Single Status Update
The first ever, for me anyway. The players:
Me, your favorite.
Cowboy, the tall redhead and our pie-in-the-sky sales representative.
John, the brother-in-law who thinks he's shrewd.
Bill, the big brother and official spewer of Family Guy and Fensler Film quotes.
Dad, the cigar-smoking, beer-swilling old bastard on the Atkins Diet.
Whoever deals calls the game. 5-card Draw, 7-card Stud, Hold 'Em, wild cards, et cetera. I didn't get a good hand the entire night. Hell, I think the best I got was a straight. So for every round I'm out of chips early and end up being the dealer.
For one hand, I'm dealing. Everybody bets and discards. I figured I'd fuck with my brother when he discards one. I hold up the ace and say, "Dude, I said these were wild." Got a chuckle out of him(I said no such thing). Everybody gets their second hand, and Cowboy goes all in because he's short on chips. Bill, the only other guy in, sees him. Two pair. Cowboy puts his cards down and says, "Three of a kind beats a straight, right?"
His hand: two fives and an ace.
Bill and I laughed for fifteen minutes straight. I seriously couldn't handle myself. I was gasping and I felt like my lungs were going to collapse. I almost passed out. Cowboy lost all his chips because he's a Gump. HI-LARIOUS! He couldn't live that down all night. Every other hand, "OK, the game is 5-Card, Jacks or better opens, and aces may or may not be wild. We'll just see what pops up." He's probably sulking right now.
So yeah. I'm drunk as hell. Room-temperature Guinness is helping my brain feel like it's in a comfy blue sweater with thumbholes. And the socialization was good for me, haven't had anything like that for a while. I mean, you guys are great and all, but the testosterone levels in here are unpredictable. Maybe a little Firearms will keep my mood up for the rest of the night.
[EDITED DUE TO ALCOHOL-INDUCED ILLITERACY]
The last time I played poker with friends, I won. :D Of course I had my Witty Phantom in attack mode with a revival jam to ensure they don't take away any of my life chips and scapegoat face down as a last line of defense. Boy when I whipped those cards out (in the classic Yugi style) the looks on their faces were priceless. :D