld, but I didn't really hate it, I was just being a bitch. Everyone's a bitch now and then. I have changed a lot since the last time I was active on Doomworld. I apologise if I caused personal offence to anyone with my comments in the past. I hope you look at my reviews objectively instead of going in there expecting them to be crap. I want you to look at my reviews and let me know what I'm doing well and badly so that when the new-look site goes live in the summer I can get the damn things as close to perfect as I'll ever get.
  10. NoPoet

    Pray for Death returns to the fold

    Lads, I have made a decision about Pray for Death. I have decided not to continue reviewing Doom wads. There will be no further review updates. Suffice to say for now that I am genuinely tired of reviewing wads and my decision has nothing to do with any person or any previous hostilities. ;p UPDATE: Things are explained in greater detail on my website. Pray for Death Good luck with your wads, and may Doom live forever.
  11. NoPoet

    Pray for Death returns to the fold

    Well I'm no speedrunner, but when my life is in danger I'm no slouch either! I thought I had got "running away" down to a fine art while playing AV on ultra violence. Apparently not! EDIT: sorry if I'm being thick Ryback, but what does conniptions mean mate?
  12. NoPoet

    So this is what I have to do to get a girl?

    Smack her arse and say "Hello darling, fancy a curry?"
  13. NoPoet

    Pray for Death returns to the fold

    Just to address this point, I've played the map again several times and I just seem to randomly explode no matter how fast I run. The map is crap, accept it! ;p
  14. NoPoet

    Pray for Death returns to the fold

    Hello everyone! The drama queen is back. I forgot I had started this thread, sorry if it seemed like I was ignoring everyone. No, who's been criticising me this time? Do you mean in this thread? I have read it and found most of it to be very useful so thanks guys. Ryback, were you making a joke? Pray for Death is down for reasons unknown. I doubt it was a hacker attack because, well, what would be the point. I was working on updating the site but to be honest I have enjoyed my time away from Doom. So Pray for Death is no longer a priority for me. EDIT: If I do decide to abandon P4D then it won't be because of anyone bitching about me. I have moved on from that, if anyone else hasn't then I'm not bothered to be honest. I think I've just been insulted using 1337. I can't understand it since I'm older than 14 and I don't watch Pokemon, but I am all offended anyway. Don't start on Melfice either, he's a decent bloke, and without meaning to start another flame war or insult anyone here decent blokes seem to be few in the Community. Another reason why I haven't busted my balls trying to get P4D back up. Again, thanks for the constructive feedback guys.
  15. NoPoet

    Legacy Error

    Wow, you got PAR going on Legacy? Hmm, well it was months ago when I tried and I was using an older version of Legacy. I notice that the more recent the version of Legacy, the more complexity it can handle.
  16. NoPoet

    Legacy Error

    Most large maps are fine. It's the really huge ones maps with massive architectural detail like Phobos: Anomaly Reborn and Equinox map 13 that Legacy can't really cope with. If you're getting this error message on one of the standard Doom maps, I'd say there's some sort of problem either with Legacy itself. I run it on Windows XP with no issues. I'd recommend either seeing if there is a more up to date version of Legacy or just reinstalling the current version.
  17. NoPoet

    New Review Site

    [offtopic]Why thank you chaps, it's good to know I'm still being talked about. Myk! Darling! How are you? ;p Actually the Mock 2 review is the best move I ever made as it is 4 times more popular than the second most visited page on my site (the Monsters page). Come on, if I thought Mock 2 was crap I was always going to say so. That's what I do. I removed all names from the review to avoid looking like I was being personal. No-one has ever complained to me about it! Hopefully you'll agree my other reviews are a lot better today than they were this time last year. You may be glad to know I have got over myself and when Pray for Death is relaunched in a couple of months time, all mention of the bad stuff in the past will be gone. That's why I came back here - to see how things were after all this time.[/offtopic] Good luck with the review site, Fanatic! I hope you realise what bloody hard work it is ;p
  18. NoPoet

    Legacy Error

    That error message means the map won't run with Legacy. I think Legacy gets overwhelmed by trying to display too much detail at once. If you try ZDoom or (spit) Boom, you should be able to play the map with no problems. No Poet, resolving technical issues in the Doom Community since ten past eight.
  19. NoPoet

    Doom 64 - Worth the purchase?

    Oh God, here I come with different feelings. Why can't everyone agree with more for once?! ;p I didn't like Doom 64; I might be too much of a purist to appreciate the radical new direction Doom 64 took, but I found the following put me off: I thought the gameplay was too slow-paced compared to the PC and Playstation versions. The Doom Man moves like he's got one broken foot and a stiff knee. I didn't really like some of the new monster graphics. The zombies were as generic as ever, but the Imps, Lost Souls, Knights and Barons look damned funny. The weapon graphics were pretty shocking in general, and the less said about the stagnant, dreary environments the better! I think it was the appearance of the maps that put me off the most. On the up side it's still Doom - though it didn't feel much like it to me - and some of the new levels are actually very creepy. There are quite a few new ideas such as gargoyles that spit darts and the maps themselves can be very imaginative. The music is OK too, not as good as the excellent PSX soundtrack but still pretty atmospheric. If you can't get enough Doom then you might well enjoy it more than I did. If you want to go with popular opinion, yeah people here like it, but the game simultaneously bombed and got panned by critics when it was comercially released. Ironically the N64 went down soon afterwards!
  20. NoPoet

    The /newstuff Chronicles #176

    Sounds good! It would be excellent if you could have different ammo types, e.g. shotgun shells that came in solid slug/explosive/scattershot varieties. Not sure how that could be made to work though.
  21. NoPoet

    The /newstuff Chronicles #176

    My reason for asking is I have played hundreds and hundreds of maps (I think saying I have played 1,000 maps was being conservative) and I rarely see a map with as much trickery as we get in Bloodworks. That's not to say I don't enjoy playing "normal" Doom maps with the standard pseudo-3D environment, I just prefer visual and architectural tricks which add more depth to the environment.
  22. NoPoet

    The /newstuff Chronicles #176

    Advanced engineering does describe it better. There are some dodgy looking 3D effects in some Doom maps I've played, but not in Bob Larkin's maps. They always look fantastic. They represent fully immersive 3D environments with over-and-under bridges and walkways integrated as near perfectly as possible into the environment. It's a style which I prefer. I find that having played about 1,000 different maps, the new style wads with advanced engineering tend to be more exciting because they look so different from what I'm used to seeing. My real problem with the E1 style maps is that they are always too easy to beat. I think we're long past the days when a single Baron and eight handgunners makes for a difficult fight. If people still want E1 maps to be built, it would be good to see some hard-to-beat ones. Hell, that would even make ME happy!
  23. NoPoet

    The /newstuff Chronicles #176

    Have you played Bloodworks and Mitnal? They use an amazing array of visual tricks, especially Bloodworks.
  24. NoPoet

    The /newstuff Chronicles #176

    I couldn't view some of the screens - got error 404. Aaargh! More bloody E1 maps! I agree with Ultimate Doomer's reviews - they do actually look pretty good, but they cannot challenge today's experienced Doomers (even if E1M3 Reincarnated gives it a good try, and I thought this was a fun map to play). I'm biased against E1 style maps anyway since I must have played 200 of them while reviewing on Pray for Death. Does anyone here enjoy E1 themed maps? I am interested to know if people prefer them to the ultra hi-tech maps being built by Bob Larkin and, er, well just Bob Larkin.
  25. NoPoet

    Spankage

    One of the arena maps for Fragport is one of my all-time favourite levels. The one with the Barons. Playing that map with the chaingun is the most frightening experience in Doom. Looks like I've got some source port updates to download...
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