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roadworx

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About roadworx

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  1. so, me and my mom aren't on the best of terms, so...yeah. and she's asked a couple of times if i'm gay, which really worries me because I'M NOT. to make it worse, she's fairly conservative, so that reeeally doesn't help.

    so, here's the reasons she's laid out of why she suspects i'm gay:

    1.) i have long hair

    2.) i'm not interested in getting into a relationship (because i don't wanna go through the same thing my mom and dad went through)

    3.) i have a few gay friends

    4.) she saw me watching brandon rogers, she says that everyone in the video is gay

    i guess my friend jayce has the same problem, his parents thinks he's gay, when he's very obviously not.

    sooo...uhh...wtf do i do?

    1. Show previous comments  40 more
    2. Voros

      Voros

      ^ As crazy as that sounds, it's not a bad idea. Tell her right then and there what she wants to see in you that can prove you're not gay. Sometimes you have to take great risks for greater rewards.

      Better yet, just ignore her. She's not forcing you to do anything about it, is she?

      roadworx said:

      i'm afraid of her because, when she gets angry, she makes me and everyone else absolutely miserable. it's emotionally draining :/

      You're not the only one who becomes miserable during those times. I fucking hate times like that so much that I fucking don't care to even talk to her anymore, unless I have to. I'm a very angry person, yes.

    3. 40oz

      40oz

      roadworx said:

      i'm afraid of her because, when she gets angry, she makes me and everyone else absolutely miserable. it's emotionally draining :/

      don't get me wrong, she's not a bad person; i love her, and i'm sure she's only doing what's best for me. if i had any other parents, i probably would've been put up for adoption by now. i doubt she truly means harm upon me, it's probably me more than anything. i've put her through a lot, and i feel awful for that. that and the fact that my dad pissed her off a lot doesn't help how angry she can get.

      i'm 16, and no, my parents aren't together anymore.


      Just want to let you know you're living in a very conditioned environment and these are generally not very healthy feelings to have. Dont get me wrong, its entirely healthy to love your mom despite any trouble you have with her. But you shouldn't rationalize the way you're being treated with believing that you would be treated worse in any other situation.

      You're young so its definitely a little early to say pack up and leave so just try to remember that these things she is saying are deliberately crafted to get in your head so she can project problems she's dealing with in her own life on someone else. Sometimes having a logical explanation like that for these types of things can keep it from fucking you up. Just do your best not to fight back with her, because its mentally draining and she probably has a higher capacity for stress than you do at her age. So just try to be as non-confrontational as possible, and if its not helping, try contacting an aunt or uncle or grandparent and ask if they'll take you in for a while until things calm down.

    4. Benjogami

      Benjogami

      roadworx said:

      i'm afraid of her because, when she gets angry, she makes me and everyone else absolutely miserable. it's emotionally draining :/

      don't get me wrong, she's not a bad person; i love her, and i'm sure she's only doing what's best for me. if i had any other parents, i probably would've been put up for adoption by now. i doubt she truly means harm upon me, it's probably me more than anything. i've put her through a lot, and i feel awful for that. that and the fact that my dad pissed her off a lot doesn't help how angry she can get.

      i'm 16, and no, my parents aren't together anymore.


      I'm not really sure how helpful it is for some internet guy to dump his detached interpretation on a 16 year old that is still in the middle of a bad situation, but, as your story unfolds, I'm more and more convinced that your mother is abusive, and your readiness to apologize for her behavior and blame yourself is evidence that the cumulative abuse has taken a toll. Whatever bad stuff you "put her through" is no reason for her to make your life miserable, and I'm sure that her poor parenting is the cause of your bad behavior, not the other way around.

      Unfortunately there's not much recourse for young people to improve such situations. If you capitulate out of self-preservation and comfort, that's certainly understandable (and is perhaps a good strategy), but it's important not to lose your sense of self-worth. Take care of yourself. Forgive yourself. Hold onto ideals that you know are right, even if you outwardly betray them by bending to the pressure. You can love her and even forgive her (afterall, she's just a product of wherever she came from, like the rest of us), but don't let her convince you that you're the one that's fucked up, and that you're to blame for her bad behavior. That's a terrible thing for a parent to do.

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