Single Status Update
It's funny. Some of these people I see five days a week, I have their last names, the cars they drive, and their license plates embedded in my memory. But they're still strangers. It didn't really dawn on me how emotionally detached from society I am until a few moments ago. I was letting a guy out of here and he goes, "Have a nice day."
"Have a nice day". It seems so simple. Anybody should be able to do it. Not me though. To me, having a nice day is something that happens on accident and rarely at that. These people don't know the dread I feel even stepping outside or hearing my phone ring causes me. I don't even know why I feel that way, I just do. Whenever my phone rings my immediate thought is, "Oh my God...bad news". Probably my shitty boss again telling me that I am required to come in early, and I do it because I feel that if I don't he won't let me request a day off with a few months notice again. But of course, he doesn't anyway. I bust my ass here, sacrifice off days, come in early and stay late...but it's still "fuck me".
I have come to accept monotony with occasional bad news as normal. Good days are dumb luck to me anymore. Spending time with my three close friends, my girlfriend or my dad are the only things that seem to distract me from this long enough to keep me sane. Too bad I can't do that more than once a week...once a week if I'm lucky.
They're the only people who I feel really respect and get me.