Chopkinsca

Cool, I'm being evicted. I have 2 months to get a game plan together in finding a new place.

So here's where I put a whole bunch of links to places you can support and help me, and you click on them or whathaveyou.

Consider supporting!

PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/jamespaddockmusic
KO-FI: https://ko-fi.com/jamespaddockmusic

PAYPAL DIRECT DONATION: https://www.paypal.me/jamespaddockmusic

Stream/share my music!

BANDCAMP: https://jamespaddock.bandcamp.com
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/jamespaddockmusic
SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/artist/314hpgysr1VwJSVGAZdWIC
 

Many thanks in advance and much love, Doomworld.

-- Jimmy

Feels like I'm going to be deepthroating a shotgun soon. I'm really tired of my existence and the lack of help available in regards to mental health. I don't feel like going the distance.

All right, I was hoping to keep this channel open for minimal communication with a select group of people for a few more days; but, since guilt tripping me because it took me longer than 48hrs to announce I won't be leading my community project has become the new black, here you have it before I log off the web site for at least a few months, maybe forever.

I had a psychological breakdown, and am checking myself into a mental health facility for an extended recovery. Excuse me if this is more important than a Doomworld community project; or more important than providing explanations to online strangers. Thank you very much.

I play doom on a recliner - love it cause it feels very different from working from home in front of a desk which I do upstairs - I really can't play any other way. Laptop hooked to tv and wireless keyboard, mouse and mic - this served me well but my mic broke ... it may be a while before I can order a replacement cause I can't find it locally. Which means I have to this ridiculous temporary setup with multiple USB extension cords and a hope the cats don't fuck with it ....

^{Disclaimer: My original thread got nuked, deleted.}

Banning of WADs, Hyper–Moderation and the Recent Issues at Doomworld

Disclaimer 2: I couldn't publish this first because the DBPs thread is locked.

Hello everybody. If you haven’t heard of me, my name is Endless and I am a self-called WAD addict. I love Doom and I love the custom content. I’ve been playing on and off since 2013, if my memory doesn’t fail. I’m also the creator and editor-in-chief of the Doom Master Wadazine, a free fanmade e-magazine dedicated to the Doom saga. In other words, I love Doom.

I like to think that I’ve been part of this community since 2017 or so, when I started to become a bit more active. Before that I just lurked a lot, seeing all the stuff happening and things going on. It is with great pleasure and satisfaction that I began to realize that this was a close-knit activity, full of passionate creators, artists, programmers and fantastic multi-talents sweating gold. I was fascinated by the idea that such an old video game had such a large and active group in the modern day.

Yet now, I’m starting to believe that there’s something wrong going on behind the curtains. Since recent memory, some things have occurred that have shaken me slightly regarding my faith in this place and this community. I usually stay away from drama and shitposting, but today I’m honestly hurt, not necessarily by one single action, but the accumulation of various things. Before starting, I want to express some of the points that have led me to create this:

- The total ban of the Doomer Boards Projects.

- The increase in moderation activity.

- The decrease in infrastructure activity regarding Doomworld.

- The highly inclusive stance that’s not actually inclusive.

- My personal opinions (Oof, what a dangerous thing to say).

1.      The total ban of the Doomer Boards Projects:

The very first point and the thing that really made me tear up a bit today. If you've been a follower of my reviews or activity (thank you very much by the way) it's no secret that I've been a big fan of the Doomer Boards Projects since the day I met them. From Monuments of Mars to Auger;Zenith, I've played the vast majority of the projects and reviewed them. Each WAD has been a delight to play and something I have thoroughly enjoyed. Some WADs have stuck in my memory, becoming almost a nostalgic part of my journey through Doom. There is no doubt that this series is the most consistent series of WADs in quality and number in the history of Doom. 39 projects, if I'm not wrong, and if I could give an overall rating to all of them, I would say: great. Now, that's my opinion of the WADs, of the maps, of the art created, and here comes my problem.

Suddenly (maybe not so suddenly) they’ve been banned from being published on Doomworld (and probably also promoted, which would get me in trouble) I'm honestly not sure. A percentage of the authors have been former creators of these forums who were previously banned, some even before I was on Doomworld. The creation of the Doomer Boards was born out of this. Personally, I don't care much. If I don't like the person, I don't interact with them, but if their work is good, I have the decency to at least not shit on them. Apparently the Doomworld staff considers them misogynists, xenophobes, racists, terrorists? Idk. I'm sure that more than one of them is like that, but all of them? No. I've met great map authors who started out on the Doomer Boards and I'm pretty sure they're none of those things. Probably the key word among all the accusations is that they are fascists. A word that carries weight but seems to lose relevance. Now it's just a sort of insult used to accuse someone you don't like.

And in the end, they decided to ban the projects altogether. I'm sure there are members that the DW staff hates from there, but I'm sure there are others who simply wanted to create maps for the projects and yet they completely screwed them up too.

I think this is NOT OKEY. I'm not as old as the community, but I'm sure this is the first time WADs or Mods have been banned completely from any kind of publication for posterity. Not even terrywads had this much moderation. I am a person who believes in free speech and the right to create. Regardless of whether you like them or not, or consider them ''fascists'', the future of the entire projects did not deserve to be banned for the actions of others. I will use a simple expression for this: Separate artist from art. I'm sure more than one will point out that the projects promote negativity or whatever. One of the examples given is that the projects should be banned because they promoted the Doomer Boards page. The image in question seems totally harmless to me. But apparently it is treated and seen as a propaganda act that results in the creation of some sort of army full of ultra-right wingers and I don't know what else... and yet DB doesn't even have 500 members.

Before this there was the discussion about whether or not Auger;Zenith would win an award. Honestly, I was sure it wouldn't, but I never expected that they would ban the projects completely. What does this mean for me now? I will probably receive subtle threats as I have received before if I decide to promote WADs. Maybe not, but I doubt it. Oh, also, why lock the announcement thread? Can’t the DW members voice their opinions there?

And this last paragraph might be a bit paranoid, but I feel like this could just be a chain reaction. Suddenly, more and more WADs could be outright banned for reasons that seem to trivial or might not even be known.

2.      The increase in moderation activity

I initially thought this was a good thing. Finally, a new wave of moderators to help out the increase in activity. It ends up resulting in something mixed. While I appreciate the moderation when it comes to shitposting or attacking posts, I've found that it's become a bit of a content blocking and banning party for the slightest offense. I think we can all agree that there’s more closed threads or downright deleted posts now a days than ever before. If something breaks the rules, then first make the rules clearer please, and in the end, I think it is better to keep threads locked than to delete them completely. At least the evidence works as a guide of what not to do.

3.      The decrease in infrastructure activity regarding Doomworld.

Oh, this is not really a new one. Since 2016, Doomworld hasn’t changed pretty much at all, and is on a decadent state that’s quite shameful to be honest. Some problems that need fixing will probably never be fixed, and the first excuse of it tends to be that it’s impossible because the forum software doesn’t allow it. The truth is that I am not an expert in this technical subject, so take this as a customer's opinion; the news section is dead, the Downloads section is dead, and this is a serious one that personally hurts newcomers who wish to have their WADs in some sort of download center or modern WAD repository. The threads section is a mess, and it was supposed to be fixed, but there seem to be no changes. I think that rather than a problem, this is an example of a simple lack of interest or power in wanting to fix it. I guess it's not as important as it used to be. A homepage would work wonders too. On a side note, I have to credit the recent increase of concern and activity regarding one single administrator that’s trying to get shit fixed.

4.      The highly inclusive stance that’s not actually inclusive.

Doomworld frames itself as a very welcoming community that accepts you in any shape or form. This was something I really liked and felt especially nice because I been an outcast for too long in real life. I was feeling welcomed here, like I belonged for once. This didn’t last.

First of all, the early days of Doomworld were not as acceptable as they are now. And don't tell me Doomworld was a less toxic place compared to the rest of the internet. It was full of idiots, abusive, violent moderators and the like. Read some of the older threads (/newstuff for example) and you will quickly realize that everyone was immature. The very foundation of DW was a toxic one. It's a good thing that they changed over time, but as much as they changed, they also brought the problem of hyper moderation. Now there is a fear of any kind of discussion, opinion that is not acceptable or divergence in beliefs or any ideology. While the truth is that I don't care if they argue or not in any kind of forums, I find it improper to point fingers at other places or people for being fascists, when here the cradle itself still has stains of a dirty past.

5.      My personal opinions (Oof, what a dangerous thing to say).

I don’t really enjoy drama or making discussions in a place where the main subject is related to a videogame, not real-life issues, but I think this is the time I speak out. There is a certain Doomworld elite (the very word elite sounds silly but I think it describes it well), while this sounds like a stupid conspiracy, I have been involved on some of this issues myself. I don't think it's worth naming names or sentencing titles, but certain members of the Doomworld staff are abusive, self-centered and armed with power/influence. I have had discussions that could have been handled in a more civilized manner, but instead I have had to deal with sarcastic comments, heavy handed accusations, threats to cut off relationships and remove my support. This is because I am editor of the Wadazine, a magazine dedicated to Doom and WADs in particular, and the only one of its kind in this community. So, if I publish something that’s deemed as offensive or not-likeable, well, I’ll get in trouble. I already did I believe. However, I have no major support from the staff, a few great members have promoted me every once in a while, but it seems that everything has fallen silent since certain problems started to rise, and I didn't turn back to fully praise the opinions of others high members.

I love Doom, I love that it has been alive for almost 3 decades and it’s more popular than ever. But I don’t know if I love the community that much anymore. I support neither Doomworld, which abuses power and hides intentions behind moderation actions, nor Doomer Boards, which is full of unfunny shitposting and seems to complain more about Doomworld than playing Doom. After that, I don't even know what other forum is left alive. Doomworld is practically the central hub for everything Classic Doom related, but, unfortunately, it has become a quasi-political network by this point.

And it has reached a breaking point for me. I’m just sad, to say the least. I like to create content, activity, play WADs, write about them and so on, but now it seems that the focus of the community is elsewhere.

Oh, and by the way, as a disclaimer: This is Endless opinion, not the Wadazine opinion or even the teams, these are my word and what I think. If you want to discuss, you discuss with me.

God damn it.

I don't know if I'm going to live past 2021 after all.

Your ears are ģ̵̡͕͔̺̐̐̑͐̀̀̄͐̃́̐͛͒̎͘̕̕̕͠l̸̡͔̤̳̠̜͖͇̻̭͚̝͛͋͌̎͋̀̈́̋̈́͛̎̓͆̇̈́͌̅̊̾̾̍̈̒̔̅̋̚͜͠i̶̢̨͎͉͕̬͙͚̣̻̝͔̲̬̦̤̖͍̯̰̹͈͇̦̙̩̦͌̈́͒͂̌̾̆̃͜͜͝͠ͅͅt̵̡̛̼͕͈̞̰̞̺͉̼͙̞̭̣̠̙̹̞̼͖͙̣̝̓̆͌͆̍͂̓̽͒̆̽͊͛͋̇͛̋͊͆͗̒͑̿͒̎͘͜ć̷̠̙͔͐͛̏̈͆̐͒͆̀̀̆̿͊̀̂̑̀̀̒̈́̉́͑̉̍̕̚̕͠͝͝h̶̢̡̧̨̧̛̛̬̮͈̪͉̥̦̠͙͈̲̮͈̜̤̹̣͎͓͓̜̯̟͎̜͉̭̣̝͗̋̈́̓̀͗̔̈̒̐͘͝ỉ̸̡̛̛̹̤̳̲͖̠͙͕̩͇̇̈́̍̈́́̍̀͐́͐͐̒̋̆̒̇͜͠n̶̡̧̢̡͉̭̣̥̖̗̫̰͕̝̱̯̲̳̗̫͔̝̰̺̼͕͖̬̱̄̋͑̿͑̎̿͂̆̽͘̚͜g̴̤̬̙̾́̎̾̉͒̎͂̓͋̉́̇̇̍̀̒̕̕

I finally live up to my username

I finally live up to my username

What Doom mod is on the background image of your profile?

What Doom mod is on the background image of your profile?

I wonder what kind of maps I'd be making if I didn't drop off the Doom modding scene for 10 years.

I wonder what kind of maps I'd be making if I didn't drop off the Doom modding scene for 10 years.

The second language that I learn after English is French. I want to say that French language is more difficult than English in terms of pronunciations (I'm Russian if you know). But I love it. My daddy learned it when he was a student like me now.

Somebody says that most popular language in the world now is Chinese and I should to start to learn it. Yes, you're right. But I want to say that in my university no course of Chinese. Only two additional languages: German and French. In additional, I think that this language the most difficult in the world. Fortunately, the second popular language in the world is Japanese. And I want to say that Japanese language is my favourite. But, again, there is no course of Japanese in my university. But that not problem. Maybe I should learn this language by myself.

The second language that I learn after English is French. I want to say that French language is more difficult than English in terms of pronunciations (I'm Russian if you know). But I love it. My daddy learned it when he was a student like me now.

Somebody says that most popular language in the world now is Chinese and I should to start to learn it. Yes, you're right. But I want to say that in my university no course of Chinese. Only two additional languages: German and French. In additional, I think that this language the most difficult in the world. Fortunately, the second popular language in the world is Japanese. And I want to say that Japanese language is my favourite. But, again, there is no course of Japanese in my university. But that not problem. Maybe I should learn this language by myself.

I wonder what kind of maps I'd be making if I didn't drop off the Doom modding scene for 10 years.

For some reason I wanted to play some Roguelikes, so I scoured the webs to find a bunch to play. This is what I found: http://imgur.com/a/QOcpX

Just wondering, any must plays here, or anything I missed?

For some reason I wanted to play some Roguelikes, so I scoured the webs to find a bunch to play. This is what I found: http://imgur.com/a/QOcpX

Just wondering, any must plays here, or anything I missed?

For some reason I wanted to play some Roguelikes, so I scoured the webs to find a bunch to play. This is what I found: http://imgur.com/a/QOcpX

Just wondering, any must plays here, or anything I missed?

For some reason I wanted to play some Roguelikes, so I scoured the webs to find a bunch to play. This is what I found: http://imgur.com/a/QOcpX

Just wondering, any must plays here, or anything I missed?

For some reason I wanted to play some Roguelikes, so I scoured the webs to find a bunch to play. This is what I found: http://imgur.com/a/QOcpX

Just wondering, any must plays here, or anything I missed?

For some reason I wanted to play some Roguelikes, so I scoured the webs to find a bunch to play. This is what I found: http://imgur.com/a/QOcpX

Just wondering, any must plays here, or anything I missed?

For some reason I wanted to play some Roguelikes, so I scoured the webs to find a bunch to play. This is what I found: http://imgur.com/a/QOcpX

Just wondering, any must plays here, or anything I missed?

For some reason I wanted to play some Roguelikes, so I scoured the webs to find a bunch to play. This is what I found: http://imgur.com/a/QOcpX

Just wondering, any must plays here, or anything I missed?