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Darkhaven

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  1. Holy shit.

    Now, most of you are wondering what this is going to have to do with the Food & Drug Administration and the Federal Trade Commission, so here it is: It
    dawned on me as of recently that Americans today are taking more drugs than ever before, but at the same time, nobody ever gets cured from the drugs
    the FDA and FTC allow into our society. I decided to do a little research on this topic just to see what was going on, and I discovered a few things many
    would find hard to swallow: First of all, there are over 5 cures for cancer available today. In fact, at least 3 of them were available 30 years ago! For
    example, there was a man about 'yay long ago that came up with a serum that could shrink a cancerous tumor and cause that tumor to virtually vanish in a matter of
    approximately ninety minutes. Not only this, but the FDA suppressed his efforts and eventually outlawed the fruits of his labor- this only proves the fact
    that all the FDA wants is more money; Dr. Betruger was right.
    Also, there was a scientist who invented a machine a little further back down the
    timeline which could cause the complete and utter elimination of cancer cells throughout the patient's body instantaneously through a certain sound
    wave frequency. Unsurprisingly, this man's efforts were also suppressed by the FDA and FTC. In addition, there are at least 2 different natural compounds
    that could be ingested and would, in a matter of days, eliminate cancerous cells in the patient's body.
    Next up, there was a man who discovered
    that the use of a kind of marine plant could be ingested which would yield the same general effect as the two aforementioned natural compounds; he
    successfully cured over 30,000 people of cancer with this method.
    Moving on, (alot of you are not going to believe this) but through a little research and very little effort I've stumbled upon a cure for Acid-Reflux
    Disease: Get some apple-cider and mix it with a small amount of vinegar. It may not taste like the best thing in the world, but it's just about guaranteed to
    cure Acid-Reflux in a matter of days.

    Moving on to some more serious matters, here's something that will make you choke on your pop-tarts: In the mid-70's, there was one man who discovered
    a recipe for "no-hunger bread," which acted sort of like a "cure" for obesity. However, this is where the FDA comes in- they got wind of his medical claim, and
    took action almost immediately, and informed him that he was no longer selling bread, but he was selling a drug. Now, prior to this, the FDA
    had successfully passed a completely bullshit law that stated that "only drugs can prevent or cure a disease."
    WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH AMERICA?!
    Anyway, they confiscated all that bread, which was enough to feed over one million homeless folk (like me), and destroyed it without the thought to give
    it to the homeless. Bunch of fucking federal dickwarts at work, eh?

    In addition to all this bullshit, here's the universal cure to viral sicknesses: drink some fucking hydrogen peroxide. I know it sounds bad. Trust me. But think about it;
    it's a proven medical fact that viruses cannot survive in oxygen-rich environments. That should be enough to get the point across.

    The mods and admins here are going to be on my ass any minute now along with the rest of you knobs, but before you make some retarded-ass negative comment to
    this thread, take a second or two to think about it; do wild animals ever have heart attacks? Do wild animals ever get acid-reflux or cancer? Well, scratch
    that bit about cancer, but still, it's very rare.

    1. Show previous comments  24 more
    2. Dr. Zin

      Dr. Zin

      Darkhaven said:

      Name one wild gorilla that LIVED IN THE JUNGLE that died of lung cancer.



      Autopsies typically aren't given to animals living in the wild.

      You don't usually see sick animals in the wild because they have no medicine to prolong their lifespans. This combined with the fact that any weakness compromises the animal's ability to survive gives an illusion that animals rarely get sick.

      In effect animals get picked off by predators or succumb quickly to their diseases. Watch nature documentaries and you will see that an animal that gets sick is dead within hours to maybe a few days, while modern human medicine allows terminally ill patients to prolong their lives by months or even years.

      I always have wondered why people only had average lifespans of 40 years when these so called "natural" medicines were prevalent, but with the rise of modern medicine we have seen a great expansion of the length of human life.




      Edit:

      And Occam's Razor needs to be applied to these conspiracy theories about the FDA. Is it more likely that the FDA approves drugs to intentionally hurt us and advance a fascist agenda, or is it more likely that it is a typical government organization that is under-funded and under-staffed pushed to approve things as quickly as possible?

    3. Sharessa

      Sharessa

      Wonderbread is neither a wonder nor bread.

    4. Scuba Steve

      Scuba Steve

      Darkhaven said:

      Pointless drivel

      What everyone else just said.

    5. Show next comments  3 more
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