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AndrewB

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About AndrewB

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  1. Saturday night I got the impulse to go to a night club. I go maybe once or twice a year. I've learned to enjoy it a lot more in recent years. My favorite club is a tropical-themed venue. They play plenty of top 40, but they mix in a lot of 80s and 90s hits as well. The crowd is really diverse. Even couples in their 60s come there to dance. The overall douchebaggery level is at an absolute minimum.

    There's one thing that still bugs me though, more than anything else. The ridiculous volume levels. Pretty easy problem to solve with a $2 bag full of earplugs. But why waste that money when you can make your own?

    The idea seems pretty life hacky. Those little in-ear earphones come with 3 sets of ear buds. Small, medium, large. I use the large for listening. I can use the medium as makeshift earplugs. Oh, but I can only find one of the damned things. No problem, the small should work just fine.

    But wait, what about the little hole in the middle of them that lets the sound trough? Seems to defeat the whole idea. If only I could plug that hole somehow. Glue? Seems kind of messy, and I don't have it anyway. Cover the hole with tape? No luck, the stuff doesn't adhere to the silicon at all.

    My genius strikes! Rubber bands. Yep, thin little ones. I just cut off about a 3cm section, fold it twice over, and cram it into the hole. Works perfect! Repeat for the other bud, and try them out. I turn up the volume on the TV. It muffles the sound wonderfully. I see how they look in the mirror. It's almost impossible to tell I'm wearing them.

    I head off to the club around 11. I thoroughly enjoy the music in all its uber-comfortable treble-neutered glory. My ears feel very protected.

    Head home at 2am. Pull out the left bud. Pull out the right, oh. Can't seem to get a grip. Try a bit more. Okay. Probably would be best to use tweezers to avoid risking pushing it in. (By the way, try holding a mirror to another mirror while holding tweezers, and then actually try to get your brain to move your hand in the proper direction. For a perfect analogy of what it's like, turn your mouse around 180 degrees and use your browser for a bit.)

    3 minutes later, the homemade earplug is completely buried deep within my ear. The tweezers can reach the bud, they just can't maintain any kind of grip on the thin, oily, rubbery material.

    This was the story of my first ever trip to the ER. Fortunately, I only had to wait until 5:45am for the doctor to see me, and it took him maybe 15 seconds to get it out. I was home and in bed by 6. And my ears are happy and healthy.

    As for the ear buds, I've learned my lesson. From now on, I'll use the large buds as earplugs, and the small ones for listening.

    1. darknation

      darknation

      you need bigger plugs.

    2. darknation

      darknation

      I can't believe that AndrewB just quite literally filled his head with elastic bands and broken earphones, quite kindly dropped into blogs to give us all the lulz-down, and not one person is going to show their appreciation.

      for shame.

    3. Maes

      Maes

      What's the worst that could happen? AndrewB's ears get infected and his hearing destroyed? We can live with that (I guess).

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