roadworx

^ As crazy as that sounds, it's not a bad idea. Tell her right then and there what she wants to see in you that can prove you're not gay. Sometimes you have to take great risks for greater rewards.

Better yet, just ignore her. She's not forcing you to do anything about it, is she?

roadworx said:

i'm afraid of her because, when she gets angry, she makes me and everyone else absolutely miserable. it's emotionally draining :/

You're not the only one who becomes miserable during those times. I fucking hate times like that so much that I fucking don't care to even talk to her anymore, unless I have to. I'm a very angry person, yes.

roadworx said:

i'm afraid of her because, when she gets angry, she makes me and everyone else absolutely miserable. it's emotionally draining :/

don't get me wrong, she's not a bad person; i love her, and i'm sure she's only doing what's best for me. if i had any other parents, i probably would've been put up for adoption by now. i doubt she truly means harm upon me, it's probably me more than anything. i've put her through a lot, and i feel awful for that. that and the fact that my dad pissed her off a lot doesn't help how angry she can get.

i'm 16, and no, my parents aren't together anymore.

Just want to let you know you're living in a very conditioned environment and these are generally not very healthy feelings to have. Dont get me wrong, its entirely healthy to love your mom despite any trouble you have with her. But you shouldn't rationalize the way you're being treated with believing that you would be treated worse in any other situation.

You're young so its definitely a little early to say pack up and leave so just try to remember that these things she is saying are deliberately crafted to get in your head so she can project problems she's dealing with in her own life on someone else. Sometimes having a logical explanation like that for these types of things can keep it from fucking you up. Just do your best not to fight back with her, because its mentally draining and she probably has a higher capacity for stress than you do at her age. So just try to be as non-confrontational as possible, and if its not helping, try contacting an aunt or uncle or grandparent and ask if they'll take you in for a while until things calm down.

roadworx said:

i'm afraid of her because, when she gets angry, she makes me and everyone else absolutely miserable. it's emotionally draining :/

don't get me wrong, she's not a bad person; i love her, and i'm sure she's only doing what's best for me. if i had any other parents, i probably would've been put up for adoption by now. i doubt she truly means harm upon me, it's probably me more than anything. i've put her through a lot, and i feel awful for that. that and the fact that my dad pissed her off a lot doesn't help how angry she can get.

i'm 16, and no, my parents aren't together anymore.

I'm not really sure how helpful it is for some internet guy to dump his detached interpretation on a 16 year old that is still in the middle of a bad situation, but, as your story unfolds, I'm more and more convinced that your mother is abusive, and your readiness to apologize for her behavior and blame yourself is evidence that the cumulative abuse has taken a toll. Whatever bad stuff you "put her through" is no reason for her to make your life miserable, and I'm sure that her poor parenting is the cause of your bad behavior, not the other way around.

Unfortunately there's not much recourse for young people to improve such situations. If you capitulate out of self-preservation and comfort, that's certainly understandable (and is perhaps a good strategy), but it's important not to lose your sense of self-worth. Take care of yourself. Forgive yourself. Hold onto ideals that you know are right, even if you outwardly betray them by bending to the pressure. You can love her and even forgive her (afterall, she's just a product of wherever she came from, like the rest of us), but don't let her convince you that you're the one that's fucked up, and that you're to blame for her bad behavior. That's a terrible thing for a parent to do.

@Obsidian so then this is just a case of me being gullible and not looking at the bigger picture

gotcha, sorry for being a dummy 😔

@roadworx No need to be too harsh on yourself, it's okay. :) It can be difficult to pick up on these sorts of things at first glance and that can often be deliberately exploited by bad actors: it's something that can happen to anyone and I wouldn't begrudge you for it. We live and learn, yeah? 

@Obsidian i had noticed that in the thread but the way i saw it was more like he was starting to fall in the alt right rabbit hole he even liked a comment i made in it about how this was a dog whistle and he needed to change the content he was consuming

im just glad i didnt use social media on my teenage years otherwise i would be banned just as him was as i believed in the same shit anti sjw propaganda he no doubt is consuming now

Do you recall ever having an ear infection? Your symptoms are consistent with chronic vestibular neuronitis

durian said:

Do you recall ever having an ear infection? Your symptoms are consistent with chronic vestibular neuronitis

It's rather unlikely to be of infectious origin, as the problem mentioned is persisting for years rather than weeks. The most common cause of such chronic dizziness is BPSV or less common Meniere's disease. Orthostathic hypotension is mostly associated with blood pressure medicine and very unlikely to be the underlying cause here.

Oh yes, I was trying to remember the name for Meniere's; I have a friend with this and another friend with chronic vestibular neuronitis, so the described symptoms sound somewhat familiar to me.

Other games, Discord chats, Netflix, YouTube and socialising still count as being busy ;)

can't play other games, but all the other suggestions may work

I recently came out of a suicide phase so all i can say is divert your attention away from where it happens and try something else that’ll keep you occupied and feeling better but not worry about what strangers think, either online or in real life.

in a case like this maybe stay logged off from Doom forums and come back in a week or so.

(don’t hurt me)

I just realised that roadworx is a combiantion of "road" and "works"! OMG

what have i done

I just realised Megadeth is a combination of Mega and DETH. The best Doom editor!

@rdwpa OH MY GOD.

I actually tried messing with the forms to see if it could be done a few days back. It errors out with a cryptic code, heh

No cheating.

I tried to play it 10-13 years ago (the PC port), and it didn't seem that ugly (though obviously obsolete even then). Man, that game was hard. I didn't go very far into it.

Driv3r had some frustrating missions, but it was much easier in comparison.

yes, i mean the psx game.

Yey, I guessed right. It would be great if I bought a copy of it again, just to check it out (I lost my old one for some reason).

“The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind."

H.P. Lovecraft

...is it at least a funny joke?

i don't think that's why they were banned lol

I mean, how is joining mainly for off topic discussion bad

noooo, OT was an old forum that i used to frequent before it got shut down. it was pretty much 4chan-lite

http://mike.mancubus.net/images/avatars/fish/

@Xyzzy01 I think buzzball would like the one with Frederik Johansson ;D

thanks mr.xyzzy

Sorry to hear about that.

f

Mine kicked off around 2010. I built it in 1999. Getting my feet back under me with my old Doom software on a modern system sucked, and has still not fully come together. Now Win7 is being phased out and I guess I'm tired of computers anyway. 

Looking good.

I remember sending the same message to him. turns out he changes it every 3 or so months. 

DW didn't notify me about these posts for some reason.. Yeah, once in a while I gotta change it up :)

This looks very painful. 

ATATATATATA WHATAAA!

Bubsy 3d wasn't all bad.

whatever your opinion is, i think we can all agree that it was considerably worse than syphon filter or uncharted: golden abyss.

nvm now they're saying to reboard

Airports suck, glad you didn't have to stay any longer than necessary. LAX sticks out in my mind, been through several times with considerable layovers and its blehstench incarnate. Where you headed?

this incredible texture im obsessed with
used to see more of its fair share of use in old doom 1 shovelware maps

OH THAT!!

agreed, that's a great texture. i've always liked seeing it used, it's so recognizable and the red stands out so much.

for whatever reason there's a specific instance of it being used that i remember: it was in a 64-wide grey hallway across from a door. i think there may have been sladwall somewhere around as well but idk - either way it sticks out in my memory for some reason. i think it was in obituary, but i might be mixing it up with something else

kinda wanna use it in my map now, ngl

Doomkid makes his debut on Doomworld and is about to make his mark on the Doomworld community. But his true story is about so much more than that.

Wad: The Doomworld Community We Know

It all started in 2009, with one nasty comment on a message board. The subject was MyHouse, a site in which the Doomkid sent the occasional message. His boss had started to hunt him down because he was angry about how his fellow employees reacted to being banned from the site, according to Doomkid’s account.

By 2010, it was clear that Doomkid’s bosses had managed to hack MyHouse’s systems, bypassing the password, and placing Doomkid’s entire personal life on lockdown.

“MyHouse censored my personal account and private messages and pages on my private account,” he said in a chat with this writer via his MyHouse account.

Some of the content of his private posts had been changed. A sentence that started with “Wad” was replaced with a bizarre threat that his tormentors thought would make his friends sympathize with his cause. The idea was to blame him for the censorship rather than his bosses. They placed the blame on myHouse and edited all of his posts.”

Doomkid believes that his MyHouse bosses were upset.

I feel like I just encountered an AI-generated thread.

Didn't know he was gone.

I hope he is fine

Time traveler! He quoted you before you were even registered on Doomworld. 

We've done it. We've learned time travel before any other forum.

That's a horrible "to be continued" lol.

heh

No, but I love when I get to bed really early in the morning and then wake up really late.

Whole account feels tailor made to mock me and I clearly need to touch grass but it's too cold out, but yah agreed.

Oh yeah, fam. That's how I make my bread and butter when I'm not around here playtesting stuff. I've been editing for all sorts of YouTubers these past few years. Chances are I've edited for other creators you watch.

;^) ;^) ;^) ;^) ;^) ;^)