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Endless

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Status Updates posted by Endless

  1. Been a bit slow on the Doom duties lately. Working on a map for Neck Deep In The Gibs and been trying to play a bit more recent WADs. Anomaly Report is absolutely great so far, and I'm only half way in. Most of my efforts, however, have gone to 90s WADs, because I hate myself. In my quest to play and document every single ''Castle'' titled WAD on the /idgames archive, I've managed to play and document 14, so far. It is quite the experience to run a themed WAD marathon, and it has been quite fun! And goddamn thank god @Doomkid for DEGRINDER, otherwise some of those 90s WADs would make me go insane.

     

    As for mapping, well, I'm still working (kinda) on my map for WMC04: Brutalisk, alongisde @4MaTC. I'm also doing some CTF maps with the amazing @Arrowhead and @spwnSH4Rk. Both are incredible mappers that will take the spotlight... once they finally release the maps, that is lol. I did finish a map for Deadly Standards 4 and Pandora CP, both are still in the making, but soon to be released, I hope.

     

    On the other hand, now that I have better hardware, I've been thinking about doing Doom video essays. I've mostly stuck with written-word, but I think a video would be fun. And of course, I also want to bring back a new Doom podcast, but I'm quite insecure about my funny sounding voice, heh. Maybe I'll try to stream first, to see how it goes, and then we'll see. I think it would be very fun to have some of my Doom pals on stream, that I'd like.

     

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    1. Biodegradable

      Biodegradable

      Quote

      I've been thinking about doing Doom video essays.

      Videos, you say? Perhaps you could hire me to edit them. ;^)

  2. And the old man said:

    Begone now, and sail away

    Let the wind guide you

    Far, far away.

     

    Tanker.png

     

  3. Hey hey doomers. I just created a new blog for my projects outside Doom. In case there's any Dungeons & Dragons or fantasy fans here, go check it out! I talk everything and anything D&D and fantasy related :D

     

    https://endlessquesting.wordpress.com/

     

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  4. Animated GIF avatar master race gang!

  5. I am of the belief that everything, even the ugly and bad stuff, should be preserved as part of history to showcase an honest evolution of the actual progress of a community or event.

     

    As such, time to play and document more 90s WADs!

     

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    1. Searcher

      Searcher

      100% in agreement.  Without history we will have no clue how we got where we are, and who were the pioneers on the quest.

  6. Now that the submissions are over, the production work starts! Here's a blogpost about some of the upcoming content on Wadazine #18: https://wadazine.com/2022/03/whats-next-on-wadazine-18/

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    They call him the Mona Mancubisa.

    (Not final cover lmao)

  7. Hey guys!

     

    If you enjoy the work I do here at the Doom community, please consider joining my PATREON. It helps me a lot personally and keeps me improving. I also do a shit ton of other stuff apart from Doom, so if you're interested in nerdy content, take a moment to join :)

     

    ⛧Exclusive content ⛧Early-access ⛧PDF/Ebooks ⛧Access to WIPs ⛧And more!

     

    https://www.patreon.com/endlessdoom

     

    Also, the Wadazine Podcast is going to happen! Just need to get better equipment so the audio doesn't sound like crap. Due to some issues, I had to put it on hold for the moment, but I'm already excited to make it happen. Once that is done, I think we're set to go!

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  8. Have you guys seen this absolute BOMB of a collector's edition? It's glorious.

     

    1. Teo Slayer

      Teo Slayer

      I want one

  9. Hey hey hey people, seth Endless here. Just sharing with you guys the latest issue of the Wadazine! Come and read it if you haven't, now also available for download on the official Wadazine.com

     

    Also, I recently released a new vanilla map for my return, and it's quite the fun adventure! You can download it here if you're interested. Also includes a free Player's Guide designed by yours, truly.

     

    And I also want to, again, express my gratitude and thanks to all those who sent me support comments. It's been a wild ride, but fret not, I'm here to stay for a while longer. :D

  10. So... I'm leaving for a while.

     

    Well, my laptop is partially broken. Seems there's a problem with the motherboard and peripherals. Doesn't help the fact that it's also physically damaged. Don't think I'll be as active or productive as I used to be.

     

    It doesn't help that I'm genuinely tired of it all.

     

    I think I have been severely depressed for two years. Since I started college, right around the time of the pandemic, things have gone downhill tremendously. I have cut off relationships with family after work problems, I have been out of work for two years now too. My financial situation is dire. I have no friends in real life. I don't know if it's because they genuinely dislike me or because I'm just unlucky. My family is a total mess. I have never seen so much toxicity, fighting and confrontation for the most trivial things possible. To make matters worse, because I live in a small house, there is no such thing as privacy or silence. Screaming, screaming, screaming, every day...it's so tiring. I try to be different and not participate in the fights, but all it has done is cause me to now be used as a punching dummy. The worst thing is that the few times I have participated in arguments, they only make things worse. Pride and malice runs through the veins of these people. I genuinely believe that I live with bad people. The sad thing is that I used to live with my grandparents, but I moved in with my mom due to personal problems. She had always told me that she missed me and would like me to move in with her. Time goes by and now she just keeps passive aggressively insulting me, demanding that I give her money, throwing in my face that I am ''expensive'' because I eat and use electricity and water. She constantly demands that I contribute to the house and look for work, even though I have done so and am a full time student, or was. The funny thing is that I have used my little money to buy essentials, and she has never thanked me. She says we are in bad shape financially, but she constantly spends money buying expensive beauty products and beer. But of course... I'm the cause of the problems, she says. She doesn't mention the fact that my sister is genuinely manipulative, abusive, narcissistic and is the #1 cause of all the internal fights. She even kicked my mom, and yet... And yet, my mom spoils her. She buys her new cell phones, computers, expensive clothes, beauty products and so on. Want to know what's funny? None of my belongings are new. Everything I have is used. Donations out of pity. I only have two pairs of shoes, and a pair of flip flops. The reason my laptop is broken is because it was used for years and never taken care of by the previous owner, my grandpa. I live in a locked room, no closet, no air conditioning. Yet I am the trouble. Well, previously I used to live in a concrete room with no windows, so at least that changed... I guess.

     

    Anyway. I'm dropping out of college too.

     

    I was studying law. To be a lawyer. I realized it wasn't what I wanted and I hated everything about it, but I still struggled for 2 years for some vague hope. I had the idea that maybe I would get something, but the more reality set in, the more nepotism and corruption hit me in the face. Now, I can barely concentrate, I can barely study. I used to get good scores, but things have only gotten worse. I have no friends, no study groups, no way to socialize because of the pandemic. And the truth is... I don't belong in that culture, I don't have the personality to be a lawyer. I just get squeezed out by everything...

     

    Jobs are also hard to come by. There's shit of jobs available in my place, and most are for services, and god damn, I hate service. I used to be an hotel receptionist, and while I would always put a smile and be charismatic, the clients weren't, and god, it's so tiring, I can't deal with people, I seriously can't. I tried other stuff, I even tried a call center, but they rejected me because I live in a small city... and they only want people from the capital. So yeah, a door opens, but five others close.

     

    I have tried to follow my dreams of being a writer, but it is difficult. For years I've written tons of free stuff, and I wish I could be a professional sometime. But all circumstances are against me. I don't have the money, nor the resources, nor the geographic location for it. I tried to create a patreon, but it took me months. Why? Because I don't have a valid credit or debit card. I need money to have money, as ironic as it sounds. When I finally succeeded, it turns out that I can't use PayPal in Guatemala... oh joy. It feels like no matter what I do, there is always a wall in front of me.

     

    I even founded a little local club of TTRPGs and fantasy to try and make friends. It didn't work. People aren't interested on it. They don't really care about stuff like that. I have nothing to relate to to anyone. It's like I'm cut off of everything and anything. I'm just a lost soul in this place.

     

    My grandparents are also sick of COVID. They're vaccinated at least, so I hope they get better, but for the time being, they're in a bad state. But I know they'll get better. They're far more healthy than I am, hah.

     

    I tried to talk to my mom once about my depression. It was a total failure. In this place... depression is seen more as a kind of social embarrassment. It's a stigma. People don't believe in such things, after all, we survive in this country on ignorance, conformity and numbed feelings. People are so... inhuman around me. The funny thing is that the same people who have asked for my advice and sought my help, have refused to offer it to me. The ones I once considered my friends were only people with their own self goals.

     

    The only thing I have left is my girlfriend. Honestly, if it wasn't for her, I would have killed myself a long time ago. She is sweet and charismatic, and she listens to me and encourages me in everything. She is the only strength I have. Even though I can't see her every day or be around her, she always makes her presence felt. She even learned to play DOOM for me. How cool is that? She's the only thing I have... and yet I still worry about her. I don't think I'll ever be able to give her what I'd like to. I don't think I'll ever be able to fulfill her dreams. I'm afraid I'll just be an emotional burden to her. I don't see a future for me... and I don't want to drag her down. I love her with all my heart, and I'd give her the entire universe, yet, I can't even give her a Valentine's present. And I hate myself for it. I have being so useless, so me. People constantly mock me and despise me. I try to do the stuff I love and show them, but they don't see a thing. Passion? That's bullshit, they say. The only thing that matters is that I show them the green paper.

     

    Anyway, I guess this is my breakdown. Been a while in the making now. I'm just too tired. I thought I'd share this here because, well, it's the only little corner of life that I have. I have more friends on the internet than I ever had on real life, I guess that says something.

     

    I'll come back, I guess. I have to, otherwise, I'll just go insane. A busy mind doesn't have time to be sad, doesn't? Maybe I'll be here in a few days, or weeks, I don't know. Don't worry, thanks to the awesome efforts of other doomers, the projects I started are still going to move. Wadarcheology, ER/IWA and WMC are in good hands. Even the Wadazine, it's almost done! So, keep your eyes open for that. Bye people. Keep playing.

    1. Show previous comments  9 more
    2. Thelokk

      Thelokk

      Try and get better, and be back soon! 

    3. Andromeda

      Andromeda

      Well this hurt to read, especially given that I'm in a slightly similar situation. Seek help, take your time and you'll manage to escape the abyss you're in. Having a supportive partner that wants to see you prosper is a good reminder that life is worth living, even if currently things are looking bleak. We'll all be rooting for you!

    4. Endless

      Endless

      A thousand thanks for the absolutely kind words, everyone. It's been a rough couple days, but I find myself in a less tired position now. I also got a backup pc some days ago, so I'll start working with my projects once again on full gears, I hope. Again, thanks a lot for the comments, they do mean a lot and help.

  11. New Wadazine Blogpost

    What's Next on Wadazine #17 ?

    https://wadazine.com/2022/02/whats-next-on-wadazine-17/

  12. Community Round-up! A central repository of weekly Doom news.

     

     

  13. The Wadazine has it's own article on the Doomwiki now! Awesome to see it preserved on the true encyclopedia ;)

     

    Thanks a lot to PhilthyPhilistine for creating the article and @Dynamo for improving it.

     

    https://doomwiki.org/wiki/The_Doom_Master_Wadazine

  14. Hey! Do you wanna contribute to the community? You can do it fast and easy with us! The Wadazine is always looking for more contributions in the Doom field; WAD reviews, articles, ads, interviews, guides, tutorials, historical pieces, etc. Feel free to join us and be part of a little piece of our long history!

     

    Join us for more » » https://discord.gg/Q2RKn4J

    And check our work » » https://wadazine.com/

     

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  15. I found out something important: It's usually a good idea to stick to something and focus on it until you finish it or feel happy with it, instead of starting 10 different projects all at the same time and working on them randomly.

     

    Who knew.

    1. Arrowhead

      Arrowhead

      I know that feeling too well - I've got a lot going on right now Doom-wise, it can be a little bit overwhelming sometimes.

  16. A very interesting project regarding some dreaded nice shovelware adventures! If you guys like to experience Doom like if it was the 90s, with all its ugly glory, you should give it a look!

     

  17. The year is almost over, and here at the Wadazine, we would like to know what you think about us! Please, take a minute or two to participate in this survey and help us improve by sharing your thoughts.

     

    » » https://forms.gle/ENx1JccDLebGimPF6

     

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  18. If you haven't read it, now's a good time! Wadazine #16, our last gift of the year!

     

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    1. Remilia Scarlet

      Remilia Scarlet

      Woo! Already at #16, wow

  19. WMC04: Heresy

    • 8 new maps for Heretic.
    • New monsters.
    • New weapons.
    • New textures.
    • Skill balanced.
    • Pretty heretical.

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  20. wow.wad | By lord and savior, Paul Thrussell | 1999 anno Thrussellmini | Played on my 6 chakras.

     

    As per DW requirements of the Dooms' great executor and overlord on the internets,

     

    Wow.WAD. A transcendental work that is limited to the eyes of man, visiting our deepest dreams and pulling us out of our most dangerous nightmares. Born of the very sin that originates in temptation, it is the good, which is within the evil, and the evil, which is within the good, for wow.wad is everything, and at the same time, it is nothing, but being a part of it, even if it is not a part of everything. Now, we all know the momentous story of complete realizations juxtaposed against the implausible reality of the universe. The creation of life itself comes with the birth of none other than our lord and savior John Carmero. I quote: ''And thus they saw it was good, and thus Doom came to be'' - Book of Sins 1:1. Such a manifestation of power and skill was relapsed into the creation of an item as magnificent as it is epic. A key to all dimensions that imbued matter and non-matter under a complete synergy that falls upon each of our ancestors. Doom bore fruit in 7 days, and on the 8th, trillions of souls fell under its misfortunes... but all was not as harsh and grim as the ancient ancients would have us believe. While we may well remember the eternal conflict of wram that took the lives of millions of young people, there still remains a bit of the light of hope that filled us with grace during our darkest days... that light is wow.wad. A light so bright, so magnificent that it represents not only the very ideals of humanity itself, but the creed that has been gifted to us through the prophets of this beautiful stricken universe. Our Lord, John Carmero is the only light and source of all grace, but in his beauty and mercy, we have been blinded from love that we have been unable to love ourselves. And now, 2 days after creation, we have been embroiled in decades, centuries, seconds of conflict. War and pain brings with it sins as devastating as... the doomers. Their very name is tantamount to fury. There is nothing more terrible and bloody than the fury of a doomer, and worse if he only plays with the demon's weapons: dosbox. But amidst the fury of fire, wow.wad brought us all together under one sweet hope. The enjoyment of a technical marvel that is not only able to demonstrate the terrible magnificence of all that is good in this universe, but also, in sweet dichotomy, denying the denials, lies the sad side of this world. What is, then, the true meaning of Doom? Is it not the enjoyment of the game? Or could it be... something more transcendental? For we transcend today, brothers and sisters, to a new hope. Behold, wow.wad... the symbolism, the allegory, the presence of this magnificent work gives us not only an answer to the universe itself, but establishes the qualities of what it means to be human. And so, the doomers may attack us day and night, but as long as there is wow.wad, there is hope! In his inks he teaches us the pain and sacrifice that makes our wounds shine, and in his linedefs lies the secret to the sweet truth and beauty of the world: a cube. Why is this cube, then, so precious, incandescent, magnificent, marvelous, exquisite, delicious, delightful, pretty, glorious and beautiful? Because of the blockmap, brothers and sisters. The blackmap is the living and unique representation of life itself. Nothing compares to it, for in it we can find the 4 walls of perfection: left wall, right wall, lower wall, upper wall. Together, they form the cube. Can't you see it? Ignorant lost souls, how much I have cursed you, but here, today I come to prophesy to you, for the truth is found... in wow.wad. Look to the technical wonders of today, and you may find the loss of yesteryear, for in the eternal tradition that stands throughout this beautiful world, we have forgotten our roots, our origin... for what is it that we are? Hear me then, for this is the bitter truth: we are doomers. As human as we believe ourselves to be, our life is nothing to the prophets of old, for we have fallen into the same sin of our greatest enemy, the doomers. And so, now, what shall we do to save ourselves from this doom? Look at wow.wad brothers, look at it, study it, appreciate it, love it, because in it.... lies salvation.

     

    2 out 5. Haven't played, but good WAD.

     

    Endless, lord & prophet of the wow, signed.

    1. leodoom85
    2. Nikoxenos

      Nikoxenos

      Check your spelling, peasant.

    3. lokbustam257

      lokbustam257

      glad I check my notification

  21. The next edition of the Doom Master Wadazine starts rolling gears, and we want to make a special feature with our readers.

     

    Send us a comment (like if it was a letter) about what you think of the Wadazine, our work, opinions, your favorite issues or what you think of 2021 in DOOM.

     

    You can send them directly to my Doomworld DMs, or through Discord: [WZ] 𝕰𝖓𝖉𝖑𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖘#2065

    Some examples of things you can tell us about:


    - Your favorite issue
    - Your general opinion about the Wadazine
    - Feedback or critique
    - Your favorite WADs recommended by our reviews and articles
    - New trivia that you learnt reading us
    - Your own interactions with our team and contributing to us
    - How much you hate Revenants
    - Etc!

     

    And I'll answer them all in our next issue!

     

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  22. Hey hey hey people, Endless here.

     

    Don't forget to check out our latest Wadazine issue! This halloween special is full of awesome Doom-stuff to read about.

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