Single Status Update
This is a long one, so bear with me those who actually read it rather than scrolling down and reading the bottom few lines.
"Let the chips fall where they may." That was what Tyler Durden said in fight club. To quit trying to control everything. To just let go. To quit trying to make everything the perfect that it will never be. People never think when they watch movies as they get engulfed in the life if a ficiontal character often times better off or maybe worse off than they are.
It never really occurs to people until later if at all that some things are true for everyone they know or sometimes just themselves. Self-denial. It's a denial that you develop as an escape from a fact that troubles you day and night and can be seen through the actions you take. You think you're living day to day. Same shit, another day. Same struggle to try and make everything hold so that any sanity that you may have will stay intact so you can attempt to remain strong enough to fight for yourself incase someone were to attempt to end it all prematurely by taking that last thing that you can really call yours.
Sometimes it's not that bad or so you think to yourself. The usual routine of supposedly waking up in the morning from a sleep that you don't know you really had. Getting dressed in something that's deemed approcpriate by the communist state of a school system that uses equality as an excuse to trap you in a room with other kids who're considered to be mentally retarded and are willing to do anything so long as you have the negotiating and reasoning skills of a 4th grade child. Obviously never be equal to the rest of the human race as sad as it is.
You face a sadness, laughter, and sympathy as you don't want to be empathetic towards them but sometimes would still wish better for them, even if they do make you laugh at the absurdity of it all or sometimes creep you out. Then once you make it past that you can attempt to finish your own holy crusade in your own mind of promising vengeance on that bitch art teacher who needed the word "rehash" shoved up her ass where it belonged, or so you can take down that debate coach who only knows anything knowledagble about half of the possible events you can enter leaving you to not only learn on your own being 100% more productive than him but to come out in the end being smarter than him about what he doesn't know and what he does.
Your home life is meaningless as suddenly the clock disappears when you get on the internet supposedly escaping the world but in reality you're connected to more than you ever would be in school or your existence as a whole. You find friends like you and wish they were there in place of the ones you do know (or atleast some other people you know from school who serve as nothing more but distraction or a sign of pain from the past to torment you mentally since as you try and heal the wounds they have cut in your throat everytime you see them they rip your bandages right off and re-open the wounds).
Then you lose the internet. The service provider is some old woman and her husband who used to run a flea market the eventually got shut down due to lack of business. Lazy, unproductive, and meaningless, what job would be more fitting than one where you watched internet accounts and a person's next due date on a bill all week doing nothing more than floating around cyberspace reading compiled ones and zeros. You're left for a week and a half without a conduit between you and people you've never met that mean something to you. You watch more tv in that 10 days than you have in an entire year. You no longer appreciate the night life and fall into conformity, waking up at 6 am and going to bed at 10 pm just so there's someone there even if every last conversation with them amounts to nothing. The additional bonus at the end of the level: you hate them.
Suddenly time returns as a force in your life. Suddenly tv becomes the clock as you watch 30 minute cartoons or shows on nickelodeon, mtv, or cartoon network. You are able to tell what time it is by the beginning and end of a show,and what show it is, maybe even if it's a new episode or not, or just a repeat of yesterday's which sucked. You damn them and their re-runs. But wait. What's this? Suddenly a two hour special appears on mtv and in a desperate escape from re-runs after re-runs of viscous cartoon antics you begin watching it. You really don't care if it's Brittany Spears, right? No, not at all. Suddenly you realize that you've lost all track of time thanks to that special. Until the end, you will have no idea what time it is, and things seem to slow down to a sluggish pace resembling that of what would probably be that mono-toned debate teacher. Soon Family Guy is on, and you remain up until Aqua Teen Hunger Force ends which you instinctivly know by now is over at 11:30. You fall asleep. Maybe tommorrow the internet will return...
Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Brain washing was never more fun.