Single Status Update
This gal gets it.
Okay, personal rant time... bug out now if you don't want to hear my life story and opinions.
First off, this lady's story really resonates with me. I also grew up in a very critical and judgmental environment (not *quite* as extreme and not *nearly* as active as hers, but similar in many ways). So, I totally understand where she's coming from. I left my parents' house for some of the same reasons, and I felt the same fear and confusion when I did so. I was still questioning whether I was even doing the right thing. After all, the people whom I had trusted and learned from all growing up were telling me that God was going to judge me harshly in this life or the next for abandoning the family He had given me, rebelling against His will for me in order to pursue evil things listening to rock music and working on computers (.... yep, computers are evil, according to the Bible).
I've also been on a similar journey, slowly coming to realize that the people I had been trained to despise and judge were actually people like me, with their own reasons for doing and believing the things that they did. I still feel like I'm trying to shake off some of that overly-critical mindset, but I'm coming around. Man, I remember posting some crazy stuff when I first joined here. I probably owe some apologies. :-\
She says in the video, "we need to talk and listen to people we disagree with." This is the key. We need to stop stereotyping people as "SJW's" or "racists" or "snowflakes" or "religious fanatics" or "neo-nazis". (On that note, may I ask someone to kindly explain to me how the far right are equated with Nazis? I grew up in a pretty far-right environment, and I don't see it. Thx.) Once you label someone as such, they lose their humanity, and become an enemy. Since they are an enemy, and since you already know everything about how they think and believe (because once you've talked to one <your-favorite-label-here> you've talked to them all), there is no reason to listen to them. Why should you care what they have to say? You are right, and they are wrong. So you do what must be done with such people... you give them a good verbal thrashing and then block/ban/kick them on <your-favorite-social-media-site-here>.
Well, I can tell you that if you do that, they will walk away with a martyr complex, and confirmation that the "enemy" who just banned them for simply stating a valid opinion is "just another <their-favorite-label-here>", just like the rest of them.
(Disclaimer: I'm not suggesting that we don't ban obvious trolls. I'm just suggesting that you give people a chance to explain themselves before deciding they are trolls.)
"But he was racist!" you protest. I don't care! I was homophobic. I didn't turn that around because someone gave me a verbal thrashing and blocked me from their Twitter. I turned that around because I was willing to sit down and talk to people who were LGBT, and they were willing to sit down and talk with me. Essentially, I had been taught to make assumptions about certain classes of people (LGBT, liberals, feminists, atheists, catholics and other Christian denominations, Muslims, Jews, college professors, et cetera ad infinitum). By talking issues over with people from these groups, I learned that 1) they are not all the same, and 2) almost none of them conform the the stereotypes I had in my mind.
I've also discovered another interesting way in which those whom I disagree with are similar to me. They make assumptions about conservatives, libertarians, evangelicals, pro-lifers, gun owners, et cetera ad infinitum). Based on my upbringing, I can certainly say that those stereotypes are very frequently wrong.
The other thing that I think is important is that you have to be willing to learn. People can tell if you are actually open-minded, or if you are just waiting for them to be done talking so you can say your piece. Don't go in assuming that you are right, and that you are gonna school the moron at the other end of the internet. It might be that you can learn something from them. Don't be afraid to learn something... it doesn't hurt, honest! :-)
All right, end of rant. The speech impressed me, mostly because she was able to articulate some of the feelings I have experienced ever since I started questioning the teachings of my "church". I don't mean to start a religious or political crapstorm. But if anyone wants to talk about anything, feel free to PM me.
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Interesting read 42, although this is likely not the best outlet for sharing such stories.
Plus, most people who have radicalized themselves "successfully" also have a perceived IQ that is comparable to a slice of bread, because they base their whole line of arguing on their very narrow worldview and dismiss even the most reasonable arguments you could make.
You are stereotyping. ;-)
You are correct though. In the majority of cases, people are not willing to learn. However, this does not imply that we should not "be the bigger person" and give them a chance, even if we only get ridiculed for our efforts. If they are ever going to change, it will be because someone on the "other side" was kind and understanding, not because they got banned from everywhere.
I did also leave room for handling trolls in the way trolls need to be handled.
I don't really care. I figured only friends of mine would bother reading my wall of text.
@42PercentHealth You dump all you like, my friend. That was the best thing I had read in days and made me happy I had logged in here.
Yes, this is a DOOM forum, but also a social platform. I don't see anything wrong with members using their own space to share the odd personal insight. Given how our friendship began with a mutual interest in DOOM, I can't think of a better place to deepen that understanding :)