Single Status Update
Hey fellas! Long-term relationship got you down? Think she's gonna break up with you? Looking forward to getting rid of the bitch but not looking forward to dating again? Well, it's time to get yourself a GUILTY GIRLFRIEND(TM)!
With a GUILTY GIRLFRIEND(TM) you can experience all the pleasures of a healthy relationship without actually having to work for one! Here's how it works:
1) Contact one of our GG associates and you will be assigned an OTHER GUY.
2) Our OTHER GUY specialists work round the clock to build a strong friendship with your current girlfriend. With sexual suggestions, of course.
3) With time and patience, she'll think our OTHER GUY could be better than you. But since she's as afraid of change as you are, voila! You've got yourself a GUILTY GIRLFRIEND(TM)!
GUILTY GIRLFRIENDS(TM) will treat you like gold while you continue to be the uncaring slob that you are! She makes you dinner, you complain that the peas are cold. She wears something sexy for you, you don't even notice she's walked in the room. Just like your parents! They always looked so comfortable together. A GUILTY GIRLFRIEND(TM) will fetch your slippers, give you the newspaper and wait patiently and quietly for any scraps of attention you throw her way! Ha ha, look, she's just like a dog.
If you act now, you can take advantage of our Special Offer! You'll get the GUILTY GIRLFRIEND(TM) without any physical contact ever having taken place! That's right, girls don't even have to cheat on you to be wracked with shame over their own emotions! For a GUILTY GIRLFRIEND(TM), having a heart-to-heart talk is as good as a gangbang!
So get yourself a GUILTY GIRLFRIEND(TM) and start living the easy life TODAY!
*IN EXTREMELY RARE (<0.01%) CASES, YOUR GIRL WILL ACTUALLY GET A CLUE AND LEAVE YOUR ASS. WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR SUBSEQUENT DAMAGES.
*VOID IN EUROPE, BRAZIL AND OTHER COUNTRIES THAT DON'T HAVE A MEDIEVAL STIGMA ATTACHED TO RELATIONSHIPS.