AndrewB

I'm in a bit of an uncomfortable situation involving my immediate family collaborating to try to fix me up with a girl I met last week. That's the summary; I'll explain why this is uncomfortable in the long version.

Last Saturday, me, my younger brother, his girlfriend (who I'll call N), and one of their friends went out to the batting cages and then for ice cream. That's the first time I met B, who is a couple of years younger than me, cute, and well equipped (I think no clarification is needed). I didn't think anything of it. As far as I was concerned, is was something for me to do on a Saturday night while family was in the city. It was basically a "3 and then 1" arrangement where three friends went out, and I went along. I didn't think anything of it past that.

The next day, I talked to my mom to arrange me coming up to visit for the long weekend. I ended up hearing through my mom on the phone that B "has her eye on me." OK, that's nice to know, but I didn't say anything. I thought that maybe is was just wishful thinking on my mom's part, but no matter. I went on to make the arrangements for me to come up for the weekend.

So today (Thursday) I came up to visit. I took the bus 3/4 of the way, and went the rest of the way with my family who was in town getting groceries and running errands. So I spent some time in the car with my brother, N, and my mom. There was a brief period of time when I was alone in the car with my N, during which time she was all coy and trying to hold back joy/laughter. I told her to go ahead and laugh, as I wouldn't ask her what was so funny. She then revealed to me that B said she thought I was "cute, but in stronger words than that." She also told me that if I asked B out, she would probably say yes. She then asked what I thought, and I said "That's nice to know" basically trying to remain as neutral as possible.

So then it's later tonight, around 10PM, and B phoned to talk to my brother and his girlfriend about random stuff. Well, about 20 minutes into that I somehow got involved. N handed me a handwritten note that had B's phone number. I politely took it and discreetly put it in my pocket, again trying to look as neutral as possible. A few minutes later, N handed the phone to me and said that B had something to say. I took the phone and said "Hey." B then acted as though my N was playing games. So I headed back into the other room to figure out what was going on. My mom then said "It's a girl, Andrew. You know? Boy, girl, conversation?" I felt like saying "Yeah yeah, penis vagina. What's your point?" Instead, I handed the phone back to N and said to her "B says N is playing games," trying to wash my hands of the whole phone call. Anyway, it seemed obvious enough to me that B was nervously trying to find a way to talk to me, but she kind of chickened out at the last moment.

Later on during my brother / N's phone call, N approached me asking for me to write down my email address. Uncomfortably, I did so. I said to N "You know, I'm doing this as a favor for you." N said that she really appreciated it. And that was that. So far, I have not received any email from any shy girl.

If you've read this far, you might well be slapping your forehead, saying to yourself "What the hell is wrong with AndrewB?! He met girl, he thinks she's cute, she thinks something along the same lines, and he's trying to kill it!"

I'll now tell you why this is very uncomfortable to me. I simply have no intention on getting a girlfriend who is directly involved / in prior close contact with my immediate family. Is it, quite simply, a very strong boundary of mine that will not be crossed. I will not allow my intimate personal details to be relayed indirectly to my mother / younger brother. And knowing that B is in constant close contact with my brother in chummy conversations, I know that is exactly what would happen. Maybe it's a strange attitude, or maybe it's completely common, I don't know. However, it is definite. It's just not going to happen.

So there you have it. I have absolutely no problem walking away from a girl who I think is cute, and who just happens to be slightly obsessed in my direction. However, I also have no intention on hurting a perfectly innocent/attractive girl by giving her the false impression that I think negatively of her in some way. Now I have to find a way to let this whole thing cool off without being a complete jerk. Fun times ahead.