Frozen

You're not sending me to the cooler.

I was in a cybercafe in 2005, thinking a nickname and the game I played the most was called Warcraft 3: The Frozen Throne. I liked the sound of the word and that was just it. In 2014 until fairly recently I changed it to MrFroz in reference to the movie Reservoir Dogs, because Frozen as it was would be already taken pretty much everywhere whenever I wanted to create a new account on a given site, but now it just so happens that MrFroz is also frequently taken too and I decided to just revert to being Frozen on the net.

I remember I only played the PSX version, oddly enough. It was really cool to play this particular game on that system.

Would like it to be something more interesting, but it was probably Google lol.

Hi, It's been a while since I posted frequently in here and although Doomworld doesn't seem like the ideal place to write about what's currently going on my personal life, I think a lot of people here are quite open-minded and have gone through similar experiences so I thought it might be just fine to share this here. This month it turned three years since I quit my previous job and I'm feeling a bit remorseful, because I had no clue that I would spend this much time without getting another job. The way I feel about it all is very confusing to me, a lot of days I have been accepting of it, others I have lamented it...lately though I seem to mostly be regretting it, and that certain things I tell myself feel more like self-deceit to try to feel better about the situation rather than facing the truth. My previous job was at an IT consulting firm, and I knew it was going to be challenging because of being on the autistic spectrum and the problems I usually have dealing with people that are not context specific. However, there were also some challenges that I couldn't foresee due to my naivety and inexperience at the time...for one, when I got offered the Infrastructure Support position even though I was told in the interviews about the things that I would be doing daily and the weekends I would have to work doing passive guards, I wasn't let on the fact that the work team was going to have this big personnel turnover where five people would leave in less than two months after I joined, so in my first day of work we were seven including myself and then we were down to just four: me and other two new joiners and a Cloud Engineer who stayed to become the new team lead. The first two months were a breeze, but then when the team shrunk in size problems started appearing. I remember one day one of my co-workers began complaining to the boss about me and he didn't quite know what to think, but eventually after so many complaints he kinda gave in. I had a meltdown and he was a bit shocked by how angry I had suddenly become about it. Then I kinda remained at odds with this co-worker for the rest of my time there, and certain people from the India team I had to work with started criticizing my output as being slow due to how I tend to obsess on trying to get stuff done right on the first try. I felt ostracized, and due to my boss not allowing sick leaves as opposed to the teams from other countries that were also providing the same 24x7 service but took frequent leaves, frustration began overwhelming me...after eight months I became burnout and just decided to quit with nothing much in my mind except for how bad I was feeling there. Once I was out, talking with people they would ask me about how I'm doing at work, only to tell them I resigned and then they would say things to me like "you don't just leave a job, you get another one lined up first" and some other stuff I really didn't take into consideration. Now, my quality of life has degraded to an all-time low and I feel a bit without purpose, thinking maybe I should have had to bite the bullet and stay at the previous job a little longer. Not only that but also I don't have got any friends in real life and the past year I spent 23 days on a psyche ward which made me a lot more withdrawn. I think sometimes about going back there because I feel like I can't quite cope with things anymore. I spend most of my day in my room working on reverse-engineering projects for a couple of old video games, and even though it's something that I had been wanting to learn to do for a long time it's mostly working with C language and MIPS assembly, techs for which I have rarely seen a job opening on LinkedIn. I apologize in advance for writing such a long-winded post, but I really would like to hear some opinions because otherwise I'm lost in my own thoughts and feeling disconnected with things.

I apologize if I take long to reply it's just that I have been feeling really down and a couple of things that happened have been a major blow to me, not just the job loss but also some other stuff that occurred after that. I do want to say thanks to everyone for your input and at last, I have some stuff to think about that are not my own ever-shifting thoughts on the situation, and that's important. I actually learned Java as my first programming language, but it's been so long since last time I used it that I don't really remember much about it, not that I did much with it in the first place. But, one thing that I can tell having worked on a PS1 game decomp, is that even though the game is programmed in C it uses an object-oriented paradigm and I can tell how it might be easier to code the same thing using something that natively supports OOP. And yeah, I have always been told about coworkers giving a hard time, just when I got it to experience it myself I didn't have a clue how damaging it could be for the work environment. In regards to the boss, I found that the other person who joined after me quitted the enterprise five months after I did, which makes me good to know I wasn't the only one who thought or felt the same. I think many people feel the same, I recently stumbled across this woman's video and although I think her views are a bit extreme, I do identify with what she says about working a "soul-sucking corporate job" and having gone down a career path that leans towards working on corporate environments. Yeah, turnover really affected me but citing that as a reason for me leaving the job is likely to further complicate things for me to get a new job since like you say it's a commonplace thing in the IT sector, so potential future employers might be likely to do the same and won't hire me if they think it will be a problem for me. I hate answering those type of questions, and now I will also have to explain about the three year gap. 'Tis too much for my autistic brain. To be honest those 23 days were not bad and I might have stayed longer were it not because I wasn't given a coffer with padlock to store my stuff in, hence I got my shoes stolen and someone almost robbed me my cellphone. But other than that, the food was really nice, I met new people on a frequent basis and felt that the medical professionals although distant, were often more helpful than not. And another reason is that I guess I resonated strongly with some of the other patients that while not being on the autistic spectrum, were going through similar motions of being depressed and not being able to fit-in with society. Overall I thought that the "craziness" of the place wasn't nearly as crazy as what we think is normal life outside of it. Yeah it seems like the other option was to become a wage slave, and that wasn't too pretty. But at the same time, I feel like I was in a place where I wasn't thinking rationally and that has actually happened to me in the past, like that time I switched schools at 14 years old due to bullying. I can think of a million things I could have done back then to make things better, but at the moment I felt like there was no alternative. It is an unfortunate pattern that has reoccurred in my life. I definitely will be reading that book, in fact I had been yearning to read material that is not technical in nature since for quite a long while now I don't read stuff out of pleasure of doing so, I read mostly stuff in regards to how old consoles worked to get good decompilation results. This seems like a good enough recommendation. I am already doing open-source software contributions but given the nature of reverse-engineering, I can't ever attempt to make money out of it with a Patreon or such unless I want to get DMAC'ed. I had actually been thinking when creating this thread about what @Biodegradable once posted about how he spent a long time unemployed before he started doing free-lance work, so I might look into it again. Last time I did I felt afraid to take a free-lance job because programming courses taught me mostly conceptual things about programming, so I would see someone offering work to make a soccer game with Java and I would have not a clue on how to do that. But that was before I became a better developer, and also now I am told that ChatGPT offers a lot of great advice in regards to how you might be able to accomplish certain things, that might be asked of you for free-lance jobs.

Can't help but prefer it over Dino Crisis sometimes. The prehistoric jungle environments are fantastic.

I'm also stuck at the final boss, it's rather weird because up until that point the game is kinda easy.

Playing Portal 2 for the first time after completing part one ages ago. Wheatley gave me some genuine laughs that I haven't had with games in a long time.

GERARD.WAD got me sucked into a My Chemical Romance rabbit hole:

Burning on, just like the match you strike to incinerate...

Why Grungo so obssesed with Capstone Software games?

Was your friend called Ice59, per chance?

The Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver decompilation project I'm working on is doing really well.

Rather play Doom than watching the Doom movies.