Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Captain Red

Members
  • Content count

    5704
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Status Updates posted by Captain Red

  1. "In my experience, we could really use more volunteer..."

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. bytor

      bytor

      Kevorkians.

      /sarc

    3. Cupboard
    4. 40oz

      40oz

      scifista42 said:

      original sprite makers.


      What are you looking for? I can do decorations and stuff. If you want new monsters or weapons though, forget it.

  2. I wasn't trying to or anything, it just sort of happened.

    So far the only thing I've noticed is that I'm not as good at being hung over anymore.

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. baronofheck82

      baronofheck82

      Yeah...Happy belated birthday....you old bastard :P

    3. Armaetus

      Armaetus

      Welcome to the 30s.

    4. geo

      geo

      Happy birthday you old Cougar.

  3. http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/extra-punctuation/9105-Extra-Punctuation-Golden-Era-of-PC-Gaming

    Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw said:
    I was in idle conversation with someone recently when he caught me off guard by blaming Half-Life for the current state of overly cutscene-heavy gameplay. And it seemed like he couldn't get any wronger, because like most Valve games Half-Life very deliberately has no cutscenes and almost never takes control from the player. But then he pointed out that there are several moments in Half-Life - and more so in Half-Life 2 - when you're trapped in a single location and aren't allowed to leave until the non-player characters have finished talking at you or among themselves. Which is fair enough, I suppose, but these pseudo-cutscenes never bothered me too much.


    That was meeeeeeee! I was the one having the idle conversation! ^_^
    Choo Choo! Is that the internet fame train pulling into my station?

    It's also a pretty interesting collection of words. It's kind of hard to explain why the late 90's and early 00's where such good times to own a PC and like FPSs, and any effort to make people look them up is doing good works. Even if it's just for the asshole physics.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Captain Red

      Captain Red

      I think your point was never that "Half Life made games terrible." as much as it was "Half Life is terrible".

      It actually did do a fantastic job at the whole "show don't tell" side of game world building, too bad all the publishers saw where "All games need to be scripted all the time now!"

    3. AndrewB

      AndrewB

      Captain Red said:

      I think your point was never that "Half Life made games terrible." as much as it was "Half Life is terrible".

      Nope, I can guarantee you it was the former.

      It actually did do a fantastic job at the whole "show don't tell" side of game world building, too bad all the publishers saw where "All games need to be scripted all the time now!"

      Pretty much what my point was.


      I believe the topic was the must influential games of all time.

    4. 40oz

      40oz

      Captain Red said:

      [It's kind of hard to explain why the late 90's and early 00's where such good times to own a PC and like FPSs, and any effort to make people look them up is doing good works. Even if it's just for the asshole physics.


      I'm not too sure, but I managed to find this video recently that brings up some interesting (if not brazen) points:

  4. Anyone played that Goldeneye remake yet? If so, how much is it like Call of Duty?

    It's probably just my fondness for the N64 game talking but the remake looks kind of interesting to me, and I haven't brought a game for my wii in months. The thing that gives my pause is that people have compared it to the Call of Duty series. I hate Call of Duty's campaign for reasons I'll get to later in this rant, and I'm not interested in paying almost $100 for Modern Warfare with James Bond and blurry graphics, but I am interested in playing a touched up goldeneye with better graphics, better controls and a few modern features.

    I've heard some good things, apparently it uses the nunchuck pretty well, manages stealth in a similar way to the original game and you can switch off recharging health in favor of the classic "find a bullet proof vest or fuck you" health management, but it also looks to have some of the dumber modern FPS features...
    Now, I can deal with Quick time events (why publishers have such a hard on of for these things we may never know), I can deal with a cover system (the original game sort of had one as well) and I can deal with parts of the games being so scripted they may as well be one of those rail shooter FMV titles from the mid 90's. but I never really cared for the way the Call of Duty games handle the running around and shooting parts of the game for the following reasons:

    First of all, I work alone. I don't need back up, I'm James fucking Bond! Why on earth would I want to share the glory with some other prick? I want to take my time to line up perfect nut shot on that particular guard without my AI 'buddies' shitting on my fun by killing him for me with some boring head shot. Fuck you asshole! Quit playing the game for me!

    Secondly, I don't want to constantly be sticking to a narrow path and being directed the whole time, Let me explore a bit will ya? I want to poke around the villains lair on my own. Sticking to a tightly controlled path so the level designers can show me "bitchin' scripted sequence(tm) #21" makes me feel less like super secrete agent man and more like I'm on action themed carnival ride. *Yawn*. I'm not asking for Deus Ex or anything here, Scripted sequences are fine, but this is an interactive medium here, let me fucking interact. let me see that beautiful structure the level designers probably spent days perfecting from more then just the one angle. Let do a bit of backtracking if I want to, let me take my time and shoot every console, break every window and smash every crate in the level, you know, like I could in the ORIGINAL game!

    and finally, constant respawing enemies; no, No, NO! I fucking HATED modern warfare for this bullshit! What is the point of shooting a guard if he's just going to be replaced by another one immediately afterwords over an over till I step across some arbitrary trigger? Give my maps with a set number of bad guys to kill and let me go about killing them at a pace I see fit. I know the orignal goldeneye had respawing enemies, but it was only if you fucked up, it wasn't %90 of the damn game.

    I'd imagine that all these elements I've bitched about will be in the game at some point (it IS made by activation after all), but what I want to know is will most of the game be like that? Surly one of you has the game by now. So I ask, If some hated Call of duty, will they hate the goldeneye remake? Would you recommend this game?

    PS I don't care about multiplayer. Not in the original or the remanke.

    1. Show previous comments  48 more
    2. Philnemba

      Philnemba

      *Please delete*

    3. Csonicgo

      Csonicgo

      DuckReconMajor said:

      What? This doesn't make sense. That's why people are nostalgic about it. People don't remember their first microwave because it reminded them of the oven days. They like it because it was new it was really new.


      I love this quote.

    4. Dragonsbrethren

      Dragonsbrethren

      Captain Red said:

      What it is not is anything like Goldeneye 64. Xeros612 said that it doesn't need a remake, but I actually disagree: Goldeneye 64 has ages horribly, the controls SUCK, the frame rate is choppy if things get hectic, the ai could use a tweak here and there and higher res graphics wouldn't hurt either.

      Yeah, I guess it would've been pretty nice if the 360 remake was able to come out for those reasons, though I was pretty underwhelmed with that when it was shown. It's like two extremes here, either a direct port which somehow makes the game's outdated elements that much more noticeable than playing the original, or a remake that has almost nothing in common with the original.

      I haven't tried it yet, but I've heard enough good things about the game that I'm probably going to pick it up. Still, it'll never come anywhere close to the original. In the end, it is just a cash in, even with the effort they put into it. I love the fact that they brought the original GoldenEye screenplay writer on to write the game's storyline, for example.

      For the people saying Perfect Dark was better, check this out:

      http://www.goldeneyevault.com/viewfile.php?id=202

      Still in early development, and it's currently multiplayer only, but it's essentially GoldenEye running on Perfect Dark's engine.

  5. Yay b-day thread!

    ect.

    Anywho, the twist in this thread is that *YOU get to decide how I spend it!

    The choices are:

    a) Drunken' Guitar hero. Always a blast, cost almost nothing but I may end up doing it alone on account of some of my so-called 'friends' thinking Guitar hero is lame :(

    b) Mexican themed restaurant I've wanted to take a look at, but haven't really had a reason to. looks decent. Can by Budweisers (I'm Australian) but will probably cost a bit. but a little lass sad then option A

    I'm 24 BTW.




    *if I decide to read this later.

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. lupinx-Kassman

      lupinx-Kassman

      Csonicgo said:

      hey wait a minute, that pic ain't right at all. it's upside down AND flipped!


      *nods at your title*

    3. Captain Red

      Captain Red

      Csonicgo said:
      hey wait a minute, that pic ain't right at all. it's upside down AND flipped!

      By gorge, you're right!
      well, I can fix that in a sec OH SHI-

      Edit: Gah! that other one was making me ill.

    4. Infinite Ammunition

      Infinite Ammunition

      the angel of death is even scarier that way, good lord


  6. Shitty quality due to the camera's batters running out before I worked out how to use the damn focus. I'll get a better shot when I get a god damn working camera

    you'll just have to take my work for it that it level 97 with 961 lines.

    w00t!

    1. lupinx-Kassman

      lupinx-Kassman

      You failed me, yourself, and your family. Do you have a pet? You failed it too.

      But thats okay cuz you can join the club. :\

    2. Captain Red

      Captain Red

      can't a man start a tetris pissing contest without people telling him he's failed?

      :(

    3. GGG

      GGG

      On a video game forum? No. (People are too competitive)

  7. ...of cancer. He was a red healer that was adopted as a pup from a cattle station just out side Mt Isa in march 1995 (got him for my 12th birthday) named 'Stubbie'.

    ? Febuary 1995 - 14 August 2006

    He'll be missed. I'm going to try to get him cremated.

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Captain Red

      Captain Red

      Snarboo said:
      When you do so, make sure that you only get his ashes alone. There are some places that will give you any old ashes that have been mixed together from other dogs.

      Turns out nobody in this town dose that anymore. I had him buried.

      thanks for the kinds words guys.

    3. Ralphis

      Ralphis

      My condolences dude

    4. Csonicgo

      Csonicgo

      I don't care if it's an animal, if it changes your life, it's very well considered a part of the family. I know how it is man... it sucks. :(

  8. is there a way to discreetly and temporally disable a wireless network? I have to share my Internet with a couple of chatty teen girls, who tag-team the Internet 24 hours a day hogging up all the bandwidth, and if I want to play Battlefield 2 or Call of duty 2 with a ping of under 400, I'm going to have to find a way to keep them both off it for a few hours a day.

    now, while they use a wireless network cards, I use an old fashion cable, and I'm thinking, there's *got* to be a MacGyver-esc way to use that to my advantage.

    Here are the guidelines:

    *I am not a 1337 |-|4c|<3r. and my IT skillz are only a few steps above "total n00b"

    *Accesses to the computer they are using is limited. I might be able to get at it for a few seconds, but actually 'using it' will be tricky. as it is a slow ass P.O.S. (due to miss use rather then hardware).

    *NO PERMINATE DAMAGE. I need to swatch it on and off like a light bulb. (so I can just say "Oh dear. Telstra must be acting up again, nothing we can do come back to it in a little while" >:D)

    *has to be discreet. for reasons stated above

    ok, put your thinking caps on.

    1. Show previous comments  14 more
    2. Linguica

      Linguica

      Bloodshedder said:

      Most consumer-level routers (and all the ones I've ever used) do not have Quality of Service functionality built in.

      My WRT54G does...

    3. Bloodshedder

      Bloodshedder

      Well hey, I didn't say NONE of them had it...

    4. SYS

      SYS

      Linguica said:

      My WRT54G does...

      We got the same router. Cool.

  9. ...first time out of the contry. And the only Vietnamies I know I lernt from Battlefild Vietnam. I somehow doubt the phrase "Enemy spotted!" is going to come in handy.

    So if you don't here from my after a week, it would be safe to assume I died from a horrible venereal disease or chose a bad time to quote "The deer hunter".

    cheers.

    1. Show previous comments  13 more
    2. Captain Red

      Captain Red

      Back. Lame photos later.

    3. Job

      Job

      What a senseless war country. Did you get an arm amputated from crossfire due to civil unrest? And if you did, can I have it?

    4. Janderson

      Janderson

      Did you happen to see Garry Glitter?

  10. WWII FPS. What the hell? remember when for like 8 years the only WWII FPS was Wolfenstein? then medal of honour had a PC release, and they where all over the freaking place.

    I like killing Nazis. I really do. I liked Wolfenstein. it was fun. I LOVED Medal of honour on PSX, sure, the levels where basically a big line, it couldn't handle more then three badguys at a time, it was almost always night time, or inside a dark warehouse, or some place where you couldn't ten or so meters in front of you, an d AI was... strange... (they weren't sure how to handle grenades... sometimes, the kicked it back at you, sometime they laid down on top of it to sheald there comrades... even if there weren't any around, sometimes they ran away from it into a wall. they always stopped shooting at you until it exploded.) Return to Castle Wolfenstein was a blast (I loved the Indiana Jones inspired plot), and Medal of honour: Frontline was awesome!

    After that it started to go down hill. allied assault was OK, but Frontline was way more fun. probably because Frontline didn't overdo it with scripted sequences. and the superhuman inviable snipers, and the annoying D-Day landing mission.

    Critics hated Rising Sun. I didn't. but again, it wasn't as fun as previous MOH titles.

    then this Call of Duty bullocks started. first off, it has that retarded growing cross hair. you know, if you want to be more accurate, you have to sit still for for a few seconds? that bugs the crap out of me. Is that supposed to be realistic? it's bullshit. I don't want to sit still to hit what I'm aiming at, I want to run across the room and hit five Nazis in the head in five shots.

    Secondly, annoying sudden death. you seem to have the same health as the bad guys do. so there many instances where you're going to have to die a bunch of time just to figure out where the bad guys are. that's not fun or challenging. that's annoying "load and learn" bullocks. you might as well have a mission where you have to find your way through a mine field. and why can you're squad mates survive 8 or 9 grenade blasts?

    ah yes, you're squad mates. well I can't really complain about them, mostly because they did the job for me on the 'annoying sudden death' bits. seriously, I just found a place to hide and waited for baddies to die/reinforcements to arrive /building to get cleared. Meaning that I didn't really play the game.

    To tell you the truth, Call of Duty for me is like counter-strike online.

    *sigh* counter-strike... Why is everyone in the world better at this game then I am?

    I'm not the best gamer in the world. but I'm OK. I can hold my own. I can win the odd skulltag and halo deathmatch online, when I play LAN Unreal Tournament ageist my friends, I do pretty well. sure, I don't own them, but I'm always near the top of the ladder. But when they switch to counter-strike, suddenly, I suck unbelievably. I can't hit shit. If I meet somebody it's pure luck if I can take them down. And sniper rifles? Forget it. Even that n00b cannon (AW/P).

    Is there some kind wired secret to playing counter-strike? why is it, that at medium range I can unload entire clips and hit nothing, while my opponent can get the fabled 'Headshot' in one or two clicks?

    Why can everyone else master that horrible growing crosshairs type gameplay while I'm stuck in pre-1999 FPS mode? I donno. The problem is that with my LAN buddies, I REALLY have to fight to play anything other then counter-strike. Typically, for every hour of any non-counter-strike game, well spend three hours on counter-strike (and mostly on de_dust FFS). It might sound a little self-centered, but I don't like games I'm not good at. Geez, I don't mind not winning, but getting ass kicked over and over is a bit demoralizing :(.

    Battlefield 1942 is awesome
    Battlefield is the kind of game I always wanted ever since I knew multilayer existed. Sure, its got that retarded growing crosshair, but I can forgive it because I can camp like a little bitch near planes with my anti-armor, and blow the shit out of would be pilots on theBattle of Britain map. Tanks are fun to. Especially on the deserty type maps when you can form squads of tanks and rush capture points.

    Still, there are things that bug me about it:
    That fucking growing crosshair bullshit that everybody mastered except me. It's not too bad here, but I'd be happier without it.

    Rifles are useless if you have any lag at all. I know that's the case with almost all games but here epically on account needing to lead your shots. It really annoys me here because of people with great connections hitting me all the time.

    Spawn point camping. LAME.

    Helicopters are a bitch to fly. I'm mostly referring to DC, but it also applies to the ones in secret weapons of WWII. It that another retarded attempt at realism? LAME.

    Being a lone assault trooper and being jumped by a tank. You're fucked. You can hide from planes, you have a fighting chance ageist infantry , but unless your an anti-amour or engineer, you're fried chicken if you meet a tank. And even if you're anti-amour or engineer, you're still fucked.

    I'm not a big WWII buff. Battlefield 1942 is just a good game. The fact that it's set in WWII means shit to me. What I'd like to see is a mod for it that's set in the Command & Conquer Generals universe (or something like it), with ultra arcadey style handling for the tanks, planes, and helicopters. Think mercenaries, but with wacky toxin tractors and lazer tanks. Well I'd think it's be fun.

    Alright. Just had to get that out of my system. Feel free to ignore it.

    Or give me some CS tips. I really need them, like how am I supposed to hit shit with that messed up growing crosshair.

    KTHXBYE

    1. Show previous comments  27 more
    2. Avenging Angel

      Avenging Angel

      Ninja_of_DooM said:

      Are you kidding me? That guy was the easiest boss I've faced in ages. Use the panzerfaust on him to start with then strafe-run around him while firing the venom gun at him. Piece of cake, even on 'I am death incarnate' mode.


      Lol to you and the Capn'......but the sad truth is I hate trying to circle strafe. I shoot, run to a safe spot, and then repeat. Damn, it sucks but it works sometimes, dammnit. ;)

    3. Ninja_of_DooM

      Ninja_of_DooM

      Apart from that, I've noticed that running away too far will make him summon ghosts which darken the screen when they get to you. And worse, they never seem to stop coming once they're started.

    4. Avenging Angel

      Avenging Angel

      Ninja_of_DooM said:

      Apart from that, I've noticed that running away too far will make him summon ghosts which darken the screen when they get to you. And worse, they never seem to stop coming once they're started.

      Didn't he also have that earthquake attack? I remember him beating the crap out of me every time I entered that large canyon area to fight him. Nowhere good to hide, you see. ;)

  11. When I was growing up, everybody I knew had a Sega master system 2 with Alex kid in miracle world built in... Well everyone except me. I had my crummy old CGA computer. yay. I used to be over my mate across the rode house all the time where I played Alex kid all the time, I have such fond memories of that game. I think got as far as that forest. You know, the one with the bear in it? Yeah. For some reason, I remembered it as a really fun game. And by the time I got enough money to afford anything, the master system was long gone.

    I was also obsessed with this top down shooter called “Fireshark”, I’d only ever played on a coin operated machine at the local super market. I remember many a day stealing 20 cent pieces from me mums purse to play that game. I memorized the first level music (mostly because that was as far as I ever got). I soon discovered that this game was also available on Megadrive! Ahh holding that box in my hands and wishing like crazy I had a Megadrive.

    So here I am at the dawn of my adult years, and access to a wad of emulators and roms of games of old. So the first thing I did was download the to above mentioned games...

    Wow. Father time really took a beating to these guys. Maybe it was the face that these where among the first games I ever played, or maybe save state took the edge off them, but I really didn’t find them that interesting this time around. After raptor, Fireshark really wasn’t that impressive. And Alex kid? Man, what was I on? I still finished them both to make piece with my inner child, but I have no idea what made me think they where such brilliant games. I guess they weren’t terrible, but the symbol of my youth and innocence was a bit of a let down

    Anyone else been through something like this? That is, loved a game as a child, not had access to it for years, and when you finally get another crack at it, discover that the child version of yourself was a bit too easily impressed?

    1. Show previous comments  14 more
    2. Bloodshedder

      Bloodshedder

      FCE Ultra is a Windows-based NES emulator. Other decent choices are NESten (as mentioned), RockNESX, and Nestopia.

    3. Grimm

      Grimm

      Daniziah, VDMsound. It will almost certainly run it

    4. Sephiroth

      Sephiroth

      don't forget nesticle, its testicle with an N! my friend had that one for a long ass time, seemed to work rather well for him.

      for dos games i use DOSemu or i boot up my DOS box.

      one game i love from atari, 5200, is breakout. that game i can play for a while.

  12. I'm trying to backup my bookmarks for mozilla but I can't find the bloody things. can sombody help me out?

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. rf`

      rf`

      I make make frequent backups of my bookmarks just in case.

      Bloodshedder said:

      C:\Documents and Settings\WindowsUsername\Application Data\Mozilla\Profiles\default\randomdirname\bookmarks.html

      On my system the random dir name is lbgxxepv.slt. At least, I assume it's random.

      Yes it's random.

    3. Chopkinsca

      Chopkinsca

      Gokuma said:

      I'm having trouble finding its cache to copy files out of it I want to keep like swf and wmv/mpg.


      I'm not sure, but I think it stores the cache in some type of data file. I've tried to find it several times, and had no luck.

    4. Gokuma

      Gokuma

      What's what I thought. Man that's freaking annoying. It probably doesn't fragment up your HD as much though since there's just one file constantly there, instead of a ton of files being put there and deleted whenever you clear the cache. Meanwhile we have the shitheads at microsoft storing every single little bookmark as an individual file, especially fun with FAT32.

    • Playing doom for the first time.
    • Beating doom for the first time.
    • Playing Jdoom for the first time with the PSX sounds and music.
    • Angel (the TV show).
    • Vice city played for the first time.
    • System Shock 2 played for the first time.
    • Victory after a very completive game of Quake 3/Unreal tournament (only on LAN though, not on-line)
    • That wonderful feeling you get when you beat an impossibly hard game/level.
    That said, any of the above activities combined with sex would be splendid.

    Yes. I am indeed a geek.

    1. Show previous comments  46 more
    2. Danarchy

      Danarchy

      Ultraviolet said:

      ROFL, CONTEXT

      No, no. Thats rimJOB.

    3. Mr. NobodX

      Mr. NobodX

      Why did i even know in the first place?...

    4. deathbringer

      deathbringer

      The one girl i have had sex with was shit, so some of those things actually where better. I havent done 'teh gay' yet at all, but as long as its with someone non-shit i'll see.

  13. One day after sniffing some glue, i decided to fiddle with the jumper less clock settings in that blue screen whatsit just to see what would happen and now that my computer won't even start, I need to reset my CMOS, so there are one or two things I need to know:

    is there any advantage to messing with the jumpers over just popping the battery out?

    And I'm problby going to need to reinstall windows aren't I?

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Ultraviolet

      Ultraviolet

      All you need to know about jumper settings is what you've just been told. The jumper will be one little pair of pins next to your CMOS battery. Put a jumper-cap over them and (for some boards) leave it there for a while. Get yourself some food or something. Then come back, remove the jumper-cap, and turn on your machine.

      The jumper you have to set is more than likely that which is closest to your CMOS battery. If you have other jumpers really close to there, then seen reference. I've found motherboard documentation online a few times, after a little effort in identifying the board. Shouldn't be too much trouble.

      Don't fuck with the battery itself. You don't need to.

    3. Captain Red

      Captain Red

      Ah-ha! I did it! Thank you all!

    4. Ultraviolet

      Ultraviolet

      Computers are fun and easy!

  14. Just watched the final episode of Angel about 2 hours ago, and I still haven’t started to wind down from it.. Who have thought a spin-off could be so fucking awesome? No TV show ever before (no likely to every again) gets me this pumped. Screw Alias and 24, THIS is what good TV looks like. I’m not going to spoil anything just in case you haven’t got it yet, but I will say that the last few episodes are the closest thing to perfect TV as you are ever going to get (although it was a little rush, there is no doubt that they could have a hell of a lot of mileage from it, but you cant blame them for being cancelled). I mean Jesus!

    I just wish I could have seen the show from the beginning, instead of seeing if from the start of season 4. *sigh* I I am really running out of good TV shows. atleast I have Spaced and six feet under to look foward to... an I'll problby grab the firefly DVDs one day...

    So yeah. Again, sorry to gush.

  15. Can someone please explain to me why we insist on putting and “I don’t care” option when we make a poll? If you really don’t care, you are free to bugger off and read another thread without voting at all! Are there a set of people out there that read a poll and think too themselves “I don’t care weather Gandhi could win the Indy 500 in a dune buggy or not, but I just LOVE voting!”?

    And another thing, why do we need to hear people’s thoughts on things they don’t care about? Lets say I made a thread about peoples favourite TV shows. There would be at least 10 people who’d just say “I don’t like TV”. That’s wonderful. No really, I was just wondering how many people have no opinion on the topic I’ve just made. Why do you waste your fucking time? if you don’t like TV, bugger off, or start a new thread: what do you think of TV? If you need to express your dislike that much.


    So uh, yeah.
    If you want something to reply to, uhhhh, lets call this ‘ The silly forum habits’ thread.

    1. Show previous comments  15 more
    2. pritch

      pritch

      I didn't touch the poll.

      But I did vote for right amount of impse.

    3. Captain Red

      Captain Red

      What have I done?!

    4. Grazza

      Grazza

      pritch said:

      But I did vote for right amount of impse.

      Heh, that was the one I added.

  16. So there I was, in the video store right, when I saw the Army of Darkness DVD for a mere $20! “Huzzah!” I though, “I will finally be able to here this much hyped Audio commentary by none other then Bruce Campbell himself!” in my haste to hand over my cash, I failed to notice the M rating.

    When I arrived home, I fired up the old PS2 and picked up the Case. I spotted this oddity and thought to myself “Hmm, the video was rated R. Oh well I guess it’s just the OLFC being wired again.” As I sat through the movie I realised that they’d cut the buggery out of it! The windmill scene made no sense at all! Remember the awesome scene when ash stomps to the mini ashes singing ‘London bridge is falling down’? Gone! The other mini ashes just sort of disappear when he gets up. Instead of saying ‘Good. Bad. I’m the guy with the gun’, he says ‘I’m not that good’ What the fuck is that? The movies a chopped up mess. And the extras? Three deleted scenes and the theatrical trailer. And that’s it. No Audio commentary. I should have grabbed the Video when I had the chance.
    >:(

    1. Show previous comments  11 more
    2. Mancubus II

      Mancubus II

      The s-mart ending was cool until I saw the original ending. I purchased the Director's Cut DVD (number 30735 of 40000 made), it doesn't have any behind the scenes but it does have all the original scenes. Yes the extra scenes are grainer but I attribute that to the fact it probably got spliced in without as much care put into it as the theatrical release. It also ends with the apocalyptic ending, which works well with the original introduction, because s-mart is never mentioned. Unfortunately the original beginning is viewable in the menu and is not cut into the movie itself.

      Evil Dead II is still my favorite.

    3. Danarchy

      Danarchy

      Mancubus II said:

      Evil Dead II is still my favorite.

      I agree. Nothing beats that scene where the entire room starts laughing at him.

    4. Arioch

      Arioch

      Captain Red said:

      GET OFF MY THREAD.

      Werd.

  17. Thousands dead!

    Nature is fun.

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. Arioch

      Arioch

      Janderson said:

      but the best bit is where the Japanese Honeybees roast a hornet alive

      Where?

    3. Fredrik

      Fredrik

      Entertaining.

    4. Lutrov71

      Lutrov71

      That was cool.

    1. Show previous comments  17 more
    2. Bucket

      Bucket

      That's because he was looking for Teh Funney in his family.

    3. insertwackynamehere
    4. Grazza

      Grazza

      Numbermind said:

      That's because he was looking for Teh Funney in his family.

      It's a people finder. The strange thing is that if you search for "Teh Funny", it finds 1,752 matches. It also finds plenty of Funney, including some who are still alive.

  18. So, how many brain dead platitudes can you think of? You know the ones that make you want to hurt people.

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. Chopkinsca

      Chopkinsca

      Oh No Its Kyle said:

      If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, who the FUCK is going to clean it up?! Not me!


      I like the Gary Larson's version: "If a tree falls on a mime in the woods and no one is around, does anyone care?"

    3. Oh No Its Kyle
    4. The Ultimate DooMer

      The Ultimate DooMer

      Dunbar said:

      "It takes more muscles to frown than to smile!"

      What they do not take into consideration is how awesomely strong my face gets from "frown-work outs," so when I come to fight them, they can smile all they want, they will NOT be able to hurt my face! I have won the day, my grinning friend!


      Until you meet a gurner...

  19. After a long reagin as king, system shock 2 has been defeated, and steps down to #2. Vice city has won my heart. She will bare my children.

    Why?:

    Everything good about GTA III...
    That is, a nice big city to do as you damn well please in. While Vice City isn't quite as geographically interesting as Liberty City, but it sure is bigger! And better looking! You can preform vigilantly missions! Taxi services! Ambulance missions! Fight fires! Obstacle courses! You can mug people! Mess around with remote controlled cars, find hidden packages, and go about most of the single player missions in almost anyway you see fit! And a hell of a lot of stuff to unlock!

    ...and more!
    On top of that, you can sell "ice creams", Stick up shops, beat up criminals that police are chasing, play with beach balls, buy up businesses, not to mention doing a lot of GTA III thing in an assortment of fun new vehicles,

    Bikes!
    fun, fast nippy little things, of corse the are very easy to crash one, but they are just so much fun! They can also fit places cars cannot.

    Helicopters!
    Go anywhere! Use them to make a quick escape! Or just go cursing. It’s all good.

    Aeroplanes!
    Not quite as useful as Helicopters, but still a lot of fun. For when you want to go somewhere quickly (uhh, but you can’t leave quickly). Side note: I wish they’d included the wingless Dodo, sure it took a bit of skill to fly, but it was fun! (even if I could only fly it in a strait line)

    Looks great
    Despite the PS2’s technical limitations, it still looks great! The sunset over the ocean, the sparkling water, the cars, the bikes, the choppers, the rain, the light house in the distance, the detail! And it actually runs better the GTA III!

    The cheesy 80’s ness!
    There was a lot of things about the 80’s that blew, but none of it made it into the game! (except maybe the 80’s rap...) Tommie’s Hawaiian shirt! The dudes with the purple suit! The over abundance of pink and blue! The Degenatron! How could you not laugh when you nearly run over someone and they cry “Nice driving... NOT!”
    Totally Tubular!

    The Soundtrack
    “It’s not Pop music, it’s new wave!” Easily the best soundtrack in any game ever. Often I’d be going somewhere, when a good song would come on the radio, and I’d just drive around until it was over. Fuck the MP3 station; nothing beats crusading in your sports car while “sunglasses at night” is on the wireless. LONG LIVE WAVE 103! This is the only game I’ve actually sung along to. I wis you could unlock headphones or something so you could listen to the music when you’re running around.

    The Radio stations
    Awesome music aside, The Radio stations rule. 80’s Lazlow rocks (“I dropped out of school because I’m hardcore.”) Fernando has his own station! (“it shakes me up until I cannot remember if I am a man or a woman. But then I remember that I am Fernando Martinez... Mr. Fernando Martinez.”). and VCPR with Maurice Chavez… chatterbox has nothing on these guys. “New wave this pal!”

    Grant theft boats!
    Yeah, GTA III had boats, but Vice city has... more boats! Well, the boats play a bigger part this time, and it’s possible to “hijack” a boat now.

    the gangs!
    You have to love the Hessians and the Cubans! So you’re going to be killing a lot of them, but they’re still awesome! “Fight like men with big Cahoonas!”

    Lots of little things
    You can buy food to get health, you can shoot out tiers, and shoot people in there cars, the police use stingers now, you can deliver pizzas, you can go inside buildings, you can aid the police (when you not running from them) it has more weapons, and better AI. You can bail out of cars (something that you’ll really miss if you go back to GTA III). All the kick ass things Tommy says (You’ve got insurance, don’t be a prick!).

    *sigh* and much as I’m looking forward to San Andres, I doubt I’ll like it as much as Vice city. I’ll miss the 80’s ness. And I don’t remember anything great from the early 90’s being as cool. And it’s looking a bit to Gangsta for my likening. Call me shallow, but the theme of a game dose have an effect on how much I like it. Oh well.

    BUY THIS GAME NOW OR I WILL PERSONALLY CALL THE CEO OF ROCKSTAR GAMES AND HAVE HIM COME OVER TO YOUR HOUSE AND SLAP YOU TO DEATH FOR NOT BUYING IT

    1. Show previous comments  28 more
    2. Captain Red

      Captain Red

      yes, but as a result, i can't do fire fighters missions in portland. the fucking mafia keeps blowing the shit out of me.

    3. Captain Red

      Captain Red

      I just had a thought; I want a GTA game set in the Clockwork orange Theme...

    4. Oh No Its Kyle

      Oh No Its Kyle

      You have no idea how much that would rock.


  20. There. That's pretty close to my true form.

    Go nuts.

    1. Show previous comments  19 more
    2. DooMBoy

      DooMBoy

      Numbermind said:


      Wow, left-handed too.

      Holy wow, it's Tom Green! With a guitar!

    3. Darkhaven4

      Darkhaven4



      A little like this. Seriously.

    4. Chopkinsca

      Chopkinsca



      Except my hair is a bit shorter, and no where near as straight or neat. Oh well, no one is going to care anyway.


  21. Action Doom is evil an immoral. Every day Action doom is destroying our children’s lives with its hidden satanic messages and near pornographic material.

    Just listen to the testimony of some of people exposed to Action Doom:

    After playing Action Doom for three minuets, my fingers fell off!
    Billy, aged 10

    Action Doom ate my kitten!
    Jane, aged 11

    Action Doom has animated sex im bathrooms!
    Micky, Aged 8

    I sawed the and I shot the imp and the imp died and then I mommy yelled at me.
    Jimmy, Aged 35

    Facts about Action Doom:

    • Action Doom causes cancer.
    • Children, after playing Action Doom, are more likely to start smoking.
    • Playing Action Doom engorges Impse.
    • If you play Action Doom, you WILL go to hell.
    • Playing Action Doom is giving the terrorists what they want.
    • Scuba Steve is a fag.
    So remember:

    say "NO!" to Action Doom.

    1. Show previous comments  22 more
    2. DooMBoy

      DooMBoy

      Did someone say Mountain Dew?

    3. Sporku

      Sporku

      DooMBoy said:

      Did someone say Mountain Dew?


      I did.

    4. Chopkinsca

      Chopkinsca

      Superpants said:

      Does someone need saving?


      Yay, the only pair of pants to whom I know they belong.

  22. These’s are games I've had for a while that I still take out and play every now and then, despite the fact that I've finished them several times over.

    Doom
    Who would have guessed it? I still go through doom and Doom 2 from start to finish once every six month. now days I do it with JDoom with the PSX music and sounds, but that’s still an awesome amount of sticking power.

    Quake
    The first quake game is still my favourite. I don't play it as often as I used to, but it still get a run now and then.

    Half-life
    despite it's linearly, it's still a blast! the combat is just so much fun! It doesn’t quite have the same spark as it once did, but when I start a game, I finish it.

    Castlevania series
    I'm always chipping away at one. and for some reason, it's manly been the 8 bit ones of late. heh.

    Medal of Honour series
    Killing Nazis never gets old. (Even the PSX version)

    Return to Castle Wolfenstein
    See above.

    GTA III & Vice city
    It is going to take a LONG time for me to get tired of these.

    Tetris
    That's right. Tetris. When I have time to kill: Tetris. When I feel stressed: Tetris. When I feel lonely: Tetris. When I feel angry: Tetris. When doomworld is down: Tetris. When I'm tired of porn: Tetris. When I feel like going on a killing spree- you get the idea.

    Share your thoughts.

    1. Show previous comments  17 more
    2. Arckra

      Arckra

      And there we go. I use to play that game so much. I don't remember what happened to it. I think my younger cousins spilled juice on it or something.

    3. Fredrik

      Fredrik

      Numbermind said:

      I have no idea. Nobody looks at points, anyway. I think my record is just under 350 lines.

      I look at points, and the rocket you get is determined by points, so I'd have a hard time believing "nobody" looks at points. Anyway, the best rocket you can get is apparently the space shuttle, at 300,000, and I've gotten that so apparently there's nothing left to achieve (except playing until there's an integer ovweflow) :(

    4. Bucket

      Bucket

      I have a hard time believing anyone plays the game to ge the rocket. What does it matter?

  23. To Mormons came to my door today, and after some discussion, I set a challenge: I agreed to read the book of Mormon, and attend at lest five sermons IF, one of them bests me in a game of Quake (1) DM. Mono a mono. So tomorrow, they are sending there best (Some CS champion HA! Fools!) 'round to take this challenge.

    Stay tuned next week for the results!

    NOTES: this isn’t an anti-Mormon (cheers Job!), and I’m not bating them into anything, they where quite nice guy actually (even when I was being a jerk)! It’s just something I’ve always wanted to do.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Captain Red

      Captain Red

      VICTORY!

      Captain Red: 20
      Visitors: 8

      Actually, I felt really guilty afterwards.
      But they where good sports.

    3. Job

      Job

      Pwned teh M0r/\/\0nz.

    4. Laguna

      Laguna

      rofl

      I was baptized Mormon. Problem is, I'm a nicotine and caffeine addict so I don't fit the bill as far as "taking care of the body God gave me."

      Oh well... I'm non-denominational as it is. I still am a practicing Christian, though.

×