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Kelzam

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About Kelzam

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  1. I was working on my DOOM 64 EX map around 10 PM tonight when I got a call from my Mother. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach - she always texted me to ask me to give her a call when she wanted to talk. She never called without warning. As soon as I picked up the phone I heard it in her voice that something was really wrong, and she told me it was grandpa, that his heart had stopped and they couldn't do anything for him and get it to start again. Somehow I just knew it had to be that one of my only two grandparents had passed away, I just didn't know which to expect. My grandmother has always had impeccable health but is only 5'0" and very much overweight.

    My grandfather has struggled since he had a combination of a heart attack and stroke a few years back, even having a blood clot removed this last Fall that could've done him in, otherwise. The worst part is being in Houston, when my family are all up in Missouri and not having the means to go see them at the moment. I'm hoping the funeral or services are during the weekend so my partner and I can go see my family and be there with them for a time, but either way I need to go see them.

    What is probably most bizarre is my sudden interest and love of DOOM mapping again in the last two days. The context in which this fact applies is that my grandfather was the one who got me started nearly 17 years ago. It was my grandfather that had found a map editor on an internet bulletin board and put it onto a floppy disk. When I was little I wanted to make my own Sonic levels because I loved the classic Sonic games as a kid and I spent a lot of time drawing these ridiculous sketchy levels across multiple pieces of printer paper before stapling them together. At some point my grandfather introduced me to Heretic and Duke Nukem 3D, then eventually DOOM and DOOM 2. It was a long step up from Commander Keen and Kingdom of Kroz on the old monochrome IBM he had given me.

    DOOM 2 mapping lead to Quake 3 Arena, attempting to help with what I could for the original DOOM 64 TC, then later DOOM 3 and an ever expanding interest to try my hand at everything from Starcraft to Portal 2, before beginning a brand new project in Unity and now being friends with several devs in the game industry. My grandfather supported me in any way he could, along with working his ass to the bone and giving his all for his loved ones and their needs. So it is bizarre that, after losing sight of mapping and not having truly touched DOOM mapping since 2006 that I suddenly felt this urge and fervor for mapping again in the last two days. Two days that I've spent doing nothing in my free time other than working on a new map in DOOM 64 EX, jotting down ideas for a map series, that I'm now going to dedicate to his memory.

    RIP Richard Bozworth, I'll cherish my memories with you, always.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Kelzam

      Kelzam

      Thanks, everyone. I'm determined to finish a project for public release, as it's something I've never done despite years of mapping. I think he'd love what I'm doing :)

    3. Lizardcommando

      Lizardcommando

      Sorry for your loss :(

    4. Tracer

      Tracer

      Tonight, I will raise my glass to you and your grandfather. I am so sorry to hear about this, man. If you want to chat about it, PM me.

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