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Everything posted by Marn

  1. Ultimately whoever is defending the status quo the most strongly has to lie more. The status quo can never be perfect, so defending it will always require at least some amount of dishonesty.
  2. Marn

    Interesting context about the Doom 3 shotgun

    Did anyone else read that bit about per-pixel collision detection and think to themselves "wait this doesn't sound even remotely fun"?
  3. Yeah they really don't make mindnumbing consumerist drivel the way they used to
  4. To understand Fox you must realize that their whole shtick is to hijack the viewer's amygdala and dopamine receptors with outrageous headlines to get them addicted. For those who are susceptible it's crack in TV form.
  5. Marn

    Arachnotron turns into ham when it dies?

    health bonuses are actually arachnotron glaze
  6. The more I listen to Dave Matthews the more I want to strangle Dave Matthews

  7. This. "Dated" is a really dumb way to criticize something, especially if there are a whole bunch of way more valid reasons to dislike it.
  8. He was late for the photoshoot and his brown gloves were still in the washer.
  9. Marn

    important question about pain elementals

    a third arm used as a backscratcher because his other two arms are too short
  10. Of course the October Surprise is fucking Borat.

  11. Looking for some inspiration, would like to know what specific maps are your favorite.
  12. Marn

    The All-Purpose Ape Thread

  13. Marn

    You draw it, I map it

  14. Marn

    You draw it, I map it

    Collage of Doom
  15. Post your absolutely most very obviously true Doom facts in this thread Did you know John Romero designed levels for the Bethesda game "Doom"?
  16. Marn

    Doom Pictures Thread 2020

    Please use imgur, the site you're using crops your thumbnails so you can't see anything and people have to navigate off-site to see the full image.
  17. Marn

    What's Your Favorite Doom Enemy Ass?

    This is a fucking disaster of a thread and I love it.
  18. I can't place it but it sounds like something Stratovarius would write
  19. Marn

    What's Your Favorite Doom Enemy Ass?

    If we decide to define ass as an opening on the back of the body through which matter is expelled, the lost soul truly has the most remarkable ass, as the flames it shoots are able to propel the lost soul a great distance at very high speeds.
  20. Marn

    What's Your Favorite Doom Enemy Ass?

    This is the incorrect choice. While the cacodemon quite clearly posesses an asshole, it does not truly posess an ass.
  21. boogie wonderland would make a good doom midi it fuckin slaps

  22. what if i want to use a 4d skybox
  23. The many id Software alumni, new and old alike, are at an impasse: who among them shall claim the spot in history as the true face of id Software? They have decided there is only one way to resolve this conundrum: to put their lives on the line in a no-holds-barred wrestling match where only one man can be left standing. Exclusively on Doomworld TV, we will watch them fight to the death in this pay-per-view event. Our contestants are: John "Romero" Romero John "Romero" Romero got his start at id Software by co-founding it in 1991 with his now-fearsome rivals, John "The Strangler" Carmack and Tom "Aardwolf" Hall. Early on, Romero established a formidable reputation for himself as a terrifying master of banter and trash talk, and he is has been known among the gaming and culinary industries alike as "The man who made Marco Pierre-White cry". SPECIAL ABLITY: The Medusa Effect - Romero is able to use his beautiful locks to entangle his opponents before throwing them across the ring and, if his timing and luck are right, over the ropes. WEAKNESS: Romero's locks gain their power from a highly-tempered sword called the Daikatana. If Romero's opponent is able to get past his locks and disarm him, Romero will be rendered effectively helpless and entirely reliant on his (still formidable) trash-talking abilities. Carl Sanford "Sandy" Petersen Sandy joined id Software in 1993 after the tragic demise of our next champion, Tom "Aardwolf" Hall. Sandy was subject to Romero's antics for his status as a practicing Mormon, but all was not as it seemed. Sandy lived a double life as the secret posessor of the legendary Necromomicon: some today believe him to be the Mad Arab himself. At nights when Romero was away from work, Sandy remained at the office performing psychic attacks on Romero, subjecting him to twisted landscapes and horrific images in his dreams. Romero eventually went mad and began speaking in tongues over the office intercom, the audio of which was used for the Icon of Sin's alert sound in Doom 2. SPECIAL ABILITY: Insanus Psioniconosis - As was mentioned, Sandy is capable of performing psychic attacks on his enemies, paralyzing them with fear. WEAKNESS: Sandy is only able to direct his psychic attacks at one person at a time, so our other champions may have a chance at defeating them if they decide to work together. This is much easier said than done, however, as he is able to move quickly around the ring while casting his psychic spells. Tom "Aardwolf" Hall The Aardwolf helped found id Software along with Romero and The Strangler, and was a long-time ally of Romero in their resistance against The Strangler's tyrannical reign over the phone line to Pizza Hut. The Aardwolf was known for his prophetic insights into the future, which helped id Software to secure lucrative deals with publishers. Among his predictions were those of a messiah called Keen who would come to save the world from aliens, which he wrote down in books I-IV in the Keen Prophecies. This would prove to be his downfall, however: his final prophecy was that demons from hell, led by The Strangler, would eventually take over the universe. He frantically wrote down his predictions in what became known as The Doom Bible in order to warn the world's leaders of the coming onslaught. The sheer horror of this realization caused him to go mad. No longer a threat to The Strangler's pizza autocracy, he was cast into the stygian abyss where he promptly began planning his revenge. SPECIAL ABILITY: Chi Sam (黐心) - The Aardwolf has an immediate advantage right out of the gate, as he is able to predict nearly every move of his opponent. WEAKNESS: For unexplainable reasons, the Aardwolf is unable to predict being attacked with a fish. John "The Strangler" Carmack The Strangler is a robot assassin from the year 2029 who was sent back in time to kill the 1993 presidential candidates Bill Clinton and George H.W Bush, handing the presidency to Ross Perot. An unexpected glitch sent him to the late 1970's instead, where he promptly broke into a computer lab to steal an Apple II. His goal? To gather the components necessary to upgrade his neural network and establish himself as a competitor to Skynet. This scheme failed, and The Strangler was forced to come up with a new plan, culminating in the formation of id Software in 1987. He remained at id Software until 2013, when eyewitnesses say he ascended into the sky and disappeared in a flash of light. SPECIAL ABILITY: Carmack's Reverse - Before traveling back in time, The Strangler was extensively trained in the grappling arts of Judo and Brazillian Jiu Jitsu, and as such he is able to choke his opponents out without even touching them. His enemies have all described it as "getting very, very dark" before losing consciousness. WEAKNESS: Because The Strangler is a robot, a bucket of water is enough to short-circuit him for one round. However, due to the venue regulations, it is exceedingly difficult to sneak a bucket of water into the ring. Tim "Tim Willits" Willits Tim Willits' time at id Software is shrouded in mystery. Rumor has it that he simply showed up one day and started working, and because he was dressed in business attire, everyone assumed he must be important and didn't question him. The events that transpired from here on out are largely a mystery, but soon afterwards his enemies at id began dropping like flies, culminating in The Strangler's infamous disappearance in 2013. SPECIAL ABILITY: Stealth Talker - In the blink of an eye, Tim Willits is able to distract and befriend the refs while his opponents aren't looking. It is during this time that he accuses the other tournament members of fouls, for which they are promptly penalized. WEAKNESS: Tim Willits' attacks in close quarters are completely symmetrical: whichever attack he throws from the right side of his body will immediately be followed up by the equivalent attack from his left side. If an opponent can figure out this strategy, Tim Willits is much more vulnerable. Marty "Farty" Stratton Farty got his start at id Software during the development of Quake II, and quickly assumed a producer role in many of id's significant titles. One day while looking through the office storage closet, he found Sandy's old Necromomicon. His curiosity got the best of him and he took a quick peak, but this alone proved to be too much for his mind to handle. He didn't go completely mad due to how brief his exposure was, but he has been plagued by repeated nightmares ever since, which is why the poor lad doesn't get any sleep. On the plus side, he learned how to resurrect dead bodies and used this knowledge to bring Doom back to life when Kevin Cloud tried to kill it in 2013. SPECIAL ABILITY: Gastroresurrection - Farty is able to bring dead warriors back to life, including himself. WEAKNESS: Farty doesn't get much sleep, so in this tournament he will not be on his A-game. His opponents may or may not be able to exploit this to their advantage. Hugo "Hugotron" Martin Hugotron was a freelance artist for id Software until being hired full-time in 2013. Hugotron immediately got the job after being interviewed because he showed up in a mech suit and Todd Hollenshead was afraid he would destroy the entire building. It was during this time that he formed a pact with Farty promising not to destroy him if he got to be the creative director on Doom 2016 and Doom Eternal. SPECIAL ABILITY: Five Mile Smile - Hugotron's best kept secret is that his mech suit does not actually work because he's missing a necessary component. Thus, he uses his bedazzling smile to charm his opponents. The juxtaposition between his terrifying mech suit and his smile completely disarms his opponents, allowing him to go in for the kill before anyone notices. However, Hugotron might be able to harvest the component needed to get his mech suit working from The Strangler. In this highly unlikely hypothetical scenario, all bets are off. WEAKNESS: Hugotron can be temporarily disarmed if presented with a pop culture reference. However, this will involuntarily invoke his five-mile-smile, and thus the opponent who wishes to deploy this strategy must proceed with caution. !!! IN CONCLUSION !!! Our champions have been introduced and the fight of the century is about to begin. How will the fight go, and who will win? Tell us your thoughts below. *kevin cloud, adrian carmack, american mcgee, shawn green and trent reznor were all killed in a bus crash on the way to the venue and will be unable to participate in tonight's event **donna jackson's whereabouts are currently unknown. if she decides to show up, it could be a game changer for the entire fight. marnetmar is currently on the lookout for her and will let the audience know if she shows up