Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Naked Snake

Members
  • Content count

    11382
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Naked Snake

  • Rank
    Why don't I have a custom title by now?!

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Single Status Update

See all updates by Naked Snake

  1. This is old, but good....

    Bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
    BritneySpears14: Aight.
    bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
    bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
    bloodninja: Me too baby.
    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
    bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
    BritneySpears14: Hey...
    bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
    bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
    bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
    bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
    BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
    bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
    bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
    bloodninja: Baby?

    -------------------

    bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
    j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
    bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
    j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
    bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
    j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
    j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
    j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
    bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
    bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
    j_gurli3: thats it.
    bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
    bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

    --------------

    BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
    eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
    BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
    eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
    BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
    BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
    eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
    eminemBNJA: Oh ****
    BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
    eminemBNJA: Oh ****
    eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

    Girl: Hi
    Boy: hello
    Boy: who is this?
    Girl: just a someone?
    Boy: A someone I know?
    Girl: nope
    Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
    Girl: well sorrrrrry
    Girl: I just wanted to chat with you
    Boy: why?
    Girl: nevermind your an asshole
    Boy: Hey wait a minute
    Girl: yes?
    Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
    Girl: paranoid?
    Boy: yes
    Girl: of what?
    Girl: me?
    Boy: No. I'm in hiding.
    Girl:
    Boy: Don't fucking laugh at me!
    Boy: This shit is serious!
    Girl: What are you hiding from?
    Boy: The cops.
    Girl: gimme a fucking break
    Boy: I'm serious.
    Girl: I don't get it
    Boy: The cops are after me.
    Girl: For what?
    Boy: I'm wanted in three states
    Girl: For???
    Boy: It's kindof embarrasing.
    Boy: I had sex with a turkey.
    Boy: Hello?
    Girl: You are fucking sick.
    Boy: Send me your picture.
    Girl: why?
    Boy: so I know you aren't one of them.
    Girl: One of what?
    Boy: The cops.
    Girl: I'm not a cop i told you
    Boy: Then send me your picture.
    Girl: hold on
    Boy: Hurry up.
    Boy: Are you there?
    Boy: fuck you, cop!
    Girl: Hey sorry
    Girl: I had to do something for my mom.
    Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
    Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities.
    Boy: Weren't you!?
    Girl: thats not it
    Boy: Then what?
    Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
    Boy: Most cops aren't
    Girl: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKHEAD!
    Boy: Then send me the picture.
    Girl: fine. What's your e-mail?
    Boy: Just send it through here.
    Girl: alright *PIC*
    Girl: Did you get it?
    Boy: Hold on. I'm looking.
    Girl: That was me back in may
    Girl: I've lost weight since then.
    Boy: I hope so
    Girl: what?!?
    Girl: that hurt my feelings.
    Boy: Did it?
    Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
    Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
    Girl: yes
    Boy: Alright let me find it.
    Girl: kks
    Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC*
    Girl: this isn't you.
    Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't!
    Girl: You don't look like that.
    Boy: How the hell do you know?
    Girl: cause your profile has another picture.
    Boy: The profile pic is a fake.
    Boy: I use it to hide from the cops.
    Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy
    Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
    Boy: Not to mention all the groceries.
    Girl: Go fuck yourself
    Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture
    Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.
    Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
    Girl: You've done nothing but slam me.
    Girl: you hurt me.
    Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
    Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me!
    Boy: Why would I do that?
    Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you
    Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
    Girl: FUC YOU!!!
    Boy: You'd break both of his legs.
    Girl: You're a FUCKing asshole.
    Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
    Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
    Boy: Ok. I'm sorry.
    Girl: No you aren't
    Boy: You're right. I'm not.
    Boy: HAARRRRR!
    Girl: I'm done with you
    Boy: Aww. I'm sorry.
    Girl: I'm putting you on ignore
    Boy: Wait a sec
    Boy: We got off on the wrong foot.
    Boy: Wanna start over?
    Girl: No
    Boy: I'll eat your pussy
    Girl: You'll what?
    Boy: You heard me.
    Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy.
    Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
    Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
    Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
    Boy: Well I'm not like most men.
    Boy: I get excited in different ways.
    Girl: Like what?
    Boy: Do you really wanna know?
    Girl: I don't know
    Boy: You have to tell me yes or no.
    Girl: I'm afraid to
    Boy: Why?
    Girl: cause
    Boy: cause why?
    Girl: well lets see
    Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
    Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you?
    Boy: Nope
    Girl: well its strange to me
    Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
    Girl: I didn't say that
    Boy: So is that a yes?
    Girl: I guess so.
    Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
    Boy: Are you willing?
    Girl: What do you need me to do?
    Boy: I need you talk like a pirate.
    Girl: ???
    Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
    Boy: ok?
    Boy: Hello?
    Girl: You can't be serious
    Boy: Oh yes I am!
    Boy: It's my fantasy.
    Girl: this is retarded
    Boy: Do you want it or not?
    Girl: Yes I want it.
    Boy: Then you'll do it for me?
    Girl: sure
    Boy: Ok. Here we go.
    Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
    Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
    Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.
    Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.
    Girl: mmmm yeah
    Boy: uh oh ...going limp.
    Girl: Har
    Boy: You gotta do better than that!
    Boy: Your picture was really bad.
    Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
    Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.
    Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
    Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
    Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
    Girl: mmmmmm you are good
    Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
    Boy: going limp
    Girl: HARRRRRRR
    Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
    Boy: You begin to sway back and forth.
    Boy: going limp
    Girl: this is stupid
    Boy: ...still limp
    Boy: Do it!
    Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
    Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
    Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
    Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.
    Girl: WTF?!?!?
    Boy: They stink really bad.
    Girl: OMG STOP!!!
    Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
    Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
    Boy: I ram it up your ass.
    Girl: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
    Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
    Boy: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
    Boy: I kick you in the face!
    Girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
    Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
    Boy: Your parrot flys away.
    Boy: ...going limp again.
    Boy: Hello?
    Boy: Say it!
    Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. AndrewB

      AndrewB

      If that's real, it's hilariously pathetic! If it's made up, it's genius. Either way, props.

    3. Chopkinsca

      Chopkinsca

      OMG.. that was so worth reading. At first, I was like "I'm not going to read all that" and then I was like "I'm going to read all that" and I did.
      Now I have tears in my eyes.

      lolol

    4. toxicfluff

      toxicfluff

      Well, that's about the funniest thing I've read on this forum. Man, I haven't had a rampage on IRC since I was 13...

×