Xenaero

Alright, for like the 5th time today I found myself playing doom, not unusual for me, but what was unsual was the islamic retard who kept calling my cell phoen number asking to sell me AOL CD cases. (of all things...) It was a collosal mistake to pick it up the first time it rung, as after the 3rd time I told him i'm not interested it kept ringing. This is why BLOCK FEATURES WOULD BE HELPFUL ON CELL PHONES. But no! I kept getting called. So after I got beaten in a Skulltag duel, and the phone ringing for the what I swear had to be the 13th time, I finally cracked. I picked up my shiny red outdated Nokia cell phone, looked at the 10 calls missed message, and attempted to go all-out Hulk on it, by trying to smash it in my fist. But being the weakling that I am, and probably due to the devilry of hard plastic, I couldn't.

That failing, I searched for a object to beat the god damn object, which was still ringing, to a miserable pulp of battery juice. Finding nothing suffecient, and too lazy to actually go get the butcher knife from the kitchen, I saw the window. Not the window of opportuinity, or of heaven, but the widnow in my room. Thinking it was closed, so I could smash the phone against it, and probably break the glass satisfactory at the same time, unfotunatly, that did not happen. Because just as I launched it toward the window I noticed I didn't see the normal reflection I see on a window, so the phone went, still ringing, out the window with the force of a hurricane, and slammed so hard in the the dirt that a small dust cloud formed. However, that wasn't the end of the tyranny of the Cell Phone. I decided to go get it later on in the day and play some more doom in the meantime, but before I could happily get back to Deathmatching, I heard another sound. No, it wasn't the ringing I normally hear, but the sound of 20 babies screeching at once. Or more normally heard as a cell phone ring covered with dirt. I got up, went out the back door, went over to the ringing, somewhat obscured by the layer of dirt on top of it, and picked up the cell phone. However, it wouldn't stop ringing, and the message now said 12 calls missed. Seething is hatred, I hurled the thing as far up in the air as I could muster, and having it land on the roof with such force was quit satisfying, but however, as it lay there on the roof, I was quite positive I had finally destroyed it. BUT NO! IT RANG AGAIN! And as it rang, it slowly slid down the slope of the room! Then it tumbled, and landed on the mat in front of the back door! Finally giving up on trying to destroy the invincible hellish cell phone, I picked it up, and hit the power button, which was now caked with dirt. Going into my room, I tossed it on my bed, and there it is laying, ringing still and there's no doubt with each ring, it is sending particles of dirt all over my bed, because the power button obviously didn't work...

Moral of the story: Cell Phones suck