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TwinBeast

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About TwinBeast

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  1. So, I've been in some long distance relationship for about 2 months. We haven't met yet, just webcam and text. Initially I started the relationship by asking if she wants to meet me and she said yes. I thought we'd meet after a week, the next weekend. But now everytime there's been any talk about meeting, there's always "this and that" why we can't meet. I tried to end it a month ago, but she said she has feelings and had thought more about actually meeting, so I thought to give it another chance.

    Well, I'm getting bored. The initial crush feelings have faded. There are no interesting conversations anymore. All the "physical contact" has been just words, and words lose their meaning pretty quick if there's no action. If I feel like this and she asked to meet, doubt I even wanted to go. I feel like the meeting would last for 10 minutes, with some discussion about "how are you?" and then... awkward silence.

    Also she says she doesn't want sex on the first meeting and I'd been fine with that... just this has continued for 2 months, it's not going to feel like the first meeting for me, if we ever met. Of course if the silence feels awkward, then I don't want sex, even if it was the 1000th meeting, then I just want to leave.

    If I was in a relationship just to be in a relationship, I'd at least want to actually meet and be with her often.

    What should I do?

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Tracer

      Tracer

      I think you ought to talk to her about it. Be straight forward about it. Tell her you're starting to feel detached because you want to date her, not a phone or a computer. You are totally justified in feeling this way. Now would be the perfect time to tell her, because if she says she isn't ready yet, you'll feel more comfortable in breaking it off if that's what you want to do. Which, if you feel like you're being given the runaround, I don't blame you.

    3. RUSH

      RUSH

      Just be honest with her about how you feel. It's not like you have anything to lose. Especially since you've said yourself that the whole thing has become boring. That means it's probably time to move on.

    4. TwinBeast

      TwinBeast

      Yea, most recent conversations have been something like.. I tell something I've done and she replies haha, yea or ok... or she tells me something she's done and then I give that reply.

      My brother also had some long distance relationship for 6 or more months, but they had been together for a year or more before that. He lived with me at that long distance time, and he talked with her so much every day that it was really annoying me.

      Month ago when I tried ending it, she told she was stressed/busy because of christmas, and that's why she had talked very little. Sure I was stressed because of it too. But now there's no christmas stress/busyness. At the beginning of the year things seemed to be going back like in the beginning, but now it's progressed again into not really talking anything.

      Every time there's been some talk about meeting and she's said reasons why now is not a good time... my interest has dropped a little each time, and now saying anything feels forced.

      ...
      Strange things... when I was writing that first post, someone put a link to this song at a chat: Roxette - It Must Have Been Love
      and some part of the lyrics: "It must have been love but it's over now." Then later tonight I noticed most songs in The Cranberries - No Need to Argue album (which I listened too) seemed to be about some breakup.

      The first time I tried ending it, or few days before, I had a dream about dancing with someone, and then couple days when we were on a break... I noticed this: http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/d.htm#Dance
      And notice this part is there twice:"In particular, to dream that you are dancing with your ex represents your full acceptance of her or him for the person he or she was. The break-up was a positive decision.

      To dream that you are dancing with your ex represents your full acceptance of her or him for the person he or she was. The break-up was a positive decision."

      Although in the dream I wasn't dancing with her in the dream, but that thing on that page twice felt like a strange coincidence.

      ...
      Also initially there seemed to be some kind of other (spiritual?) connection between me and her. We were often thinking about the same things at the same time. But now there hasn't been that kind of stuff going on anymore.


      ...
      edit: Decided to try it a little longer... I'll try talking first about being bored or just try to make it more exciting. Talk about meeting some more. If things don't seem to be headed anywhere at the start of next month, then I'll wonder more about ending it.

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