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Status Updates posted by Dco16

  1. I was standing outside one of the lecture halls on campus where I work, having a cigarette, as I tend to do when taking a break at work, when a thirty-something woman in hipster glasses approaches me. She looks like she’s going to say something, like a normal person would, but instead she decides that it’s better to scratch my hand with her bright red fake plastic fingernails, take my cigarette, and throw it away. I look at her as if she’s insane, which only angers her further. In an authoritative voice tempered with an illusion of moral superiority that can only be achieved with years of practice in front of her cats, she said “I’m fucking sick of seeing college kids fucking smoking!” She walks off, and I tell her to blow me. As she’s walking into the building, she says “lose a couple of pounds!” I can only assume she was looking out for my health the entire time and that I should thank her. That, or she will give me a blow job if I lose weight.

    1. Show previous comments  21 more
    2. DuckReconMajor


      ur mad?

      I would have fapped.

    3. Technician


      DuckReconMajor said:

      ur mad?

      I would have fapped.

      Wheres meh dick? I can't find meh dick!

    4. NightmareZer0


      I would of went off on her. I smoke religiously (Pack of Marlboro Reds a day or more) and I would of ripped into her. Don't fuck with a man's food, sex, or nicotine.

  2. 1. Stumble upon a bit of Doomworld forum drama.

    2. In response to this drama, decide to create a quick jokewad, as it is customary to do so after forum drama. Do not spend more than six hours on this piece, especially if you have a paper due the following week.

    3. Release it to the public under an assumed name (the name of the drama queen who started that drama) in order to continue the running joke, but put your actual e-mail address in the text file in order to leave a clue (other than the ridiculous WAD) that this is, in fact, a joke perpetrated by someone in the community. Don't forget to title by putting a "z" on the end of a recognized phrase to make it TOTALLY BALLIN'.

    4. Expect people to hate you. In fact, expect people to throw accusations that you consume fetuses.

    5. Be pleasantly surprised when people take the wad seriously. Do not destroy the fantasy that someone is actually making fun of the newstuff reviewers for doing their jobs, rather than a person making fun of a forum drama queen for being a mong.

    6. On risk of being losered, tell everyone that they've made a terrible mistake, but don't apologize, because the outcome of the original bad joke wad was funnier (to the author) than the wad itself.

    I wish that this shit had come up around the end of March. A joke is only as good as the timing.

    1. Bloodshedder


      I thought the English in those screenshots was a little too good.

    2. Grazza


      Ah, that explains why it is for EDGE. I thought that seemed a bit incongruous.

  3. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3352575233850651413&hl=en

    I had nothing to do with the making of this trailer. That cum dumpster in the gay green leafy shirt did it.

    1. Technician


      Whats sad is the rubber snakes looks realer then the cgi snakes in the real trailer.

  4. -Noon, December 24, 2005

    I'm sitting at my laptop, typing, in a jungle of a bedroom that looks like a musician's Penthouse suite after their first farewell tour.

    I'm recovering from a NyQuil-induced coma from last night, as my body wasn't aware that it was time to sleep after being awake for 36 hours. I woke up groggy, at 4 AM, after eight hours of sleep.

    Some animated version of A Christmas Carol is blaring from the television, on Cartoon Network. This, I think to myself, at least isn't anime.

    I've returned from town, which is buzzing with activity. I needed to cash my paycheck and pick up supplies for the weekend. I'll be going up to Massachusetts tommorow for Christmas, and the proper things were required for survival in the wilderness that is the family.

    I woke up. When I saw my mother walking down the stairs into the living room, I thought "Jesus, she must have been wasted last night!" She wasn't, she was going through that ever-feared and sugar-coated "time of the month." If there's anything at Christmas that doesn't need to be sugar-coated, it's that insanity. She answered my thought, saying "No, I didn't srink last night." I was afraid to speak, because if I did, I thought that there might be another level to it, and that if she could hear my thoughts, what could she hear if I spoke?

    I learned later that my brother's girlfriend had slept here last night after she went with my brother to game night, a spectacle participated in between four friends. The game is Dungeons and Dragons.

    My mother hates her, to understate the point, and if she knew that the girl was sleeping here last night, staying today, and sleeping here until tommorow, only to travel with us up to Mass., there would be an atomic explosion like none ever seen.

    I decided that I needed the following, just for today.

    -8 cans of Starbuck's Doubleshot espresso & cream.
    -A bottle of Ginger Ale, for my quesy stomach.
    -Package of 1 dozen pop tarts
    -A lighter, so that I can lightly toast the pop tarts without leaving my bedroom
    -Tim Horton's tea, which I was able to get for free because the former night-shift manager was working, and she's the only manager I feel that I'm on speaking terms with.
    -1 muffin, to restore the carbohydrates missing after the NyQuil coma

    The drinks are now chilling in my window, closed between the room and the outside world, which is about ten degrees above freezing. Except for the tea, which leaked rather badly over my Judas Priest shirt.


  5. This is the Bass Guitar of Incredible Power. Today, I decided that instead of having it shoot lightning and play self-recorded notes from the bass, I'd have it shoot a three-part, color stream of plasma. That travels through enemies. And tracks. And plays the bass line from superfreak. Superfreak, which I just heard emulated on a commercial to a dancing Tigger doll.

    I cannot say that I was completely sober while thinking of this.

    The above picture is the result. The beam travels through the enemy, and can turn around and hit it again unless it hits a wall first, but it seems that when past the sprite, it will fly in a different direction.

    1. Show previous comments  13 more
    2. Ralphis



    3. gatewatcher


      HAH, that was pretty funny, but if he had balls, he would have gone to a store with hundreds of people lined up.

    4. Csonicgo


      Ralphis said:



  6. ANDSOLOL Pindick.

    1. Danarchy


      I'll tear your soul apart!!!

  7. Do you collect DVDs? Or movies? What do you have?

    (If this topic has been done before, send it to hell. I used the search and didn't find it.)

    1. Show previous comments  41 more
    2. DooMer 4ever

      DooMer 4ever

      Lüt said:

      Have you seen the extended cut of Alien³? The original was always my least favorite of the series, but now that I've got the 9DVD Quadrilogy and have seen all the extended cuts, it's turning into my favorite. The full version is miles better than the original; think along the lines of the same overall improvement that Two Towers extended made to Two Towers theatrical, but Alien³ extended has an even greater percentage of footage restored.

      Yep, I've watched the extended (or alternative really since there's a lot of changed scenes) cut of Alien³ (I also have the quadrilogy). It's certainly interesting to see, but I don't really know if I liked it better. At least the scene at the start when Ripley is found in the ship is definitely an improvement, but I didn't really like some of the other added stuff. For example one shot that shows the small alien running is quite ugly: the way it runs like a monkey, and the visual effect isn't that good either. I will watch both versions again some day as the movie certainly has its own strengts too.

      I just saw Two Towers for the first time by the way (the theatrical version) and wasn't impressed at all, and I really liked the first movie. Does the extended edition really improve it much? I've heard someone say the theatrical version is the better one.

    3. Lüt


      DooMer 4ever said:

      Yep, I've watched the extended (or alternative really since there's a lot of changed scenes) cut of Alien³ (I also have the quadrilogy). It's certainly interesting to see, but I don't really know if I liked it better. At least the scene at the start when Ripley is found in the ship is definitely an improvement, but I didn't really like some of the other added stuff. For example one shot that shows the small alien running is quite ugly: the way it runs like a monkey, and the visual effect isn't that good either. I will watch both versions again some day as the movie certainly has its own strengts too.

      Yeah technically it's an assembly cut, the compilation of all available footage made before the actual editing begins. It could have used a bit of editing, but I still think it's miles better than the theatrical cut.

      DooMer 4ever said:

      I just saw Two Towers for the first time by the way (the theatrical version) and wasn't impressed at all, and I really liked the first movie. Does the extended edition really improve it much? I've heard someone say the theatrical version is the better one.

      Heh, you know, I was going to start talking about how much better the extended edition is, but I figure by the time I'm done typing you could have watched it yourself. It's still my least favorite of the 3, but I have to say the theatrical cut was possibly one of the most horribly edited and butchered movies I've ever seen. I don't understand how Jackson even let it be released. I would've had a lockout with the studio or something if it was my film.

      In fact now I remember I made two posts sharing your sentiment regarding the theatrical cut in this thread. Extended edition solved nearly all my complaints and actually had me anticipating Return of the King again, so I feel safe recommending it to most people who agreed with my whining :P

    4. Captain Red
  8. I've never been so happy to think that I might be fired from my job.

    The new manager (who's been there longer than the last) has been hiring new people off the street. I'm thinking that maybe they'd hire someone to replace the jackass who almost got me fired for stealing, but they couldn't get anything on the cameras.

    Because they couldn't get anything on the cameras, they're installing new cameras. And audio equipment to monitor conversations.

    I'm sorry, I thought this was Amerika.

    I walked in today for night shift, working with someone I had never met. There were two people in the back room of the store whom I'd never met. One of them was shocked, shocked I tell ya, when I said that the cash drawer was eight dollars over. She counted it four more times, taking half an hour. I'd been working there for five months longer than her and didn't count the cash, so it was obviously my fault.

    On her way out, I tried to exchange as few words as possible, because this girl was a complete and total bitch.

    "You're going to have to assign yourself to drive thru."

    "What about counter?"

    "Well, she doesn't have a code to clock in yet, so she can't get on a drawer."

    So, only one drawer was going throughout the night. Wonderful.

    "Oh yeah," this horrible excuse for a human being said, "We need cookies and sandwich bread. You know how to bake right?"

    "Yeah, sure." I said, knowing that nothing would be baked because baking items after three o' clock is idiotic, as none will be consumed.

    "Oh, and you have to get the drive thru time between 25 seconds and 45 secods because its, like, the worst in the district."

    "Really?" I said, "No shit. You should see a doctor about that."

    Luckily, she didn't hear the last part, in the same way that I didn't listen to about half the things she said.

    I'm paid minimum wage to clean up after the bakers (because they have three hours of work, then five hours of shooting the shit with management, certainly not enough time to clean glaze , frosting, or anything in the kitchen for that matter) and now I'm supposed to BE the baker?

    The person who was hired, who I was working with, used to work nights at the chain that Tim Horton's bought out. This is a whole different place to her. So, naturally, the Assistant manager left a note to the last people she worked with saying NOT TO TRAIN HER FOR THE JOB. So, now there is someone who doesn't know how to make 3/4 the drinks, any sandwiches, or mix the fixins for the frozen drink.

    Tonight, for some odd reason, business was doubled, and every dumb bastard tourist with an awful grasp of english wanted something familiar. Twice the business, one drawer. This caused some problems when trying to make drive thru time "acceptable."

    A woman and two children ordered six bagels, six muffins, four donuts, four donut holes (two in each bag, so the kids don't shit a brick when chocolate glazed is mixed with old fashioned), and a black coffee. I haven't eaten that much shit from the place while working there.

    I had a man ask me for "Ameddican Coffee." Not what size, not how it's made, not hot or iced, just "American."

    Well, if I wanted to make an American coffee, it would be in a flag decorated 64-oz tub with pure white cream and six million sugars. Fat, white, sugary, good morning America, how are ya?

    And I had to train this person, because she gets to work with my thieving friend tommorow who does NOTHING.

    This is how people spontaneously combust.

    1. DesertEagle


      I was pretty glad to be done with my first job.

      I was asked by a family friend (who became my boss) to work with him making fiberglass parts, said he'd need me for 3 weeks, maybe 10.

      Five months later, I was finally no longer needed. What a relief.

      I'm glad I toughed it out; made enough cash to pay for a full course semester at the local community college, and have enough left over to buy whatever supplies I'll need. That, and the self-confidence that comes through putting up with those conditions for so long is a reward in itself.

      We worked in a cramped hangar that was being shared by three groups, I think. Us, the fiberglass company; some guys who worked on cars (some nice cars in the parking lot); and some guys who worked on small planes. So you got a hangar with a load of power tools, chemicals and whatnot for the fiberglass work, two planes, and an El Camino all under the same roof. Many a time, you couldn't move three feet without bumping into something. This hangar had no proper a/c - just two industrial fans we'd turn on when it got too hot in the summer, and all they managed to do was blow around the hot air (mixed with all sorts of unhealthy fumes), fiberglass dust and foam.

      For those of you who don't know, fiberglass itches. I would go in wearing jeans, a tucked-in t-shirt and a sweatshirt over that until it got too hot to do so (I started in February). The less that got on your skin, the better. But then it'd be in your clothes and car seat, and they'd shimmer like itchy, itchy glitter.

      My job was to cut mats of fiberglass into different patterns, and put 'em all together in kits. Those kits would be wrapped around foam, then you'd pump resin through that, let it harden and *BAM* you got yourself a fiberglass part. Light, yet remarkably tough. If you're curious, we were making bridge whalers. Look it up yourself, I never did get my head around a good explanation of what they are.

      Often, though, I'd be asked to assist with laying up the kits, pumping resin and other assorted stuff. I never did get good at those tasks, didn't have the experience or knowledge to be able to do it very well on my own... yeah, I hated it. If you asked for my 'position' at World Class Composites, I'd tell you I was a labor grunt/monkey.

      Now the worst thing about the job was the guys who were hired/fired in my duration of working there. I was 17-18 while I worked there, and always was the youngest. These guys weren't much older than me. Usually late-late-teens or early twenties.

      The first new guy to be hired... I suppose he did his job alright, but he just decided not to show up a couple days, and he was fired.

      The second guy wasn't too bad. He stuck around longer than the first one. The most he annoyed me was how he was constantly bugging me to get smokes, porn, and hang out at strip clubs upon my 18th birthday.
      However, on one particular occasion, the boss was out of town for a couple days. It would be just me, the new guy, and this codger in the shop (he was cool). Every day that the boss wasn't there, the new guy didn't show up. The owners and I tried to contact him a million times; nothing. This had me on edge, as I'd be the one explaining how jack shit got done to the boss when he got back.
      He was fired upon the boss's return, wouldn't ya know it?

      The third guy did alright, actually. Then he brought his friend in.
      They wrote their time cards as arriving at 9 when they showed up at 9:30, and they just didn't show up one day with no reason... they got promptly fired.

      So this bugs me. I considered myself to have been the least-qualified person possible working there, yet I was the most reliable of all of 'em, putting up with that craptacular job. Not a single sick day, and the latest I showed up was, at most, half-an-hour. None of those guys had the deceny to go through that crap with me.
      Lazy schmucks.

    2. darknation


      Why do people get themselves worked up over a shit job? These people you work with have the right idea. They pay you shit wages, you do shit work. Doss around, laugh at the management every time you smash something expensive, shit in the coffee machine, be listless and ineffective. Don't give a fuck. Tell customers the same. When your co-workers bug you, tell them to go take a flying fuck at the moon and get back to you when they've finished. Quit, find a better job. Fucking enjoy life and cock slap any bitch who says otherwise. Vandalise the toilets.

      Welcome to the corperation. The more you do for your three dollars an hour, the more people will expect you to do. People will take advantage of whatever good nature remains in that blackened, burnt out husk you call a soul.

      Take these experiences as, well, experience. Learn from the masters of slacking that you work with. And if you can't beat them, join them.

    3. Scuba Steve

      Scuba Steve

      Heh, I worked for a local Pizza shop in town years back. Some guy from Alaska and a younger girl worked with me most mornings. We'd spend most of the day cooking whatever food we wanted and eating all the frozen cake in the freezer. The owner left a dough to rise on the counter one day, and I baked a pizza out of it for myself and he came in looking around "Where in the hell is my pizza dough". Hell if I know Mike. He left notes for the staff to stop eating his profits, but I don't recall we in the morning crew paying it any creedence.

  9. The grand total for profits in the donut shop drive thru for four hours tonight?

    $4.67. Obviously incorrect, considering the fact that the one sandwich sold was worth more than that.

    One of my co workers is embezzling and I'm likely going to be blamed. Fun fun fun.

    1. Show previous comments  13 more
    2. Hobbs


      Dittohead said:

      Eat a donut in front of your manager just as he's asking you what's up with the cash variance. Then, like in the twix commercial, shove as much of it as you can into your mouth to avoid answering the question. It'll be hilarious, just like on TV.

      Or not. Weeping, creeping Jesus your suggestion is not a good way to keep a job. Assuming this blog poster wants to keep his.

    3. Bloodshedder


      Perhaps you should brush up on your sarcasm skills?

    4. Dco16


      I already still have my job, and so does the theif, because the security cameras that are supposed to look directly over the register in order to catch a thief if one were to steal... they can't see theft from the drawer. So the cameras are being fixed. If they ever try it again, oh boy, are they gonna get it... if the cameras are fixed correctly and moved to a reasonable place.

  10. At work, a young man, maybe no older than myself, came into Tim Horton's. he asked me for a cup of ice water, because we'll give it away free. (until they install the chips in our heads.) What he said to me was quite possibly the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Of course, I'm in food service, so it won't be at the top for long.

    "Last time I got water here, there were brown and black spots in it."

    "No shit?" I mumbled back. It had been a long fucking day.

    "Yeah, and after a drank it-" OH FUCK HERE'S WHERE MY BRAIN JUST SAYS 'WHY GOD WHY.... "-I got sick and had diharrea for like a week."

    So, if you get sick from it, have some more.

    I can only hope he was kidding. I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't because I've had people come in and ask me to put their hat in the microwave to dry it off.

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. Dco16


      Numbermind said:

      Holy crap, that's awesome!! I would so buy that.
      Sucks for you, though.

      If we sold cereal, and I gave you some, I would piss in it.

    3. Bucket


      The taste of your wee would be worth the millions I would sue your company for, and also the difficulty you would have finding another job.

      Yeah, that's right, I said it. I would "unknowingly" drink urine for that.

    4. Dco16


      Numbermind said:

      The taste of your wee would be worth the millions I would sue your company for, and also the difficulty you would have finding another job.

      Yeah, that's right, I said it. I would "unknowingly" drink urine for that.

      Well, it'd Horton's cereal, and it would probably taste better with the extra urine spice to it.

  11. This shit is getting weird...

    I've been transferred to the lovely night shifts at Tim Horton's (American Store #00-12-fuckitall). Most night shift customers are out of their fucking minds. Why? Because they come in at 10 PM to drink 32 oz. iced coffees. (The coffees are bigger in America, yet people still complain that they're too small. Ex. A Large here is an extra large in Canada)

    A man and woman came into the store at 9:30 PM a week ago, obviously stoned. The woman ordered six hot teas, and continued to tell my co worker and I how they were so excited to see the Tim Horton's sign.

    Around 9 o'clock tonight a lovely group of Canadians (with Irish accents) came in, nearly orgasming over the fact that there was a Tim Horton's.

    Two girls about my age (both really hot) and two guys (one young, one old) come in and order a long round of shit, but I didn't care in the end because I got a $1.50 tip from it, about fifty cents more than anyone makes on the whole night shift sometimes.

    The two girls ordered their stuff and we learned that they're going to New York. I didn't have the heart to tell them that they were in the last Tim Horton's they'd see on the trip.

    I'm not a coffee drinker, so what the fuck is so special about this place? I wouldn't react to a McDonald's or a Dunkin' Donuts in the same way... maybe a ma and pa's crack house, though, because those are so uplifting.

    1. Show previous comments  25 more
    2. Danarchy


      The fact that we have abbreviations to words not even in our language just backs up my statement even more.

    3. Bucket


      Why change them? Everybody knows what they fucking mean.
      Pick a more worthwhile crusade.

    4. Danarchy


      Where did I say we should change them?

      My original intention was to point out that everyone knows what they mean, so we shouldn't be arguing semmantics.

  12. About twenty minutes ago, I experienced something life changing.

    I'm about to get off work at Tim Horton's (A donut joint for those who don't know). I'm eyeing the clock nervously. It was 11:57 and I had three minutes before my shift was over so that I could walk across the street to get one of those fucking giant gallon jugs of Mountain Dew for ten cents or some shit like that.

    You know it's trouble when you seen an entire family in a BMW coming into the parking lot of a donut shop at noon. Two kids walk in, one skeletal mother, and one ancient and frail father, straight out of a GQ of twenty-five years ago, probably making six figures.

    I never knew that anyone would spend $27 at a donut shop. I didn't think it was possible. I'd been working five days, straight through the weekend, and this caught me slightly off guard. A sprite, a can of iced tea, a bottled water, a chai tea, three sandwiches, and, oh yeah, the skeletal mother is on Atkins or some shit so she wants her chicken club without a bun.

    They probably could have gone to an actual restaurant and gotten four sandwiches (one without a bun, asshole!) and it could have been faster and better prepared. But it's just so convenient to get it overpriced and have it appear to me made quick, who cares what it costs?

    And now, cruel irony: I wasn't even supposed to be there today!

    I love people.

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Danarchy


      Is it even physicly possible to eat a sandwich without a bun? Isn't that called a salad? Where exactly is the boundary between "salad" and "breadless sandwich"? Has the world really gone that mad?

      Grazza said:

      This reminds me of somebody who was at the Green Midget café at Bromley one day asking for egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam. People are awesome!

      What do you mean you don't like Spam!?

    3. Kristian Ronge

      Kristian Ronge

      [Drunken vikings stand up]
      Spam, spam, spam, spam,
      spam, spam, spam, spam,
      lovely spam...

    4. Xenaero


      Danarchy said:

      Has the world really gone that mad?

      Only in a world gone mad can things get even madder.

  13. Everyone remembers their very first WADs, right?

    I found a couple in my doom2 directory today. Horrible horrible memories.

    Mine were terrible. Awful. They weren't especially bad in layout, but I made an entire megawad not knowing what TAGS were. Rooms and doors and cliffs and doors and lava and doors.

    Here are reasons that the community is thankful that I had no idea how to upload anything before S.Q.W.I.R.E.L. (which I've even already come to regret... except for the oil rig level)

    Unnamed 1 - I thought that two rooms wrapped around a first was so neat at the time. Especially if the first had a Spider Mastermind, the second had 1000 SS Nazis, and the third was a giant HOM. SOOO COOL!

    KISSTHESKY - Let's just say I wondered why the floor sky and ceiling sky were all messed up.

    Center of Hell - four rooms, one with weapons, one with powerups, and one with a cyberdemon. The fourth? A 512 tall box with full walled-doors baby!

    BIG.wad - What's this? The normal "HONEY I SHRUNK THE DOOM MARINE" level.

    CHAOS - An attempt at a megawad, thankfully long gone and forgotten. I am so absolutely fucking glad this never went anywhere. Sure, it was 18 levels when I was done, but it never left my computer. It was a PC where you played a gray imp that used the normal doom weapons. This thing could have made D:RE look like P:AR

    CHAOS 2: Season of Death - See above, except add overly ambitious level design without experience or Source port effects coupled with 2-frame HL:Opposing Force screenshot atrocities. The wad ate itself and was unusable after I'd done four levels. Thank frigging god.

    Blargh - The beginning of a transition from "Crap" to "Less crap." Still crap. I tried making a bunch of DM levels for Skulltag (when it first had bots). The result - almost decent maps.

    Rotten - The ROTT tribute level that sucked beyond belief. No moving walls, no jump pads... could have been death if I hadn't ditched it to work on Next Nightmare. At least it had a descriptive title.

    That's it.

    1. fraggle


      My first WAD was an enormous room with STARTAN3 on the walls. There were about 30 cyberdemons in the room facing away from you. In addition to the cyberdemons there was a single trooper. Upon starting the level, the trooper would attack you but there would be no way to retaliate without waking up the entire room. There was also a switch (actually a huge wall with a repeating switch texture) for the exit on the opposite side of the room.

      Somehow in the process of trying to make a door, I managed to screw up such that one pressing on one wall would cause the ceiling to start raising upwards into infinity.

    2. Kochipahk


      My first wad was a small two-room map. The first had a SSG and a box of shells. The second had 4 imps. I still have it, too.

    3. iori


      Yeah I'm still proud I learned how to make doors and lifts etc without the need of a 'MAEK DOOR' button. deu rules.

  14. I released a new map. I'm told that there are texture errors from the nodebuilder I used (ZdBsp). So, I rebuild, then upload again. I check the map today, and there are even worse errors than when I started. I give up. The one in the doomworld mirror has just misaligned switches, but I had to be a jackass and go and fix things. Fuck revision. If you ever have a map, release it when you think you're done. In fact, just to be safe, release it when you're missing six or seven rooms.

    Oh, yeah, and I realize that it's all my fault anyway. I'm ranting.

  15. Every gaming magazine says the same damn thing about Half-Life 2. 'OMG IT"S VUNDERBAR!'

    Yes. Riding in an airboat for an hour and a half is just lovely. I love those those "real world puzzles" like putting X object on X platform to seesaw it so that you can jump over the goddamn fence that the new-wave l33tzorz physics engine should be able to let you blow the shit out of. And the needlessly lame final battle and kick in the balls ending were both quite spectacular. The mundane weapons were also a treat. Combine soldiers were such interesting enemies, I'm glad Valve used them more than id used Imps in Doom 3.

    And how about that gravity gun? There's no better way to say "look at our neat physics engine" than to give you a weapon that you're forced to use for two levels INCLUDING THE BOSS BATTLE. Great job Valve.

    I've tried to approach this a number of ways and I can't see why gaming magazines are so quick to foam at the crotch about this game besides the hype. Doom 3 > Half-Life 2 if not because it has more ass-kicking and a worthwhile ending, but because it never tripped over its own feet and promised revolutionary new shit. The sad thing is that Doom 3 would have been trounced even more severely if it had come out at the same time as HL2 and Halo 2. Why? Because it wasn't on a console and because it wasn't crowd pleasing. Doom 3 was too PC-centric to catch on. But I'm going to be laughing my ass off when they have to dumb everything down for the X-Box version.

    It's all too infuriating. When the hell is Serious Sam 2 coming out?

    1. Show previous comments  14 more
    2. Amaster


      The airboat and buggy lasted longer than I would have liked, but I still enjoyed those portions overall. I personally like puzzles in games and wish they were something more complicated than building ramps.

    3. dsm


      I liked the ending, despite it being overly simplistic in content.

      And I liked using the beefed up grav gun for the last few maps (that wasn't such a long stretch of time - if it were longer, I would've agreed with you) - the last maps was where the grav gun finally got cool to use.

      I agree about your vehicular issues though - another great example of why I think vehicles in FPS's blow elephant dick.

    4. DemonDemon


      I've played though Half-Life 2 and found it to be a fun game that I actually wanted to play all the way though. But the entire time I played I had a nagging feeling in the back of my head that something about was... off. None the less I finished the game and finally figured out what that feeling was. Half-life 2 had quite a lot of uses of the physics and used a good ammount of action with diffrent enviroments, but I knew deep in the back of my skull that it may look diffrent and seem diffrent it was still Half-life. What do I mean by that? In areas that I would usually get stuck in HL, I would get stuck in HL2. Areas that I would blaze though in HL, I blazed though HL2. In fact, other then the new look and additions, Half-life 2 was the same as Half-life. This is both good and bad. Good that it means it was worth every buck I spent on it, and that it was a good game. However it's bad because that means all they did was recreate the feel of the origional, but didn't surpass it, meaning that Half-life 2 is nothing more then Half-life made in a diffrent time. What should be a ground breaking game is just a good game.

      Now understand I don't hate Half-life 2 and certenly don't think Doom 3 was a waste, it's just as a GAME Half-life 2 was better then Doom 3, but didn't take my breath away the way it should have. Doom 3, however, is the real future of gaming, though the gameplay of Doom 3 its self is subpar. I'll just end my post here to avoid making too much of an off comment with this thread. :)

      P.S. It's late so I may have missed the keyboard a few times while typeing. ;)

  16. I'll play Pac-Man...

    When I'm DEAD!!

    1. AirRaid
    2. Bucket


      Who is NWO and why are you asking him that question?

    3. Dco16


      Numbermind said:

      Who is NWO and why are you asking him that question?

      You just bought yourself a ticket, smart guy!

  17. pwned.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Dco16



    3. Sephiroth


      so like, when can we download it?
      super turbo turkey puncher I & II oh yea
      what about super turbo chicken choker?

    4. Dco16


      Download it? It's not released. Maybe I'll throw a level together for you fine forumers tommorow.

  18. Is anyone else sick of people who can't seem to bring forth enough skill to lead a monster into the light or, god forbid, shoot into the darkness? I don't see any problem with this. In fact, I have devised statistics from my own gameplay:

    Cause of death/Times killed by it:

    Crowded by zombies and battered to death - 4
    Minigun zombie - 5 times
    Archvile insanity - 6 times
    Not being able to see a monster - 0 FRIGGING TIMES.

    Quit bitching.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Vile


      The weapon switching is faster than certain other id games, so it didn't bother me at all. The game was already too easy on Veteran skill, anyhow.

    3. Quast


      If I wanted to play a game and shoot blindly into darkness...i'd turn my fucking monitor off

      Fuck, 99% of the time you wanna shoot something, you aim at your feet and hope that the creatures attack doesn't swing your view around, thus missing

      I'm not one to bitch about the darkness, because it creates some amount of atmosphere. My main complaint is the ridiculous amount of monsters (99% imps) that tele in your vicinity. Were 10% of the monsters placed in the map when they designed it? I'd wager they were not.

      "Dum dee dum, oh look, a room I must enter to complete some task...maybe i'll go there. I sure hope no imps teleport near the door/right behind me once I reach the computer/PDA"


    4. Amaster


      I dont mind the flashlight switching, but I DO mind some of the excessive dark spots. Sometimes the extreme contrast between lit areas and dark areas caused me a bit of eye strain.

      Heh, I only died a couple of times from enemy attacks. Most of my deaths were self-inflicted.

  19. Crappy:



    Here's a better shot... in ZDOOM!!!


    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Relica Religia

      Relica Religia

      Not a bad conversion. You making a mod for Doom 2 or something?

    3. Dco16


      Nah. I was just messing around. I might put it into something later if such an oppurtunity comes up.

    4. Quast


      Ive got an entire wad with sound rips from doom 3 done already

  20. I ran Doom 3 in Ultra Quality, 1600x1200 resolution. It was still fairly playable. I took out an imp and a zombie with the shotgun and explored a bit.

    My specs:

    Athlon AMD 2.2Ghz
    Geforce 4 Ti 3200 128mb
    512 meg DDR ram

    This surprised the hell out of me, because Unreal Tournament 2003 runs about as well as this did in 1024x768 on highest settings. Bah! UT2k3 has levels smaller and infinitely less dense, and Doom 3 beats it out? WHAT THE HELL!?!!

    Unreal Tournament can suck it.

    Unreal Tournament can really suck it. I should have renamed this to "Unreal Tournament can suck it" because it can. People who bought Unreal Tournament 2004 for the extra stuff are idiots because they have wasted 5 gig on thier hard drive when Ut2k3 has mods for the new gameplay that are better.

    Look, vehicles that were made to ride the wave that Halo started. Halo sucks, so why not copy it instead of coming up with something good? The only thing that is worse than Halo is being sodomized in a gas station bathroom by a washed out member of the partridge family.

    Somebody told me on some ridiculous website that I would need "a computer that doesn't exist yet" to run it at highest quality. Meh. My 1 1/2 year-old machine does just fine. So, be hopeful humble players, and boost those goddamn video options through the freakin' roof!


    Be in awe, bitches! Be in awe.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. DaJuice


      No, it looks like crap because there is nothing interesting in the scene.

    3. Dco16


      Sorry, Juice! I have to remember that next time I take a screenshot, I should do it at right at the end boss' defeat just to make sure that you're happy because, after all, I give a shit.

    4. SyntherAugustus


      Ut2004 is 5.5gb because they're lots of content. UT2004 is way more than just "ut2004 with more crap". It plays rather different. Also, there are a lot of mods for it.

      Also, if you use 4X AA and AF in ut2004 it looks comparably nice as Doom 3.

  21. You know what? I hate them both. One because it screwed up the S.Q.W.I.R.E.L. Mod the first time and the other because it screwed it up the second time. Both editors hate me! Wintex doesn't rename one file when I tell it to and it puts a giant fucking wrench into everything. ARGH. ARGH ARGH and other pirate sayings!

    DoomEd always saves WAD's wrong if there are too many linedefs or sectors, or if it just feels like ruining your day. Lev02 in the mod has a sidedef with no MAIN texture because DoomEd needed to be a whiny bitch. I have had maps I've wanted to realease, but DoomEd sucks. Meh. It seems easier to use than other editors.

    P.S. My cat is drunk of his ass:

    1. Naked Snake

      Naked Snake


      Doom Builder rocks your pants and makes your dick start to dance.

    2. Scuba Steve

      Scuba Steve

      Wintex is the best Doom editing program ever made.

    3. Ralphis


      Scuba Steve said:

      Wintex is the best Doom editing program ever made.

      Agreed padawan