Single Status Update
Girl 1: "fake tits do suck. but then as a possessor of huge real ones, i have a right to say that they suck too. ugh. i'd kill to have a healthy (ie not a resectioning) way to get smaller boobs. they take up half my stupid torso."
Guy 1: "Fake breasts are a major turn off. I can't understand how a person can want that done. Gah! I'm getting disgusted just thinking about it. I won't lie. I do enjoy looking at large breasts. Though, I can't understand what draws myself and other men to them. When it comes to being with a woman, breast size plays no role. I don't care what size they are because the breasts aren't the part that can go crazy and try to kill me.
Guy 2: "I personally prefer smaller breasts than bigger ones, but a well to do lady is fine with me. I just like the idea that a chick can jump around and be more active without worring about hurting herself, maybe. They just seem more like they want to be attacked! But i'm not attacked to tits so i can devour a large breasted girl as well"
Girl 2: " have such small breasts, it's really sad, but everyone says that they are well proportioned to my body. I just happen to like women with bigger breasts. But, I'd never have implants, because then they wouldn't feel the same, and who wants to feel fake. ugh."
Me: "It's when an (alleged) 17 year old has them (see Britney Spears for further reference) alongside being a smoker, and having a gross fake tan. Add that to a bunch of twee teen movies and it makes me want to slit open their chest, pull out the bags of plastic and shove them down their throats."
Guy 1: "Oddly enough, I'd pay to see that."
Me: "Pass me a couple of grand and immunity from prosecution and you've got yourself a home movie."
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Yes, STD's-- that's why you guys aren't going out to have sex. All those STD's waiting in the bushes, preying on young guys who ever consider losing their virginity or having a healthy sex life. I guess there are also those airborne STD's that cause you to freeze up and vomit all over yourself whenever a good-looking girl smiles at you.
It's called "a condom". It is your friend. They also work well in pairs.