Melfice
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Single Status Update
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Tristan: done yet?
Tristan: wut is this fricken fight over neway?
Tristan: fine
Tristan: don't answer me
Melfice: I was in the bathroom....
Tristan: o ok
Melfice: w/e I don't care anymore just don't bring it up and it'll be forgotten.
Tristan: wtf is ur problem tonight? thas wut I wanna know
Melfice: 1.) I want to get out of town for atleast a day...badly. 2.) Coleman is playing Diablo again. 3.) I'm tired of fucking nin.com and its stupid smudge 4.) I'm pissed at Lance because we've been wanting to do a band for a while, and now on my last year in Nevada he decides he wants to do it, when we coulda done it last year when he was doing that stupid band with Tim instead. 5.) Alot of other shit
Tristan: ok...where does taking this all out on me come in?
Tristan: and tell me...is any of that as bad as me probably fucking up my life for good? I can't sleep now it worries me so much
Tristan: but u must be tired of a lot considerin ur too tired to fight back for once
Melfice: Well fucking live with it the rest of us do when we screw up. It's not like you ruined total fucking perfection or some shit. Life sucks, get a helmet
Tristan: ...
Melfice: Yeah, I'm in a very bad mood
Tristan: I never had perfection...all I had were my hopes an dreams an now I may not have that
Tristan: wut is there to live for?
Melfice: I said its not "like"
Melfice: that was a comparison
Melfice: Its called quit being one-tracke-minded and maybe you'd find something else to live for except for your one plan that you didn't seem to have a back-up plan for incase it screwed up.
Melfice: Meh
Tristan: it's called go to sleep b/c ur too bitchy to talk to ppl
Tristan: pretty sad when u hafta take it out on sumone that din't even fuckin know nething wz up til u played block god
Melfice: Heh, I have been asleep. I woke up about an hour ago, went to sleep around 6 pm
Melfice: You know I'm always trying to fuckin help people with their problems and shit, yet I'm sitting here fuckin lonely and I'm fucking gay and people can't understand why I'm pissed its because no one fuckin ever gives back to me while I go around giving all the time. I get tired of hearing everyone elses fucking problems when I go around helpin people out all the time and no one else gives me anything back for the trouble. I'm fuckin tire of people arguing with me when I've damn well probed my point, and
*** Your previous message has not been sent. Reason: Maximum length exceeded.
Melfice: You know I'm always trying to fuckin help people with their problems and shit, yet I'm sitting here fuckin lonely and I'm fucking gay and people can't understand why I'm pissed its because no one fuckin ever gives back to me while I go around giving all the time.
Melfice: I get tired of hearing everyone elses fucking problems when I go around helpin people out all the time and no one else gives me anything back for the trouble. I'm fuckin tire of people arguing with me when I've damn well probed my point, and they're so damned full of themselves that they refuse to die and just lay there proven wrong
Tristan: being gay isn't an excuse
Tristan: an u know I listen to u
Tristan: u jus said the other night ur glad to be able to help me for a change
Melfice: Yeah, but you can't help me, can you?
Tristan: after all I've doen for u
Tristan: *done
Tristan: no...no one can
Tristan: u won't let them
Melfice: Yeah, you're an acception from people in general
Tristan: nor do u know how to let them
Melfice: No one can help me.
Tristan: well...if u dun even know wut's wrong w/ urself how can they?
Melfice: Because there aren't any fucking gay people besides me in our fucking school that is truly gay and they can't possibly understand, they're too fucking ignorant and dumb to beable to comprehend something that's that different from them
Tristan: what does being gay hafta do w/ nething?
Tristan: so wut...ur gay
Tristan: big deal
Tristan: I don't care
Melfice: BECAUSE I'M FUCKING ALONE YOU DUMBSHIT
Tristan: an u'll find sumone eventually
Melfice: God
Tristan: ur alone eh?
Tristan: alone
Tristan: glad to know I'm nothing
Melfice: Maybe I'm tired of it
Melfice: Are you gay?
Melfice: No
Tristan: do I hafta be gay for u to have sumone?
Meathead> Yeah, I'm that guy that does the Meathead Perspective on the site: You missed the point entirely
Tristan: NO
Melfice: Well maybe I want more than just a friend
Tristan: y is that such a big deal? u have much more to life than high school
Tristan: u'll prolly meet sumone ur first year of college
Tristan: there is more to life than a love relationship...friends r important too
Tristan: don't forget ur friends
Tristan: u seem to a lot of the time
Melfice: Yeah well I've been alone for 5 fucking years and counting. YOu know, you have it easy, because you already have someone, you can't possibly understand what its like to be in my position. I may have friends, and that's good, but the matter of the fact is is that I'm not going to beable to go any farther than that with any of them
Tristan: I jus...dun get u chris...I'm not sure u get urself...but if u do...fill me in...
Tristan: an o yes...I have it easy...not much easier than u
Melfice:: Your problem is that you can't get me, you can't understand me as hard as you may try. You never will beable to understand me until you've been in my shoes (god that's such a cleshe)
Tristan: I fucked up there too
Melfice: *cleche even
Tristan: sure...I may have the love of my life
Tristan: but wut good does it do me?
Dr. Tristan Claypool DVM: b/c of it I'll be 26 w/ 3 kids an hardly ne money
Tristan: I'll be ur regular bum
Tristan: love is nice...but it's not nice so early in life
Melfice: Yeah, you also had a ton of others to choose from if you needed. What do I have? No one, maybe people inside an internet chatroom that I'll never meet
Tristan: I may not change it for nething...but still
Tristan: a ton of others?
Tristan: puhlease
Tristan: I'm as picky as a guy gay
Tristan: an I still din't get everything I wan
Tristan: *gay guy
Meathead> Yeah, I'm that guy that does the Meathead Perspective on the site: I can't even afford to be picky! Why? Because there's not one person, so I can't even NOT be picky! I can't do anything
Melfice: See you missed the point of what I said though. The point was is that there's alot of girls out there, you're a guy, if you weren't so damned picky, you coulda had a number of different girls, while here I am, I'm gay, I'm a guy, there aren't any other gay or even bi guys around, I got no one. That's the point
Tristan: I'd be happy
Tristan: do u have an e on ur las name or not?
Tristan: I've never spent me time spellin it
Melfice: there is an e
Tristan: jus makin sure
Tristan: b4 I sent u this
Tristan: not sure if I should
Tristan: I should prolly delete it from my site
Tristan: I wrote it earlier b4 u got on
Tristan: here is an excerpt from my site:
Tristan: I'd also like to thank Chris Wolfe for all he has taught me about being different. I know I'll never be able to see it his way, but atleast I know with his help I've been given a different view at life.
Tristan: does it give u credit where it is due?
Tristan: shit
Tristan: I forgot a part
Tristan: k
Tristan: fixed it
Tristan: I'd also like to thank Chris Wolfe for all he has taught me about being different. He was always a good friend to me and I hope we can stay friends through it all. I know I'll never be able to see it his way, but atleast I know with his help I've been given a different view at life.
Tristan: it's a small part
Tristan: but a good one I think
Melfice: ...yeah...it does...
Tristan: but
Tristan: I can get rid of it if u wish
Melfice: No, leave it
Tristan: I'll let u think about that for a while
Melfice: It'll leave people wondering, anyone who thinks I'm gay will probably find that as something to use to say that its true, but I honestly don't care
Tristan: they can wonder all they want
Tristan: but they can't change the truth
Melfice: yeah
Melfice: heh, fuck it. I always like to keep people wondering anyway
Tristan: lol
Tristan: u've kept me wondering
Tristan: so ur doin ur job
Melfice: lol, tonight musta been a good example
Tristan: yes
Tristan: (Link: http://thunderorb.tripod.com/aboutme2.html)http://thunderorb.tripod.com/aboutme2.html
Tristan: here is the page if u wanna read it
Melfice: "fiance, Jessica. She has been there through it all. She neve " left the r off of never lol
Tristan: I already fixed it
Melfice: d'oh
Tristan: lol
Tristan: so
Tristan: wut r u thinking?
Melfice: hmm
Melfice: Right now I'm thinking about nothing in particular. Hmm...actually I'm thinking I wish I could hurry up and get my hair cut
Tristan: lol
Tristan: nice
Tristan: a mood swing perhaps?
Melfice: I don't know, I wouldn't call it that.
Tristan: wut would u call it?
Melfice: Dunno, but I hate the word mood-swing. Just sounds stupid
Tristan: lol
Tristan: change of feelings?
Melfice: Na, too scientific. I'll come up with something :P
Tristan: lol
Meathead> Yeah, I'm that guy that does the Meathead Perspective on the site: Hmm, Disturbed. thats about right! I'm a disturbed person
Tristan: I coulda told u that
Melfice: rofl
Tristan: anyone ever told u u laugh like an old people?
Tristan: lol
Melfice: It doesn't think. It doesn't feel. It doesn't laugh or cry. All it does from dusk till dawn is make the preppies die.
Dr. Tristan Claypool DVM: I've only seen u an the older ppl I talk to use rofl
Tristan: I use it occasionally
Tristan: but I already knew I'm old
Melfice: Heh, actually I made it a thing to use rofl here lately because I've used lmao so much in the last week
Tristan: I use lmfao sumtimes
Melfice: next week it'll probably be lmfao
Tristan: week after it'll be rofc
Tristan: rolling on floor crying
Melfice: o_O
Melfice: heh
Tristan: or maybe lshpirdml
Melfice: ...
Tristan: laughing so hard piss is running down my leg
Melfice: uh...no
Tristan: lol
Tristan: 've seen ppl use it
Tristan: *I've
Melfice: well...I have no intentions of doing so, heh
Tristan: good
Tristan: it scares me'
Tristan: so...how do u think the site is comin along?
Tristan: I lil slowly perhaps considerin I barely work on it
Tristan: cept late night
Melfice: :P
Melfice: decently
Tristan: find out how to indent yet?
Melfice: nope
Tristan: I'm bored
*** Auto-response sent to wildernessloftsandaviaries@hotmail.com: I am currently idle.
Tristan: how bout u?
Melfice: Yeah, I'm kinda bored
Tristan: r u gonna keep in touch w/ my after hs?
Tristan: *me
Melfice: Yeah, more than likely.
Melfice: I probably will with all of my friends some how or another
Melfice: One thing that's been bothering me lately is I've been tugging myself in two directions. At one point I still really care about Coleman but on the other side I've been trying to make myself not care at all and treat him as a friend. Neither side lasts long before I switch back to the other, meh, I'm confusing myself and making myself an emmotional wreck
Tristan: I'd say don't worry bout it
Tristan: I mean
Tristan: I know that souns stupid
Tristan: but really
Tristan: jus dun think bout it
Melfice: Well, its like, he's been really busy lately, and hasn't been around much at all. For about two weeks after I told him the way I felt about him I kept worrying that it'd ruin our friendship, regardless if he said it didn't change anything between us. I finally just came forward and asked him, and he said that he meant that and that he's just been busy working lately, especially since he's working a freakin nightshift right now. My thing is I'm trying to stop myself from caring too deeply about him before I finally do do something to screw our friendship up
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