Melfice

You might think the subject of this has something to do with Doom 3. Well it doesn't. What it has to do with is living through a situation all too terrifyingly real. Sometimes, when you've never seen something before and it burries itself so deep in your mind, you can't get that image out of your head. It traumatizes you. That is what I dealt with today.

Today started out as a normal day. I woke up around noon after talking to Joshua on the phone for a long time the night before. My sister had come in my room asking if I had the phone, and I said I was waiting for a call even though I wasn't, simply because if she got it she'd be on it for hours. Later I got up and did my usual waking up stuff, then grabbed my laptop out of the living room and went back to my room for a while and got on the internet, talked to Tyler about us visiting one or the other. Today was the day that Doom 3 was released, and I was excited. I asked Coleman if he'd call BestBuy in Joplin (since he lives there now) on msn if he'd call them and ask if they have it. He said they did, and I was even more excited. I was hungry and didn't want left-overs so I cooked Lasagna (yes, I cook). Shortly after that my mom came home...

Everything seemed normal. She was tired from work, had awaited a call from her boyfriend and got it, then called my grandmother. They were still talking about Witch Bridge (a completely different story, mind you), while I was playing with the cats. I retreated to the frontroom where I had eventually stationed myself on the couch and table with my laptop. Suddenly I see my sister run into the frontroom and she's freaking out, I remove my headphones and she's saying something about our mom freaking out. I was skeptical as to the seriousness of what she said as much of a drama queen as she is. I went around the corner and into the kitchen and she was feeling sick, she had had a light seizure, it's caused by a condition called epilepsy. Basically she starts feeling light-headed and sometimes illness of the stomach can come with it. She said she felt like she was going to throw up so she went to the bathroom. My stupid-ass sister was freaking out and all this other shit which didn't help things any. It wasn't even anything abnormal at that point...

I figured she'd be fine, so I sat back down and put my headphones back on and was working on some music when my sister started waving at me to come to the bathroom. I was getting rather annoyed at this point at her. I walked in there and my mom was on the floor sitting there mumbling to herself and trying to throw up and then she asked me to call her evening job and tell them she wasn't going to make it in tonight, so I did so. Then she did start freaking out. When I came back she was crawling around on the floor talking to things that weren't there but yet still talking to me at the same time and kept saying she couldn't get the feeling to go away. At this point I really was worried and was glad that my sister had just sat down on the couch because the last thing I needed was her freaking out and making it two times worse. She was feeling around the floor for something and talking, searching, she was saying she felt like there was something in there but yet there wasn't. I kept telling her that if she didn't get better within the next minute I was going to call 911 or contact somebody but she kept telling me she just needed to throw up and she'd feel better. No, I knew better than that, you don't act like that just because you need to throw up.

I told her that I was going to call my grandmother who she'd talked to earlier so we could give her a ride to the hospital, and I didn't care wether she thought I should or not, because the way she was acting was not normal, not at all. I called my grandmother and told her what was going on and she got over here as fast as she could. My sister was trying to guide her out of the house while I hurried up and tried to get out to my grandmother's car. As I turned around and they were headed out the door my mom was moaning, and acted like she could barely walk. Then she went and grabbed on to our car and began convulsing and shaking and went fell to the ground and was still moaning but was still shaking and convulsing. I didn't know what had happened, all I knew was that I had to get inside and call 911 and get an ambulance over here because whatever was happening at this point I don't think we could get her to the hospital ourselves. I called 911, gave them the requested info and in a few minutes that seemed like an eternity they got there. Her eyes were rolled back into her head, and despite the moaning and heavy breatheing she was infact uncauntious. The medics couldn't get her to come-to, so I helped the two women get her onto a stretcher and they loaded her into the ambulance and shortly after left for the hospital. At this point my grandfather had also shown up. They asked if we were going to come to the hospital, so we did.

We got there and told the woman up front that we were her family and she told us to have a seat and that they would let us know as soon as they knew something about her condition. Eventually her stupid-ass boyfriend made it in, and quite honestly I was pissed he showed up, so was my grandmother, and so was my sister. Personally we didn't feel he belonged there at that time, the last thing we needed was him there. I handed the cellphone to my grandma as she wanted to call my grandfather and tell him we hadn't heard anything yet, but it wasn't working so I took it outside and called as I figured it probably didn't work in the building due to possibilities of interfering with equipment in the hospital. Later my aunt and uncle had shown up, and not too short of three hours to our surprise my mom came walking in. What had happened was a full-fledged seizure. She had never, in her entire life, had one before today. She's going back to the doctor for more testing tommorrow so they can determine the cause of it, as it's somewhat abnormal for a 40 year-old woman to have a seizure like that and have never had one before. I couldn't get the image of her convulsing and shaking, the moaning, the expression on her face, the shaking as she breathed heavily laying there face first half in gravel, half in grass, out of my mind. I still cannot.

Today I felt every feeling I have ever known. Happiness, Excitement, Saddness, Stress, Worried, Disappointed, Angry, the list goes on. When she walked out, I was as glad to see her as I wish I hadn't. No, by that I don't mean I wish she had died, do not take it that way. But I was very disappointed, mad, and upset at her at the same time, because of things I found out as my grandmother dug into the depths of her purse while we were looking for any prescription drugs she might have been taking. You can speculate by that, that perhaps she had illegal substances or a number of things in her purse, but it's far more personal than that, and a family thing, but it's not drugs or things like that. Let's just say that financially she's worse than she's ever been, and she better hope to god that sometime straightens the mess she's got herself, no, her family in, me and my sister and her, out, because it would take a miracle to do it. At the rate she's going, we're going to be living on the street. Thank god I have grandparents that care about me and my sister so much and have said that if anything like that ever happened, we could live with them. My mom, I don't know about, however.