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Janderson

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About Janderson

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  1. I have lived with scores of lying bastards. The lies themselves showed up in a variety of hues and shades. Some small, some believable, some defying physics, geography and human anatomy and others that can only be described as legendary. I have also found despicable and shameful as well.

    I love listening to people who are blatently lying and I love it more when they get caught out. I love it so much I have a top ten, these came from various people.

    10. I own a Lamborghini (Flaw: numbers and colours of Lamborghini(s) change, without fail, on the hour.)

    9. I'm telling you my own boarding house experience (Flaw: I had just told you those exact boarding house stories 10 minutes ago.)

    8. I can play the clarinet (Flaw: you don't know what a reed is.)

    7. I was once asked to play basketball professionally but I declined because I wanted to play soccer (Flaw: you can't play either.)

    6. My friend threw me out of the window and I was in a coma for three days. (Flaw: what you mean you weren't shot? Oh you were by an arab, and not your friend? But you weren't in a coma... oh you were in a coma? For three weeks you say! Keep your story straight.)

    5. I have top secret photographs of top secret helicopters. (Flaw: my RAF enthusiast friend just named them and told us the specs, when they were made and in which conflicts they were used.)

    4. I ran from A to point B (an hours car ride away) in twenty minutes. (Flaw: You can't run a hundred meters without breaking into a walk.)

    3. I crashed my dad's tank and the army replaced it the next day. (Flaw: I crashed my dad's tank and the army replaced it the next day.)

    2. When my house in Kuwaite was bombed I ran back in to save an autographed football. (Flaw: The last time your area was bombed you were about seven, and living elsewhere.)

    1. Here is the most disgusting sympathy grabbing action I have ever heard:

    J - ME
    S - LIES
    T - 3rd PARTY

    S: Ok, I've got two more weekends, the CMSR, a few weeks of dog handling and I'm getting deployed to Iraq!
    J: You keep talking about it. So why do you want to go to Iraq so bad?
    S: Huh?
    J: Why are you desperate to serve in Iraq?
    S: Well you see, it's very personal, and I haven't told anybody before... my bestfriend went out, I said I'd see him there, but he never came back. (Says he solemnly, fair enough)
    J: Hmmm, revenge...
    S: Yup.
    J: Do you think you could ever fight alongside Iraqi soldiers? (Preparing for my Soldier can't Pick his Enemies speech)
    S: Good question... no, I couldn't do it.
    T1: (Joining us) What's this about?
    S: I couldn't fight for Iraqis.
    T1: Why not?
    S: Because my bestfriend's brother went out to Iraq. He never came back.
    T1: (Doubtful) Hmmm.
    J: (LOLLOLOOLoololololololol!)

    I don't know... maybe I misheard, perhaps it was the Cola making him hyper again... perhaps a conversation a fortnight later will clear this up.

    S: Ok, once I pass this weekend, it's the CMSR, Dog handling trade traing and then Ireland!
    J: What happened to Iraq.
    S: Nah, I have to go to Ireland!
    J: Er... how come?
    S: Well my brother went to Northern Ireland... I said I'd meet him out there next year, but he never came back.
    J: (At this point I'm disgusted, then...)
    T2: What the fuck? No soldiers have died out there for years!
    S: It was a while back. Mate.
    T2: I was stationed out there last year. It was fucking boring.
    S: ...long, long time ago, mate.
    J: (At this point I was trying to hold in my laughter so badly I almost fell on my arse)


    Hey so got any stories of a bullshitter exposed? Any extremely pointless lies that have blown up in peoples faces? Anything so dumb you just nod your head and try to keep poker faced?

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. Kid Airbag

      Kid Airbag

      I don't think I've known anyone who's been such a blatant bullshitter since like first grade, when some kid told me he knew the guy who wrote Goosebumps.

      Like all the time people tell tall tales about their drinking/hooking up adventures, but they're never so outlandish it's obviously a lie.

    3. AndrewB

      AndrewB

      I know at least one person like that. Except he lies about totally worthless things (like our 10-year-old projection television is HDTV).

      It doesn't affect me if other people lie their whole life, though. At least I taught Eminem how to rap.

    4. SYS

      SYS

      Reminds me of a fellow I know. He always tells these ridiculous lies like "In Greece we shoot the Albainians that go into our backyard" It's funny, you ask him about a particular story and he'll tell it entirely different everytime you ask him.

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