Endless

^{Disclaimer: My original thread got nuked, deleted.}

Banning of WADs, Hyper–Moderation and the Recent Issues at Doomworld

Disclaimer 2: I couldn't publish this first because the DBPs thread is locked.

Hello everybody. If you haven’t heard of me, my name is Endless and I am a self-called WAD addict. I love Doom and I love the custom content. I’ve been playing on and off since 2013, if my memory doesn’t fail. I’m also the creator and editor-in-chief of the Doom Master Wadazine, a free fanmade e-magazine dedicated to the Doom saga. In other words, I love Doom.

I like to think that I’ve been part of this community since 2017 or so, when I started to become a bit more active. Before that I just lurked a lot, seeing all the stuff happening and things going on. It is with great pleasure and satisfaction that I began to realize that this was a close-knit activity, full of passionate creators, artists, programmers and fantastic multi-talents sweating gold. I was fascinated by the idea that such an old video game had such a large and active group in the modern day.

Yet now, I’m starting to believe that there’s something wrong going on behind the curtains. Since recent memory, some things have occurred that have shaken me slightly regarding my faith in this place and this community. I usually stay away from drama and shitposting, but today I’m honestly hurt, not necessarily by one single action, but the accumulation of various things. Before starting, I want to express some of the points that have led me to create this:

- The total ban of the Doomer Boards Projects.

- The increase in moderation activity.

- The decrease in infrastructure activity regarding Doomworld.

- The highly inclusive stance that’s not actually inclusive.

- My personal opinions (Oof, what a dangerous thing to say).

1.      The total ban of the Doomer Boards Projects:

The very first point and the thing that really made me tear up a bit today. If you've been a follower of my reviews or activity (thank you very much by the way) it's no secret that I've been a big fan of the Doomer Boards Projects since the day I met them. From Monuments of Mars to Auger;Zenith, I've played the vast majority of the projects and reviewed them. Each WAD has been a delight to play and something I have thoroughly enjoyed. Some WADs have stuck in my memory, becoming almost a nostalgic part of my journey through Doom. There is no doubt that this series is the most consistent series of WADs in quality and number in the history of Doom. 39 projects, if I'm not wrong, and if I could give an overall rating to all of them, I would say: great. Now, that's my opinion of the WADs, of the maps, of the art created, and here comes my problem.

Suddenly (maybe not so suddenly) they’ve been banned from being published on Doomworld (and probably also promoted, which would get me in trouble) I'm honestly not sure. A percentage of the authors have been former creators of these forums who were previously banned, some even before I was on Doomworld. The creation of the Doomer Boards was born out of this. Personally, I don't care much. If I don't like the person, I don't interact with them, but if their work is good, I have the decency to at least not shit on them. Apparently the Doomworld staff considers them misogynists, xenophobes, racists, terrorists? Idk. I'm sure that more than one of them is like that, but all of them? No. I've met great map authors who started out on the Doomer Boards and I'm pretty sure they're none of those things. Probably the key word among all the accusations is that they are fascists. A word that carries weight but seems to lose relevance. Now it's just a sort of insult used to accuse someone you don't like.

And in the end, they decided to ban the projects altogether. I'm sure there are members that the DW staff hates from there, but I'm sure there are others who simply wanted to create maps for the projects and yet they completely screwed them up too.

I think this is NOT OKEY. I'm not as old as the community, but I'm sure this is the first time WADs or Mods have been banned completely from any kind of publication for posterity. Not even terrywads had this much moderation. I am a person who believes in free speech and the right to create. Regardless of whether you like them or not, or consider them ''fascists'', the future of the entire projects did not deserve to be banned for the actions of others. I will use a simple expression for this: Separate artist from art. I'm sure more than one will point out that the projects promote negativity or whatever. One of the examples given is that the projects should be banned because they promoted the Doomer Boards page. The image in question seems totally harmless to me. But apparently it is treated and seen as a propaganda act that results in the creation of some sort of army full of ultra-right wingers and I don't know what else... and yet DB doesn't even have 500 members.

Before this there was the discussion about whether or not Auger;Zenith would win an award. Honestly, I was sure it wouldn't, but I never expected that they would ban the projects completely. What does this mean for me now? I will probably receive subtle threats as I have received before if I decide to promote WADs. Maybe not, but I doubt it. Oh, also, why lock the announcement thread? Can’t the DW members voice their opinions there?

And this last paragraph might be a bit paranoid, but I feel like this could just be a chain reaction. Suddenly, more and more WADs could be outright banned for reasons that seem to trivial or might not even be known.

2.      The increase in moderation activity

I initially thought this was a good thing. Finally, a new wave of moderators to help out the increase in activity. It ends up resulting in something mixed. While I appreciate the moderation when it comes to shitposting or attacking posts, I've found that it's become a bit of a content blocking and banning party for the slightest offense. I think we can all agree that there’s more closed threads or downright deleted posts now a days than ever before. If something breaks the rules, then first make the rules clearer please, and in the end, I think it is better to keep threads locked than to delete them completely. At least the evidence works as a guide of what not to do.

3.      The decrease in infrastructure activity regarding Doomworld.

Oh, this is not really a new one. Since 2016, Doomworld hasn’t changed pretty much at all, and is on a decadent state that’s quite shameful to be honest. Some problems that need fixing will probably never be fixed, and the first excuse of it tends to be that it’s impossible because the forum software doesn’t allow it. The truth is that I am not an expert in this technical subject, so take this as a customer's opinion; the news section is dead, the Downloads section is dead, and this is a serious one that personally hurts newcomers who wish to have their WADs in some sort of download center or modern WAD repository. The threads section is a mess, and it was supposed to be fixed, but there seem to be no changes. I think that rather than a problem, this is an example of a simple lack of interest or power in wanting to fix it. I guess it's not as important as it used to be. A homepage would work wonders too. On a side note, I have to credit the recent increase of concern and activity regarding one single administrator that’s trying to get shit fixed.

4.      The highly inclusive stance that’s not actually inclusive.

Doomworld frames itself as a very welcoming community that accepts you in any shape or form. This was something I really liked and felt especially nice because I been an outcast for too long in real life. I was feeling welcomed here, like I belonged for once. This didn’t last.

First of all, the early days of Doomworld were not as acceptable as they are now. And don't tell me Doomworld was a less toxic place compared to the rest of the internet. It was full of idiots, abusive, violent moderators and the like. Read some of the older threads (/newstuff for example) and you will quickly realize that everyone was immature. The very foundation of DW was a toxic one. It's a good thing that they changed over time, but as much as they changed, they also brought the problem of hyper moderation. Now there is a fear of any kind of discussion, opinion that is not acceptable or divergence in beliefs or any ideology. While the truth is that I don't care if they argue or not in any kind of forums, I find it improper to point fingers at other places or people for being fascists, when here the cradle itself still has stains of a dirty past.

5.      My personal opinions (Oof, what a dangerous thing to say).

I don’t really enjoy drama or making discussions in a place where the main subject is related to a videogame, not real-life issues, but I think this is the time I speak out. There is a certain Doomworld elite (the very word elite sounds silly but I think it describes it well), while this sounds like a stupid conspiracy, I have been involved on some of this issues myself. I don't think it's worth naming names or sentencing titles, but certain members of the Doomworld staff are abusive, self-centered and armed with power/influence. I have had discussions that could have been handled in a more civilized manner, but instead I have had to deal with sarcastic comments, heavy handed accusations, threats to cut off relationships and remove my support. This is because I am editor of the Wadazine, a magazine dedicated to Doom and WADs in particular, and the only one of its kind in this community. So, if I publish something that’s deemed as offensive or not-likeable, well, I’ll get in trouble. I already did I believe. However, I have no major support from the staff, a few great members have promoted me every once in a while, but it seems that everything has fallen silent since certain problems started to rise, and I didn't turn back to fully praise the opinions of others high members.

I love Doom, I love that it has been alive for almost 3 decades and it’s more popular than ever. But I don’t know if I love the community that much anymore. I support neither Doomworld, which abuses power and hides intentions behind moderation actions, nor Doomer Boards, which is full of unfunny shitposting and seems to complain more about Doomworld than playing Doom. After that, I don't even know what other forum is left alive. Doomworld is practically the central hub for everything Classic Doom related, but, unfortunately, it has become a quasi-political network by this point.

And it has reached a breaking point for me. I’m just sad, to say the least. I like to create content, activity, play WADs, write about them and so on, but now it seems that the focus of the community is elsewhere.

Oh, and by the way, as a disclaimer: This is Endless opinion, not the Wadazine opinion or even the teams, these are my word and what I think. If you want to discuss, you discuss with me.

Doomworld

Hello everyone, I was, honestly, not planning on making a new post/statement regarding the situation expressed on my previous status post, but while there’s been quite some silence on the surface, there’s also a lot of movement on the background that has hurt me and also boycotted the Wadazine, so, here are my new points:

- I am not a Doomer Boards advocate

- Some of the stuff I been called, accused and told, and had to deal with

- The Doomworld Staff issue

- The behind the scenes

1. I am not a Doomer Boards advocate

People that are trying to hurt me or give me a bad rep, have used this as their main selling point. I am NOT a Doomer Boards fanatic, emissary, diplomat or advocate. I DO NOT like the place and I DESPISE some of the idiotic shit that’s said around there.

Some people have accused me of being a supporter of them and their mini-page, using this against me because I have an account there. You are free to visit my account and see how much of a ''supporter'' I am. All this was born out of the fact that I defend the Doomer Boards Projects (the WADs) and apparently it is impossible to play Doom without thinking about the moral consequences of playing a collection of maps made by very bad people.

I also want to express that even though my experience of the DBs is negative, that doesn't mean that I will detest everyone who has ever been or is a member of them. I'm sure you know a few who are both members here and there, and I don't see them being called out or accused of what I have been accused of. Which leads me to my next point.

2. Some of the stuff I been called, accused and told, and had to deal with

This I expected, no doubt, but I did not expect it in such a heavy and direct way, and from such people. I have been called a bigotry supporter (for the above), called a sexist, and implied to be a fascist. I have been told that my server is a home of hateful people (because I have a moderation policy that consists in not autobanning people or not having a blacklist) and this has even reached my team, some members that are completely innocent of all this issue. Suddenly, my influence has turned like a black legend. I was even called, in an ultimatum, a 4chan user. What the fuck? I don’t even have an account there yet I somehow made it.

I have been banned from multiple Doom servers, and even ones that have nothing to do with Doom. When I searched for an answer, I only found strong accusations against me, and comments that reveal to me that there is a banlist that must be honored. I have lost connections with people with whom I have worked with mutually in a perfect state of respect and admiration, and passion for Doom. Now it’s just whispers in the wind, a few just ghosted me instead. I lost a considerable amount of my team members and have to re-structure my entire server, which I am having some hard time doing because I don’t even know who to trust (more on that later). So, in the end, I have received terrible backlash just because I posted my concerns and exposed some of the behind-curtains stuff going on. Yet I never banned anyone, don’t own a blacklist of unwanted, never reached out to anyone (until I found out there was some smear against me going on) and I didn’t even respond to the updates on my status. I felt, FELT, like I said enough, but now, I have to come back again and defend myself because it reached the point that I was even threatened with influences and power.

3. The Doomworld Staff issue

And this, more like a statement, is an update. Turns out, there’s much more stuff going on than I anticipated. Some of the staff reached out to me, some didn’t, and some prominent people (including people that are not even DW-active) also went to contact me. Whereas before I thought the staff acted as a cohesive unit, now, thanks to various comments from both officers and veterans, I have discovered that the team is incredibly fractured. There are those that completely despise me right now, those that are trying to stay neutral on this, those that bashed me publicly but partially agree, and those that agree but don’t want to make it public. So, what is it? Where I once thought I was calling out a unit, I now feel like it’s just a collection of influential individuals struggling for control, and that’s why there has been no major word from them acting as a whole during this time. I’m pretty sure there’s no leadership, and I know for a fact that the DBP ban was not unanimous. I would really like if this changed, but fuck me, I don’t even know because there’s actual influence at stake.

4. The behind the scenes

Now, I believe I am quite sure who are the individuals behind my Discord fallout and excommunication, I hope there’s not more. While at first, I thought this would just end up as a quiet thing, it ended up turning into a path of revenge against me. Before I kept quiet, but now I have to be contacting people I worked with before to avoid them thinking I'm a misogynist, abusive, violent, or bigot. In other words, I have to actively defend myself.

Some have listened, been reasonable and expressed neutrality in a fair manner, while others have severely hurt me and even the Wadazine. I know for a fact that members of my team are now on watchlists. That seems too much to me, call it hyper moderation, call it power abuse, or whatever, but it is not fair for them. People are free to ban me from their servers if they feel it’s right, but when they have to maintain an unwanted-list, they might want to reconsider their views.

Of course, I know there’s plenty of chat behind my back around, probably a lot of negativities against me. I’m always welcome to discuss it. I didn't kick anyone out, and didn't ban anyone from my server and I am pretty sure I answered to every single person that sent me a DM, either to bash me or support me.

Not only did influential people contact me, but also regulars, some lurkers, some people that were actually hiding and finally felt free to speak up. Some may say: Oh, look at this dude, he believes he’s the messiah. Heck, closest thing I am is torn-apart dude, but I’m doing it for the right reasons. Because people actually feel there’s something wrong going on, and it’s being hidden from them.

I was threatened with a ban, or to be more precise, best case for me, a temporary ban, only that would happen, I was told. Well, I haven’t been banned because I believe that some members of the staff are quite divided by this. So, I really hope things get FIXED, not just settled, not just drowned or forgotten, but fixed. It’s at least, one step to admit that there’s a power struggle, and then work it out. Talk to the people as I am doing, or just ignore me and keep silent.

Y así como el fuego consume la carne de todo pecador, el agua purificara los pulmones de aquellos que buscan la redención. No son desgraciados aquellos ahogados, no son malditos ni destrozados, sus almas están intactas en su fe, pero su espíritu, raptado por la corrupción. 

Yo soy Baridiel, yo vengo a ahogar a aquellos que buscan redención.

Yo soy tu ultima oportunidad, yo seré tu ultimo pavor. Yo te guiare por el camino de las sombras mientras luchas contra tus propios monstruos, yo te llevare a las montañas de la locura mientras liberas tus insanas mentalidades, yo te romperé cada partícula de odio y corrupción, yo te haré sufrir. Pero debes de aprender, hermano. El dolor es bueno, siéntelo una ultima vez.

Lmao, just some spanish from myself. 

So... I'm leaving for a while.

Well, my laptop is partially broken. Seems there's a problem with the motherboard and peripherals. Doesn't help the fact that it's also physically damaged. Don't think I'll be as active or productive as I used to be.

It doesn't help that I'm genuinely tired of it all.

I think I have been severely depressed for two years. Since I started college, right around the time of the pandemic, things have gone downhill tremendously. I have cut off relationships with family after work problems, I have been out of work for two years now too. My financial situation is dire. I have no friends in real life. I don't know if it's because they genuinely dislike me or because I'm just unlucky. My family is a total mess. I have never seen so much toxicity, fighting and confrontation for the most trivial things possible. To make matters worse, because I live in a small house, there is no such thing as privacy or silence. Screaming, screaming, screaming, every day...it's so tiring. I try to be different and not participate in the fights, but all it has done is cause me to now be used as a punching dummy. The worst thing is that the few times I have participated in arguments, they only make things worse. Pride and malice runs through the veins of these people. I genuinely believe that I live with bad people. The sad thing is that I used to live with my grandparents, but I moved in with my mom due to personal problems. She had always told me that she missed me and would like me to move in with her. Time goes by and now she just keeps passive aggressively insulting me, demanding that I give her money, throwing in my face that I am ''expensive'' because I eat and use electricity and water. She constantly demands that I contribute to the house and look for work, even though I have done so and am a full time student, or was. The funny thing is that I have used my little money to buy essentials, and she has never thanked me. She says we are in bad shape financially, but she constantly spends money buying expensive beauty products and beer. But of course... I'm the cause of the problems, she says. She doesn't mention the fact that my sister is genuinely manipulative, abusive, narcissistic and is the #1 cause of all the internal fights. She even kicked my mom, and yet... And yet, my mom spoils her. She buys her new cell phones, computers, expensive clothes, beauty products and so on. Want to know what's funny? None of my belongings are new. Everything I have is used. Donations out of pity. I only have two pairs of shoes, and a pair of flip flops. The reason my laptop is broken is because it was used for years and never taken care of by the previous owner, my grandpa. I live in a locked room, no closet, no air conditioning. Yet I am the trouble. Well, previously I used to live in a concrete room with no windows, so at least that changed... I guess.

Anyway. I'm dropping out of college too.

I was studying law. To be a lawyer. I realized it wasn't what I wanted and I hated everything about it, but I still struggled for 2 years for some vague hope. I had the idea that maybe I would get something, but the more reality set in, the more nepotism and corruption hit me in the face. Now, I can barely concentrate, I can barely study. I used to get good scores, but things have only gotten worse. I have no friends, no study groups, no way to socialize because of the pandemic. And the truth is... I don't belong in that culture, I don't have the personality to be a lawyer. I just get squeezed out by everything...

Jobs are also hard to come by. There's shit of jobs available in my place, and most are for services, and god damn, I hate service. I used to be an hotel receptionist, and while I would always put a smile and be charismatic, the clients weren't, and god, it's so tiring, I can't deal with people, I seriously can't. I tried other stuff, I even tried a call center, but they rejected me because I live in a small city... and they only want people from the capital. So yeah, a door opens, but five others close.

I have tried to follow my dreams of being a writer, but it is difficult. For years I've written tons of free stuff, and I wish I could be a professional sometime. But all circumstances are against me. I don't have the money, nor the resources, nor the geographic location for it. I tried to create a patreon, but it took me months. Why? Because I don't have a valid credit or debit card. I need money to have money, as ironic as it sounds. When I finally succeeded, it turns out that I can't use PayPal in Guatemala... oh joy. It feels like no matter what I do, there is always a wall in front of me.

I even founded a little local club of TTRPGs and fantasy to try and make friends. It didn't work. People aren't interested on it. They don't really care about stuff like that. I have nothing to relate to to anyone. It's like I'm cut off of everything and anything. I'm just a lost soul in this place.

My grandparents are also sick of COVID. They're vaccinated at least, so I hope they get better, but for the time being, they're in a bad state. But I know they'll get better. They're far more healthy than I am, hah.

I tried to talk to my mom once about my depression. It was a total failure. In this place... depression is seen more as a kind of social embarrassment. It's a stigma. People don't believe in such things, after all, we survive in this country on ignorance, conformity and numbed feelings. People are so... inhuman around me. The funny thing is that the same people who have asked for my advice and sought my help, have refused to offer it to me. The ones I once considered my friends were only people with their own self goals.

The only thing I have left is my girlfriend. Honestly, if it wasn't for her, I would have killed myself a long time ago. She is sweet and charismatic, and she listens to me and encourages me in everything. She is the only strength I have. Even though I can't see her every day or be around her, she always makes her presence felt. She even learned to play DOOM for me. How cool is that? She's the only thing I have... and yet I still worry about her. I don't think I'll ever be able to give her what I'd like to. I don't think I'll ever be able to fulfill her dreams. I'm afraid I'll just be an emotional burden to her. I don't see a future for me... and I don't want to drag her down. I love her with all my heart, and I'd give her the entire universe, yet, I can't even give her a Valentine's present. And I hate myself for it. I have being so useless, so me. People constantly mock me and despise me. I try to do the stuff I love and show them, but they don't see a thing. Passion? That's bullshit, they say. The only thing that matters is that I show them the green paper.

Anyway, I guess this is my breakdown. Been a while in the making now. I'm just too tired. I thought I'd share this here because, well, it's the only little corner of life that I have. I have more friends on the internet than I ever had on real life, I guess that says something.

I'll come back, I guess. I have to, otherwise, I'll just go insane. A busy mind doesn't have time to be sad, doesn't? Maybe I'll be here in a few days, or weeks, I don't know. Don't worry, thanks to the awesome efforts of other doomers, the projects I started are still going to move. Wadarcheology, ER/IWA and WMC are in good hands. Even the Wadazine, it's almost done! So, keep your eyes open for that. Bye people. Keep playing.

Been thinking about making an image/capture archive of all the WADs that I've been playing. I actually have various albums, but on Hidden cause for some reason all the public ones get downvoted to hell lol

https://imgur.com/gallery/6asXzQQ

It has been a hard, difficult and somewhat irritating few days for me. From personal issues to the idealized destruction of what I believed in many concepts. I guess I could categorize it as ''part growing up'', or maybe not. Starting with the fact that personal issues have completely turned my life upside down, my motivation and desire to do anything has dropped drastically. You could say that I'm going through a stage of dysphoria, where nothing makes me feel good. At the same time that I lose the desire to make the slightest effort, I also feel a terrible sense of failure if I do nothing. The curse of productivity. I need to do something constantly in order to feel validated by myself, otherwise I see myself as mediocre and useless. This is not helped by the fact that half of my family also thinks that of me. Even though I try to do multiple creative projects, none of them make me any money, so by simple antonomasia, my family labels me as a failure. I guess breaking your back being a slave to your work is better for them. I guess that's what they want from me. Their intentions aren't bad, of course, but it's their execution of it and the lack of support they give me that makes me feel... broken.

On the other hand, Doom has started to... annoying me. Maybe that's a strong word, maybe what I mean is that he's tired me out. I don't know, honestly. I remember that for a while, I was able to play it all day long, even playing multiple WADs per day without stopping. Now, if I'm lucky, I can play 5 maps in a row.

Part of this is due to the multitude of projects I've been handling these days, but honestly, it's also due to a lack of personal support and my own insecurities attacking myself. The Wadazine, as great and fantastic as it is, is a very tiring project, especially when I have to do 50% of the written content due to lack of submissions. Luckily, I can always count on a team that takes the work off my shoulders and continues despite the difficulties. A recent member just took over the Endless Random /Idgames WAD Adventures and that gave me some hope. When once I was more than capable of handling a multitude of projects, writing multiple articles, reviews and playing the game with constant joy, now even the slightest effort tires, bores and irritates me. Why? I wish I could point exactly to a specific cause to remove it, but I think it is the final conglomeration of multiple things.

To my recent burn-out I can also mention the huge storm of dramas and discussions that have drowned the community in this month. Probably the one that stands out the most is the BoA one, which ended up even affecting me. Personally, the political, sensitive, moral or ethical issues are not what really affect me, but it is the terrible aggressiveness, condescension and constant conflict between all sides of the community that has, well, disappointed me. Here and there, there seems to be only conflict. In part this is natural, as it is practically an unwritten law that wherever there is a community of people, there will be conflict, but even so I can't help but feel that they are mistreating something I once believed to be more pristine, free and cooperative. Is this proof of the burning passion of doomers to maintain a status quo and defend the integrity of a group, or is it proof of the deep divergence between multiple sides sharing the same hobby divided by ideological pressures? Perhaps it is both.

But not everything is black and dark in the picture. I recently learned to use UDB, and thanks to the excellent guidance of an incredible tutor, I have managed to create my first map for the second WMC02 community project. I can say that I felt a little satisfaction at the idea of finishing it, but like water between my fingers, the satisfaction has escaped. Now I'm trying to make another map for the RAMP project, but I have to push myself to do it because otherwise, my mind only thinks ''stop, stop, stop''.

Anyway. Maybe I give too much importance to emotions and I should concentrate on a more pragmatic aspect of my life, but even there there are mistakes. The future is approaching and it seems grey to me, like a distant thunderstorm about to throw a lightning bolt at me. Soon I will return to the university after a sabbatical year, to study law, the most exciting, moral, ethical and beautiful career you can practice in a third world country, full of freedom of expression, achievable dreams and equality for all. I dream of being a writer someday, but just like a lot of other drowned dreams around the world, I am geographically and socially paralyzed in order to fulfill them. Here dreams only serve to depress you.

Coming full circle, I think this is why it hurts so much that Doom doesn't feel like it used to. It was, to put it simply, a nice escape. Sure, there are still plenty of positive stuff and activity going on, but where I once smelled the scent of satisfaction and the freshness of newness, now I just smell the same, and sometimes a little shit here and there. Now, it seems to be part of everyday life. Something I don't enjoy, everyday life.

Welp. I'll just keep playing this game of life.

I wish I could play Silent Hill 2, 3, or freaking 4 one more time. Oh, I wish they were still available for PC... Anyway, good night Doomers, rest well Doomworld.

I'm starting to get interested in the hobby of writing reviews, they look incredibly interesting and fun to do, and because I think I'm not that bad at writing and translating my ideas so I'd like to know:

Some recommendations for me? Of course, those who know about this.

PS: Although I think it would be somewhat complicated, English is not my main language, but I think I can overcome it.

Man, seeing the first seasons of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Friends makes me teary.

I never thought it would happen ... I just lost someone overly loved until the end of the world. And I do not know, I do not know how to ... handle so much. I think I'll take a break, bye bye.

Shout out to those communities and game devs that still support their games despite not having a fraction of the revenue and popularity Fotrnite produces:

- Doom

- Quake

- Counter-Strike (pretty much any Valve game gets patches/updates to this day, no matter how old)

- EverQuest

- Ultima Online

- Age of Empires

- The Lord of the Rings Online

- The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall

- Command and Conquer

- EVE Online

So, I currently use Shadowplay to record gaming footage, is simple and fast, but I cant record Doom (using GZdoom) Is there any other program so I can record Doom specifically? Or maybe some configuration so I can use Shadowplay? Thx. 

I was just wondering, whats that Warning circle down my profile pic? What is a ''Warning Point''? Thx.

Who here still reads blogs or follows some topic-related blogposter? I find it a little bit sad how the blog scene seems to be have dipped down in popularity and relevancy. I imagine the main reason behind this is probably the prevalence and accessibility of video vlogs, which seem to be more attractive to the modern user.

I enjoy videos, but I seem to lack the attention span to properly finish them. Even a 10-long video becomes quite the annoyance after a while. Reading tends to capture my attention more, and it is one of my main sources of entertainment nowadays. Blogs like ONEMANDOOM are gems that I really wish were more common and active.

I still have a semi-active blog myself, but it is mostly related to Warhammer 40k and Dungeons & Dragons stuff, but I been a little behind it lately because I haven't played none of those games for a while now due to lack of group/players, so I was thinking about resurrecting it with some personal Doom content. Maybe someone here would be interesting in what this endless man has to say? But then again, I fear it might just get dusted into the wind in quiet silence. I would love to have more interaction, but it seems videos are the ones that get the most and I don't really find myself enjoying video creation and editing.

But who knows, might do something someday :)

Do you guys ever felt like... letdown out of nowhere? Like, just without enthusiasm to get through the day, like a gloomy mood without any reason at all, just out of nowhere, a hanging shadow.

It kinda sucks...

Haha, that FPS scene in the movie of Doom is quite entertaining, although, well ... is the only thing that is saved from the movie, and even so I think the scene could be made much better.

Me after the 100th death on Scythe 2 map23.

In my simple practices, I'm somewhat advanced and I think I know the basics, however I have a question, how can I add exterior zones? I mean places without a roof and where Skyboxes can be placed.

Look at those newbie draws.

Sadly, I'm now back in college after a 1 year hiatus. I hate it, of course, but what itches me a bit is the fact that I now have less time to dedicate to Doom, especially playing Doom. I can't organize/host more games and I can't barely play by myself, but I'll try my best to keep it up. My main focus right now is on the Wadazine and the mapping projects. Mapping has been a very fun and interesting experience, albeit a very complex one for sure. Yet mapping takes me a lot, lot of time, to the point that I must sacrifice my playing time for it. I'm first a player and second a mapper, but I'll try my best to find the balance between those two and still be able to produce the Wadazine, my dear love.

Pity how 4 to 6 hours of free time a day feel so little now. Doom is something I love, my favorite game after all but is not my only passion or hobby.  I also love reading, watching movies and writing, and I'm also doing my best to workout at least 2 hours a day, but time is now more tight for everything.

So much to do, so much to create and so little time.

Just thinking, those any goood ''Story'' wads exist out there? Like, with actual plot? Haha I know how Doom works, but getting out of the box is fun. 

Would it be interesting to create some ''tales'' or ''fan fiction'' about Doom? Maybe some plot, or just some data, like demons, enemies, more weapons, etc. I think it sounds found, should I try ? 

Could end with a lot of story if I like it.

Bark bark bark bark

I may have the biggest ''About Me'' section in Doomworld...

I have this strange thirst for starting new projects all the time. I'm probably addicted to the rush of feeling the excitement of creating something new, the very idea of starting a new venture. On the one hand it's a good trait that encourages production, but on the other hand it also prevents me from attentively covering all the projects I handle and it constantly tires me out. Is this a creative thirst? Dopamine addiction? Lack of focus? I don't know. Sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I like it. The dichotomy of my being. My curse. My blessing.

Oh boy.

Here's what's new on my blog, including an article on why I love playing 90s WADs:

• WAD Review: Arrokoth
• WAD Review: TMP
• Why Play 90s WADs? Part 1

First part, next part, I'll be adding some commentary from fellow old-school appreciators :) Hope you guys enjoy the reads.