Sephiroth

there is one part of my self i don't like that i can change in an instant. my name. I am named after my father, a man whom i am nothing like nor can i respect. I dont like being confused with a corrupt drug addicted lawyer who let whores beat his children. I am a completly differnt person than my father. also the fact that just about everyone else with my last name is about the same way.

the name i may choose is a name my grandmother wanted, but she died 4 years before i was born. however i would most likly change the whole name, not just the first. most likly taking my mother's last name of murray.

in which case i would become James Murray.

it is something i have thought about doing for a long time, ever sence i was 10. its not really an if at this point, but when.

I'll admit i havn't been playing doom III that much. infact i don't think i have touched it once in the last 3 weeks. don't get me wrong the game is awsome and i love it. No its not because windows has been banished to the 20GB drive or that there is no Linux port yet. nor is the fact i don't have time, i got plenty. I think that my interests are shifting. example would be TV. i used to always watch TV, now i hardy ever. Music is another thing. I havnt bought a CD in a year, nor have i downloaded much of anything.

now i have been getting more into other stuff. stuff i really never did, like messing with unix/linux/DOS. i remember, back in the day, playing doom and other games for hours. now all those games seem to do is collect dust. I know i will bounce back into games. cause i know i had loads of fun with them. Also seems that games today don't seem to offer as much as they did 5 years ago. we have seen it all. about the only series next to doom, final fantasy, that i care about has even lost intrest. The last game i bought was Silent hill IV. and it looks to be the last game for a while. atleast that i will buy, Halo II i will get from a friend's stepdad.

granted the original dooms still see some action but there are times i put them down for a while. I have wanted to reinstall half-life and they hunger.

Doom III can never hold the same apeal the orignal doom games held. onething is the fact that the FPS type games isnt a new idea. also i am older and have seen more. Doom was sureal at the time i first saw it. Yes doom III has amazed me, but it can't blow me away like doom did. (infact no game can) I think its that feeling i miss. however i was not disapointed in doom III, it was as i expected and a tad bit more. at the time i first saw doom i was still useing 80286 and apple IIe systems, atari 2600 for gaming and gameboy aswell. Doom was more than stick figures and poor sound. I drew me into computers aswell. i had to learn from scratch how to use DOS. looking back i laugh at some of the stuff i though and did. i think one reason i have lost interest in games is because i found that excitment else where, in unix and linux.

this woman may look innocent, but talk with her for five minutes and you realize she is wacked out of her damn gord. that is if she will talk to you. I don't know why she chose to talk to me in the first place.

a woman came into the store to buy a computer. well she waited around for 30 minutes and was getting pissed, so a manager grabbed me. i helped her out and all the normal stuff. however now that i remember it she didn't like the fact that there were other people around or near her. she also became very upset and disturbed when a man in the next deparment was checking out a camera, it was kinda pointed in our direction. she then asked about airplanes above her house. asking if they could listen in on her. i told her a jet makes too much noise and did my best to turn the discussion back to the computer. however later she kept talking about that subject. either this woman has something to hide or is insane. i told her if she has an issue to talk with the police. she left for the night, was going to "check" her house as she put it. then she was to return to get the computer.

i dont know what happened because i was off the clock, aperently she did return to get some other things but held off on the computer. anyways i figured i would never ever see her agian. i was wrong. she came in today, and i am guessing yesterday, tog et the computer. sadly it was sold and she was convinced that the guy with the camera bought it. I told her it is a popular model and that we can order it. so she said she would return, but began to talk of being watched.

now i have this disturbing feeling i am in for a bit of an adventure. i will have to discuss her with security and tell them that she is highly paranoid and possibly dangerous

well i reinstalled RTCW in linux today and nothing works!

i first run it and get this error
1609 files in pk3 files
----- CL_Shutdown -----
-----------------------
----- CL_Shutdown -----
-----------------------
Sys_Error: Couldn't load default.cfg

never before has it done that. i did what has work 100 time before.
install game with executable then place pak files in the main directory

so ok, i make a blank default.cfg file so it will run. movie is perfect but no graphics after that. not even text in console.
what in the holy fuck is with RTCW i linux?

all drivers and such are perfect, all other games run fine includeing enemy territory

last time an issue was that some graphics where removed and i found it was due to the RTCWkey file, i deleted it and all was perfect.

this time i went thru and didnt see it, i even added it. no effect

what the hell is it doing. and how do i fix it. i am useing latest version. if need be where can i download this default.cfg file. its not on the RTCW disk

of all the annoying fads out there, this one has to come up.
little yapp'n dogs

ok if you own one it is ok. however dont carry the beast where ever you go. i am sorry but that is pathetic. I am so sick of seeing old people walk into the store with poodles and shit.

i have seen this all start this month. people walking into best buy with small dogs. strangly it has been old people, and i havnt seen any chuauaua (giant mexican rat) there should be a "not pets" rule. its and electronics store for christ sakes.
there are 2 issues at hand

public safty, what if the animal is carring a disease, bites some one, attacks another animal causes a ruckus. in this sue happy day i am sure a law suit will come
reason 2, sanitary reasons. ok a dog would feel free to just shit and piss in an isle, also add the safty thing to this. what about flees and other debris on the animal's coat? i mean i know from experince that dirty people have dirty dogs.

ok people, its a best buy, not petsmart! i was even more surprised to learn we have no rules on pets! so buy that standard i can bring in a large snake, and then he could have lunch more offten.

Well took a bit of a break before christmas. So i went up to see my grand parents who i will not see agian for a while, next summer.

This place is really wierd. They claim the house is haunted. IF you know more about the area then you can kinda see why.

The area was home to native american tribes. It's rare, but sometime bones are found when homes are built. A walk in the field behind this house can turn up handfuls of arrow heads and other objects. The road outside of the home is a death trap, literaly. numerous deaths have occured infront of this house or land surrounding the house. Mainly due to people being drunk or stupid. Infact a rather creepy message has been scrawed onto a telephone pole in front of the house.

Needless to say this is NOT a house to stay up and play silent hill 2. I did that the other night, and it really freaked me out. mainly cause my grandfather walke dinto the room very quitly and a saw something moving in the window, his reflection/shadow.

things that are wierd here.
foot steps, often from the basement or attic.
voices, but very rare. usally heard by children. once heard by adults during christmas.
moving objects, common. fucking ghost took my damn X-box controller! maybe it just wants to challenge me to a game of halo? no, shit just moves around. pictures have "flown" across the room. and in one case a toy riendeer was unpacked and turned on in the basement.
electornic devices behave oddly. batteris die early or devices randomly come on and shut off. so far computers not affected. However the area does have odd geological activity and there are 3 large radio/TV stations near by. those may also explain "voices"

Its creepy here, but peaceful. Nothing bad has ever happened to a family member here. Only to the careless drivers and drunks outside of the home.

what? the sephiroth is going to meet a girl? how can this be?

well yes i am going to meet a girl. I let some girl at work trap me into meeting with her friend. situations like this are an odd thing for me. one i am not very trusting of people. two is the fact i know almost nothing about this girl. also add in the fact that bars are not at all a place I enjoy.

anyways wish me luck, i am heading out in an hour. i just hope this isnt a mistake. and i hope she doesn't ask me if i said stake.

...how is it? I hope you know that is not for children." a man says
"yes i know, i am 21" i reply
"any children in the house under 16?" the man asks agian
"Nope." i reply

the last moments of an odd call. the group
http://www.dove.org/
had called, ironicly he began talking about family values and some shit while i was playing doom III and listening to marilyn manson. i then asked him about how they felt about doom III and such, he told me the give guides on media for families.
this IS a crackpot fundalmentalist group mind you. however the guy on the phone didnt give me a lecture or hang up.

the site seems rather tame, not a whole lot of out rite bashing for not being cristian. there is no refernce to the doom games on the site

...because i blew up the pourch steps.

being bored and spending time with a stoned friend is not a good idea. we have had our fair share of misadventures. this one included a hammer, a cement pourch step and a strip of explosive charges for a nail gun.

well we decide to set off some of these charges. they are basicly blanks. they are even bullet shaped. to set them off you have to hit them from behind. so we searched for something to hold them. the pourch use to have a wood border around it and there were still holes from the screws. we stuck a shell in there and slammed it. it didnt work, it just pushed it into the hole. so i gave up and went to remove it. however my friend wasn't about to give up. however before he could swing his phone rang. so he was talking on the phone when he took his mighty swing.
BAM! the thing went off and blew a large section of cement right off the step and into his face.
I fell down because i was laughting so hard. the person on the phone didn't hear the explosion surprisingly.

today we are fixing the step.

however at least we can fix it, this isnt like the time another of his friends cut down a tree.

i have been doing computer work for a guy for about a year. and i have learned one thing, this guy is a bum. a complete bum! now if he was single i could understand, ask long as i got paid. however he is married, the wife does all the work. to make it more pathetic the guy has 6 children.

he got laid off 3 years ago, well buddy time to find a job. i dont care how much you got paided mowing lawns, i could not have been worth that much. and they aren't gonna hire you back anytime soon. even a temorary job at McDonalds is acceptable untill you find something better.

instead he spends his days bitching about bush and republican. he writes his own leftist newsletter. while that is all fun and good, he still dont get paid. simply put, find a damn job, any job.

it is pathetic to bitch yet still not do anything. bush himself is not keeping you from getting a job, and writing a leftist newsletter isnt gonna get you paid, unless you join and do work for some organization. honestly he could do that. he does alot of research, and devotes alot of time to this newsletter (its some 27 pages on average) also has a degree in journalism, needs a single class to get his law degree. so he is not lazy or even stupid. he just dont use common sence.

he would have a good job if he put even half of what he does for the newsletter into getting a job.

personaly i was never into dating. i did a few times but nothing ever really came of it.
i did have girls i had crushes on. one of them for the longest time. however i never acted on it. recent girls just didn't have any appeal to them.

however that all changed last week. I had been trying an internet dateing site. i figured it was worth a shot. little did i know i would meet a really nice girl.

now i know its far too early to say she is the love of my life, but i really feel something with her. I love being around her, talking to her, feeling her embrace, her smile, her eyes. its as if i have known her for a very long time. she says she feels the same towards me.

it all happened so fast, however it feels good. i feel good about her and i feel as if i can trust her. something that has always been difficult for me to do. however my gut instinct is usally right.

its proof to me that there are still good people out there. it makes me feel so much better about my self. i am really begining to get to know her, but like i said it feels as if i have known her for years.

at bestbuy there is a safty poster. however it forms a curious acronym and nobdy caught this until last night

Face that ladder
Use the right tool
Careful up there
Keep it clean

Look forward when u lift.

ironicly the guy who noticed this was named larry. so its now FUCK L

i am once agian working on a friend's computer. this thing is so totally screwed up it isnt funny. what seems to have caused so much damage? well besides the fact kids spilled chocolate milk on it, tobbacco smoke. i mean fuck this thing is so nasty to look at. everything inside has a nice glaze of tar yellow and brown ash. even new hardware that i installed 6 months ago. i installed a new floppy and hard drive. the floppy is completely shot, coated with its layer of ash and tar. the whole thing smells like some one smoked inside of it. the new CPU fan was covered and gumed up, thing barly works.

lesson, dont smoke around your computer! and take better care of them. this computer is basicly trashed. i cant get windows to install or even boot up. same with linux.

two words that sum up my brother. a 19year old kid who has no money, never even sleeps in his own bed, thinks he knows alot about cars and can't get a job.
we have been getting a shit load of calls from banks and such stating he owes money, and he does. simply put i told one of them to call my father over the matter as my brother will not speak to them. this is getting me pissed, cause i have a job and work.

he said he started a job today, i asked him what time he goes in, he said he already did and got home at 11:30. well ahhh, he is a dumbass. if you are gonna lie put more thought into it. i was awake and sitting at this computer at 11:30 and his fat ass was down stairs.

Needless to say i am tired of this lazy chunk of worthless lard. he tries to get "better" jobs. he cant because he has no training nor has he held any job longer than 6 months. i told him just to go back to McDonalds, even if for a few months. also i told dad to sell his car, and give him a shit car.
honestly i would take the car but i dont know how to drive stick very well

yea we all do stupid things, however some things are so retarded that is appears the some people have abandoned all reason.

so who would you say deserves the bonehead of the month award.

i am saying my brother. besides being a lazy SOB he is also incredibly dumb. his lack of common sense baffles the mind. example, the shower. he decides to take his laptop into the bathroom with him. despite the fact you should avoid rooms full of mist and 100% humidity. now it don't work, duh.

come on someone has to do better, i know there are many more complete retards out there

there spell checked

while i may not be the smartest and greatest alive, i seem like it compared to others.

take this for instance.

a girl i know who decided she liked me, or didnt, then turns a 180 on me. i think she was useing me to get back at someone. i knew something was up so i stayed away from her the whole time. i had to laught at her games. anyways she has now decided to mary this guy, a guy who is over 10 years older. the guy is a drunk and doesnt have a stable job. so here is a little more

she also happens to have a very bad illness and i give her at most 10 years given her current status. she could live 60 more years but that involves takeing care of one's self. the illness causes extream clotting of the blood and weak blood vessles. exersize would make them strong agian, so would eating right. also she decided not to go to the doctor with phnumonia(spelling?) and was near death when she was finaly put in. this caused massive damage to the circulation system and resulted in complications. this could be over come with regular medication and exersize, but she refuses. on top of this she has not worked for over 4 years. her father was taking care of her payments.

she has no money and thinks the guy she is going to marry can take care of very expensive medical treatments. to top it off she is moving to england, thinks she has a better chance there. well like i said no money, hubby is just as bad (and an alcoholic) so if they cant make it in america how well do u think they will do over there.

also this bitch loves to nag and is a very angry person, so if her laziness doesn't piss him off the nagging will.

the parents already told her that she cant come back, they are tired of her hateful attitude. i told her if she needs help to come find me, but it is kinda a trick. if she does try to find me i will make sure i lead her to the worse most violent part of eastern europe.

so I say good redince(spelling) to her, stope feeding on the american economy bitch.

so all you UK people get to deal with her.


another girl i know is just dumb. she is in love with me but i am not in love with her. infact she use to be my bitter rival because of this. she fallowed me around the first day i met her. this was annoying beacuse i was not use to it. she is a slut and i know she has been 'hooking' lately. so i am oviosly not gonna do anything with her. i always knew she was a slut, shame really, nice girl. just dumb as a box of rocks.

anyways what stupid people have pissed you off or you have run into.

PETA, the assholes for animal rights, is screwing things up around here.

basicly they are trying to get across a pet-ban. mainly geared towards exotics, which is anything BUT cat or dog.

while i dont see a problem banning such large preditors such as bears, tigers and lions. aswell as highly venomous snakes. many animals on the list make no sence at all.

such as venomous spiders? (all spiders use venom!) scorpions, makes a little more sence. all sankes, many lizards, a number of fish, mixed wild dogs (cyote, dingo, wolf breeds) weasels (your pet ferrets) even my prize cock roach colony.

this law was placed on hold last winter. it was pushed forward by a few panicy people and those PETA fuck-offs. namly an event in which a fire fighter died from a snake bite and a few events with large mammals.
the fire fighter is by far an outrage, both to his wife, researchers and those who know him. first off they did a massive spin on it and made it look like the guy hung on for a week and that anti-vemon was only a few minutes too late. fact is the guy was dead before he got to the hospital. the man had owned the snake for years and his wife knew it was an accident. she hold no grudges, not even aginst the snake. which is alive an well. she said she knows her husband would hate to see such a law.
also a few friends have done or still do research. infact the group i am with has been doing surveys about populations. as well as educational programs and the promotion of responisble owner ship.

problems with the law
law is far too vague to work
it would increase the work load on a city deep in debt, that is short staffed and untrained to deal with these animals.
research will be driven away. this includes many medical researchers.
our work with the state on tagging and surveying animals will come to an end.
my release of the cockroaches into the city building if the law passes.
did i mention i have 6, 40 gallon tubs and 2, 20 gallon tanks filled with live cockroaches!

things on our side
an under staffed, over budgeted city
PETA is a mass of complete morons, yes they even went as far as to add cats and dogs on the list.
a number of researchers
pet owners
pet stores
10,000,000 cockroaches, hey they eat a 25lb bag of dog food a week!
local reptile groups
widow of the fireman
local zoos, guess who will get the call to keep said animals if it passes

if a laws does get passed i highly dout it will last, just like prohibition, or it will be un-enfocred.

while people in a city dont need bears, tigers, pumas, venomous snakes and such i see no reason to ban other things. more so when this can effect researchers, zoos, museums and schools

i am trying to find a "pet" that also serves as food. no not for me and i use the term pet loosly.

i need a simple organism, sea based, that can be easily bred and the processed for feeding to amphibians. think brine shrimp, however rather than just going with, brine shrimp i would like to try something a bit interesting

primarily Bioluminescent Dinoflagellates, these are simply glowing plants. i have found a number of labs i can order them from.

another, and more desired, creature would be one of the many types of Bioluminescent copepods, small animals.

if any of you guys have ever bred or run across a site that sells them, please tell me. yes i have too much time on my hands

of all the biologicly useless items to grow from your body i can only thing of one that is totaly useless, toe nails.
these seem to cause too many problems. so i called the doctor today to get another one removed. these SOB's hurt, and to make my life a living hell i work a job that involves being on your feet 8 hours a day lifting heavy object.

so now that i get today and tomarrow off, i set an apointment for later today to have this bastard cut out.

this one i broke while jogging in the woods. was swiping at the flys in my face and didnt notice a large tree root. my foot made solid contact with that bastard and shattered the left side of the nail. anyways gonna take advantage of the last 2 months of being on my dad's health care.

my brother is a lazy worthless slob. works 2 hours a week, yet has a $500 car payment. his days are spent sleeping on the couch.

the bastard is too lazy to walk to his own room. instead sleeps in the most used room of the house. he bitches when we wake him up. honestly i would slap him with a bat for being such a tard.
so if in a week he is not regularly useing his room it WILL become a server room, for all my large, noisy computers. the SOB will bitch, but remeber bums dont have rights.

any of u got worthless sibs out there

the ban passed. this was a ban on exotic animals for the city of dayton, in Ohio. this is most any animal outside of a dog or cat. this even goes into birds and fish.

now i understadn banning tigers, bears and venomous animals. but things like small corn snakes and iguanas. well fuck you PETA! now i want to ass rape these bastards with a red hot iron or a shotgun...

this will also affect a number of local farms and researchers. we have been instructing all venom researchers to leave ohio if bans start passing. a few did when word of a ban first came. a numeber of farms in the area raise animals such as
emu, elk, deer and ostrich. animals that where added to the list.

this is what happens when bat shit insane groups are able to get any control.

so FUCK you PETA! those bastards should leave people alone. its one thing to pick on a large company, like beef industry. but private citizens, shit.


whats that i hear? i think the roaches want to be released. ok guys i'll let you out for a night on the town.

the other day i saw something i thought was only a myth, SH 3 PC version.

though i had heard of a PC version and even the site has it listed i still was not sure.

this was at the end of the day and a drop shipment came into work. one box contained SH 3.

anyways i am gonna get it

however i must ask, what all is in the PC version.

is it just a port, or have they added stuff?
i know they have really beefed up the graphics.

hopefully they have it out tomarrow, to sell. i now know the PC version has been out for some time.

well after a month of setting traps a chipmunk was defeated by its own greed. The SOB had become so fat and had so much in its mouth that it got stuck going into its hole. He had a play date later that day with the lovable rocky, a 6 foot ball python.

i walked out of my house and saw the SOB dive into its hole. I couln't belive it when i saw that the hide legs were stuck out and wriggling. so i grabbed them and pulled. i then asked for some pliers so i could remove him without being biten. however that too would have been impossible. the chipmunks mouth was filled with sonflower seeds and corn. it didnt even spit them out to get away. after pulling it out it tried to bite the pliers but could not turn its head. after a quick knock to the head it fell limp. even then it didnt give up its prise. so i pried it away and put him in the freezer to kill of any parasites.

i will post pics.

also if you remember a year ago the pics of the chickens

ever sence we moved in this house i can remember finding these small red stones. even to this day i still dont know what the hell they are. so if any of you are geology geniuses let me know. infact i dout these even are rocks, but it is the best way to discrib them.

ok about the 'stones'

small gravel like 'stones' largest get about 2cm in size.
blood red color over most, if not all, the surface
texture is smooth, like any polished small gravel
the fact that i have seen no rocks with these embedded forces me to belive that they are man made. also the dark blood red color.
remains offten found, from a barn or other structure that exsisted here atleast 75 years ago. nails (old school style) various hooks, mounts, a very old and large door hinge, tool parts (axe and hammer heads, blades), iron bars and even lantern parts.

these stone may have had some far useage, or may have been a by-product of some process. if these are natural they are very strange and if they are rock maybe i can be rich selling blood red stones or something

i have decided i will no longer help this couple... for free. i was helping them with their computer and internet however going over there is a pain in the ass. their kids just run amok and destroy everything, mainly the youngest. he even destoryed a computer. honestly that is when you spank a kid, not just say "bad" like its a dog.

to make matters worse the kids abuse their last computer. turn it off when they cant get on, passwords prevent them from getting on. also by screwing around with alot of stuff.

though what they do is easy to fix, but when you have 3 screaming kids fallowing you around and constatly buggy you. add in breakign stuff, throwing stuff, fighting yelling and such it gets to be a pain.
its not that i dont like kids. these kids are just not at all punished for the shit they do. say like, pouring pop into a computer or throwing plates into the ceiling fan. shit like that deserves a spanking and a grounding. today i am fixing the last problem, i belive it is realted to the fact they didn't pay the god damn bill for the internet.