Naked Snake

Who is the ruler of remix?In my oponion its Ralphis.I liked deathwarriors but Ralhis in my oponion is the ruler of remix.

The elevator stops with a thud and the doors creak open.In front of you is a hallway.You creep slowly forward to look around.A hellacious growl fills the air and suddenly a group of 6 zombies is shabling towards you.You look at your Colt and realize that 8 shots is not gonna take these things down.You run into the hallway and hide.You see an elevator and you quickly jump on it.The elevator rises and you see a Remington pump action shotgun.You snatch it and the box of shells laying next to it.You load 7 shells into it and go down the elevator.3 zombies have found you and they raise their weapons.You dont even aim as you pull the trigger.The buckshot knocks 1 down,blows some holes in the chest of another and litteraly cuts the third one in half.The blood spills on the ground and the zombies fall.The first one however gets back up and aims his rifle at you.You shoot knocking its head right off its shoulders.The head bounces around like a macabre basketball as it splashes blood on the floor and walls.Finally it rests.The other zombies open fire from behind.You are not hit.You turn and shoot killing all three.Blood drips and shells clatter.Then silence.You walk around and notice a wall that does not match the rest.You walk up and push it and it swings back like a door.A secret room?Why would the U.A.C. put in secret rooms?You walk in to find out.The room contains some armor that you quickly don and a backpack full of ammo and 5 grenades.You see a switch and you press it not knowing what it does.Nothing seems to happen.You leave the room with your bounty.A security armor vest and more ammo and some grenades.The next door you see has a red lining.That must mean it needs a red key card.Where could it be?You see another door not far so you hoof over.You open up and a zombies is there waiting.She has a shotgun and she is about to fire (yes SHE).You jump to the side as she fires taking a few in the side.Nothing dangerous.You pull out your Colt and put a slug in her head.

You walk up the steps.An opening leading outside is exposed.You walk outside and look around.Not much but around the corner is a floating blue orb.Curiosity overcomes you and you approach it.It bursts and covers you with a blue light.It vanishes in less than three seconds.Your wounds disapear and you feel 100% better.You feel like a million bucks.You walk around the corner and see something that makes you smile a wide smile.A chaingun and bullets.Damn the U.A.C. had some good shit hiding.You rush over and grab the chaingun and put the bullets in it.You hold it up and fire it.Works like a dream.You remeber these things from basic.You walk back to the steps and walk up.A dead marine lays there.But he is clutching something.The key card!You grab it and look at his dogs.Lance Corpral Mike Raynor.You quickly say a little marine corp prayer for him and stand up.Walking down the stairs you find two empty clips and at the bottom of the stairs you see two dead zombies.Must be the guy killed them.Semper Fidelus (the marine corp motto).You open the door and rush to the red door.You slide the key card in.For security purposes each card is set with a resonic timer.Each exit elevator has resonic harmonice in it to destroy keys so they cannot be used on the lower levels.The door scans the card and chirps in agreement of the card.It opens and you walk in.A brown spiked monster stands behind a barrel.You open fire on the barrel and before the monster can turn it is sent flying into the air by the explosion.You walk forth up the steps ignoring the slime room to the right of you.

At the top is a platform that has no railing.You see a dead marine clutching a medical kit.You feel sad but kinda chuckle.That sucks he didnt make it.You put one of the medical kits in your backpack.You stare down.If he didnt make it along with everyone else what makes me think I can?You derail that train of thought.You step on the elevator and are lowered.You see another spined creature.It howls in discovery and rears its arm back to launch a fireball.It didnt have the time you put a few holes in it with your chaingun.Behind it is a dead marine and a dead spiker monster with a huge gash in its chest exposing what looks to be lungs.The marine is handling a chainsaw.You swipe it and strap it to your back.hmm a yellow chainsaw with a little splash of blood.What art.You pull down the lever and two doors open.You walk through them carefully.You traverse a staircase that is kind of slippery.At the bottom is a strange door.You enter and feel the key card fizzing then dissovle into nothingness.You ignore this and focus on the zombie.It is umarmed.You pull out the chainsaw and pull start it.The zombie rushes you screaming like a mad fool.You thrust the chainsaw forth and impale it on the blade.Its dead hands claw for your face before it dies.You pull the body off and go down the elevator and slap the switch.Where to next?You are already knee deep in the dead.Hell is not far you think.

I was talking to Cacodemon Leader on AIM and he told me where to get the DOOM press releases.Then after playing I told him it would be cool to make a BFG wad like the one from the press release and he did.I dont see why you guys flame him.Hes helpful,informative and hes not an asshole like some people on the forums.So in closing look for Cacodemon Leaders BFG2704 wad soon for EDGE.

Why do you guys always make fun of me?Im not that bad.Sometimes I come up with some good stories and other times not.Its not like you guys are perfect either.

It doesnt do that when I use legacy.But I am using the new legacy beta.So maybe they fixed it.Who knows.

Ah forget it...

I have been recently going to that FTP.It rules.I download one file at a time.If you really want the person banned give ME their IP...*chuckles menacinly*

You cannot say my sig is not good.It contains the wisdom of Lut and DooMBoy.And of course...me...

Ok so maybe they do but is Ralphis still irritating?Yes.

Well no but Ralphis is hated.I mean you may dislike me but who has a sig saying "people call me a trouble shooter,I find BBG and shoot him"?

You should have left the DOOM community when you had the chance...no one likes you.

The Imp was angry.Well he was always angry.Nothing was good for Imps.They had spikes sticking out.One wrong move and *stab* you get a hole in you.And then the problem of no genitalia.That was horrible.The barons get genitals.Thats why they have pants.You think thats fur?Dead wrong my friend.The Imp also had a stupid name.The race of Imps were always mocked.Demons.Now that was a race.Powerful and they had a cool name.Imp.What the hell is an Imp?A little freak that plays with fire.Wow!What a terror inspiring name.He had killed a marine once that had a medal that said "Imp killer" on it.No demon killer medal.Imp killer however.Imps didnt even have an anus.They ate and were angry constantly.They were always constipated.More and more anger and no vengance.The Imp wandered around looking for something to kill.He saw a lost soul flying around.Lost souls were irritating.They flew at you then flew away.Couldnt kill a lost soul unless you were a marine.Or a bigger monster than an Imp.Imps were almost pathetic as zombies.Zombies have even killed Imps.The Imp looked and saw it.The pussyest monster.The rifle zombie man.The Imp launched its fireball and struck it.It only pissed it off.It was not a rifle man like he had thought.It was a marine.With a really big fucking gun.It aimed and pulled the trigger.A hiss and a huge green ball flew at the ugly Imp.The last thought that went thought its tiny brain was "Malcom didnt have it this bad" and then he was reduced to a pile of guts.

To enlighten the rest of the forum with your wisdom.

Read subject,put on your thinking caps and vote damnit.Does anyone know where I can buy the master levels of DOOM II?

Ryan Storms steps off the ramp of the ship and holds forth his Colt .45 and walks down onto the Phobos surface,with its rough surface like that of Earth but uninviting.You walk up to the door and it whines open.You walk into the passage.There is a whirring then air is pumped in.Then you can enter the hanger.You walk in and hear nothing.Absolutly nothing.That is a chilling thought.Nothing.Not even a moan,a groan or a scream.All of 'em dead like that.Whatever you were going up against must kick grand scale ass to beat the Light Drop Infantry (a real Marine Corp troop.The best of the best basically).You walk around looking for something,anything,better than a pistol and brass knuckles.Your drill sargeant once said "IF THERE IS NO SOLUTION IN SIGHT WHAT DO YOU DO?MOVE YOUR GODDAMN SIGHT!".And those words still rung true today.You moved your sight to another room.On a pedistal was some combat armor.You creep up the stairs and see a marine laying there.
"Oh...Ryan?" the marine groans.
"Steven?Oh no" Ryan replys near tears.Steven his childhood friend,the one he told about when he kissed Trisha Livingston in the third grade,the one he told when he found dirty magazines under his dads bed,the one he got drunk with the day they got fake I.D.'s.This wasnt happening.
"Ryan,take my shotgun.It will help ya." he gasped near death.
"Steven no.Let me look for a medkit or some-"
"NO!Jus' take my gun and get the hell outta here" Steven yelled.He handed Ryan the shotgun and he accepted it with a heavy heart.
"See ya on the other side bro" Steven said.He coughed up some blood and a minute later he died.Ryan sat there with Steven's corpse and cried.He was gone.His sadness soon turned to rage as he began to see in red.He was not going to cry for Steven.He was going to massacre for him.Mass genocide on these XT's fuckers.He cocked the shotgun and straped up the armor and procced to the hallway.

Nothing interesting in the hallway but a door.He clicked the small button and it rose.On the other side was Mark.
"Mark!" Ryan yelled to him "What the hell is going on?".He did not get a response.Mark rose his revolver and blasted.It missed by a mile.Strange Ryan thinks.Mark was the best shooter in the Light Drop.He wouldnt have missed so close.Mark growled an inhuman growl as he aimed his pistol again.Ryan aimed and shot out his arms then his knees.He walked up to Mark.
"Mark come on!" he screamed at him.Mark responed by snapping his jaws in hunger.Ryan pondered this.Why is he trying to eat me?Then Ryan noticed his eyes.Bright red.His minded snapped back and realized it in a second.He was possessed or something by these XTs.Ryan pulled out his Colt and put one right throught Mark's face,blowing his brains out the back of his crainium.He grabbbed Mark's ammo belt and took some shells and some clips.The clips were worthless right now because they were 9mm clips.Shit.He kept them anyway.He crept down the hallway and saw another marine.This one he did not know.He was holding an M-16a4 (I dont think they exist.This is the future though) Carbine and aimed.Bullets tore through the masonry and and chipped the walls.Ryan hopped around the corner.

This was pissing him off.When the gun ran out Ryan jumped around the corner with the shotgun and shot.The buckshot tore the zombie man in half and he fell forwards and backwards at the sametime.He spilled his guts on the floor.Something in the other room was not to happy about the gun fight.Ryan peeked and saw an XT with spikes protruding from its body.His visor scaler showed it standing at 6 feet 9 inches in height.The scan estimated the weight at 162 pounds and 11 ounces.He hated how the scans went to the ounce.Why?He aimed the shotgun and shot.Too far.The monster was too far.Then Ryan remebered the M-16a4.He found ammo on the corpses belt and he loaded the gun.He aimmed and fired.The bullets found their mark into the creatures stomach.It tore its body up and spilled blood on the platform.Ryan sighed.He then check the gun.Two clips for the M-16 and each clip held 500 rounds (the future goddamnit!).That was the plus.The minus was that the gun could rip through a 500 round clip in about 6 seconds.He also found out that there was two grenades in the gun.The zig-zag room held nothing.The door at the end was damaged.He stood back and launched a grenade at it.It exploded on contact and sent the door flying inward.He heard another XT in there growling.He walked in and saw the XT trapped under the door and a dead marine clutching a Ka-Bar combat knife.He took the knife and stabbed the monsters head splashing his visor and armor with blood and brains.He wished he could spit upon the body but opening the visor would rip his skin off.He walked into the next room and flipped the switch of the elevator.What was waiting for him lower?Salvation...or his DOOM...

I found that DOOM 64 weapons conversion at the Immoral Conduct page.Go to projects then there is a zip you can DL of the DOOM 64 weapons and sounds!YES!!!!!

You all know you love Lut and me.But you like Lut better because hes been here longer but hey ya know ya love me too.

The ship groaned under hydo-warp.Looking out the porthole you saw the stars so fast they were a blob.Science sucks you think.If science hadnt figured out how to make hyper-warp then hydro-warp you wouldnt be here.You would still be on Earth.Fucking scientists.You sit in the rec room on the ship watching some old action movie from the 20th century.The special effects are lame compared to nowadays standards.The acarde might appeal to the younger grunts but a grizzled marine like you doesnt care for 3d pong and pinball.Damn Sargeant Wild.The bastard just had to open fire on the civies.If you could do it all over again you wouldnt have punched him.You would have broke his goddamn arm.You butt out a cigar and turn off the screen.You sit there with nothing to do.You walk out and see marines snatching shotguns,assault rifles and other weapons.A marine tosses a Colt .45 to you and you look confused.

"Sir we have recived a distress signal from Phobos,Code 7."
"Really?" you reply bewildered.
"Yes the briefing starts in 25 minutes" the marine says coldly.

The briefing was accualy interesting.Apparently the gates were activated and monsters poured through and slaughted everyone.You sit on the edge of your seat along with the rest of the squad.

The touch down was not something anyone wanted.But marine first pussy on leave.The commander stops you and says "Marine your staying here.We need a last resort".You nod gravly.

The radio was full of talking when it happened,the first XT sighting.
MARINE A:"Sir XT about 20 meters in front of me.Back turned.Its got many spikes and claws.Friend or foe?"
COMMANDER:"Well son if they killed everyone here you think they are friendly?What are you fucking stupid?".
MARINE A:"Ok.".
Gunfire fills the radio followed by an inhuman growl.A sound goes through the radio followed the marines death scream.
Things just got heavy...and all you have is a goddamn Colt .45 pistol...

Me and I would be hella powerful and have an IMI Desert Eagle Mark XIX .50 Caliber Action Express (which in real life is the most powerful handgun in the world) and it could kill you in 2 hits but I would take time to aim so you could dodge.Either that or an evil version of Hissy named Pissy cause of its constant mood.Its like Hissy's evil twin.Heh.Im really weird huh...oh go better go smoke a ciggarette.

Asshole Bill you seem to know this dealer well...is he your boyfriend?Heh.AND 10 GODDAMNIT!!10 IS ALL WE (we I mean me) ASK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep...I think we need at least on of the following feutures in this poll forum

What is the first level you get the shotgun on in Ultimate DOOM on IM TO YOUNG?

All while Prower wrote this he was sitting there naked stoking his penis with baby oil looking at nude pictures of Sally Jessie Raphel!Heh.He stroked and stroked until he reached his peak and cummed all over his hand.He used a towel and cleaned up then pressed Submit.

Imp:It must be Mancubi!
*Other monsters shout and growl in agreement*

Demon:Just like LuT said "when you see a school bus followed by another one do you say school buses or school bi?Right now shut up".
*Monsters mumble in converstation then yell in agreement.

Imp:But Mancubus is a latin word.And latin words in plural form usually end with I!(source:Maga from an IM)
*More ageement shouts*

Demon:But once again I dont think a group of Mancubuses are going to or should be called Mancubi!
*Much more agreement shouting takes place*

Imp:But once again to my latin point!
*Mumbles and shouts*

Demon:Yes but once again back LuT's bus point!
*Many more shouts of agreement"

Icon Of Sin:Fuck you both!More than one Mancubus is now refered to by FNORD!Now there!
*Mumbles in dissapointment.Imp looks at Demon and gives him the finger.*

Demon:Bastards...

The sudden rush from the gate from Phobos made you a little dizzy.At least you were not insane.Not yet anyway.You,Corporal Ryan Storms,stuck on a martian moon with bloodthirsty hellspawn waiting to rip out your internal organs.You lost all of your weapons from the immense battle,well all except your Colt .45 standard issue.You look down the hallway and see it.A fresh riot shotgun!You creep forth slowly and step out into the open.Suddenly from the darkness comes a hellish grunt followed by a pistol shot.Its a zombie.Its red eyes looking at you with intent to kill,its cold dead hands still clutching a matching Colt .45 pistol.You roll and stop right near the shotgun.A Mossberg,good shotgun,you think as you scoop it up and blast.Blood sprays and the shell falls along with the body.You walk over and snatch the other Colt.You holster it and walk forth.A large cross looms to the ceiling.You feel a sudden heat and rember your briefing.When someone goes throught the gate its S.O.P (standard operating procedure) to step through the heat intensifier to kill germs.You hop around the corner pointing your shotgun.Nothing but a medical kit,some clips and a blue key.You creep forth carefully not knowing if this is a trap.You grab the clips and put them in your belt along with the card key.You hop throught the window and land with a thud.A horrendous howl followed by grunts fills the air.A contingent of 7 zombies and one of the spiked creatures walk forth.Two zombies carry M-16a1's and three have Infantry Rifle's and 2 have Sawed off shotguns wood trim style.You open fire with your shotgun,killing one zombie and injuring the spiked monster.The spiked thing launches its deadly fireball at you and It almost hits you.You blast again and blow its head off sending mushy gray brain goo and blood flying,finding their place on the wall.The other zombies open fire forcing you to duck behind the corner.When they stop you rush out with your dual Colt's like Commando Kelly (famous war hero) and blast the remaining zombies.
You collect their ammo and take a sawed off shotgun,M-16a1 and the Infanatry Rifle with you.You take one step onto the bridge and it begins to decend.You jump forward and land on the other side.You see a switch.You pull out your M-16a1 and prepare for anything.You push the switch and a platform with two switches apears.Above each switch is a label."Switch A:Armory" and "Switch B:Storage Cubby".You press switch A first.You need more weapons.You hear a hydraulic whine behind you.Looking into the window of the key card room you see a teleporter there.Running to the teleporter in the next room you are whooshed to the first room you were in.Running once again through the cross you see the teleporter.You walk up to it and pull a grenade out of the M-16a1.You pull the pin and toss it into the teleporter.After 10 seconds you walk through.Another head rush and you scan the room.Its too dark so you reach up and flip on the night vision mode on you visor.A wounded pink demon is behind a pillar.You switch to thermal mode (I know thats not in ICD but if you dont like it fuck you.J/K.)and see the room based on heat.The demon has a leg wound from the shrapnel.Deep.It wont move.You walk behind around a pillar and the demon begins growling at you viciously.You point your Colt at it without even looking and shoot off 6 rounds until it stops.You look around and find nothing but a few empty boxes of shells and bullets.You find a few scattered rifle bullets.You put them in your Infanatry Rifle.You also find another rifle but its damaged.You take off the bayonet and slide it on yours.There is no ammo in it.
You leave the armory dissapointed.Looks like the boys were not caught off guard.You hop again through the window and approach switch two.You flip it up and a whir sounds next to you.You see two walls grinding up.You causually walk over and look inside.There is a shotgun upgrade kit (once again its my story things are not as they should be) and a red key card.You read the directions of the upgrade kit and then proceed to follow them.You new shotgun feels a little lighter and you test fire it.Less kick,more power and no cocking it.You put the keycard in you pocket and aproach the next teleporter.WHOOSH to the other side and another head rush.Fucking things you think.You see a high raised platform.How am I going to get up there you wonder.
You find the answer in a small cubby.You press the switch and the platform rolls down.You trie pressing the other switch but it does not respond.It was broken.The platform hid two zombies with Mossbergs and another spiker.You blow them away swiftly with your mod shotgun.You see the red door but its in the middle of lava.You figure the broken switch must have been the controls for the bridge.Oh well you think as you creep to the blue door.On the other side is another god damn teleport pad.You toss the remaning grenade through and wait.Finally you jump through and see a dead pink monster.Suddenly a scream fills the air and a demon skull apears,flying towards you like a kamakazie on a death mission.You raise your shotgun and blast it until it bursts.Flames and skull fragments scatter.You walk forth and see a switch.Pressing it some steps raise in another cubby.You walk up and see and press another switch.A grinding noise starts behind you.You hurry down the stairs and see the colum lower to reveal another teleporter.When you get back you Earth you are gonna kick the shit out of who ever discovered teleportation.You jump through,no head rush this time.The wall in front of you lowers and you see the exit door.You open it and a spikey is on the other side.It caught you off guard and scratched you,cutting you arm lightly.You blast it with your shotgun and knock its intestines out its back and it collapses to the ground with a thud.You step over the corpse and press the switch.Where will this room cart take you?Hopefully to salvation.