Single Status Update
I work at a certain company that works on inventory systems, and is also a defense contractor. Four weeks ago, my manager quits out of protest, as the new boss (who insists we call him "Redge") assigned to us from upon high is as about as high as corporate - naturally, a kite. He's dopey, he's a corporate puppet, and he likes to talk about Bob Dole a lot. Surely this man will just stay the hell out of the way. We had done just fine without a "boss" for eight months. What we didn't know is that the manager gave "Redge" the keys to the kingdom - our server git repository, and everything in it.
I woke up this morning at 4 AM to an SMS saying that our code repository at work had been accessed by a "new member of the compliance team". Thing is, there was no new member on the "compliance team". That wasn't even a department name! So I rushed to the office in a huff, wide awake at this point, praying for no cops with speed guns on the way there. In my mind, someone has either broken into the office, or worse, hacked into the local code repository from one of the ports the IT guys keep forgetting to close. Surely a randomly generated password longer than a bible couldn't have been cracked, right?
I am asleep at my desk from exhaustion when my co-worker, Leigh, comes in at 8 AM sharp. She had just wiped her MacBook Pro clean the night before, due to a botched OS X update. She too got a text message, but assumed it was me, as I had been working later than usual. She finds, to her horror, that two new people, with names 20 characters long, had been "invited" into the team, and we had been "renamed" to compliance. That's when we get an email from the "Redge" saying that he thought we could "use some help". That help came in the form of two dimwits from the Chennai, India branch, recently acquired by merger a year before. They admit to us through Slack that they had never used a version control system before. I felt a tinge of anger, but not quite the level of anger that the boss would soon experience.
The two new members of our "team" decided that the color of the web-based inventory front-end wasn't "good enough", even though we had just finished a redesign, with the colors matching official design guidelines. We find out that not only did they change the colors, they decided to deploy those changes to the main, internet-facing servers, without going through QA. That's when I hear the fires of hell erupt from Leigh's cubicle.
Leigh tells us that our new friends pushed code to master, bypassing QA, while also tinkering with her custom branches, with an editor that decided to convert all the source code files on her branch to Windows format, which screws all the line endings up. Immediately, this causes conflicts with our frameworks, and one of our parsers fails to work now. So in a fit of brilliance, they decided a force push would do the trick. Instantly realizing what they had done, they copied over the files from master, pasted them in the working folder, and force pushed with a fake name, erasing all history on said branch, in a terrible attempt to cover their tracks. Remember how she had wiped her MacBook a night before?
If I hadn't had cloned the entire repository to my ThinkPad for Thanksgiving tinkering, Leigh would've lost four to eight months of work. We receive word that the interim manager, on vacation in Tampa, hopped on a plane after getting the same SMS we did, but he could have flown in with his own two arms given the level of pissed-off he was when he slammed open the office door. "Redge" walks in with coffee to see the door fly nearly off the hinges.
It turns out that the website had been inoperable for eight hours. With worldwide clients, this is a bad, bad thing. After the manager finishes steamrolling the boss with expletives, he tells us that, because of US regulations on the work we are doing, having foreign workers without security clearance can bring up to $10K of fines per infraction. Salespeople barge in behind him, with questions about why the interface has changed without any notification. The QA team follows the salespeople,demanding answers.
Redge turns the color of wax paper, and says, "well I guess I should remove the other 20 guys I just added to the repository, then."
Redge is no longer working with us.
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Followup: Redge formally got told to GTFO at the Q4 Meeting by the British head honcho (who I regularly email to let him know what the hell Redge was doing to us). Plus, we're all getting a raise. I might wind up in another friggin' tax bracket.
I think Leigh and I saved the entire USA branch. That ThinkPad shall be bronzed when it dies.