TwinBeast

3 week xmas holiday, whee! What should I do?

Thought I could do at least one level for Doom II. Maybe something medium sized. Maybe something that has both techbase and hell.

Then I have some mega sized assignment from school, which needs to be done before end of january (this is the only assignment during this final course). In it I need to do the whole battle plan for someone's mental health treatment, which seems a bit ridiculous, because that amount of planning in real life is done by multiple people, and all of them probably got a higher degree education than the lowest level nurse degree.

A snowy level, inspired by that one day when it was snowing here and the snow stayed for a day.

Grass, metal and a lava pool. Any similarity to Doom II map07 Dead Simple is purely intentional.

Did some model based on one of my sprites. Don't know if I make it any further than this. Sure would be nice to have multi angle sprites with some animations.
 

Didgeridoom... I hadn't played them for some years, suddenly thought to play some. I tried to say Doom while playing... maybe some more practice on that...

I have a wooden and a plastic one. My brother made the wooden one, and I painted the plastic tube with spray paint.

Dreamed about playing with my snake. In the dream we could crawl around together. Played with her today some too, but I was merely an observer now.

Here's some images of her going around the house: https://imgur.com/a/VLU18y7

Duckhunt?

Found some snails during my nightly trip outside...

Funny thing happened, Windows installed an update, was supposed to shut down after, but instead it fucked up my computer, stuck for a while in attempting to repair something and failing. Later it goes into that advanced startup stuff and I try system restore, but both 2 available restore points did nothing. Safe mode fails to start too, uninstalling updates fails. The only options left are Reset PC or install something else than windows.

At least I backed up some of my data to an usb stick just before the update, had the feeling that something about the update would be off. Though I only did a backup of my game data. There might be some other stuff I want to backup too, also possible that I didn't back some of the newer sound effects.

I have some linux usb stick I could maybe use without installing it, so I could maybe backup everything before Reset PC or installing linux? No idea what update it was installing now or did it try to install windows 11, couple days ago it asked if I wanted to windows 11, but selected no. If it was installing something else, then this same thing might happen again?

I made some brownies or something. They taste like caramel and chocolate.

For the base I put some left over coconut flour, then lots of oatmeal to fill the bowl to the 2 litre line, 100g ground hazel and pecan nuts each, 200g cocoa flour, 1kg of honey, 400g butter, little olive oil, some baking soda, some ground kardamom and clove. It became 2 flatcakes, which I had in the oven for some 15 minutes in 200 celsius, though perhaps a little less (time or heat) would have been enough. There's some burnt taste in the corner/border pieces.

For the top I melted 100g butter and 400g dark chocolate and sprinkled some almond chips for decoration. Total 48 cake pieces. Really yummy sweet. Somewhere between soft and crispy.

I was playing REλL-LIFE² today... it went pretty well. Was a bit chilly and windy. Everywhere some kind of construction work going on.

I've tried to end this one relationship 3 times now, it has continued for some 4 months now and have not actually met her. This has made me very annoyed, and feels like my mental health has taken a few steps back. I was supposed to apply for some schools, clean more, check my snake more often, but I forgot.. even forgot to water the plants regularly. Pretty sure one of the plants is now dead. And my sleep rhythm has gone completely flipped. It hasn't been this bad for a very long time now, and has never been this bad for so long. Previous year things were going pretty good...

After trying to end it, her initial response is insult and how she was just about to talk about meeting, and then shift into telling me how bad she feels and asking me back together. If I reply to any of these messages, pretty soon she's like there was no break up and we're back together, though I just wanted to tell why it's a good thing for her too that it ended. Couple days go after she's pulled me back together and then she tells me how something came up and can't meet anytime soon.

This 3rd time, week ago, after trying to end it, I was talking about it with someone, and said: "if I reply to her messages, pretty soon we're back together..." and that happened. Don't know why I let it continue, did I just want to see if the same thing happens yet again, just to confirm what I already knew? It's possible she really is very shy, and I can understand making excuses for not meeting because of that, but the result is more damage than good. I just can't be in this relationship anymore and I can't trust her not to make more.

I should end it, right?

Kinda annoyed, have motivation to work on game stuff, but still 3 (or 5) school assignments need to do (one of them is really long and kinda boring too), preferably before next monday (not going to happen). Work practice starts then, but really only need to have them done before the final week of the work practice.

Just might not be able to start the work practice on next monday, because need to show my criminal record for the teacher to see if there's anything (serious) in it, or if it's an empty record. Just ordered it yesterday (thought I needed to know the exact place I go to, but didn't, it was more vague), and also heard some people telling they've been waiting for their records for a month. Info on the website said it should only take about a week. Uhhuh.

Maybe need to reorganize my timetable, so that I'd have at least one day in the week for game development. Now just haven't dared to do any, what if I'd lose focus on the school stuff, and it's been going so well now. But don't want to get so annoyed, that I'd quit it to work on games and eventually lose motivation and get even less (than nothing) done.

Made some chocolate oatmeal cookies last night. Turned out pretty good. Kind of soft cake like inside.

I put these in it, in this order, and mixed them in a bowl:

20dl oatmeal

1.5dl sesame seeds

200g cocoa powder

400g melted butter

500g honey

0.5dl olive oil

200g dark baking chocolate chips

Then made 32 balls and squashed them flat. Baked 8-10mins in 200-225 celsius.

Played this with my keyboard a while ago...

Idea was to play about the same thing with both hands, octave lower & higher.

Round one... Fight!

Signed up to some psychology courses. Starts in couple of weeks. I can study it from home as it's completely through internet. I study better at home... although I'd like to meet new people.

Other than that I've not done much progress on anything. Been kind of stuck with the 16 color palette... what do I do with it? I want it to have like "all" colors and also enough shades, but that just doesn't fit into 16...

So, my day was like... I ordered a new laptop and went to pick it up today also. The pickup point is at some industrial zone, thought it was ok, I could get there faster than to the shop where I ordered it from. Bus tickets are loaded with a phone app, my phone is at some 80% when I leave home. After picking up my laptop, I notice my phone is at 1%. Oops. Have no idea if my physical travel card has any money in it, so I walk 3km to the nearest shopping centre. Tired, I go to the info there and ask the info person to call me a taxi.

The taxi driver was pretty nice, and we chatted for a bit. About to exit the taxi I tell her that now I can go do stuff with my new computer. Then she says: "Yea, that's a very enjoyable thing to do for men". Uhh, then I say: "And also for women." Yea, ok, I was dressed very masculine and tired my voice might be deeper than usual. Then she looked like: "Uh, oh, did I say something wrong?"

I eat some porridge, then realise, I have to get out again to pick up this hdmi - dvi adapter. Some 2km more walking. Back home, I drink some protein shake and a beer. Then unpack the laptop, plug in the power cable to charge it. Just about to turn it on, I notice the left shift key is detached. I press it a bit, it seems to attach, then I press it couple times more, slide my finger over it and it pops out detached again. I inspect it and 1 out of 4 little connecting pins is missing from the laptop (the detached key itself seems fine), so there's only 3 of them. It's not going to stay attached.

Yea, I'm returning it tomorrow, hopefully I can get another one with a non broken keyboard immediately.

Still got about 3 weeks summer holiday left. Should I do some game stuff? Most of the holiday so far has gone into being depressed on a sofa, don't want the rest of the summer go like that.

Don't know what I want to do to my game. Maybe I need to think & write some plan. Right now the current state of it feels like it's a completely directionless mess. Going out for a run to do that thinking stuff.

There was a pretty sunset at this hill today.

Third work practice starts tomorrow. This one is at a group home for people with mental problems. Kinda not sure what I'll be doing there, even though I have a pretty good knowledge about mental problems. Have to wake up at 5am. I think this work practice period I want to do morning/day shifts only and no weekend shifts.

I don't even get paid anything, so why would I do shifts regular workers would get paid extra? I'd want some compensation for possible negative impact on my social life. In the previous course I didn't have a social life, so I did evening and weekend shifts, as it didn't matter when I was working there. Now it might matter. Sure, I'll have to go sleep early (like right about now).

This little flail appeared in my teacup today. Didn't find a direct explanation to it, so I combined these explanations: weapon: warning... chain: love, engagement, marriage... hammer: some challenging situation, overcoming obstacles...

Let's see how that goes. Maybe it's about a phone call on next monday from a doctor.

Today some teen on a bicycle asked me if I'm a girl. I wanted to say some word, but no words came out. My reply was somewhere between laughing and hissing.

Also I finally managed to end that long distance relationship I had. It lasted 8 months and didn't ever meet. And now when it was finally possibly possible to meet, I was too bored and exhausted to meet. Felt relieved. Maybe now I can get something done for my game.

Was at an amusement park for 12 hours on a some kind of date yesterday. In one of the devices she wrapped her arm around me to be more comfortable. In another device we kept our hands close, so that our little fingers touched. If there was a gap between, one of us would move the hand closer. When we left the park, I gave her a massage, which she liked a lot. She escorted me to my train, I gave her a hug and missed the train. The next train arrived to a nearby track. We went there and hugged again, then she shoved me into the train.

I wonder if this develops into something romantic. Feels like it might.

Well, I'm kinda annoyed again. I'm at another work practice. This is total 5 weeks practice and then 1 week when I demonstrate my skills. Before the demonstration week, I have to have all school assignments done and accepted by the teachers. The school assignments are about the elderly, but I'm working with people with developmental disabilities.

So I can't use the school assignments during the demonstration week. I have to do yet another set of assignments that I have to think completely on my own. Well, I still have 2 weeks of practice, which isn't really enough time to do 2 sets of assignments. I have about 6½ assignments I need to do. Don't know if 2 weeks is even enough time to do these.

At least all the practical work feels like it's going pretty well, although I'm not yet as fast as the regular workers there. They can take care of 3 people in a shift, I can just about take care of 2 people. Maybe I'll ask next week what I can do to improve my performance there.

4th work practice starts tomorrow at a day activity center for people recovering from mental problems. Hopefully it goes better than any of the previous ones. This one kinda lasts 8 weeks, but there's a 2 week holiday after 5 weeks. I don't feel stressed at all. Feels pretty much what I had in mind when I started studying this nurse stuff. So now I'll finally get to see if this stuff is what I want to do for a while until some more studying.